2. I want to ask: we all paid money at school, shouldn't we let the teachers listen to us?
3. Look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you will appreciate them. If you look down, you will be hooligans.
4, it will be dark, the road will be slippery, and you may not know who is more cunning than you on the way home.
Youth is capital, but it is worthless without hard work.
7. Give me a woman and I will create a country! Give you a sow, and the price of meat will fall next year?
8. How dare I touch you? I'm afraid I'll buy hand sanitizer for myself.
9, you think you will be in my heart for a long time, tell you, you think too much.
10, in this age of promiscuity, a dear is at best just a hello!
1 1, not that I don't want to lose weight, but I'm afraid of rebounding.
12, flip a coin, head to the internet, tail to sleep, stand up and do your homework.
13, I don't look at the time in the morning, but at how long I can sleep.
14, believe is believe, don't believe is not believe, you fucking return WeChat.
15, test results announced: laugh if you do well in the exam, don't cry or laugh if you don't do well in the exam.
16, women are always strong for a few days, even if they are bleeding.
17, life is like fighting landlords, but a group of people are enemies.
18, time waits for no one, first of all, women are not spared; Opportunity waits for no man. First of all, you can't wait for a man.
19, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me?
20. In the days when there are no women, I enjoy flirting with men.
2 1, you'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable.
22. What I can't extricate myself is love. There are radishes in other people's fields.
Even if you are already taken, I will move you to my side.
24. Love based on marriage is either hooliganism.
25. My advantage: I have the courage to admit my mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.
If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent.
27. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out
Wechat is very funny
1, come out and mix, my wife will change sooner or later! 2. The warmest good night comes from the person you love most.
When I was drunk, I refused to obey anyone. I only hold the wall.
Love words are so beautiful that even outsiders cry.
I never lie, except this sentence.
6. If you have an identity, you have an ID card.
7. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.
8. I winked at you, and you insisted that it was a discharge.
9. In order to be a civil servant, I gave birth to a leader's son.
10, how far is it forever? Get out, boy!
1 1, talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, but talking about feelings hurts money the most.
12, the world is the best, and the human feelings are warm and cold.
13, the customer abused me thousands of times, and I took the customer as my first love.
14, love is like a ghost, many people believe it, but few people see it.
15. What happened in class? I don't know. Let's talk about it first
16, I never swear, because I don't swear.
17, and so on, endless waiting, but missing fills my heart.
18, is your coffin overturned or sliding?
19. Why did you kick the classmate in front of you in class?
20. Obama, do you remember Little Bin Laden by Daming Lake?
2 1, be a carefree foodie and a carefree fool.
22. Don't wear such a thick foundation when you go out. You can't see what you look like.
Have you finished reading the review materials? I think it's over.
24, the simplest longevity cheats keep breathing, don't die.
25. If a tree is not peeled, it will die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.
26. I really hope that snacks at home can be regenerated like geckos.
27. Thank God for letting me meet you, whether we have a future or not!
28. I always look for lost beauty with your loving smile.
29. Life is a big market, and people buy this and sell that.
30. In any case, someone will always choose to forgive.
3 1, the simplest way to live longer: keep breathing and don't die.
32. I really, let's take a trip. I'll take you, you get the money.
33. Live in one place all your life and sleep next to one person all your life.
Hawking's story tells us that learning physics well comes at a price.
35. I want to ask you, which grave explosion saved you?
Do you have a date? I can't afford an elephant, let alone a pair.
37. Don't pretend to be forced in front of people with little power, but show off in front of people with great power.
38. Many things are between not saying injustice and saying melodramatic.
39. I'm not thinking about you in rainy days, I'm thinking about when the newly washed clothes will dry.
Don't call me fat, or I'll think you're jealous that I eat better than you.
4 1, the happiest thing in this world is that the person you love loves you.
42. Do you think you look good in person or in photos? Turn off the lights and look good.
43. Hold your hand and drag it away. If the child doesn't leave, dizziness will continue to be dragged away.
I am not smart, beautiful or gentle, but I love you more than words.
45. The decrease of forest area in China is mainly due to too many test papers!
46. If you pull, you will be kicked to the South Pole to waltz with penguins.
47. I also want to be an elegant lady. It was life that made me a bitch.
48. The greatest happiness in life is to find that the person you love just loves you.
49. How can one say one thing and do another? You will wear a condom at a critical moment.
50. Some people call me ugly. I feel sad and sorry for him. I went blind at a young age.
5 1, I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.
52. Who said the teacher was sorry for the abbot? Has anyone considered the feelings of Taoist priests?
53. My parents always suspected that I met people at school, and they talked as if someone could like me.
54. Loving someone probably means caring about everything and forgiving everything.
55. The whole school stopped water supply for two days. The next day, I found that there were not many girls in my class.
56. There are two kinds of creatures in the world who can lie on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the class teacher.
Honey, stop playing with skin and bones. Aren't you afraid that the Monkey King will see you and give you three sticks?
58. Since I can play QQ, I find that my pinyin is getting better and better, and reading has no such effect.
59. There must be something wrong with my eyes, because my eyes are always helplessly taken away from you.
60. Praise cows, because I care about milk. Praise the sheep because of the aftertaste of mutton. .
6 1, if you shed tears, it will always be my face that is wet; If you are sad, it is always my heart that cries!
62. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful.
63. Don't expect to lose weight. Bajie has walked 108000 miles without losing weight. Besides, he is a vegetarian!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If you want to be a hermit, try changing garlic.
65, fate, silently waiting at a ferry, waiting for love to carry. Two empty hearts happen to coincide.
66. Life is like this. You always stretch your legs when you are too beautiful to find the north.
67. I want to be an emperor, but I am afraid of verbosity; Want to be an official, afraid of many things; Want to eat, afraid to brush the pot; Afraid of getting into trouble, I really want to beat you up.
68. I didn't feel my existence until I met you, and I couldn't bear to leave you, even though you said so firmly.
69. I study Tyrannosaurus rex feed, eunuch fertility, how much start-up capital is needed to engage in real estate on Mars and other professional academic issues.
Please raise your hand and let me see your hand, ok? ! The robber shouted at the crowd in the bank.
7 1, knowing each other is providence, knowing each other is human will, adding up to friendship, and feeling is intentional. We can be together because our hearts are connected.
72. Do you still remember the circle of the children's channel? Yes What did that sentence say? Dance with me.
73. I suddenly had the impulse to study. I took a sip of water to calm my nerves. Okay, it's calm now. I was too impulsive just now. Fortunately, I have strong self-control.
74. Teacher, can we wait until Logger Vick cuts down the tree, the wolf eats the sheep, Tom catches Jerry, and the monster eats the Tang Priest before we start school?
75. When I was a child, I was called a turtle grandson by my grandmother. When I grow up, I am called a rabbit. Now I'm single dog. This kind of life is simply an animal history.
76. Chu people love to smoke the Yellow Crane Tower and walk on the clouds. Unconsciously, the cigarette butts are exhausted, and the meaning is still unfinished. I like delicious Wuchang fish, wine or Bai Yunbian.
77. Wife: My husband takes money, and I want to go shopping with Xiaoli. Me: How about 20? Wife: OK. I took out my wallet, pulled it out and silently handed it to my wife.
Honey, I bought you an apple. Oh, honey, I love you so much. Look at those bitches still showing off their millet in front of me. It just sucks.
79. It took 10 minutes to get up this time. You beat 88% of the students in the country. There is still a classmate in the dormitory who can't get up and is starting over. The dormitory next door collapsed!
80. Man: The world is so big, why are you clinging to me? You have your life, I have my freedom, and letting go is true. Salesgirl: Why do you want to leave after taking something?
Wechat is funny, QQ space is funny.
1. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit.
The most brilliant moment of Apple was hitting Newton on the head.
I don't need you to understand. Shut up.
No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time!
If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out.
6. Stupid or not, see if you can play dumb.
7. Stealing food is not my fault, but the loneliness of my mouth.
8. I'm not Yosemite, I'm just dichlorvos. Do you want to hold me in your hand?
9. Boss, do you have any coke? Get me a bottle of Sprite.
10. I think the earth is too dangerous. I miss Mars.
1 1. After which famous family, your father is Marshal Tian Peng!
12. keitel, why are you crying? Is it because your ass is too hot?
13. The wind is blowing so hard that my cell phone signal is connected!
14. Staying up late is because you don't have the courage to end the day, and staying in bed is because you don't have the courage to start the day.
15. Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good.
16. Every time I cram for the Buddha's feet, the Buddha always kicks me.
17. I can't see others laughing, and I also laugh at others wearing nothing.
18. If people live by eating, that meal is not called rice, but called feed.
19. I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning.
20. Every time you write a resume, you will admire yourself more than before.
2 1. The high pressure in your eyes is enough for my mobile phone to last for a year.
22. Don't feel that you are rare, so cherish what is rare.
23. Youth, hello acne!
24. Every dormitory has one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores and one who sleeps late.
25. Teacher, after you approve Laona's gauze, you will be Laona's person.
26. If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?
27. I wanted to turn around gorgeously, but I kept a low profile and hit the wall.
28. I planted a boyfriend in the field in spring, but I forgot this crop in autumn.
29. I said to the mirror, mirror, mirror, am I the most beautiful in the world? The mirror is broken.
30. There are two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads, and the other is to put other people's money into your own pockets. The former successfully called the teacher, while the latter successfully called the boss. Both of them successfully called their wives or universities or churches!
3 1. I'm not the kind of person who hits people when they're down. I just closed the well.
32. Baidu couldn't find you, so it had to go to sogou!
33. You are so charming that countless blind people are scrambling to bend over.
34. I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.
35. Men are dumped, money is the problem, women are dumped, looks are the problem, I am dumped, and you have a fucking brain problem.
36. To live will die sooner or later. If you die, you will live forever.
37. You play with your customization and I play with my formatting.
38. Sorry, Miss, I'm not handsome. But not every woman has a chance.
39. It's not that I'm obsessed with legends, but that legends are so beautiful.
40. I am just a game, but you are fascinated.
4 1. Don't be infatuated with brother, sister-in-law is the legend.
42. Handsome and able to drive, that's chess, money and a house, and that's a bank.
43. God created virgins and I created women.
44. Looking at it, it's all goods. Who do you want to live with, sister?
45. Don't take the speed of playing video to challenge the technology of high cough.
46. The fox is not a demon and sexy.
47. Various postures and tricks. All kinds of surging, all kinds of floating.
48. It is not necessarily a virgin who cries and hurts, but a bitch who seduces a man.
49. Women who mix well are sisters-in-law, and those who mix badly are bitches.
50. Although the bird is small, it really plays all over the sky.
5 1. Cucumber must be shot, and life must be high.
52. Love is just pulling a beautiful calf when you are lonely.
53. Distance produces not beauty, but a third party.
54. The power of mistress is irresistible to ordinary people.
55. Every woman is always cheap for a man.
56. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first!
57. You can't judge a book by its cover, but neither can a mistress judge a book by its cover.
58. Commodities have a shelf life, and people sometimes get tired of looking at them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?
59. When someone is pretending to be cool, my sister always lowers her head. I'm not educated, I'm just looking for bricks.
60. When I was young, you and I made many mistakes because we didn't learn love well.
6 1. An emotional fool won't mind loving a madman.
62. If there really are heroes like those in novels, then the world is really wonderful!
63. How lovely the world would be if my exam results could rise as fast as the house price.
64. The advertisement was well read, and suddenly a TV series popped up to be depressed.
65. The best thing in the world is to sleep with the air conditioner on when you are full.
66. The one with big breasts may not necessarily marry Pan An, but the one with small breasts can also catch Yanzu.
67. Looking at Princess Pearl all day, I feel a little sorry for Sister Rong.
68. After the rain, you hung yourself in the southeast branch, but you broadened your horizons by 300 miles and hung yourself in the southeast branch. Since God gave you talents, let it go and be hired! , all kinds of self-hanging southeast branches.
69. Taking classes can cure students of insomnia.
70. Being liked by fools is always showing off.
7 1. Flowers are like water, like your mother, you are all on your father.
I hate indecision in my bones.
73. The abbreviation of elopement is SB, and AV is followed by SB after the keyboard.
74. I looked at the food as usual before eating today. Oh, my God! There is no meat today.
75. Am I a personality? Of course.
76. Why are you pointing your chicken feet at me? Do you know that I prefer pickled peppers to dregs?
77. The happiest thing to hear at school is that the head teacher is not here today.
78. Every time you say that I am not independent enough, I choose silence. I really want to tell you that it's time for you to go when I no longer depend on you.
79. A man's greatest skill is to accommodate his girlfriend until other men can't stand it.
80. Don't be a bitch in front of me all the time.
8 1. Life is like a news broadcast, and you can't escape by changing the channel.
82. I am a special person. I am an ordinary person, so I am an extraordinary person.
83. Mom said: Even if you are jealous, pretend to drink soy sauce, and don't let others look down on you.
84. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.
85. What should I do if I meet a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile and pretend to be Xu Xian.
86. I went to the city to take part in the pigeon racing yesterday, but I went alone.
87. Eat, I want to be thin, I want to be thin. I can't have both, so I left.
88. Don't think that I am out of reach because I am handsome. Actually, I am a sea of rivers.
Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are still alive, and he should have died!
90. If you love me, put on my wedding dress and strip it off yourself.
9 1. Effect of contraception: If it is not successful, it will become an adult.
92. Thank you for robbing my date and letting me know that he is putting on airs.
93. Who is the future girlfriend I am in love with now?
94. There are so many brain-dead people in the world, but you have become the best among them.
95. The lady is an unexplored Bikachu. A gentleman is a wolf in wool.
96. Before you touch the flowers and twist the grass, someone else has pulled it out.
97. I have a crush on you because I'm out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.
98. When you speak ill of me, can you feel like cooking without embellishing it?
99. Eat wild vegetables at home when you have no money, and eat wild vegetables in hotels when you have money.
100. I never write words, but I write common characters!
Wechat Humor on Mood Phrases 2020
1, many people like to say: wait for me! But after waiting for many years, I still didn't wait for embarrassment.
2. People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but they always feel that ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We are too embarrassed.
Sometimes if you feel ugly, take out your ID card, and you will find yourself worrying too much.
4, a person's life is like taking a shit, sometimes you have worked hard, but all you can come out is fart.
5, anonymous hair status: hair, hurry up, I am sleepy. The following frowsty coquettish man answers: Whose hair is it?
6. The sweat that flows on my body every day is completely the water that enters my head when I fill in my volunteers.
7, there is a kind of love called heirs, there is a kind of pain that there is no preview of the next episode, and there is a kind of despair that it will wait another week!
8. I only wish that in the next life, you are a tree, and I am a vine wrapped around you, and vines are wrapped around trees.
9. Everyone who loves to sleep late has a lover who is hard to give up. His name is bed.
10, why don't you want me to read? You can't discriminate against me just because I am a hooligan.
1 1. Women should not think that they are good enough not to study, and men should not think that they can be ugly if they study well.
12, the kindergarten teacher hit a boy because the boy ate the girl's boobs.
13, tell you a secret, don't sleep the night before the exam, otherwise, you will not be able to sleep during the exam.
14, eat, I want to be thin, I want to be thin, I can't have both, and I left.
15, a good citizen when he doesn't have a girlfriend, a bail pending trial when he has a girlfriend, residential surveillance when he is engaged, and life imprisonment after marriage!
16, silk stockings are a symbol of power. Women can conquer men by wearing them, and men can conquer banks by wearing them!
17, don't smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile, my stomach is not as strong as you think.
18, three bottles of women: one in youth, one in middle age and one in old age.
19, when you are in a good mood, it sounds really nice. When I am in a bad mood, I feel uneasy about listening to anything.
20, don't mess with my sister, I have a secret weapon: fan you to death, fan you to death, fan me to death.
2 1, it is said that sleeping is an art. It seems that I still have no artistic cells and often suffer from insomnia at night.
22. The dog is in love, but he is worried because he doesn't know if the other person likes men who eat shit.
23. In love life, what is more terrible than not finding a sense of security? I can't find a condom.
24. Is the daughter-in-law important or the game important? Daughter-in-law is of course important, so I only dare to play games and dare not hit my daughter-in-law.
25, see Conan didn't learn much reasoning and problem-solving skills, but learned a lot of modus operandi.
26. If no teacher can teach all subjects, why should students learn all subjects?
27, a person is wandering, a person is wandering, no one notices me, I am very humble.
28. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? So be realistic.
29. We are ordinary people, and we are also special people, so we are particularly ordinary.
30. Sleeping in class, infatuating with handsome guys after class, chatting with girls in the dormitory, the day passed quickly.
3 1, don't say that women are too realistic if men are not capable, and don't say that men are too playboy if women are not capable.
32. If you say ideal, do you mean I want an elephant?
33. I am really comfortable that people who don't like me can add trouble to your heart.
34. My desk is no longer suitable because I slept with it.
I hope all the money in my pocket can love each other and have many children.
36. You need speed these days, or you can't catch up with the heat when you eat shit.
37, if people really live to the point of shameless, how to live.
38. Confucius can't help you solve the problem, but Lao Tzu can help you solve it.
39. We are all dreamers. When dreams are gone, only dreamers are left.
40. Those who always say that others are pretending to be forced, you are not even pretending to be forced.
4 1, I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and always wanted to separate me from the bed.
42. Life is so fucking interesting, because life always fucking plays with me.
43. You haven't fully evolved. It's really hard for you to look like a human.
44. Red beans don't grow in the south, but on my face. I really miss them!
45. The night gave me a black mouse, but I played with it until dawn.
46, Gemini is a dual personality, Pisces is a dual animal.
47. You are my super happy insole. Let me step on you.
48. People like you, in the drama I directed, I can let you live for two episodes at most.
49. After studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better.
50. I think Zhou Yu must be a fat man, otherwise why does everyone call him Dudu?