Sexy people: usually refer to successful people who are more in line with the mainstream of social values, handsome guys and beautiful women. To put it bluntly, when I am with him, I can't help but feel pressure and want to please him.

Lovely person: the most typical feature is that there will be no pressure around this person.

Sexy VS cute, in Zhuangzi's practice, is roughly such a concept.

Cute is an important factor in practice.

If the person you have sex with doesn't love him enough, can you persist emotionally for three to six hours?

Now, I sometimes have this question for human beings: Do people not love each other enough, so they don't want to stay in bed with each other for three hours?

Is this happening? I think there may be.

When we don't think each other is so cute, this thing will tend to end in a hurry, right?

When both men and women end up hastily, they just lose their exciting physical strength in the world of sympathetic nerves, but in fact there is no balance at all.

People who end up hastily, the man lost his kidney, the woman was depressed, and the pressure on the sympathetic nerve could not be alleviated, but it has been accumulating.

So, what will this person become?

The yin of sympathetic nerve keeps piling up. What kind of person are we talking about "sympathetic yin"? Generally speaking, people with excess of yin and sympathetic nerves are a kind of sex maniac and extremely lewd;

Poor resistance is one kind, and depression is also sympathetic yin.

In fact, there are still many people with depression, but he is not that kind of depression, but his life seems to be just empty. He goes to work when he should go to work, not particularly serious or not. When he came home from work, he pressed the remote control and sat in front of the TV to watch before going to bed.

This man says he is not depressed, but I think he is. Life has reached the realm of "emptiness", and nothing, vitality and enthusiasm are gone. There are quite a few such people now.

Our knowledge in China, if not traced back to the ancient idea of sexual intercourse, now people in China just think that "this is pornographic and harmful to the body and kidneys."

Indeed, at present, many people's sexual life is living in injury and renal failure, which is nothing to say.

When a man really feels "empty and rotten" in the process of one-time love, how can he thank his other half?

He probably only thinks that his other half lives on this earth, as if he is just here to exploit his juicer!

If we can finish this properly, we will probably feel that the other half is our own angel and goddess, right?

Because the results are different, so the mood is completely different!

If you get a broken body and a broken kidney today, of course you will find the other person annoying, but if you get a healthier, happier and stronger result, why not thank the other person?

| Yang Mi is solid.

In recent years, I have often heard people say that he is "bullied by sexual desire": he obviously has serious things to do and important life goals to achieve, but he is disturbed by sexual desire. He has been taking time to find someone to sleep or watch porn to masturbate, and his life is occupied by sex too much.

If this kind of thing is changed into the language of Chinese medicine, it will be like this: Chinese medicine believes that "the density of yang is solid", and if people's yang and vitality are more abundant and dense, they will be more stable and cohesive.

If a person's yang is weak, it is easier to float and sink. In the classics of traditional Chinese medicine, people who say that the yang is weak will be strong. The word "strong" is not a good state, but a kind of virtual excitement. Just like a person with qi deficiency, his heart will beat faster and his blood pressure will be higher. This is a compensatory reaction.

Physically, people with yang deficiency are prone to get angry, while those with yang deficiency are prone to lust.

If it is the kind of person who masturbates many times a day, or masturbates every day, once he has more yang and can unite, he will find that his sexual desire is gone.

I didn't think this theory was very important before, but later among my friends and teaching assistants, there were people who needed someone to have sex every day. They complained, "I spend time sleeping with people every day and can't get to the point."

Then I will say: Otherwise, you will moxibustion Guanyuan and Juegu. Take Shenqi Pill, Sini Decoction, Zhenwu Decoction (I didn't know how to use Chaihu Long Mu Decoction at that time, which could break the yin deficiency of sympathetic nerve, and only used Buyang. Now I can. I can see a doctor faster.

After eating moxibustion, they said, "It turns out that my previous sexual desires were all fake, and the more I make up, the less I make up!" That sexual desire is a phenomenon that happens when the yang is about to dissipate.

If the yang is concentrated, people in China call it "lead" or "mercury". Everything embodies Yang's heaviness and calmness.

Like a child, the yang is strong, the qi sinks, and there is a lot of energy in his feet and legs, so he runs when he walks: he is old, yang deficiency, high blood pressure, heavy hair, but his qi floats.

Therefore, before men get diabetes, before the yang disappears, they often take a mistress, and then a series of pathological changes occur. If you are the kind of person who has a strong sexual desire every day, it is only because you are too weak.

Before getting diabetes, women often live in a state of "only paying for others", as if they have too much love to settle down and care for themselves. That's also yang deficiency, so it's gone.

If a man's sexual desire becomes very eager to ejaculate, it is easy to ejaculate, only when people are empty; If it is difficult for a woman to reach orgasm during sex and she is not satisfied after it is done, it is also empty.

When dealing with a person's fatigue, such as diabetes, depression, anxiety, insomnia and so on. I would also advise this person not to ejaculate frequently, but basically it is more important to use tonic yang and moxibustion to make him "have no sexual desire".

Let this person realize that the "sexual desire that drives him to do such a thing" is indeed decreasing, so that he can be asked to abstain from sex. I don't like to make a person empty, just ask him to be depressed and celibate to save his life.

Because, a very empty person is just depressed, and often sympathetic nerves accumulate. So the more you endure, the more empty you become.

If you study Chinese medicine, you must be familiar with the treatment of yin deficiency and yang deficiency in order to handle it properly.

I taught those friends and teaching assistants this way, and I was afraid that he would become "living like dying embers", so I asked him, "Is it hard for him to be so sexless?" "They said," no, no! I am very happy now, because I finally have time to do what I should do. "

It turned out that their previous sexual feelings seemed to be forced, which disturbed his life and dragged down his life plan. They were always driven by his sexual desire, so they got rid of it comfortably.

You can also think for yourself, what is better? Being bullied by sexual desire can also be a bad thing, but it is not really "energetic". In this case, we humans have missed many more important things.

Most of us Chinese medicine practitioners can see this side of "lust hurts the body", so we should ask people to abstain from sex and not "ruin their lives"

Some people will say that if there is more sexual loss, people will become "frustrated", their personality will shrink, and they will stay at home as otaku and rotten women.

I don't think this statement is all wrong, but I think it should be viewed from two aspects: because I often see a person lose his will and shrink back, then become a homebody, and then lose control of his sexual desire.

If the problem of the whole personality pattern has not changed, it is useless to just suppress sexual desire.

The argument of abstinence for health preservation can also be said to be a very irresponsible lie, which is essentially a very immoral practice.

Because, some people, who have religious beliefs, have a "cleanliness" attitude towards sex, or live a spiritual life, or become monks, are active and determined not to touch pornography.

According to the theory of "abstinence for health", these people will be the healthiest group in human beings, right? As a result, on the contrary! Most of them are rotten to the bone!

I don't know what these people want to abstain from sex for.

| Vegetarian problem in the house

Vegetarian people, the art in the room, generally speaking, will become more difficult to practice.

Originally, we said that the skills in the room should be "prolonged as much as possible". People who don't eat meat don't have enough cholesterol. If they are in bed, they are easily "too hot to burn", which can also be said to be "dragging".

However, this "procrastination" is due to yang deficiency. In the end, the raw material of yang is insufficient, and the parasympathetic nerve still has no strength. The positive side is not yellow, and the negative side is boring.

If you ask me, it is a feeling of "too empty".

Such a person, of course, will feel that he has no sexual desire and is calm, but it is often not a kind of "transcendence", but just a virtual person, so he is "powerless and insensitive".

If you must be a vegetarian anyway, at least eat more nuts, coconut oil and cooking palm oil, and add a little cholesterol, which will be better.

Don't be too superstitious about the nutritional value of legumes. If you are weak, look in the mirror and you will know. When you drink soy milk, your tongue coating tends to thicken. In traditional Chinese medicine, it is said to be "dampness accumulation", which can also be said to be "indigestion, which hurts the spleen and stomach".

When the whole digestive function (Yang) is damaged, even the best nutrition (Yin) is useless. Vegetarians, as far as supplementing protein is concerned, are "Shen Si soup" made of yam and Euryale ferox, which has a good effect and is often better than soybean milk.

Soymilk is good for your health only if you are sure that you can digest it well.

Two possibilities of sexual energy development

If you are partners, I think "sex in the room" is something that needs to be done.

However, as I said just now, in the process of completing this matter, there is a condition that these two people must like each other enough to be together for more than three hours.

If not, the problem is simple: most of us modern people are not "cute" enough.

What is cuteness? For example, at home, people who like dogs touch dogs, and people who like cats hug cats. When they are full or have enough fun with cats, they just play at home. If you don't have anything special to do, will it be over after two hours?

I think it's okay for modern people to tease cats and dogs for two hours, but not to play with the other half for two hours. This is very strange. Where do people lose compared with cats or dogs? It's not cute enough to lose!

Do you know how unlovable human beings are?

In the two hours when you are lingering with him, you will feel: "The more you look at this person, the less cute it is. Humans are really not cute enough! If you chat with him, you will find: "The outlook on life is out of line! "And so on and so on will happen.

When we know a certain degree about a person, we often really don't feel as cute as holding a cat for two or three hours.

In this way, we can feel each other's cuteness more and more, and the more we look, the cuter we get. Seeing that your whole body is burning and connected with each other's energy, there is a great feeling of moving and gratitude, and it becomes very healthy sex?

Is it okay? Do you think we can?

Really healthy sex, it is not easy to find the right person, and it is not easy to satisfy with a person.

In fact, I am in favor of a practice: when two people know each other and have a good impression on each other, they will have sex, and during this period, they will strictly abide by the principle of three to five. If they find themselves delayed for two hours when they sleep, they won't feel anything in the end!

Then say "sorry, there is something wrong" to each other, exchange "good people cards" and be ordinary friends.

But at that point, we can't back down, because we are a right-wing society, and then you will feel "I should be responsible."

But "say sorry and change the cards" may be the least harmful way.

What if I still feel something after two hours? Then continue to enter the real sex. When practicing together, I feel that my whole body cells are burning and I feel extremely happy. That can be done for about six hours, right?

If you do this, you will find that you will not think about sex for four to eight months in a row. Your energy has moved to other places and entered other fields.

To practice the above in bed, human beings must first have the characteristics of "cuteness".

To put it more bluntly, it is the trait of "there will be no pressure around this person".

But nowadays, "cute" people are harder and harder to find. On the contrary, more and more people become "sexy".

Sexy and cute are actually a little funny: we generally think that "sexy people are winners" now, right? So everyone should go to the gym, exercise hard and lose weight.

But in the world of sex, sexy people are big losers. Why? Because this sexy thing will stimulate each other to end it quickly.

In other words, sexiness will stimulate the ejaculation impulse of the other party, which will lead to the result of "shorter sex".

But why do people who are obviously sexy are big losers, and now they all like to pursue sexy?

In bed, if you want to be a big winner, you must at least have the cuteness of a kitten and a puppy. So, I want to ask you, are you confident that you can do it?

Sexy and cute are related to the choice of development mode of human life energy.

If people come to this earth with a kind of life energy and wait for us to develop it, some of this very basic life energy will be called "sexual energy".

Ancient physicians and Taoists would think that sexual energy is something that human beings use to obtain health;

Even what human beings use to obtain the qualification of "monasticism", because we have to step into the world of parasympathetic nerves through this thing, so that we can be familiar with how to relax and how not to worry, thus accumulating yang. ...

The most basic training of monasticism is completed here.

Sex, in ancient classics, is such a good thing, a structure endowed by God with such a good function, but we modern people have ruined it.

In fact, the world that China people cultivate is a big battle between Yin and Yang, and we hope that the world will defeat the Yin world.

However, people nowadays are probably better off with yin than yang, which is relatively poor.

When our sexual energy is to be developed, there will be two possibilities of development: sexual energy will develop into sexy in the direction of yin, or cute in the direction of yang.

Therefore, we humans live on the earth, not to mention in houses. Whether a person can complete the growth of the soul in this life is also related to the choice of "sexy" and "cute".

If a person always lives in a state of anxiety, tension, worry and fear, then when choosing the development direction of energy, he is likely to choose something tangible, that is, "sexy."

What is sexy? That is not a person's "beauty and ugliness".

On the contrary, the average person will be influenced by the ideological trend of his time in concept, resulting in a concept of "what kind of people will be more attractive"

And if a person tries to reach the "model" given by "stereotype" and make his manners and appearance attractive to others, this is called the pursuit of "sexiness", that is, "deliberate attraction".

Because we all live in a world of yang deficiency and yin deficiency, we may all feel sexy.

Sexy seems to be very valuable and can be envied.

But if it is "cute", will it be pitiful and unloved?

Therefore, cuteness, for today's human beings, does not seem to have much meaning.

However, I'll give you some examples about sexy and cute choices. One hundred years ago, the British writer D.H. Lawrence wrote an article called Sex and Cuteness, and he tried very hard to touch on this issue.

In his time, it was very difficult for him to talk about it, because it was very difficult to talk about it, and there would be deviations if he was not careful. I think some examples in his article are quite accessible.

I think everyone has a sexy model in their mind. When this "model" appears in front of us, how do we feel when interacting with this person?

When we interact with a sexy person, our sympathetic nerves will be dominated by the person we feel sexy. What kind of feeling is that?

| Sexy, to put it bluntly, is that person's "power that can make us afraid."

When we meet a sexy person, we feel like "we were fascinated, got an electric shock, and then our hearts collided", right?

We mostly explain these feelings in a more positive way.

However, when we see our interaction with this person, we will find that "this person's request is obviously unreasonable. Why do we seem willing to compromise and accept his request?"

"He obviously didn't do anything good to us. Why do we become so diligent in courtship? Call him a taxi. When we get along with a sexy person, we will have these reactions "more".

Why do we suddenly have these "please" actions when we get along with him?

In fact, it is very simple, because this sexy thing, what is the message it sends to the other party? I am more attractive than you, so I have the right to hate you and look down on you.

Therefore, when a person is influenced by the other person's "sexiness", he will make a series of behaviors of "fear of being hated by the other person"; The so-called "fawn bumping" means "be swayed by considerations of gain and loss" and is a kind of "fear"

And this kind of sympathetic nervous tension is precisely related to every feeling of "sexual desire". A thing you don't like makes you "afraid" and you won't "have sexual desire" for it; However, when you are provoked by a person who "thinks you are attracted to him" and you admire him, sexual desire comes up.

Because in the process of interacting with him, he has been scaring you, and the sympathetic nerve has been increasing, and the hunger for sexual desire has been increasing. Knowing the feeling of being swayed by considerations of gain and loss makes you panic. Some people will regard this feeling as "falling in love" and "falling in love with someone".

Of course, not all love has this route, and I don't want to discredit human feelings like this. However, we also know such a mechanism.

In other words, sexy energy, from the perspective of strength, is the opposite of cute energy. It dominates each other with fear.

Of course, the way he takes is to make his figure or appearance a perfect or favorable image in the other person's mind, so as to take advantage of the inferiority consciousness that the other person has already stepped on him.

When we turn our appearance into the dominant image in the other person's mind, in fact, in the world of human consciousness, it will stimulate the sympathetic nerve and produce a "fear" reaction.

When the other person's appearance and behavior look perfect, like the standard of a movie star, naturally, people will have this kind of "submission to the authoritative role."

And "sexy" is not a pure physical trait; With the same appearance and personality, a "successful and rich" person is often "sexy".

Sexy benefits: control, which is what typical sympathetic nerves want. Pure yin without yang!

Two days ago, I heard that Professor Ding dated my niece, went to the kingdom to eat sukiyaki until he was full, and met the story of "Prince of Cabbage".

What they said was explicit: Uncle, Uncle, we met a handsome waiter in Cleisthenes! He is so handsome that the girl at the next table took him to take pictures! The man pushed the vegetable cart and asked us what we wanted.

We studied Chinese medicine and didn't eat so many vegetables. However, when he asked us "Do you want to increase cabbage", we didn't dare to refuse! As a result, I kept ordering cabbage until I got hurt. Wait a minute. Isn't Assistant Ding a boy? Even if you fall, why can't he resist? ""Uncle, you don't know, that cabbage prince is so handsome! Boys will be overwhelmed by him! " In the end, when he wanted to serve iced dessert, we couldn't eat any more, so we tried our best to tell him, "dessert … we … no, use it." 』

Wow, at that moment, his expression stinks and his face suddenly collapses! He may think that we have no power to resist him in the end, right? 」

A short story about the life of an idiot. However, this story also shows us what advantages a sexy person has in power.

However, having advantages does not mean having happiness.

No matter how sexy a female star is, if she is married, the person who needs to be beaten will still be beaten by her husband.

Sexy can only help you "attract a person". After being attracted, it depends on your personality and our "yang" part.

The same is true of human diplomas. "In the first three days of your first job" will be useful to you, and then everything will come out. Everything depends on strength and character, and education can't help us.

Diploma, sexy or not, are all things in the visible world and the yin world, so people nowadays are obsessed with this kind of thing.

But are these useful? I said: it's all dispensable. How can I spend a lot of time on making and maintaining products whose efficiency will depreciate and expire soon?

For me, tangible things and intangible things are safer to choose intangible things in the end.

On the contrary, what if we meet a lovely object? In other words, how do people choose lovely energy?

Actually cute, in today's society, it may not be as cheap as sexy people. Sexy people, whether male or female, have great momentum wherever they go, because everyone is trying to curry favor with him in a panic.

However, what kind of existence is a lovely person? For example, I once met a salesgirl in a restaurant or a lady who rented a bookstore. She is cute, fat and not sexy, but I think she is cute.

There is a lovely clerk there, but the whole store is actually "saved" because the atmosphere in that store will be very good, which will make people feel relaxed, comfortable and comfortable.

This lovely person may not be very polite and attentive to us, and may just treat us as buddies and friends, but the whole process will make us feel relaxed and warm.

Sexy people seem to have a feeling of "if you please me enough, I will give you some sweetness", just like holding something for ransom.

And the lovely words are: whether you like me or not, I have shared these comfortable feelings with you.

The example cited by Lawrence in this article is that if a boss, his female secretary, has "lovely" sexual energy, then the boss will be ignited by this energy and he will be serious and happy at work.

Therefore, the lovely female secretary has made great contributions to the economic development of mankind! Even a vase is actually a useful vase.

He thinks loveliness is a kind of "legitimate" sexual energy. But Lawrence also thinks that most modern people like to choose "evil" sexual energy, that is, "sexy": using sexual energy to gain power, control people, make themselves nervous with others and cut off their vitality.

I don't know what kind of people you think you can get along with for a lifetime. I think everyone wants something different.

However, as far as I am concerned, it is of course very important to be able to communicate in ideas and thinking, like-minded and so on. However, the first priority in my mind now is to "relax when getting along."

If I live under the same roof all my life-I don't want to be greedy, and I don't have to have a "soul mate", but if I get along with someone who will accumulate pressure, then I don't want it!

I think, if you think about your family, you can probably understand what kind of burden the "unable to relax" relationship has brought us.

Even the so-called "love" is still painful to live in if it is a relationship that causes pressure to the other party at that time.

The "care" of family members is often a stressful thing. Although we are embarrassed to say that it is wrong, we just can't get comfortable.

Even sometimes, when we are in a bad mood and encounter difficulties, we want to talk to someone. The object we will find is not necessarily the person who loves us the most and cares about us the most.

As the saying goes, "parents are always the last to know when children are in trouble." That's because the so-called listener, the less depressed he is, the more we can sort out his mood.

Only when he doesn't criticize can we reflect.

If he is in a hurry to make moral judgments and give suggestions, we will get stuck, look at his face, carefully adjust our speeches, and have no time to reflect on ourselves.

And it takes two "lovely" people to create a "relaxed" relationship.

| Why are people not cute?

It is possible for human sexual energy to develop into "sexy" and "cute", but we are used to living in a sympathetic world now, so most of us pursue sexy.

However, it is a pity that the artistic winner in the room must have lovely characteristics.

It can even be said that lovely characteristics are the basis of the art of practicing houses and various practices I know.

How can I put it? If there is a child at home, have we ever wondered when the child becomes unlovable?

It's when he starts to have a heart, it's when he starts to have a heart!

What is scheming? It is when people's behavior begins to be dominated by fear that their whole behavior pattern can't be cute-they break the vase and pretend not to know about it.

When humans begin to be caught by the sympathetic nervous system and lose their innocence, there is no way to be cute. This thing is to be practiced in life, and it can't be practiced just by lying in bed.

"Lovely" energy can only be produced if it is not dominated by fear and worry in life. Please note that I mean "behavior", not mood.

Emotionally, you can continue to be afraid, which is okay, but in behavior, it is quite difficult for you to face.

The topic of "Sexy and Cute" is an advanced course in the fifth of seven articles in Zhuangzi, and it is not the first thing just mentioned.

Zhuangzi explains this topic very simply, but this simplicity, simplicity ... is really beautiful! I think of all the books I have read, and no one can speak them as well as Zhuangzi.