The author's words were clear and clever, but after reading them, I was silent. The characters, plots and my feelings in the book are still violently colliding in my mind, and I am trying to sort out my thoughts.
Unpopular negative teaching materials; Educate children with skills, judge children with grades, teach secular "successful" children and become the envy of others; The pain that can't be erased in my heart, pulling the child to bear it together; If you want to suffer hardships across classes, you should also send your children to private schools. ...
Nine stories, no educational myth, each disturbing, each story has scarred children and an undercurrent home.
These children may spend their whole lives trying to escape from the cage of losing themselves. Even if they are "successful" one day, behind the glamorous children, they are already riddled with holes, and the slightest sign of trouble is dangerous.
(1) sons of human beings and children of cats
Glasses man's family is rich, but if his grades are slightly unsatisfactory, he will be severely punished. Glasses is a frightened child, timid and quiet, like a silent wandering soul.
The father of glasses was ashamed of his son's grades. He put pressure on his glasses mother, who turned to her son simply and rudely. In the eyes of people who don't know the inside story, glasses have a pair of parents who love him very much.
2 come down in one continuous line? Molly's mother is strong and strict. She was admitted to a prestigious school and finished graduate school. Her mother arranged for her to get married when she wanted to go to the United States to study for a doctorate. Quiet and obedient, married and had children and became a housewife. Facing her indifferent husband, Molly secretly hid in the toilet and cried for countless nights.
A family conflict, Molly finally stood up! She went out to work and had a good career. Although she is still afraid in front of her mother, she bravely guards her daughter Xiao Ye, a quiet little girl who is labeled as "autistic" and likes painting. She cut off all the branches and vines that bound her daughter.
3 "Be sure to move more"? Jova's mother stared at people eagerly. She accidentally lost her eldest son, and the care for her daughter was airtight, so the care of love became a burden that could not be abandoned. Ruowa is a sad, beautiful and gentle child. She realizes that it is the only meaning of her mother's life to identify her daughter with ADHD and take care of her sick daughter. So she would rather pretend to be sick, cooperate with the performance and protect her mother's life value.
4 "private myth"? Qiao Yi's parents work hard and send their children to private schools for a better future. Faced with the disparity between the rich and the poor, Qiao Yi is worried that her poverty will be discovered by her classmates every day, and she is burdened with pressure and guilt every day because of high tuition fees, which drags down her family's economy and small shoulders.
He has no home? Chen Xiaoguai is smart, organized, rational, eager for knowledge, strong learning ability and good at taking care of himself. However, all this is just for maternal love and gentle care for mother. It's a pity that his mother is cold and distant, regards her children as a burden of life and is unwilling to respond to his desire for maternal love. When he was like a chess piece, he was moved around by adults, wronged, disappointed and depressed, and finally chose to give up himself. He said: what's the point of studying if a person has no home and can't find a place to belong? !
6 "talent"? Ji Xiaodi's mother forced him to study by the book with her planned goals and rhythm. She firmly believes that the method of cultivating top students' sisters, with a large amount, will certainly cultivate another top student. Afraid of the unknown future, she forced her two children to embark on the "easiest" road of reading. It's a pity that Ji Xiaodi's interest and talent are in sports rather than reading, and he passively resists. When Ji Xiaodi's favorite basketball was banned by his mother, the conflict inevitably happened ... He rushed to the door and his mother suddenly began to cry.
⑦ A small theater in the wardrobe? This is a beautiful and delicate boy. As a teenager, he knows his true sexual orientation. In the face of his parents' overreaction, he was kind enough to hide secrets and painfully associate with girls in order to reassure his parents. I live a secret life that I can't be honest with my parents, and my true self has nowhere to put it.
8 "monsters get together"? Story mother, loving mother and loving mother are common campus scenery in primary schools. A mother's enthusiasm for her children is like a burning star, illuminating every child. However, with the child's growth, the mother's excessive protection and strong intervention, the "good mother" became a monster, which interfered with his normal communication with his peers. Mother's ardent love made Han Wei an insulator of friendship, exiled by the world, and finally exiled herself. "Do whatever you want" and "Do whatever you want" became his mantra and life notes.
Pet-name ruby "the monologue of the high flyer"? Gao's mother wanted to know the Lord, but she still became a "tiger mother", replacing praise with negation and forcing her daughter by going up one flight of stairs. Her uncertain mood, tough attitude and indifference of her excellent eldest daughter have alienated her, and her extremely cynical little daughter has become a pain that she doesn't want to say and can't erase.
Every mother tries her best to design a chess game for her children. The position and rhythm of playing chess are controlled by the mother's will. Therefore, the children in the book have sad souls.
These mothers don't even know when they lost their children. However, the author does not intend to construct the demonized mother image. With the gentle eyes of an intervener, she penetrated the details of these mothers' lives and sympathized with the scars from the patriarchal family that had not healed for many years, and some of them were even in "pain".
……
If you have not been loved well, how do you know how to love someone?
Mothers who have not recovered from the pain have to shoulder the heavy responsibility of raising children.
Author Wu Xiaole is good at telling stories. At the beginning of every story, a de-contextualized word paved a passage of time and space, allowing the protagonist to show up to lead the way and ignite the soul of the story.
It's an understatement, but it's climax after climax. Every story makes people want to cry. Her words are concise, simple, accurate and charming, and the scheduling scene is flexible, with a sense of picture and drama.
But the reason why this book is really touching is that the author went deep into the lives of these children, gave them a profound and rational education and had a keen insight. In the station, she could hear the faint cries of children in their youth-pain, helplessness, timidity, anger, joy, longing and despair; It can be seen that they have either been exiled or have fought fiercely with their loved ones. When she stepped forward, she was called an "outsider" because she was just a "contract worker" hired by others and could be tested and replaced at any time.
She is in an awkward position. Should she be involved or keep her distance? She still can't help but observe, intervene, criticize and reflect on the miserable life. The children's secrets and pains have been attached to her soul, and she wrote stories, making reading an axe in the frozen ocean in our hearts.
At the end of the article, she put her growing experience and the story of her children together. We have seen her gentle side, as well as her studious and exemplary side. She lives in poverty, is rich in heart and has a bright future.
The author graduated from the Law Department of National Taiwan University, but because she didn't like to give up the judicial examination in the end, she became a full-time tutor who was good at getting along with children. Now she has become a full-time author, and her novels have also been adapted into popular Taiwanese dramas. She told everyone with her own personal experience that poverty is not terrible. If you like and love, you can find another way to achieve yourself.
Our children are our children, and our flesh and blood flows on them.
Our children are not our children, let alone our property. They are unique free souls.
Parents are not immutable, they should grow up with their children, but this is simple to say but difficult to do. Parents, in the final analysis, are just mortals with needs and desires.
When we are born, when we touch the soft palm of our child, we will feel satisfied and only seek health, peace and happiness; After school, we began to hope that our children would not fall behind others; After work, we hope our children can get ahead.
Raising children, family happiness, what the hell? Under the banner of "for your own good", we should take care of everything, copy the successful experience of others, pursue the so-called ideal life in the eyes of the world, fulfill the unfinished dreams of our parents, spoil and obey, bully and connive, use both hard and soft, and do everything possible, and go further and further on the road of parenting.
We have forgotten our initial intentions and that "home" should be a warm and safe harbor, not a river's lake with swords and shadows, not a profit-seeking shopping mall, and not a battlefield of life and death.
At the top of the pyramid, there are always only a few people, and there is only one first in a class.
We are driven forward by the rapidly developing society, and we forget the individual differences. Some people are suitable for running, some are suitable for climbing mountains, some are suitable for high jump and long jump, and some are suitable for swimming and playing ball. ...
Willing to take a good road, ordinary can also give birth to surprises and miracles; Helpless, the road is lifeless and hopeless, and no matter how big the will is, it will be smoothed away.
Even if growth is painful, we should continue to grow, change, grow and change ... We should lower our posture, learn to love gently and unconditionally, accept imperfect children, and beware of overexertion; It is necessary to find the right one among thousands of parenting methods, discover the interests and advantages of children, and combine the wishes of children to foster strengths and avoid weaknesses; We should protect them in an all-round way, and learn to let go, from tight to loose, until we watch them fly high.
Our children will eventually become themselves!
As a mother of two children, I feel sunshine every day when I see their innocent smiling faces and hear their outspoken children's words. They are full of curiosity and deep thirst for knowledge about new things, as if growing up under an invisible force. I also seem to have gained strength and full of joy. I watch the sunrise and sunset with them, run together on sunny days, watch the rain when it rains, listen to the sound of the wind when it blows, find its source when the fog comes, and share each other's happiness and troubles every day.
From small to large, stumbling, inevitable roar, anxiety, chicken fly a dog to jump, a mess. But I also learned to introspect and respect my children. Just as they can try and make mistakes, I also made mistakes. We analyze mistakes, encourage each other, seek knowledge and solve doubts in mistakes, and collide in thinking.
Learning and growth is not a sprint, but a marathon, which is a lifetime thing. I want to accompany with my heart, with love and courage, with persistence and trust, to light up the trace of affection in my heart, to know how to express love in the nuances of life, so that children can breathe freely and move forward happily under the nourishment of love and witness each other's growth.