Stay calm and don't respond in a hurry.
Parents who are too anxious can easily arouse their children's anger and cause extra harm and pressure to their children.
Give the boy some space to calm down at his own pace. Before that, parents should take a rest and adjust their breathing. Before responding, make sure you can handle this situation calmly.
Only when parents live in harmony can children's bad temper be alleviated.
The tone of concern guides the boy to express his feelings.
Emotionally, boys often don't express their feelings. Sometimes they want to express their anger, but they say "I hate you" to their parents. You know, every naughty boy who loses his temper is a frustrated child. He is not "looking for trouble", but lacks encouragement and care.
When he calms down, his parents should help him patiently and guide him to express his feelings and thoughts. For example, "Are you angry because of XX?"
Listen carefully to his expression, don't interrupt in a hurry, and let him have enough time to distinguish his emotions.
Emotional breakdown, temporary isolation
When a boy is angry and refuses to talk, in order not to hurt his self-esteem, you can take him to a quiet place first and let him vent. At the same time, tell him to have a good talk with him as long as he calms down.
"Temporary isolation" is by no means snubbing him, let alone punishing or threatening him, but to avoid confrontation with the boy. Always let the boy know that we allow you to express negative emotions and accept you like this. Whether you cry or make fun, we are all here.
Pay attention to children's physical and emotional needs.
Boys' expressive ability is weak, and they need to be seen and understood by their parents.
Especially when he has a bad temper, think about whether he is uncomfortable. Are you hurt? Or is the emotion unsatisfied?
What a boy wants is that his parents can walk into his world through his expressions and actions, instead of nagging and demanding.
Linking the child's behavior with his inner needs can not only help him understand his emotions, but also let him know himself.
Let the children choose for themselves.
Smart parents will not fill in the blanks for boys, but choose multiple-choice questions. Especially when the boy's needs are out of date or will have some bad effects, let him choose: "Do you want to restrain yourself or stick to your own ideas, but you must bear the corresponding consequences."
This is also to exercise the self-control of boys. If he chooses the former, give him encouragement and praise, he must be reasonable.
But if you choose the latter, you need to inform him of the consequences in advance, and let him know what his actions will cost. Only by not doting and indulging can we discipline him well.
Give a clear explanation when you are not satisfied.
Boys also have their own will and are strongly rejected, so it is easy to accumulate more negative emotions in their hearts. If parents give authority and tell the boy "I have the final say", playing hardball will often cause contradictions.
Say "no" to the boy and tell him your specific reason. For example, don't let him buy any more toys, because he has promised not to buy them when he goes out, or there are already many toys of the same type at home.
Explaining the reasons clearly is to avoid denying his needs, but also to protect his self-confidence and guide him to understand and control his behavior.
You can express the same, but be firm.
Communication with boys must be gentle and firm. Put yourself in his shoes to understand how he wants something or realizes a wish.
But if he has been testing his parents' bottom line with his own behavior, he will still cry and get angry. Parents should also stick to their own position and not give in casually.
Let him realize that parents will not agree to things that violate the rules and touch on principles. In this way, he gradually learned to give up threatening his parents by losing his temper.
Don't lose your temper, set a good example for your child.
It is a kind of laziness in education to get angry with children and discipline them by beating and cursing, which does more harm than good.
Writer james baldwin said: "Children are never good at listening to the teachings of their elders, but they never miss imitating their elders.
It is a wrong demonstration for parents to lose their temper, which is easy for boys to think that this is the correct way to solve the problem.
So no matter what the situation is, no matter how tearful the problem is, you should restrain yourself and don't break into a furious rage in front of the children. Remember, parents' good or bad mood brings their children a completely different life direction.