"Women are weak, but mothers are just." It is not easy for everyone to be a mother, and it is even harder for an elderly mother. Not to mention the narrow escape of having a child, just dealing with your own physical strength and energy is getting more and more tired, and taking care of the starving children is already self-care. In addition, there are a lot of trivial matters about the elderly, work and family on both sides, without external support and internal help. It's hard to talk about everything you do. But then again, for children, no matter how hard and tired they are, they are willing, but sometimes some things can't be solved by hard work, and some experiences make you feel ridiculous and want to cry.
00 1 title embarrassment
I take my son out, whether it's vaccination, kindergarten, extra-long classes or playing in the park, as long as I stop and wait, it's inevitable that parents will come to talk to me in various ways. It's been a long time, and I'm not surprised
The first one is good cultivation, high quality and tactful speech.
"Your child is really good. Excuse me, are you a child? " The other party is waiting for your answer in a long voice, which shows that she is afraid that once she makes a mistake, she will embarrass the other party. Every time this happens, I quickly answer the words: "I am the mother of the child." The other party gave a gentle "Ah" cry, probably saying "This mother is a little old" in her heart, but she wouldn't show it, and then changed the subject and took it lightly.
The second is straightforward, mindless and straightforward.
"Are you the child's grandmother?" "no" "that's the child's grandmother!" "Not really." "Is that a relative?" It's strange, why didn't you guess I was the mother of the child? In order to save time, I am also afraid that the other party will ask, "Is that the child's nanny?" I usually take the initiative to interrupt her: "I am the mother of the child."
The third kind seems to be a public security background, who likes to get to the bottom of the matter and speaks with confidence.
"Are you the child's grandmother or grandmother?" "No, I'm his mother." "Ah, that you are not young. Did you get married late? " Or "Are you the first or second child?" "How old are you?" In this case, I always falter and leave quickly.
Either way, it is almost impossible to guess that I am a mother. No wonder, for people who are married and have children in their forties, their children are all in high school or even college, and we are just beginning to be mothers. No matter what the reason, policy or yourself, since you choose to be an elderly woman, you will inevitably face such embarrassment, unless you can grow up backwards like Liu Xiaoqing and others.
002 social embarrassment
A few days ago, my husband's comrades-in-arms got together and asked his family to attend. There are eight families, only our children are still playing around. The youngest children in other families are in grade two. Long time no see, we had a lively chat. After a while, I turned to topics such as children's study, senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination. Because I am not familiar with these things, I am also willing to listen. Some family members are afraid that I will be left out in the cold and want to talk to me about my child, but either her memories of her childhood or her inquiries about my son's current situation can't explain other in-depth questions. I estimate that in a few years, this situation will be more serious. My children went to college, worked, and began to grow grass and flowers, and took sports and leisure trips. While I was busy sending my children to primary school and junior high school, there were even fewer topics of common concern.
After my son went to kindergarten, he made several good friends. Our parents also established corresponding contacts, organized activities together, picked strawberries together and took a bath in the sea together. It is not easy for children to have fun, but there is always a gap between our parents. Because there is a difference of ten years, there are differences in experience, energy, physical strength and views. It is impossible and unrealistic to further develop into girlfriends.
As elderly parents, our circle of friends is like a crossroads in school. We have three views and experiences with our peers, and children and education with young parents, but only a little. We can never reach the core of two circles, but we are drifting on the edge of two circles.
003 workplace embarrassment
Every time my best friend Cher tells me about her work, she looks aggrieved and helpless. Before giving birth to the second child, Xueer was already a middle-level leader of the unit, an absolute business backbone, and a red man in the eyes of the leader, which was an important candidate for promotion and appointment. After the second child policy was released, Cher hesitated again and again, and decided to use her age and figure to have another child to keep the boss company. After maternity leave, Cher returned to work, only to find that her position was far from the original. The adjustment of work from the original backbone department to the marginal department is also because of the nostalgia of the leader, which makes her still a small person in charge. At first, Cher dreamed of being reused, so she still worked hard and won many big prizes and small prizes, but the promotion of personnel was always isolated from her. Although every leader will list her name on it, it is only a foil and comfort, and the reason is very good: the child is so small that you need to take care of it wholeheartedly; In order to develop innovation, the unit needs young people who are enterprising and have room for development. Cher said, "I used to have everything, so everything I used to do was for nothing?"
The workplace, like a battlefield, needs lasting benefits. When you get into old age, the momentum is already doubtful, and being a mother is bound to ruin your future. It's kindness and upper limit to give you a position instead of expelling you from the unit. Even if you have the ability and do a good job, you can get a reward, but it's only 1800 RMB, but don't expect to be promoted again.
Everyone who decides to be a mother at an advanced age is determined to overcome all difficulties, but some things really have nothing to do with determination and hard work. For example, what makes people feel embarrassed about these embarrassments and changes in appellation, socialization and workplace?
If you are still in the ladies' room, then I suggest you seize the good times of youth, do whatever you want at any age, and get married and have children when you should get married; If you are an elderly mother, then calm down, face up to the reality and show your courage and wisdom to resolve all kinds of embarrassment you encounter. If you can survive, so much the better. If not, at least cultivate children into useful people. You should know how much opportunity cost you have paid, and most importantly, children are the best works of your life.