2. I passed a person countless times, and the clothes were scraped without sparks.

It's really convenient to keep goldfish. The first day, the second day died, there is no need to feed.

4. Eggs break life from the inside and food from the outside!

5. Women are plump, thin and slim, tall and slender, and short and exquisite! Men are fat pigs, thin ribs, tall bamboo poles and short wax gourd!

6. No matter how complicated your facial features are, you can't hide your low IQ.

7. I suggest that everyone should know my appearance first, and appreciate it second.

8. The three tragedies of dinner: the person to be invited didn't come, and the person who came has nothing to do with you, leaving you awake when you check out.

9. Everything in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business", and no one has cracked it. Until one day, God replied: I fell in love with your daughter-in-law.

10. The last manual work in kindergarten this semester was to find three kinds of insects as specimens. Other people's dolls catch butterflies with nets in the park. My female companion found Cao Meng, scarab and dung beetle. The most important thing is that my family poked dung beetles in the boy's face with their bare hands and was complained by other parents.

Life is a play, and we are all Oscar winners.

12. I went to see my future mother-in-law with my girlfriend today. She recognized me at a glance and treated me really well. I can tell you that I spent 500 yuan to hire someone to quarrel with my future mother-in-law last week, and then I went to stop the fight and scolded that person. At that time, my mother-in-law wanted to introduce me to my girlfriend, but I politely refused!

13. In order to be a rich second generation, I stayed in bed every day until my father made a fortune.

14. Other people's faces are destined to be seven points, three points depend on dressing up, your face is destined to be one point, and nine points depend on filters.

15. People must not treat themselves badly when they are alive. For example, losing weight is too far from me, and eating a bowl of meat is more practical.

16. Nobody held my hand, so I put it in my pocket.

17. Girls need to be motivated to find a boyfriend. In fact, when they meet an enterprising man, they will be asked to take care of their families.

18. I don't mean not to laugh, but the powder will fall off when I laugh!

19. The goddess just looks like a P, and the female diaosi just looks like a chop!

20. I'm not your little raccoon. It's fun to play without you.

2 1. When children are old enough to separate beds, they always refuse to sleep alone. It is always inconvenient for my husband to see older children. He gnashed his teeth and was cruel. He sleeps with his child in his arms every night and snores loudly. Where is the child hiding? He cried like a child. After several nights of tossing, I can't stand it. I rushed my husband to the room where the children were ready for bed!

22. Please recommend a sports car with a price of over 4 million. It starts fast, is comfortable enough and looks good. The more expensive, the better. I want to change the wallpaper of my mobile phone.

23. I talked to my mother on the phone last night, and my mother started talking again. Let me either take my partner home for the New Year this year, or go back to his home for the New Year with my partner, otherwise I will bear the consequences! I thought about it and said to my mother, "There's nothing I can do. I don't think the zoo will agree! " "

24. Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, others envy you for having a good stomach, you envy others for being rich, and others envy no one to borrow money from you.

25. My wife and I went to the cemetery. Because I left in a hurry, I found that I didn't have any money, so I let my wife buy it! I was sitting there smoking alone when a couple came!

26. A friend of a friend keeps a little hamster and regards it as a treasure. He also bought a DIY villa for hamsters. After a long fatigue, he finally assembled it. He stepped back a few steps to see the overall effect and accidentally trampled to death. ...

27. I always feel fat recently, and I feel my face shaking when I walk.

28. There is an attitude called nonsense, that is, our life is so difficult that we don't need to explain it at all.

29. Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

30. Rainy days are suitable for sleeping at home, sunny days are suitable for going out for a walk, and for a long time, not a day is suitable for going to work.