1. The man changed his mind and forgot the promise of marriage. These two people have no intention to manage their marriage. 3. I want to control my husband, but I am drifting away from each other. Well, no matter which answer, I don't think women have made it clear that "men and women have very different views on marriage" and "loyalty to their own lives" are the hidden rules that restricted women's three obedience and four virtues in the old society. Men don't seem to be under this statute, so it's hard to compare with the man who has always regarded marriage as a function-oriented way to complete the "five children graduation". In divorce cases, 80% is put forward by the woman rather than the man. Relatively speaking, 80% of men are reluctant to divorce no matter how coquettish they are outside. This means that the "victim complex" imagined by women is the main reason why many marriages are unsustainable, and extramarital affairs may only be the tipping point. As for the woman who tries too hard to be a good wife and mother after marriage, she is either a cook who is busy grasping her stomach in order to grasp her heart, or a sloppy nanny who is immersed in diapers and bottles, and has completely broken the line with her classmates, colleagues and close friends, while men are full of energy and focus on their careers, and the confidante outside is much more attractive. When a woman is not married, men usually don't take the initiative to realize what is wrong, but once they think with their lower body, they will naturally cheat, and they don't need to think too much. Worst of all, a woman calls at least once a day, turning her husband's mobile phone into a "Grenade", completely forgetting the common desire of men to "find freedom after marriage". If a woman wants to control a man, her hysterical emotions will bring great pressure to the other person and make him escape to another emotional circle, which is often a compensatory behavior of men. 1. Cognitive emotions and passions are fluid, so smart women will know which is more important to marriage and will not fall into the monistic logic of "marriage = commitment+loyalty". At the same time, I also give myself space, and I don't rule out the opportunity to meet my "blue confidante", so that I can face my husband's "desertion" calmly, and I don't need psychological imbalance, and I don't need to torture myself with this shame. 3. Women should never find a bunch of reasons to say that 10 years of emotional persistence or sacrifice of children can not be separated from this marriage, rather than sincerely facing it. You should know what your self-position is in marriage, that is, men change and remain unchanged, and don't let women be in a state of "tasteless food, but a pity to abandon it". If you want this marriage, accept the man who came back from an affair, otherwise, you can leave gracefully and find your own horizon. Set him free and set the bottom line. If I had heard this three years ago, I would have denounced the man's freewheeling, resented the woman's generosity, and finally sulked angrily at myself: "Why can't I safeguard the marriage justice in the world like a knight?" But now, I will only nod and smile gently and forget the grievances. An affair, where can it not happen? I have stayed in the marriage castle with the same woman for decades, and the love that is better than Jin Jian will be polished away by the years. It is understandable to smell the flowers occasionally. Why do you have to push? Yi Shu has long said: "It is cruel to think about forcing a good man into a husband." So, as an advertisement said, "accept him, have him and set him free." Men are like big children, they need to be spoiled, coaxed and occasionally playful, but they always go home when they are tired of playing. Moreover, if calculated by the most scientific statistical method, the man who is having an affair has a tendency to return to 100%, so the man finally left because the woman pushed him away. In the past, women cried and hanged themselves three times, and later swore to defend their reputation. Although times have changed and women have grown up, they still lack intelligence in essence. Even if you take a million dollars, or if you are relaxed and free, how can you win without a hard-earned home? Therefore, an impulsive decision may be a temporary pleasure, but it has to bear the pain for a lifetime-just like dysmenorrhea, it can only be relieved, not cured. Set him free. To put it bluntly, we should learn to lie. Zhang Ailing has long said: "Women can get royalties by making up a story casually, and all women will get rich." Lies can comfort people or masturbate, and women who live in lies are happy. You tell yourself that he came back late because he was busy at work, that he didn't have sex for too long because he was tired at work, that his socialization was a precursor to his promotion step by step, and that his frequent hesitation about you was an alternative expression of his deep love ... When more and more lies were told, you began to believe that it was true. Living between day and night, he feels more and more complicated. He can't understand why you are so calm, why you seem to have nothing happened in the face of changes, and why you still believe him as firmly as when you first got married. Also, why do you suddenly become more independent and attractive, so that he can't give up easily? So, in the end, you will still be the winner, because your silent power and unchanging power are far greater than arguments, confessions and even pillow traps. If you want to practice this skill well, you must have enough theories to support yourself. Since ancient times, men have been thinking with their lower bodies, and the probability of derailment is naturally much greater than that of women. And men's things are mostly naughty that only love flowers but not fruit. No wonder there is the word "derailment". Actually, it's not a woman's fault that a man has an affair. They just stayed in the castle for a long time and wanted to get some air, so they slipped away smelling the fragrance. But no matter how fragrant and beautiful the flowers are outside, they still don't want to be a butterfly that loves flowers, because flowers can only be pleasing to the eye, but they can't keep fit. Once they are tired of wandering outside, they will naturally miss the warmth of home and come back with your taste. Therefore, smart wives all have one thing in common, that is, they are sensible and steady. Give him freedom and set the bottom line at the same time, just like flying a kite, no matter how high he flies, the thread is still in his hand. Now that he knows that he has gone home, why does he insist on it?