The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, but there are always ways to solve it. Not all mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be tit for tat, and the abacus will be pulled on themselves. Everyone will be a little selfish, but more ordinary people will have empathy. Even if you pay less, you won't expect the other person's bad.
What's more, the mother-in-law is also a mother. For the sake of her son, she would also like her son and daughter-in-law to have a smooth marriage.
We often say that the best mother-in-law is to talk less and do more, express less opinions on her son's marriage, give the right to speak to her daughter-in-law and remain "semi-retired".
Shakespeare said, "There will be a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people", and different people will have different feelings about marriage. My mother-in-law has experienced many ups and downs in her life in Qian Fan, and she also has her own unique views on the marriage of her son and daughter-in-law.
Then, "Talk less and do more, can you get the peace of your son's marriage?" Next, let's listen to the truth about third mother-in-law. Through self-analysis, their words revealed the way to get along with their daughter-in-law. From the experience of "semi-retirement", we explained how much role "less talk and more action" played in our son's marriage.
0 1. Qiu Meilan, 62 years old, her son and daughter-in-law have been married for 8 years.
Aunt Qiu speaks cleanly, without any nonsense. As soon as she came up, she said directly, "When my son gets married, I will pay 500,000 yuan in one hand, and I promise not to bother me in the future."
She thinks that her son and daughter-in-law are far from dying, and she gave her son 500 thousand before marriage. As for how to buy a wedding room and how to live in the future, he can do it himself.
Don't interfere too much. It is also Aunt Qiu's wish to participate in her son's marriage. She hopes her son can learn to grow up from marriage. More importantly, she hopes that her semi-retirement from her son's life will make her daughter-in-law more free in marriage.
Aunt Qiu also paid for her daughter-in-law's confinement. She said, "A daughter-in-law is not a son. If she doesn't serve well, she will get into trouble. It is better to give money quietly. "
Aunt Qiu has always insisted on talking less and doing more about her son's understanding of marriage. She can take money to solve it and never say anything. As for how to handle it, let her daughter-in-law decide.
Others think that she doesn't go with her son and daughter-in-law, and she doesn't care. In fact, she said it was good. Her son and daughter-in-law visit her every week, and the daughter-in-law praises her mother-in-law for being kind to everyone.
02. Wang Zhenying, 68, married his son and daughter-in-law for the second time.
Aunt Wang brought up her son's marriage, which was a bitter tear. She said that she was widowed in her early years, and her son was in poor health and had been spoiled. Her son has taken care of everything since he was a child, and she really doesn't trust him to face it alone.
However, this idea finally seriously affected his son's first marriage. Aunt Wang said that she was also out of kindness. Whenever there is trouble in the son's marriage, such as two people quarreling, whether to have children, what car to buy and so on. She wants to participate.
According to Aunt Wang's own statement, she is just "giving advice". But it is such kindness that it has done bad things. She thinks that her son and daughter-in-law have contradictions and can be judged as elders, but in fact her son's ex-wife doesn't buy it at all.
The ex-wife believes that her mother-in-law's excessive interference in her marriage has made her feel a kind of bondage and unspeakable injustice. This led to more resentment, and finally the marriage with my son broke up. After the divorce, my ex-wife took the children away. Every time I think of my grandson Aunt Wang, I cry sadly.
So in her son's second marriage, she learned the last lesson and controlled her concern and prejudice for her son. Even if something serious happened between them, she wouldn't interfere as before. Only when they take the initiative to ask for help will she appear and help as much as possible.
Aunt Wang said that she has a retirement salary and has been separated from her son. She doesn't have to look at her daughter-in-law's face. Therefore, for her son's remarriage, she will no longer tell them what to do, and let them do everything themselves. I just played a supporting role. After all, her son is really in trouble, and she can't ignore it.
Luo is 59 years old. Her son and daughter-in-law have been married for five years.
Aunt Luo also has only one son, but she said that her marriage with her son and daughter-in-law also experienced the same experience from wanting to participate in everything to gradually letting go.
Daughter-in-law is a girl from 1993. She is independent and has her own ideas. She and Aunt Luo are diametrically opposed in character, preferring quietness to liveliness.
Aunt Luo has been living with her son and daughter-in-law since the house was demolished. Because my son just got married and hasn't adapted psychologically, he talks a lot every day. Because of this, the daughter-in-law has a dissatisfied mood.
Later, my daughter-in-law had a long talk with her, and she also learned that young people nowadays really don't like too much interference from their parents. The kindness she thinks is superfluous to them, because they are all adults and they will have their own judgments about everything.
Aunt Luo realized from her daughter-in-law's words that the most peaceful way to get along with the younger generation is to talk less and do more, or do nothing, as long as you don't interfere too much with the young couple's affairs.
Therefore, the daughter-in-law took a new moon after pregnancy. As a mother-in-law, she just helps as much as possible. She never puts forward her views on how to raise children and how to confinement, and everything is according to the young couple's meaning.
Aunt Luo felt that during the five years with her daughter-in-law, she finally found a way to make both of them comfortable, which also made her son breathe a sigh of relief.
The "semi-seclusion" of mother-in-law in the marriage of son and daughter-in-law is a kind of wisdom.
The first three mothers-in-law accepted the practice of "talking less and doing more" in their son's marriage to varying degrees. "Semi-retirement" is not a real retirement, but a kind of wisdom to learn to let go.
As Aunt Luo's daughter-in-law said, they are all adults and have their own analysis and calculation. What kind of marriage suits them and what way they choose to steer the ship of marriage is their own business.
There is an invisible line outside marriage. A strong mother-in-law can help, or it's not bad to be a bystander. Crossing that line to interfere in the affairs of sons and daughters-in-law will not only deprive them of the right to speak in marriage, but also destroy the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law if it is not handled well.
Therefore, talking less and doing more is actually maintaining a balance, which not only maintains the balance in the son's marriage, but also leaves a way out for himself, leaving no excuses for others and not being criticized. The old man is willing to fall behind his son and daughter-in-law. It is undoubtedly the best choice to achieve family harmony in this way.
Concealed but not blind, retreating without asking. Thoughts from the heart can be turned into blessings for the marriage of sons and daughters-in-law with practical actions, which is a kind of happy practice.