Until that night this summer, the children in Grade Two couldn't finish the homework assigned by the teacher. At 2 o'clock in the morning, they finally broke out, scraped the textbooks from the desk to the ground, and then began to tear up homework, especially the math problems that could not be solved. Tear it into pieces and scatter it along the gap in the bay window.
At that moment, I knew that my child was defeated, and as a mother, I was devastated. On the one hand, it is the pressure of study, on the other hand, the healthy growth of children, homework can not be finished, the teacher must call parents the next day, and as a mother, I have been to the teacher's office many times. When you get there, it's nothing more than children's inattention, sleeping in class, drawing cartoons on textbooks, not carefully examining the questions, and not doing what the teacher asks.
To be honest, being a mother can be really frustrating sometimes. Why are your children so difficult to manage and so disturbing?
Until that day, the child said on the way back from school, "mom, I don't want to be called a parent, it will make you lose face." I know you are a face-saving person. "
I pretended to answer her easily: "Face is worth a few dollars. As long as you study hard, my mother will lose face on the ground. There is nothing to be afraid of. "
The child is silent, I know she cares.
Seriously, as myself, I am a perfectionist, and I have high demands on myself and others, so that my father will say that I am autocratic and heartless several times. Children will also think that I am very controlling and do everything according to my requirements.
Once at dinner, I cooked her favorite cola chicken wings and Chili eggs, as well as her favorite tomato and egg dumplings. The child may be excited. That night, our mother and daughter talked a lot.
The child said: Mom, don't treat me like a child who knows nothing. I want to grow up when I grow up. I have my own ideas. You take care of everything, and one day you will make me a "giant baby".
At that moment, I was suddenly surprised. As far as I know, a child who wants to ask his mother for help in everything speaks like an adult.
Then the child began to say that her classmate's mother hardly cared about the child, and the child's grades were not so good. And which of her classmates' parents can completely put down their airs and take their children with them for company.
At the end of dinner, the child asked me to be a "Buddhist" mother.
I promised my children, but I didn't do it myself. I always cross the border as a mother to guide their lives. Sometimes children will yell at me when they are bored: "Is there a mother like you?" I have to take care of everything, you are bored to death! "
Yes, the behavior of children is really a mirror of myself. When she is angry, my behavior must have angered her. On the other hand, I have a bad memory. If I make a mistake in this respect, I will never learn to distance myself from my child and learn to respect her.
I saw a story that day about a mother who had a bad relationship with adolescent children. Every day, she was angry. One day, the child couldn't stand it and never spoke to her again. Mother cried and said to the psychiatrist, "am I easy?" I love him so much that everything is for his own good. Why doesn't he understand? "
The doctor said, "You are only controlling him in the name of love. How rebellious your children are, how authoritarian you are. " . If you don't seriously reflect on yourself and continue like this, the relationship between your child and you will get farther and farther. "
Mother asked the doctor what she should do. The doctor asked her, "Who do you usually get along with best?"
Mother said shamefully, "My colleague."
The doctor said: then you should start with your children as colleagues.
Children especially like drawing, especially animation. Sometimes they will be obsessed with every tiny moment in life, and she will improvise with a pen wherever they can draw. If you open her textbook, there will be little cartoons on almost every page, even if it is just a few simple lines or a vivid look.
When I called my parents before, my child's teacher complained a lot about her drawing in the textbook. When I know, I will interfere with her and criticize her when I come back. I think she goes to school, painting is painting, learning is the first element, and painting is just a hobby.
But later, I happened to see Zhu Deyong, a famous cartoonist in Taiwan Province, saying that he suffered from autism and learning disabilities when he was a child. Even when he was in middle school, he kept changing schools because of his poor study, and even the worst school was unwilling to accept him.
But his parents never blamed him for it. What his father did most was to find a blank piece of paper and sew it into a booklet so that he could draw on it at will. So that Zhu Deyong, who later became famous, would say: If painting is the only glimmer of light, then his father is the one who cares for this glimmer of light.
Stars on the Earth tells the story of a child with learning disabilities, Isa. After repeating the third grade, his grades in all subjects were still zero, and people around him didn't like him very much. It was not until he met Nick, an art teacher at boarding school that Isa's life really began to shine.
Fortunately, my child has not reached the point of learning disabilities, but her math performance has not been very ideal, which has caused her great trouble and pressure. Under normal circumstances, children with poor math scores will think that they usually brush less questions. Therefore, for this reason, the teacher will assign more questions to some students with relatively poor grades but potential.
Of course, the teacher's original intention was good, but the children had to passively accept it, so they spent almost every night brushing math problems until that summer night, and the children couldn't stand it any longer.
That is the phenomenon at the beginning of the article. Seriously, at that moment, I was shocked and impatient. I was shocked by her performance. I can't help her myself. Even if she was given a tutor at the weekend, there was a lot of homework every night, which made the children miserable.
Two years ago, I would criticize her, but now I finally won't. Because I have been with her, I know where her study pressure comes from.
I went over and took her hand and walked out of her room.
Then, we came to the balcony. At 2 am, there are some lonely stars in the sky outside the window. The breeze blew in from the window, and the jasmine on the balcony smelled fragrant. Green leaves are hung on the green radish and chlorophytum, and some roses have just blossomed beautifully.
I took out a few small toys from the study that arrived early but never had time to play, put them together with the child to find its nose and body, and then put them on the drawing board one by one.
After about half an hour, the child's mood began to calm down. A man walked into the room, picked up the books on the floor one by one, and carefully taped the paper that had just been torn off when he was angry.
When sleeping, he said to me, "mom, don't wake me up early on the last day of tomorrow's weekend." I want to sleep in. "
Author: Wen Jing from the media