Marriage is a kind of practice, and a good marriage is the practice of two people. Marriage and love are not the same thing after all. Love depends more on passion, while marriage is a long-distance running.

Many people step into marriage and suddenly find that their sweet words and care for each other have been washed away by the cruel reality.

As a result, many people began to complain, reprimand, and even looked at each other, as if they were separated from each other and were strangers to strange bedfellows. And those who didn't get out of the running-in period of marriage chose to bid farewell to each other's resentment and harm by divorce.

As Shakespeare said, "an unhappy marriage is like hell, and there will be no peace for a lifetime;" On the contrary, if you choose a satisfactory spouse, you will be harmonious and happy for a hundred years. "

We need to take care of this long road of practice. Two strangers got married because they fell in love. However, when all the passions recede, when the sweet words, warm and attractive romance fade away in love, marriage begins to return to dullness.

Many couples don't even want to sleep in the same bed with each other in the middle, so they have lived a "separated" life for decades.

They are strangers in marriage, and "separation" will not only affect their emotional life, but also affect the harmony of a family.

Xiaomei told me that my husband and I got married and then slept in separate rooms. It was only ten years before we became close.

Xiaomei is an old friend of mine. She got married on 4 1 and 3 1 this year. Xiaomei met her current husband on a blind date, and her husband is three years older than her.

In the early days of love, Xiaomei and her husband had a good relationship. Her husband is a very considerate person, and Xiaomei is very gentle. Plus, they are not young, so after a year of dating, they got married.

When she got married, her husband held her hand and promised to be kind to her all her life.

02

Xiaomei is a woman who yearns for family. She delayed getting married until she was so old because she had a bad relationship with her parents. Xiaomei doesn't want to follow in their footsteps, so she is very cautious when choosing a spouse.

Xiaomei believes that her husband must really love herself, so after marriage, Xiaomei quit her job and chose to devote herself to her family. She wants to be a good wife.

Every day when her husband comes home from work, Xiaomei will meet him at the door and give him a big hug. They have endless words every day. Xiaomei knows what her husband likes to eat, and her husband knows what clothes Xiaomei likes. In their spare time, they also travel together. At first, their marriage was really happy.

However, this kind of life only lasted for two years, and the contradiction began after Mei Sheng finished her child.

Like many pregnant women, Xiaomei is particularly unstable during pregnancy. Sometimes when her husband comes back late after working overtime, Xiaomei thinks that her husband has gone out to play with other women. As long as her husband speaks louder, Xiaomei thinks that her husband dislikes her and deliberately yells at her.

Although her husband patiently explained to her, she still wouldn't listen, and finally persisted until the baby was born, but the real contradiction began.

Xiaomei has no mother-in-law. Her mother is still planting a few acres of land at home, and she can't get away for a while. Xiaomei Yuezi is not taken care of. Xiaomei had to bring her own. She is a mother for the first time and has no experience. She doesn't know how many times the child has been ill. Fortunately, her husband found out in time. For this reason, her husband also blamed her many times and felt that she could not even be a mother.

The relationship between husband and wife is often tense because of some small things.

Xiaomei, who gave birth to a child, spends more time on the child. Xiaomei, who used to dress up all day, now pays little attention to her image.

Once a woman begins to pay no attention to her image, then men will gradually lose interest in her.

03

Xiaomei thought her husband would understand her, because it's really not easy to take care of children, but she didn't expect her husband to ridicule her again and again. Her husband often comes back late, either working overtime or going out with friends, but he just doesn't want to go home.

When the child was three years old, Xiaomei was 37 years old. Xiaomei saw that all the parents around her had enrolled their children in various interest classes and wanted to enroll them in one. When she consulted her husband, he said, "If you don't make money every day, you will know how to spend it. I don't agree. "

Xiaomei didn't say much, but at the moment, she understood a truth. If a woman wants to have a place at home, she must learn to make money.

So, she used the bride price money given by her husband at that time to sign up for a preschool class for her children, so that she also had time to go out to work. Xiaomei found a job as a clerk. The salary is not high, but at least she can afford the children's study expenses.

However, the contradiction between Xiaomei and her husband has not been alleviated. Xiaomei, who has a job, becomes stronger in life. Sometimes her husband says she will go back.

In recent years, her husband has always had the habit of snoring. Xiaomei used to sleep well, and even if she snored loudly, it basically wouldn't affect her. However, after Xiaomei gave birth to a child, the quality of sleep has been declining, and it is easy to wake up at the slightest sign of trouble.

Every time I sleep, Xiaomei wakes my husband up when he snores. At night, Xiaomei almost kicked her husband several times. The husband said, "This snoring is beyond my control. If you kick me like this again, I will be kicked to death sooner or later. "

But Xiaomei couldn't hear snoring, so she had to sleep separately.

Husband sleeps in the other bedroom, and Xiaomei sleeps with the children. Many times, the weakening of the relationship between husband and wife starts from the sub-bureau. In this way, Xiaomei and her husband have continued this marriage model. Like husband and wife during the day, like roommates at night, there is no communication between husband and wife.

Sometimes two people always say less than ten sentences a day, and occasionally say a little more, which is just family chores and things related to children. They no longer communicate each other's feelings, and they don't want to talk to each other about any problems at work.

04

Later, when the children started primary school, Xiaomei also put more energy into her work. I don't have time to go home and cook when I am busy, and my husband doesn't care. Xiaomei didn't cook, so she went out to eat with her friends. The children have eaten several times in the neighbor's house.

Xiaomei thinks that her husband is in charge of this family business, but her husband is used to this kind of clothes, and it's no use letting Xiaomei talk about it.

If she asks her husband blindly, he won't agree, and the child will suffer in the end.

They haven't slept together since they slept in separate beds. Even if there was a little friction before, it disappeared the next day. The so-called fight at the end of the bed, but now, Xiaomei and her husband are angry almost every day.

Xiaomei chose to stay in this fragmented marriage for the sake of her children. Finally, Xiaomei said, "It only took me ten years from intimacy at the beginning to sleeping in separate rooms later."

In fact, Xiaomei is just a microcosm of most families in marriage. Many people, like Xiaomei, had a good relationship at first, then started quarreling over some trivial matters, and then separated. In the end, the relationship between the two people was particularly embarrassing, and there was no home at all.

For many middle-aged couples, for the sake of parents and children, they always choose to continue to endure in this marriage, and compromise is common.

Middle-aged couples are helpless when they encounter problems. No one faces it together, so we have to carry it ourselves.

In fact, marriage needs two people to protect each other, and every member in marriage has the responsibility and obligation to safeguard the happiness of this family.

The worst situation between husband and wife is that there is no way to communicate. No matter which side closes itself up, it is impossible to communicate with each other.

Keep calm, communicate with each other, stand in each other's position to understand and look at problems, and many problems will be solved.

Communication between husband and wife is the most basic way to maintain marriage. Even a small thing in love will be blindly exaggerated in the imagination of both sides. Once small things keep gathering, there will be cracks in feelings, leading to the gradual demise of marriage.