Zhu Ziqing wrote in Talking: "Talking is not an easy task. Talking every day does not necessarily mean talking; Many people have talked for a lifetime and have not said a few words. " Don't treat being unable to speak as a trivial matter, as Cai Kangyong said, "The more you can speak, the happier others will be, and the happier others will be, the more they will like you; The more people like you, the more help you get and the happier you will be. "
Wang Han and He Jiong, as two pillars of Hunan TV Station, are remembered by many people who eat melons. Once two people performed on the same stage, someone asked Wang Han, "Who is the first brother of Hunan TV Station?" . This question is suddenly sharp, and if you don't answer it well, you may be embarrassed immediately. Seeing the peace of Wang Han, "an elder brother, of course, is He Jiong". The man continued to ask, "What about you?" . Wang Han replied, "I am He Jiong's eldest brother". Because Wang Han is indeed older than He Jiong, Wang Han is humorous and polite when he said this, which not only shows their close relationship, but also modestly praises He Jiong's work ability and level, showing the demeanor of his eldest brother.
Talking is like playing table tennis. You come and go, you can play well. Diamond cut diamond, the happiness of meeting talented people can only be felt when it is evenly matched. Sometimes some people have strange thinking and angles, and the angle of service is very difficult. If you can catch it skillfully and send it back gently, then you are a master.
During the Warring States Period, the State of Qin took advantage of the alternation of Zhao's political power to attack Zhao on a large scale and occupied three cities of Zhao in one fell swoop. Zhao was in critical condition and asked Qi for help. Qi wanted his youngest son to be a hostage before sending troops. Empress dowager Zhao is eager to love her son, and sternly refuses the advice of ministers, saying, "If you reply and make Chang 'an hostage, the old lady will spit on it! " .
At this critical moment, Zhao Zuo's family went against the tide and stepped forward to remonstrate with the Queen Mother Zhao. Touch the dragon did not directly remonstrate, but talked about the family, starting with asking about the diet, daily life and health of the queen mother, in order to alleviate the alert mood of the queen mother. Then she asked the empress dowager to take care of her young son and join the army as a bodyguard. This requirement makes Empress Dowager Zhao feel like a "bosom friend", and it is interesting to discuss with Long who loves her young son.
Mo Long then talked about the topic that the Queen Mother loves her daughter Yan more than her son Chang, and the Queen Mother immediately refuted this statement. Then Touchdragon used the descendants of the princes of past dynasties, who were prominent, well-paid and powerful, but could not continue to learn from Hou because of lack of credit. They hit the nail on the head and pointed out that although the Queen Mother loved Chang, she gave him a rich place and entrusted him with an important task, but she didn't give him a chance to make great achievements. Once the mountain collapses, how can you often stand up to Zhao? It seems that the queen mother doesn't love Chang more.
Mo Long never mentioned that he was often a hostage, but he was deeply moved by the love of the Queen Mother for his son and finally said, "Whatever you say." In the process of remonstrating with Empress Zhao, there was not a word that was stern and impassioned. But a homely way, which gradually won the trust of Empress Dowager Zhao. The final conclusion, based on Chang's actual situation and long-term interests, deeply touched Empress Zhao and successfully completed her purpose of admonition.
There is a saying in "Augmented Xianwen" that "a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June". A word of tolerance and understanding can give people great comfort and encouragement, even in the cold winter. A hurtful word, even in the hot summer of June, is chilling. When Bo Huang encountered the problem of dim lighting, which affected the effect of the program, he didn't use an excuse to attack, but at the same time joked about the problem, which not only enlivened the atmosphere at the scene, but also brought the relaxed and lively rhythm into the program.
When filming Cry of the Island, Sun was invited to take part in the filming, but in the end, these scenes were deleted. When someone asked why all the grandchildren were deleted, they said, "He played better than the main actors. Why did you keep him? And I didn't pay him when he came, so I didn't cut in line. Is there a problem? " There was laughter at the scene. Modest and humorous Bo Huang once again turned this issue into a golden sentence of active atmosphere.
Albert ellis, the author of Why My Emotion is Always Influenced by Others, told a story. On a flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles, a passenger wanted to smoke, but was stopped by a flight attendant. The passengers were very unhappy, calling the flight attendant a nuisance and complaining constantly, so the flight attendant had to walk away.
Then, another passenger wanted to smoke and was stopped by the stewardess. The passenger has been talking to the stewardess politely, hoping that the stewardess will allow him to smoke. Finally, the stewardess brought a drink and said politely, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience." Please have a free drink and don't smoke. "
The same thing has different results. The difference lies in whether the speaker controls his emotions and conveys soft and relaxed emotions to others, which determines whether others will reciprocate and convey good emotions to you. Swearing is likely to add fuel to the fire. As the saying goes, it is difficult to hit a smiling face with both fists. Smiling faces are not for compromise, but for courtesy and restraint.
Huang Zhizhong, known as the "God of Debate", once said: Nine times out of ten, the troubles of life lie in interpersonal relationships; Nine times out of ten, interpersonal troubles are caused by communication problems.
It is common for couples to quarrel and bicker. The wife nagged at her husband, "You know nothing. How much I liked you then! " If you refute it at this time, or tell the truth, it is likely to intensify contradictions and escalate them. If the husband put it another way, "why can't anything?" Just pick your daughter-in-law's eyes. Is there a problem? ",the atmosphere is likely to ease, an arms race. Talking is Kan Kan's talk, talking is heroic, talking is clever, sometimes speaking is unreasonable, and bowing your head to admit cowardice.
In the movie "Chasing Happyness", there is a scene in which the protagonist Chris's business fails and his wife leaves. He is penniless and has to take his young son to make a living. Finally, one day, the desperate hero received an interview notice from a company, but the hero was sent to the police station the night before the interview and did not return all night. The next day, the interviewer saw the dirty hero and asked, "What reason do we have to admit a man without a shirt?" .
Chris is a stock market trader and needs to wear a formal suit. The interviewer was actually complaining and criticizing Chris's dress, and the atmosphere suddenly became tense. Chris thought about it and replied, "Then I guess his pants should be elegant." This witty answer instantly eased the atmosphere, and in the laughter of the interviewer, the hero who was in trouble and in urgent need of work got the job as he wished. Grasp the atmosphere of the conversation, grasp the rhythm of the conversation and relax.
Some friends spit out their blind date experience. When two people meet for the first time, they sit down. In order to break the embarrassment, a friend asked the other party where to study, and the other party answered a place name. The friend then asked, what major did you study? Just a few simple words. After several rounds, the two people fell silent, and this blind date naturally went away. My friend came back to talk about it. "This girl doesn't like us, otherwise it would be so difficult to talk." From this story, we can see that a good dialogue should be a mutually beneficial exchange between the two sides. Obviously, this questioning dialogue cannot last long.
Chatting is not only to kill time, but also to get information, get to know each other and know each other. Therefore, how to open the topic, how to establish a harmonious conversation relationship and how to get to know each other in the conversation are very important conversation skills. If you want to maintain a high-quality conversation, you should give the other person choice and space. For example, after answering a question, you can add "What about you?" . In addition, try to choose open topics when chatting. You said the weather was fine today, and the other party could only answer yes or no. If you say that the weather is fine today and hope it will be so fine tomorrow, then you can play a ball game, which makes the other side get a lot of information and realize a bridge of mutual understanding and communication through chatting.
"Look at you, you are all fat and eating."
"Look at others, then look at you."
"Aren't your hands very long?"
"Are you sick?"
"I raised you for nothing, you are really useless."
……
Everyone expects others to speak well of themselves, but many people can't speak well of themselves. Strike, compare, ask questions, ridicule and abuse just pop up, just like a thorn, stabbing someone who wants to get close to you or get closer to you, scarred and bloody. It is inevitable that people will have emotions when they speak, but emotions can stimulate and touch people. It can be a sword or a good medicine. If you throw poison into honey, how can you expect honey in return? Give it papaya, or you can get it.
How to talk well and chat happily can be summed up in a thousand ways-sincerity. Because I am sincere, I am willing to put myself in the other person's shoes, and I am willing to think about what the other person needs and cares about from the perspective of others, and how to convey information and make communication comfortable. Because of sincerity, I am also willing to take care of each other's emotions and feelings, think of others, and think of others. As Zweig wrote in The Broken Queen, "She was too young to know that all the gifts given by fate had already been priced in the dark." Good words are exchanged for gold and jade, and they really win everyone's hearts.