Around June 10, I already felt that my body and mind had entered an unspeakable downturn. I ate western medicine for three or four months, especially during that time, I ate three kinds of western medicine four times a day, and my appetite was greatly reduced from morning till night, and I was bored all over. I feel weak when running. The point is that I haven't found any improvement in my headache. For example, being blown by the store's air conditioner and cutting vegetables by the kitchen window will cause extreme discomfort. Do I really have to leave my hat? I'm going to the hospital again, but I'm really scared. At that time, the epidemic eased. I thought it was time to go back to my hometown, but I learned that the community was blocked due to the epidemic. When can I go home?
I really don't want to eat that western medicine. My brother suggested stopping for a while, and my old classmates also said that we could practice standing piles. Just then, we got the news that our community was quickly unsealed. So I called my wife and asked for his advice: I don't want to go to the hospital, I want to go straight home, but a series of "lessons" came from the receiver: how long have I been exercising? When do you wear a hat? Can you stay at home after you come back? The more you listen to that voice, the more harsh it becomes!
At that time, I was in a bad mood, so I crustily skin of head and went running, but my mind was still stirred by all kinds of messy thoughts, and I felt that my brain was about to jump out of my scalp. I sweated a lot and took a hot bath soon, and I felt even worse, especially my heart. I felt like I was taking a breath, lying in bed and even worried that I would die. The next morning, I seemed to be relieved. Although the situation was no longer suitable for running, I went running to relieve my depression. I just closed the door and found that the corridor was messed up by the old lady next door. I was so angry that I took a video at random. I don't feel relaxed when I run, and my mind is full of all kinds of ideas and things that are not satisfactory. When I came back, the more I looked at the scene in the corridor, the angrier I became. Somehow, I sent the video to my neighbor, but I didn't expect to withdraw it again. I made a mistake and discussed the problem that her mother-in-law left things in the corridor. Not enough brains, not to mention this situation. I immediately felt rude afterwards. Although I said something like "forgive me", I would never do this kind of operation at ordinary times, nor would it cause conflicts between my mother-in-law and my daughter-in-law? I have clearly felt that I am the kind of tough and mean wife, and all kinds of regrets haunt me! So, on the way to see my father, I always take the wrong bus and miss my stop. After discovering that I was not suitable for running, I stayed for another 3 days and sent the video to my wife. I don't know if anger has the upper hand!
A new day, I still find myself doing something wrong. I can never do it. I forgot everything and did something wrong. It will take me twice as long to make up for it. What is wrong with me? At this time, I suddenly found that some protruding varicose veins on my leg after surgery have not recovered. The doctor said that wearing varicose socks would recover. I lost more than 20 Jin when weighing. Obviously, my socks are too loose, so I still run in them. All this really overwhelmed me, so I ordered several pairs of suitable socks according to my current weight. In those days, I have been busy and made mistakes, and I didn't even have time to drink water. My brain has been tense, my throat hurts strangely, and my oral ulcer is getting worse. Just then, my friend came home from the isolation point. She was very excited. She talked to me endlessly through WeChat, especially the "0 days" question in the nucleic acid test results, endlessly doing "arithmetic problems" with me, and constantly making fun of me, while I always took care of other people's emotions, even though I had a splitting headache! When I sat down, I found my legs and feet were cold, and my heart jumped out of my throat with a plop. All kinds of disappointments suddenly came to my mind, and all kinds of harsh voices broke through the eardrum. I can't help asking myself: How did I make so many mistakes? I want to use the head massager my brother gave me to relieve it, but my fingers are stiff and I can't operate it. My mood suddenly collapsed, and I felt that I could do nothing but do everything in reverse! Then close the door and vent. Crying hysterically for a while, laughing for a while, talking to myself for a while, and the whole person really collapsed! I haven't cried or laughed for a long time, but I have always lived for the laughter of others. In short, there was only injustice at that time! However, the remaining reason warned me: you are out of control again, out of control again! How did you come to a dead end this time, because you have been showing people with the attitude of "tolerance", "magnanimity" and "Ah Q"? No, you must adjust your mood at once.
I put the head massager in the box. Since there is nothing I can do at this time, I will put it away for the time being. I can't go home in this situation, so everything at home, including the person who is angry with me, will disappear temporarily; Explain your present situation to your neighbors. Can you explain it clearly? I can't do it at all now, let's talk about it in a few days; I don't need to do nucleic acid at present, and I can't lift this 0-day "lever", so let's put it aside first. I began to sort out the messy things in my mind one by one, and cleared away the ideas that bothered me but could not be solved for the time being. The first step, as long as those thoughts that bother me appear, stop them immediately: I don't have this ability now, I can't do it, and get them out of my mind in time. In the second step, I kept "explaining" myself and gave myself a strong psychological hint: there is nothing wrong with handling this matter by myself, isn't it effective? For example, there are really few things in the corridor; This is understandable and inappropriate. Didn't you inadvertently solve the problem that has plagued you for many years? For example, I used to drink cold water to gain weight ... in this way, the rational one and the other one who got into a dead end talked seriously and comforted me.
While solving my ideological problems, I began to adjust my body, and I really felt that someone was instructing me how to "reassemble my body":
Never lie down when you have some residual strength. If you can't get up, you're finished. Who knows when your son will come back? Besides, I don't want to give him any trouble. First of all, I set up an environment where drinking water, food and warm clothes can be easily touched, because a sip of water can save your life at a critical moment. At present, what I want to solve is the problem of keeping warm in this cold situation. There were spring clothes hanging on the balcony, and I staggered there. Unconsciously wearing three layers of clothes is still very cold. I saw that the thermometer on the wall showed 28℃. Fortunately, there was a chair, and I sat there. A gust of wind blew, and the door shook slightly, but I was extremely scared. Slowly rub back into the living room, even put on cotton slippers wrapped in high heels, and put my son's two folded thick coats on the sofa. Next, I closed all the doors and kept the three rooms at different temperatures. All these have been solved, and suddenly I remember that I spent a long time "reinstalling the system", so I took a pen and paper, but I didn't know how to remember it. Oh, I had a brainwave, and it was the same to turn on the computer. Just look at the boot time after I finish. When I came to another room, before I reached the table, I felt a man sitting on the chair, and I shivered unconsciously. But I still turn on the computer and remind myself to leave my mobile phone here when I close the door, because any sound will give me the willies.
Everything is basically ready. I was exhausted and lying on the sofa in the living room. I found that my heart is still cold and cold. It turns out that "my heart is cold" is this feeling. The wind entering the door feels cold and biting. I feel like I'm in an ice room. Isn't the window frosted? Look carefully again, oh, it turns out that the hot air of the electrified health pot permeates the window. Suddenly, I found a huge strange shadow shaking on the south windowsill. Actually, it's just a shadow spent in the sun. It seems that I have been hallucinating. Facing my "shaken" skeleton, I remind myself that as long as I am alive, I can regroup and relieve all kinds of discomfort! At this point, I really can't move at all. Apart from physical discomfort, all kinds of mental troubles have not been completely alleviated. I've been trying. "Dad." The sweet voice of the girl next door came from my ear. It seems that it is already six or seven o'clock in the evening, and everyone is off work. After a while, there was a thrilling square dance outside the window.
In this way, my eyes kept open and my brain kept turning, and the long night passed. When the first ray of morning light came in, my mind was still confused. Yesterday, the sound of chainsaws during the day and the sound of square dance at night kept echoing in my ears. This should be "auditory hallucination", right? Until the sound of the square dance in the morning recalled me again, I reminded myself: "This sound is true!" And the chainsaw sounds only in the daytime, and so on.
I don't know how long it took, but my fingers moved but I couldn't lift them at all. I can only start with my fingers and toes. Touching my chapped and aching lips, I reminded myself that it was time to drink some water, but I couldn't reach the cup on the coffee table. Although there is only half a glass of water left, there is nothing I can do. Another day, when the little girl next door called her father and the square dance outside jumped up again, it ended. I can also slowly move my body to the coffee table and reach the bananas on it with my weak hands. Touch your heart with your hand, it's not so cold, and your forehead is sweating slightly. The tone that has been in my heart has finally come over, and my mood has stabilized a lot. I even adjusted my facial expression. That when my son came back, he just wondered why I slept on the sofa. I didn't find that I couldn't move under layers of packages and covers. I explained that I was just a little sick. I just went to bed and urged him to go to bed quickly. After he brought me another quilt, he closed the door and went to bed.
At this point, the mental troubles have been completely removed, and I really entered the key stage of the "reloading" project of my body. Because it must be done calmly and undisturbed. Where is the discomfort, what actions should be used, how to coordinate hands and feet, and what posture can be used to relieve the pain there. I have used all the health knowledge I have seen recently. Slowly, I can put one leg on the back of the sofa. I move several sofa cushions from time to time to coordinate the "shaking" skeleton. I'm worried that pushing too hard will lead to a fracture. I just hope my legs are not lame, my hands are not "pulled" and my mouth is not crooked. I lay there, stretching out my hand, lifting my legs, turning my head, moving my shoulders, docking a little, "debugging" the gaps in my head, limbs and trunk, and gradually coordinating other doors. Another long night passed, a new day came and everything went smoothly. I can sit up slowly, try to stand up again, and even walk slowly with something. I can't restrain my inner excitement: I'm really reborn! I moved to the front of the computer: "The computer has been used for 1 day for 23 hours and 27 minutes", and the time changed from June of 15 to June of 17, which was the time for me to "reinstall the system" on the sofa. For two days and two nights, I survived with my eyes open, a banana and half a glass of water.
When my son appeared in the living room again, I could tell him calmly that I had installed a self-esteem system. In the next two days, I will probably need a reinstalled body system to adapt, and I am weak. I need my son to cook me a sick meal. On the third day, I told him that I should leave and I could take care of myself. When I left home again, it was already a week.
Since then, I have turned on the computer many times to inquire: Can people really reinstall the system? But I didn't find anything. But I do feel that I was instructed in advance. What happened to my experience? Where did the information that guided me come from? But it doesn't seem to matter, because I really benefited from it. Perhaps it was that glimmer of hope that guided me through that dangerous period, when people were on the verge of emotional and physical collapse. Think about everything you have endured for more than a year: headache, varicose vein surgery, followed by headache, palpitation and palpitation. Plus all kinds of stories that dad interprets from time to time, oh, there are all kinds of negative emotions. Can all this be solved simply by drugs?
"There is no strict age limit for menopausal syndrome. It appears at the lowest point of your health. " Judging from the doctor's explanation to me, menopausal syndrome also gave me a god assist. Fortunately, I can face everything calmly at present. When I felt that I actually needed to find a psychiatrist more, I implemented "self-help". In fact, some things are not what I think, such as my wife. When I was sulking, people were naive and didn't know what was going on. Because in his eyes I will always be an "iron man" and an optimist. Since you have always been proud of "self-reliance", don't assume what others should do, let alone punish yourself with this assumption. Actually, what are those "hard feelings" today? No wonder so many people suffer from anxiety and depression.
Now, I can do whatever I want, don't care what others think, and I won't be wronged by others. No more tasteless quarrels, no more looking for anger. I will let my mind selectively receive information, stop thinking, feel more stable and sleep more securely.
Finally, I sorted out this special experience, which may be used in the future. I'm in my sixth year. In this special eventful autumn, mental health and physical health are equally important. Besides taking good care of your body, you should also adjust your mood in time. My experience shows that people can really reinstall their systems, both physically and emotionally. Only without external interference and the influence of others can we create a healthy physical and spiritual world for our old age.