The child is almost 4 years old, and he poops his pants almost every day. He usually speaks well and never wets the bed when he sleeps. He went to the hospital for examination and said it was all right. Anal stage (about 2-4 years old): Freud called the second stage of psychological structure development "anal stage", which obviously linked psychological development with physiological function development. 1 year-old children are generally trained to urinate. With the development of sphincter, children can control their own defecation to a certain extent, and the accumulation of defecation causes strong muscle contraction. When defecation passes through the anus, the mucosa produces a strong sense of irritation, which is not only uncomfortable, but also brings high pleasure. In addition, defecation has other important significance for babies. For a baby, defecation is a part of his body, and defecation is equivalent to making a "contribution" or giving a "gift". Moreover, through defecation, he can express his positive obedience to the environment, and when he holds it, he expresses his refusal to yield. Therefore, from the nature of the relationship between subject and object, defecation has become a tool for children to maintain their relationship with parents or adults in a certain sense, and children feel that it can affect the people and environment around them to some extent. During this period, the binary relationship between mother and child gradually began to collapse.

Anal desire period, also called anal period in Freud's psychology, describes that children have passed the oral sex desire period and feel the novelty brought by stimulating anus when they are about 18 to 36 months old. During this time, you will find that you will produce feces and you will be very excited. At this time, it is time for parents to teach their children to go to the toilet. If children are not satisfied in the anal period, it is easy to develop anal personality when they grow up, such as being stingy, stubborn, stubborn and neat.

Freud believes that this is the second period of human growth, and then it will come to the stage of sexual germination.

After the child learns to take off his pants and urinate, he repeatedly holds back his stool or urinates in the crotch, which is the performance of the child's anal desire period. During the anal period, the contraction and relaxation of anal and urethral sphincter can bring sexual experience to children. So some children get sexual pleasure from holding their urine, and some children get sexual pleasure from holding their stools. However, not every child has a very obvious anal desire.

The anorectal period of a child usually ends in about two months, which shows that the child's sexual psychology is moving towards the next stage-reproductive period. In these two months, if adults train children to urinate too severely, children will feel nervous and have great psychological pressure, which will disrupt their natural rhythm of controlling urination. The more times a child wets his pants, the longer the anorectal period will be delayed. Some children have not ended their anal desire for several months or even more than half a year, and their sexual development has stagnated.

Children's performance in anal period is varied. How should parents handle their children's anal period?

After wetting your pants

My daughter is two years and eight months old. She has been holding back her urine since last month. Every time she holds her urine, she is very nervous. Her face was red, her legs were between her legs, and she wrapped her ass and said she had to pee. After I took her to the toilet, she couldn't pee, and she peed her pants in the blink of an eye. At most, she wets her pants five times a day. Is this the sexual feeling when her leg is swollen? I've often lost my temper with her these days, and I always think she's annoying. Yesterday, she shit in her pants. I don't think the baby is just a matter of wetting his pants. She feels a little behind in everything. The most obvious thing is that she calls me "I'm little BB" all day, lying on the ground and letting me hug her. She is very sticky to me. She wants to sit in my arms and ask me to feed her when eating. It seems to be about the same time as when she started to hold her urine. I can't stand it!

Because parents don't know the performance of their children in anorectal period, they are very angry about the phenomenon that their children pee their pants or defecate in their crotch. They think that the child is disobedient, deliberately mischievous or playful, and unwilling to go to the toilet, so they start to beat and scold the child in an attempt to let the child end this situation. The parents' beating and cursing has led to the children's intensified "revenge"-more frequent urination of pants or defecation in the crotch. When children can't stand the pressure from their parents, they will shrink back. For example, the girl in the story called "I am a little BB" all day, lying on the ground and asking her mother to hug her, sitting in her arms while eating and asking her to feed her. This is the way for children to seek self-protection. She wants to go back to childhood, when she peed her pants and her mother wouldn't beat and scold her. Children's retreat and resistance are the reaction of unbearable pressure and inner struggle.

When a child shows anal desire, the most sensible thing for parents is to tell the child calmly and gently: Baby, this is not a problem, and mom will put on clean pants for you. All members of the family should have such an attitude: they should not humiliate, laugh at or scold their children, they should not speak in front of them, and they should not take their children's wet pants as family talk.