You find that your husband has suddenly changed his dressing style recently, and his mobile phone never leaves his hand, visiting friends in the shower and occasionally smirking at the screen of his mobile phone; As a woman's sixth sense, you think there must be something wrong. Even you can't help but check his mobile phone and find that there is a lot of content to chat with a female colleague, but there is no evidence of cheating by selling a hammer. I don't know if it should be broken. Broken, worried that the other party will fight back, worried that the problem will not be solved, and also deepened the contradiction between the two people, worried that the other party will bully themselves and intensify.

My point is, we must pierce the problem, face the problem squarely and solve it actively, otherwise it will be more difficult to solve it if raw rice is cooked into mature rice. How to lead in a positive direction and let the other side cooperate to solve the problem. Your communication attitude is very important; And your communication attitude depends on how you look at it;

If this part is understood clearly, the direction of the negotiations will not be wrong. Ask yourself, what is your first reaction when something happens? Think her husband has no sense of morality and responsibility? Is there a problem with the three views? Or do you think that the little girl is too shameless now, knowing that others have husbands, but also posting them, there is no moral bottom line? Or self-attack, thinking that you must have done something wrong.

When you get older, have wrinkles on your face and have a bad figure, will your husband be attracted to little girls? Different reactions actually represent a person's different attribution style, and also determine your communication attitude with the other party, affecting the future development trend of things. When doing marriage counseling at ordinary times, women usually have three reactions when they meet an ambiguous husband.

My first reaction was that it was my husband's problem:

This is natural, after all, his ambiguous behavior with others will make us feel very hurt, full of disappointment and anger, and think that he has a problem, which is also an instinct of self-protection; If he has a problem, I must find a way to protect myself. I can't trust him casually in case I get hurt again. Communicating with your husband from this angle, your communication posture must be "accusatory": why are you so irresponsible? Do you deserve me? Why do you want to be caring and attentive to others? What's your relationship?

This gesture will make her husband feel attacked, and his instinct is to protect himself. He either evaded the important or said, "It's just colleagues. We didn't do anything. You always make a mountain out of a molehill!" Two people attacked each other, trying to prove that they were good people. Not only can they not solve the problem, but they will further destroy their feelings and give outsiders an opportunity.

The second reaction, think it's a third party's problem:

Such friends often dare not face up to the problems in marriage and think that the husband is ambiguous because the women outside are too scheming to seduce him. As everyone knows, no matter what women outside do, your husband actually has the right to choose. He can refuse each other's approach, or he can manage himself and not respond to each other emotionally.

They became ambiguous because he gave each other a chance. If your eyes have been fixed on the third party, the communication attitude towards your husband must be the woman who "interrupted". A look is a fox, not a serious woman. She doesn't want to ask you for money. If you have nothing, she won't talk to you.

This gesture is beyond the feelings with her husband. There is a clear gap between you, but you turn a blind eye, stare at women outside, and even spend a lot of energy investigating women's situation, abusing each other or taking revenge, and even negotiating with each other. As we all know, if your husband doesn't realize the responsibility he needs to bear, if you hit this person, there will be a second and a third.

The third reaction

This is self-attack. Such friends are often very insecure and unloving. They are emotionally swayed by considerations of gain and loss and are prone to self-doubt. When you encounter problems, you must first reflect on your own reasons. Is it because I am too strong to dress up and have no charm that my husband will have an affair with other women? With such fear and self-doubt, the communication gesture in the face of her husband must be "please": What have I done wrong, are you going to do this to me? If you have any complaints about me, you say it and I'll change it. Conflict, what kind of quarrel, how bad the other party's performance is.

But in fact, in order to really solve the problem of ambiguity, our attention should be placed before ambiguity. You got along before the affair, which led to each other's ambiguous behavior. Only by thinking in this way can we fundamentally solve the ambiguous problem.

The most common problems before extramarital affairs are:

1, emotional disharmony, resulting in emotional needs can not be met in marriage;

2, the border is unclear, which leads to the husband's lack of respect for his wife, and it is nothing to feel embarrassed or even derailed. He is not afraid;

3, there is no bottom line thinking, there is no communication with the bottom line in marriage, what can't be done resolutely, what will happen if it is done? Only when these problems are solved can you fundamentally put an end to cheating. A wife must learn to draw a line for her husband and let him know what she will pay if she cheats, so that he will really pay attention to this matter. I hope everyone can grasp the main points of dealing with this kind of problem and don't do it in vain.