One: Unhappy people are all because men "fail to live up to expectations".
In a department, two female colleagues have almost the same experience. After they get married, they take care of their own children and have their own children. For them, the existence of a husband or mother-in-law is like air.
Colleague A, in her thirties, with a kindergarten child, sold her house because her husband was in debt because of his business. Children, mother-in-law, husband and elder sister live together in an old community.
Later, because her husband was unexpectedly hospitalized, all the economic pressure fell on colleagues. Although her colleagues are all in sales, her performance is not so good. I have to pay more than 2,000 yuan for my children to go to kindergarten every month, and I have to bear more than 4,000 yuan for my husband's rehabilitation medical expenses every month.
During this time, his mother-in-law didn't seem to understand him very well and took her son back to the countryside to recuperate. And I run between the company and the kindergarten alone every day, once on Saturday. The child is at home alone. Because I was afraid, I went outside the community. Fortunately, the security guard stopped the child, otherwise something really happened that day.
Colleague b, from the moment of pregnancy, has not been too concerned by her husband or mother-in-law. On rainy days, I ride an electric car to the company alone. After giving birth to the child, neither her husband nor her mother-in-law helped her with the child.
The experience of these two colleagues is similar, that is, the husband failed to live up to expectations, and the mother-in-law did not help much after marriage. Both the cost of raising a family and the cost of taking care of children in all aspects fall on women. For a man, it seems that everything in this family has nothing to do with him, and more is just the quarrel and incomprehension between husband and wife.
Two: Happy people and family atmosphere are the key.
Let's take a look at the happier marriages of other colleagues. At the same time, since C became pregnant, her husband regarded it as a treasure. Everything is the best, even the usual sweeping, washing clothes and getting a glass of water are all done by my husband's skirt.
There are some happier colleagues who not only get the respect of their in-laws, but also get a lot of support. This kind of support does not only refer to economic sources. But some considerate and meticulous care. Although the daughter-in-law is an outsider, for many public servants, she is treated like her own daughter.
In such an environment, whether between in-laws and daughters-in-law, or between husband and wife, happiness index will be higher. Because they can constantly understand each other's difficulties and are willing to take care of each other. Instead of complaining or feeling dragged down.
There is a female colleague whose husband is not only very nice, but also her in-laws cook in different ways every day. Not married, but not pregnant or anything.
But for in-laws, it is the same as treating their own daughters. Colleagues will buy gifts for future in-laws, and in-laws will remember her birthday and know what taste she likes.
Three: A happy marriage must depend on the efforts of both parties.
So after witnessing the marriages of many colleagues or friends around me, I really found those happy marriages.
There are really great similarities, that is, husband and wife help each other and understand each other, because the two married people belong to the closest relationship.
If there is no trust and understanding between two people, then no matter what you do, it will be a constant quarrel, and the woman will be the last to get tired.
A woman should take care of her children, her family and the feelings of her in-laws. But for men, play games every day, go out to eat, drink and sleep. Do these things over and over again, as if some responsibilities in life have nothing to do with him.
More importantly, the most important basis for maintaining a family is the guarantee of economic resources. If a man has no responsibility and responsibility, all the expenses and sources of income fall on the woman.