There is a small supermarket in my neighborhood. His baby is a very naughty boy, belonging to that kind of particularly active personality. Originally, many children were playing harmoniously in the square of the community. As long as the boys in the supermarket run over, they will blow sand. Either he came up to grab the children's toys, or he bullied the baby. His mother was often found by his parents.

Mother often sighs that her son is naughty, disobedient and helpless. In fact, this male treasure is not so naughty. He just wants to attract everyone's attention in various ways, especially to get his mother's attention before making some practical jokes, because his mother is busy selling goods in the supermarket every day, swiping her mobile phone to play games when she has time, and has little time to communicate with her children.

Adler, the famous founder of individual psychology, mentioned in "Children's Personality Education": "Children have been pursuing development, greatness, perfection and superior prospects since birth, which is unconsciously formed, but it has always existed."

Babies have a safe attachment when they are 0-3 years old. When they are unhappy, they will cry and be disobedient, so they will seek a sense of security. After the child is 3 years old, with the sense of autonomy, the sense of belonging will also change, and he will have his own ideas about people and things.

For example, some babies especially like to reach out and hit people. The more parents stop it, the more children will try their best to reach out and grab two hands on their faces. Some parents specifically tell their babies not to touch pets such as cats and dogs, but children will run after pets and hug them, or deliberately kick their feet, which is the result of the development of children's self-awareness.

How should parents deal with their children's problems?

First, control your temper.

The children in the neighborhood are very naughty and always make some small mistakes. His father said that he felt a little uncontrollable and wouldn't listen to anything. In the past, every time a child made a mistake, he would reprimand him and beat him up. After hitting the child, he was very scared and realized it well for a while. But it has not worked at all recently, and the same mistake will happen again soon. With the growth of children's age, play can't play an educational role at all, and effective methods must be found to solve the problem.

Parents control their temper. Carnegie, a famous interpersonal master, once said: "Criticism is useless, because the criticized person will only try his best to excuse himself;" Criticism is dangerous, because it will hurt others' precious self-esteem, destroy their self-esteem, and even cause resentment. "

When children make mistakes, parents will criticize them first and then reprimand them. If not, they will choose to do it. Parents criticize the baby with emotion, even beat him, and consider the child's feelings. This will have a great impact on children's psychology and physiology, and even lead to children's anxiety, sensitivity and inferiority. Parents should control their temper, turn around more when they are in a bad mood, don't yell at their children, and then slowly solve the problem when both sides are stable.

Second, from the children's point of view, listen to their voices.

As the saying goes, "Naughty girls make perfect, naughty boys make excellent". Parents should face up to their children's naughty behavior and pay attention to their inner world. Many times, children's mischief is a manifestation of creativity and imagination. Don't dampen their enthusiasm for innovation. Parents should put themselves in their children's shoes, let them know your concern, and give them trust and encouragement. Of course, this does not mean that naughty children are ignored. If the child's naughty behavior involves safety and moral issues, it is necessary to set rules for the child and put forward certain reasonable requirements to help the child make changes.

Third, deliberately ignore the child's naughty behavior.

This is psychobehavioral therapy. Simply put, it is to deliberately ignore or ignore the child's naughty behavior. This dilution method can cool children's enthusiasm for some bad behaviors. A mother said that her daughter deliberately poured water on the doll. Before pouring water, she would shout, Mom, I want to pour water! Mother's first reaction, of course, is to stop and tell her children not to pour water casually. The daughter actually smiled and poured water for the doll, which was even more joyful. The second time, the girl raised her cup and shouted, Mom, I want to pour water for the doll. Mom is cooking in the kitchen, pretending not to hear, and there is no intention of turning back at all. The little girl ignored herself when she saw her mother. I put the cup on the table and angrily said it was not funny, so I ran back to my room to read the picture book.

Parents adopt the method of cold treatment, and children will feel that adults don't pay much attention to themselves, which makes them feel boring. They will take the initiative to give up the practice of making trouble and eventually guide their children to correct their behavior.