Now many people like Zeng Guofan. There are countless books describing Zeng Guofan in the market. Zeng Guofan, known as a famous figure in the late Qing Dynasty, set himself three commandments in the process of constantly correcting his shortcomings and gradually becoming mature and sophisticated, that is, "Don't say much, don't be angry and don't beg" (Diary of the Complete Works of Zeng Guofan).

? Zeng Guofan repeatedly reminded himself in his diary that "don't say anything", mainly after a small matter. Zeng Guofan is a dutiful son. Soon after he was admitted to imperial academy, he took his father to live in Beijing. Once he gave his father a birthday, and a good friend named Zheng Xiaoshan came to celebrate his birthday. Because of Zheng Xiaoshan's excellent medical skills, they have a good relationship. This Zheng Xiaoshan often treats the Zeng family for free on weekdays, so they often talk openly and casually together. Zeng Guofan was in his early 30 s, and it was the era of spring breeze, so he gradually became boastful. Zeng Guofan drank too much that day and got carried away. Because of the couple, he quarreled with Zheng Xiaoshan on the spot and Zheng Xiaoshan left on the spot. Afterwards, Zeng Guofan's father scolded him well. Zeng Guofan also regretted this very much. He reflected in his diary: "There are three major problems in this matter: I am disrespectful on weekdays and rely too much on each other, and I am also; Compared with that time, one is out of line, disgusted with rudeness, and the other is; After the quarrel, people, I am shameless and unreasonable. Bad words don't come out of your mouth, and angry words don't show up on your body. I don't know. Why ask others? Remember this, I think this is a warning! " (Diary of the Complete Works of Zeng Guofan). Zeng Guofan means that there are three major mistakes in this matter. First, they are usually self-righteous; Second, if you don't open the door, you can say where you want to go; Third, obviously speaking offends people, and arguing with others, even to the point of inhumanity. So to sum up these three points, Zeng Guofan said that as a standard Confucian intellectual, he couldn't even understand the truth that "bad words can't be uttered, angry words can't be introspected" in the Book of Rites, and he couldn't even pass the language barrier. What can he do? Since then, Zeng Guofan has taken "verbosity" as a warning in both self-education and children's education.

? The essence of Zeng Guofan's "forbidding to talk too much" is not to say too little or even not, nor is silence golden, but to have self-control in the face of people and things, not to talk nonsense and come out casually, and to pay attention to avoiding disaster. Therefore, in essence, forbearance is an action wisdom of not pestering and arguing less when facing the situation.