After careful calculation, I have been meditating for three months. And every meditation brings different feelings. Sometimes my back hurts badly, sometimes my left leg hurts badly, sometimes it hurts in both places, sometimes my thinking and breathing are easy to concentrate, sometimes my brain is in a mess, sometimes I can hardly hold on for a long time, and sometimes I feel comfortable sitting down soon. In order to write this article, I often ask myself: Why do you insist on meditation? Why did you persist? What kind of power has it given you? ……
Once upon a time, I was as attached to my mobile phone as everyone else. Of course, I don't play games with it, I don't stock it, I just use it for chatting. The person behind the screen is mysterious and perfect, which satisfies the tenderness and existence in all my fantasies. They are like cities in the air, rising and falling in reality. Between people, illusory and lonely. Piled up one by one, it is a figure swaying in the light, floating around, lifeless. When I met yoga, reading and writing, people began to become real, but all the problems became real and urgent. I urgently needed to solve and face the problems in my life and work. Before, I didn't want to face it, nor did I dare to face it. I just want to find a gentle hometown and tell everything. I just hope someone can help me solve all my problems.
If I say that I have put everything down and realized everything since I meditated for an hour, it is also self-deception. Do you think it's so difficult to put down your cell phone, let alone everything?
Yoga started me to explore and pay attention to my inner self, and meditation became a springboard for this exploration. My concern, my world, is gradually put in front of my eyes and in the present. I remember the first time I meditated with a "inaction" mentality, the first time I went to see Lele reading with peace of mind, the first time I chatted with Mr. Wei without judgment, the first time I walked on the red brick road in the sun with nothing to do, and the first time I stared at my colleagues?
Now, the mobile phone is no longer a tool for me to chat. Occasionally encounter troubles, but also hold back from touching. Instead, I rely on my inner awareness and strength to look at my emotions, hug the little girl who is hurt inside, comfort her and take care of her. During the meditation time, restore the truth of the event and meet yourself behind the truth.
I feel sensitive and hurt, so in the articles written in earlier years, there is a very sad atmosphere everywhere. Of course, this also makes my pessimism more and more intense. What set each other off is that I also met it and attracted a lot of harm. To tell the truth, I knew yoga four years ago just to find a place to heal. Earlier years ago, it seemed that my married life had already had problems. At that time, all I did was complain and struggle. Maybe he is young and strong, even he is brave and fearless in his struggle, and he will never stop until he dies.
The struggle of blood and tears can't wake up each other or themselves, but on such an ignorant road, we go further and further, and then we have to constantly save it from the outside world, but we never thought that the comfort given by the outside world is always short-lived, and it will be exhausted when it is blown by the wind. In the end, it will only leave deeper flowers, bleak and lingering.
I still clearly remember attending Mr. Mu's Zen yoga training class. The first day, the first time, I sat for 60 minutes. My head hurts, my back hurts and my legs hurt. No matter how hard I try, I can't relieve the pain. I can't hold on any longer. I want to stretch my legs. I want to lie on the ground. I want to wave my hand and run away from this room. All kinds of thoughts, positive and negative, make me upset and miserable. I quietly opened my eyes and looked at the Buddha statue on the desk opposite. Whether it is blocked by dim light or dazzling sunshine, it is always in front of my eyes, smiling and motionless. I closed my eyes again, and the pain eased slightly in my deliberate long breath, but it was only that moment. At the moment when I finally relaxed, I was as happy as if I were alive again. Slowly, the pain gradually drifted away and the flustered mood gradually calmed down.
Time and time again, from the unbearable pain, open your eyes and stretch your legs, and feel the pain of life again and again. I start here and end there. Why cling to pain and trap yourself in it for a long time? Open your eyes and stretch your legs, and the pain will go away. Why are you afraid of it? Obsessed? Why do you hold it every day? It will go after all, but because of your persistence, it is entangled here day by day. Who is to blame? Who is to blame?
From then on, the wisdom and relief brought by meditation made me persist without hesitation. Miss me, I have read so many books and attended so many classes, all in order to find a way out. Now, I met and felt it, and I was driving on that starry night, when I suddenly realized that I was in tears.
I snuggled up on the sofa and chatted with Mr. Wei. In fact, I was talking about my inner fear and the influence of my family. In fact, I was afraid to say this before, but at that moment I really said my feelings, described the fear he brought me and analyzed the reasons. And such frankness and truth also enhance our communication and interaction with each other. Now he seldom criticizes me, and I encourage him to do what he likes. Watching him busy all day, and his love and understanding of Chinese medicine also opened a small world of career and mind for him.
Now, I go to work during the day and go to the yoga studio after work twice a week. The rest of the time, I went back to my small home, watching Lele Chicken do homework, watching TV, watching Teacher Wei cook and answering the phone. Then, everyone went their separate ways. Teacher Wei went for a walk in the playground, and I meditated in the bedroom. The chicken helped me close the door of the room consciously. Life is very busy and happy. Sometimes, if you don't look back and change, you will leave no trace.
Although I have been practicing yoga for nearly four years, during these years, I have encountered physical obstacles, such as low back pain and rhinitis, which almost made me give up yoga and switch to other forms of exercise. Later, because of the long-term aimlessness at work, I had a further spiritual pursuit of yoga. Especially after reading some classic yoga books, I realized the profundity and wisdom of yoga theory. So, I think, one day, when I learn something, I must spread it better and let more people meet it.
After the four-day training course, I began to get up at 5: 30 every day to practice yoga. Don't force yourself when you are in physiological period or lazy. Of course, I don't blame myself. Especially when I am lazy, I will indulge myself and wait until the next day to continue practicing. Of course, meditation is the same. What we need is a continuous process.
Persistence in meditation has better promoted the persistence of yoga. Of course, my progress in asana is also recognized by the teacher. I have been practicing yoga for several years, that is, at this moment, by practicing yoga for half an hour to forty minutes every morning, in just a few weeks, I can actually be said by Teacher Xiaoyue: You are doing well.
All along, my working environment and nature, from the army to the local, are mainly within the system. Once, a teacher showed me the date of birth with the algorithm of playing cards. According to her, I was not suitable to develop in the work within the system from the beginning, and now, I can persist for so long, which is also the root cause of my inner pain. I really wanted to jump out in those days, but the feeling of not stopping really bothered me. Now that I think about it, it feels like the first 60-minute meditation. I can't move or sit.
Going home or going to a yoga studio every day is a moment I yearn for. And meditation day after day has gradually calmed down the confusion that I can't achieve at present. No matter what kind of job I like, what kind of job I don't like, what kind of job I am suitable for, and what kind of job I am not suitable for at present, if I put all my inner entanglements and dissatisfaction on the job of making a living for me, wouldn't I waste a lot of effort and emotion in this unchangeable reality? In this case, it is better to regard it as a better platform. You have read so many books and studied yoga for so long, all for harmony with people and the environment. You can also try to use the rules in Breaking King Kong in your work and interpersonal communication to see what effect it can have.
At work, I tested the transformation brought by meditation. I clearly realized that in the past, my qi was always on the position of my chest, as if on the verge of explosion, and then my mood would change dramatically in an instant, and my temperament would move dramatically in an instant. Now I feel that the gas has sunk in the position of the lower abdomen, or I feel heavy. As for where I sank, I often didn't feel it. This settlement method makes me speak slowly and softly, and I can't bring out my dissatisfaction and resentment against others. It seems that if you really want to get angry, you have to turn a few corners and walk a few blocks. Of course, there are times when I can't help it, but soon, I will realize that I am wrong and apologize to the leader.
I took a long breath and wrote for hours, but I didn't want to have lunch. Fortunately, it was written at the end.
I believe there will be thousands of ways to transform you in this world. It's just that I happened to meet yoga and meditation, which happened to be reflected and tested in me. Therefore, I naturally presented it in words with a sincere heart. I know, even so, it is not comprehensive enough, because in my life, with the continuous progress of meditation, I will continue to have new experiences and presentations. In your life, due to the deep karma in the past and the great differences in ideas, our cognition of things will be very different. It is true that not everyone needs one way or another to get happiness, because there are always some people whose lives are smooth, calm and beautiful from beginning to end, and if misfortune is like you and me, I naturally hope you can learn something from it, even if it is only a little, I am happy!
The text is too long, you are tired, thank you for paying attention to this article ~
Wen/Hua Tuan