Notes before the text of a book or after the title of an article.
Practice tolerance, live in harmony and be good neighbors.
-Preamble to the Charter of the United Nations
Violets leave fragrance on ankles, which is forgiveness.
-Mark Twain
I also tolerate others' slanders, not arguments. I'm insulted, too. It's better to prevent it than not to prevent it.
-Master Hongyi
We always think that tolerance is to give others a chance to live. In fact, tolerance is to give ourselves a chance. The wonder of forgiveness is that it is often the giver who benefits the most.
—— Li Jianming, executive director of China Mental Health Association.
Recently, an article "Forgive 12 the benefits brought by others" has been widely circulated in the circle of WeChat friends. The article popularly lists the functions of forgiveness: 1. Lowering blood pressure; 2. Reduce stress; 3. Eliminate hostility; 4. control anger; 5. Stabilize the heart rhythm; 6. Stay away from alcohol and tobacco; 7. Reject depression; 8. Less anxiety; 9. Less discomfort; 10. Expand communication; 1 1. Family harmony; 12. The ability to forgive is a kind of cultivation, a kind of generosity and an open mind. Now, it's time to take stock of the past and face reality. Who doesn't want to let go of tangled worries and let forgiveness become a magic weapon to nourish the sunshine and happiness of the soul?
People who don't forgive are like living in a haze.
Smooth sailing and doing whatever you want is a beautiful vision, but nine times out of ten, parents' shortcomings are always inseparable, pots and pans will always bump into each other, and marriage and family health will encounter such problems. If they don't know how to forgive, they will be tit-for-tat, haggle over every ounce, and even retaliate against each other, so they choose self-restraint and suffocation, avoiding it and lingering, as if shrouded in an invisible haze.
On June 2nd, China News reported that a case was tried in Wucheng District Court of Jinhua, Zhejiang Province on 20 15 15. A 77-year-old local man even threw a Grenade at the bus because of a quarrel with the driver. Fortunately, the bomb did not explode, causing no casualties, otherwise the consequences would be unimaginable. The cause of the incident is really small. It turned out that when the old man took the bus, the driver stopped 5 meters away from the platform, which made it inconvenient for him to get off. Afterwards, he also smashed the bus glass with stones, and his family lost him 600 yuan, so the old man held a grudge. During the trial, the old man said regretfully, "I am too impulsive and want to die with the driver!" " "
It is not uncommon to be unforgivable and fall into an unfortunate life case. A middle-aged female friend found out that her husband was having an affair when the child was very young. Her husband asked for forgiveness many times, but she couldn't rub sand in her eyes and decided to divorce. The divorce is undecided, but after 20 years, she is still suffering from unforgivable pain and her life is full of anger and hatred. Her ex-husband lingered in regret and shame all day, and neither of them remarried. Children grow up in such an environment, timid and inferior.
There are also many star couples in the entertainment circle who have changed from love to natural enemies. Love her to death, hate her teeth. After marriage, there will be a war of abuse, official statement, Weibo trumpet, friends' exposure, pornographic photos, cheating, and "child-grabbing war". The level of dog blood is staggering. Don't you know, turn your enemy into your friend and harm others and yourself. While real family tragedies were staged, happiness was gone.
A few days ago, a health lecture talked about mental heart disease, also called "double heart disease". Generally speaking, psychological, emotional and mental problems can cause symptoms similar to heart disease. If you don't open your mind and think too much, you will be easily excited, accompanied by emotional problems such as anxiety, depression and tension, and even induce cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases. Therefore, we should always "open the window" for the soul, shine in the warm and bright light of forgiveness, breathe fresh air, gain nutritional energy and sweep away the haze.
The power of forgiveness is magical.
Dr. Lucikin, the author of "Tolerance is Good", believes that forgiveness means that we should regain the control of inner peace. Professor Enright, who is known as the "father of forgiveness", said: "Love and hate are intertwined, and injury and anger come one after another. The only weapon that can be cracked is forgiveness ... "People who know forgiveness are both benevolent and wise, because forgiveness is not only an action, but also a" mind "accumulated by a series of" mindfulness ",which can turn hostilities into friendship and turn decadence into magic.
Jin Yong, a famous martial arts novelist whose works have been heavily pirated, said instead, "If there were not so many pirated books, my book would not have so many readers." Wang Shuo lashed out at Jin Yong's novels in I See Jin Yong, but Jin Yong did not accuse the other party of exaggerating, but admitted that he was "limited in talent", did not accuse the other party of being mean in language, praised the other party for being "compassionate in writing", and extended a warm hand to the other party, hoping to make friends with the other party. Wang Shuo later admitted that "compared with Jin Yong, it really made me feel ashamed."
Zhang Ailing said: "To be a kind woman, it is beautiful not to resent, and it is holy to forgive." Movie star Sun Li's parents/Kloc-divorced at the age of 0/2. She grew up in a single-parent family and experienced hardships in life. She was once full of resentment against her father and wanted to be proud of her success. But when she became famous, she saw her embarrassed father. Later, she gradually changed with gratitude and became a filial daughter. After the change, she understood a truth: if you hate someone, you will never get happiness, only love, love.
The forgiveness shown by the "Lukang Incident" that shocked the world is even more shocking. 199 1 year, Lu Gang, a student studying in China, shot and killed five people at the University of Iowa in the United States and then shot himself. One of the victims, Vice President An? Ms Claire's family published a letter to Lu Gang's family. The beauty of human nature in the letter moved the whole world. "Ann believes in love and forgiveness. We write this letter when you are sad, in order to share your sadness. Please accept our love and prayers. " "We are willing to share this sorrow with you." In the face of sudden disasters, forgiveness doubles the love, care and respect between people.
"Forgiveness moistens the earth like a drizzle in the sky. It blesses the forgiving and the forgiven. " As you sow, you reap. Choosing forgiveness means sowing love, and you will get love. Love is described in the Bible as follows: "Love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous, love is not boastful, arrogant, shy, does not seek its own benefits, does not get angry easily, does not count people's evils, does not like injustice, but only likes truth; Always tolerate, always believe, always hope and always endure. Love never stops. "
Learn to forgive and move towards peace and joy.
Many things are easier said than done, and so is forgiveness. Classic Buddhist stories guide us to do so. Hanshan asked me: What should I do if the world slanders me, deceives me, humiliates me, mocks me, belittles me, hates me and deceives me? Pick up the cloud: just put up with him, let him, let him, avoid him, put up with him, respect him, ignore him, stay a few more years and see him.
Mandela is a master of forgiveness and kindness. He taught us to forget, let go and be grateful. During his 27 years in prison, he suffered all kinds of ill-treatment and inhuman torture. At the inauguration ceremony of the President of South Africa, he embraced three prison guards. "I was impatient and grumpy when I was young. It was with the help of the three of them that I learned to control my emotions ... "These words made the three prison guards feel ashamed and respected. His famous saying is even more widely read: when I walked out of my cell and walked to the prison gate leading to freedom, I knew that if I could not leave my pain and resentment behind, I would still be in prison.
More and more mental health experts have found that forgiveness is a good psychological medicine. Tolerance can make the mind go through the process of continuous purification and sublimation. There is no better way to relieve and eliminate depression. 165438+1October16 is the International Tolerance Day every year, and the purpose of setting up the International Tolerance Day is to increase "popularity". At least once a year, let the eyes of countries, international institutions, non-governmental organizations and individuals around the world focus on the theme of "tolerance" and make contributions to it. Experts and scholars have established a number of "tolerance laboratories" to study tolerance as a topic. Professor Enright's tolerance research involves four stages. The first step is to understand and let the parties know the mental pain they have suffered because of improper injury. Let anger and other negative emotions be exposed before recovery begins. The second step is to decide to let the parties know that clinging to the injuries and perpetrators they have suffered can only make them suffer deeper injuries. At this time, you should know that it is the best policy to let go of revenge and forgive each other. The third step is to act, so that the parties can look at the perpetrators from a new perspective. This does not mean knocking out their teeth and swallowing them, but getting to know each other better. The last step is to let the parties feel the joy of liberation.
The miracle course, which is highly praised by international psychotherapy organizations, takes "forgiveness" as its main theme and puts forward the principle of 12 psychotherapy: 1. The essence of our existence is love; 2. Health is inner peace, and cure is letting go of fear; 3. Giving and receiving are the same thing; 4. We can let go of the past and the future; 5. The present is the only time that exists, and every moment is for giving; 6. We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging; 7. We can be the one who finds love, not the wrong one; 8. No matter what happens outside, we can choose and guide ourselves to have inner peace; 9. We are all students and teachers of each other; 10. We can focus on the whole of life, not the fragmented fragments; 1 1. Since love is eternal, we need not be afraid of death; 12. We can always see ourselves and others either pushing (giving) love or calling for love.