Love takes a long photo "Mom, I didn't want you! It is my best choice to send my mother with dementia to a nursing home (interview/Xiao, Li Lingrong). If one day, my mother becomes unlike her mother, disowns her family and begins to "behave strangely"; You can't take care of it all day. How many choices do you have? Is it really unfilial to send parents to a nursing home? Mr. Lin sent his mother to a nursing home, where she lived for 10 years. During this period, he took on many criticisms about filial piety and relatives' incomprehension. But Mr. Lin knows very well-"Mom, I didn't want you. What he wants to do is to solve the family's predicament, not to be kidnapped by it. When the role of "proprietress" faded, Mr. Lin's mother, Ms. Eiko, jumped onto the stage with "lost heart". Ms. Eiko is the representative of Taiwan Province Province who insists on "checking people". Since her husband was a soldier for three years, she has worked hard to support more than a dozen people in the Lins' family. Before dawn, she goes out to buy and sell goods by bike. No matter whether it is sunny or stormy outside, she doesn't let herself have a day off. In fact, she is like a microcosm of the era of "economic take-off", pulling children to grow up step by step. Mr. Lin recalled that the family often didn't even have time to eat. Mom and dad save every penny they earn and start working before dawn. The family worked hard day after day until late at night. Clever and capable Ms. Eiko opened a grocer's number soon after her marriage, which was very colorful and covered all kinds of chores, so that her family was almost "unsmiling" and shivering. "Today's mother is completely different from before. Mr. Lin recalled to us in detail his mother's most glorious years. " In the past, there were no places for entertainment and assembly. Our' grocery store' always gathers a bunch of people here to watch TV and chat, which is always very lively. My mother, the proprietress, is also an important role in controlling the atmosphere. Although it is not easy to support the family and work hard, it also makes Ms. Eiko's life glow. However, the more progress is planned, the more the Lins just arrange. As a last resort, the iron rolling door of the grocery store was closed and the role of the proprietress was diluted. The stage seems to have turned off the lights, but they are depressed and at a loss, but they quietly enter the stage. After retirement, Ms. Eiko stayed at home all day, and it was difficult for her children to pull her out of the house. On the one hand, she is not used to going out voluntarily. Before she opened the iron gate of the grocery store, neighbors would take the initiative to approach. But the real reason is actually to save money. "Mom is a' bitter' person. Every penny should be just right. Spending money will make her feel guilty. Once, she finally pulled it out to play and ordered her a bowl of Wonton Noodles. She kept scolding us until the soup got cold. The reason is that Wonton Noodles is more expensive than Yangchun noodles, and she can't bear to pay ten dollars (even her children's money). She devoted her whole life to her family and work, but forgot to devote herself to herself. At the age of 63, Ms. Eiko began to show signs of "losing her mind", but it was not until the empty pot was repeatedly burned that the family realized that "mom has become different." "Two years ago, Lin's father, who loved his wife, worked as a 24-hour nurse, but how to take care of it was wrong. Dad thinks that mom has always loved "Oubei * * *" (Taiwanese: nonsense) and conflicts are constantly staged. " How could you forget? I told you to be patient. Why can't you help it? "Father Lin often blushes with anger. Who knows, the behavior that most people can't understand is the pain of being unable to get along with dementia patients. "Later, a foreign nurse was invited, but the time and frequency of her leave became longer and longer. She didn't find her mother lost and fell. After a long time, we feel increasingly insecure in our hearts, and feel that it may not be feasible to hire foreign nurses for a long time. When the mother's dementia became more and more serious, the Lins, who tried their best, felt exhausted. What should we do next? Mr. Lin's problem is also a dilemma faced by many families with mental retardation. Won't other family members object to sending mom to an old-age care institution? "Yes, of course, my father and I told them to come to me. Other relatives and elders in the family will also think: It is better to take my mother home and take turns to take care of several brothers and sisters. " However, just because my mother suddenly fell ill unexpectedly, it is difficult for everyone to take time out to take care of her, let alone maintain a' shift' life forever. I also watched a lot of "I raised you so big, you don't want me?" "This article, the in the mind won't feel guilty? Of course, but we have to figure out what true filial piety is. " The filial piety I agree with in my heart is that we should love our parents from the heart and judge what is best for the whole family, father and mother, and we should all do it. This is the real filial piety. Is it really the best arrangement to follow everyone's evaluation? I don't think so. ""who will be tired of doing what they can't do? Pain. Who is it? Are you only doing this because "others think it's filial piety"? Whenever Mr. Lin is free, he will accompany his mother, push her wheelchair and take her. Sometimes she will go for a walk in the park near the nursing home, and sometimes she will take the "543" (chat) and walk all the way to a far, far place. Sometimes she will take her mother to taste her favorite ice cream-"as long as she smiles when eating ice cream, everything is worth it." But this is a secret, don't let the nurses in the organization know. Even my mother's "immediate wish" will come true, and my mother will go to sleep with a smile in the mood of "going hiking tomorrow". "Dad is very old, both physically and emotionally, there should be no such a big burden. I let my father know that my mother is being taken good care of now; Otherwise, my father will collapse and I will collapse. Teacher Lin said that true filial piety is not a courageous act, but a quality company; Do your best, don't bite off more than you can chew. The way for couples to love each other for a long time-keep their promises "Only when time and space are out of order will mom clamor to go home because she thinks the gas is still on and the dishes haven't been washed". But many times, she regards the nursing home as her own company, and she is still the "respected proprietress". Although my mother is insane, she is emotionally stable, which is my greatest comfort. " But she often misunderstood why dad didn't sleep beside him and went outside to find a woman. Mr. Lin said with a smile, my mother thought that my father had a mistress and that she was a traditional woman, so she had to put up with it silently. Although Ms. Eiko often "writes" various plays, Lin's father is infatuated with Ms. Eiko. They have been married for more than 60 years. During the ten years that Ms. Eiko lived in a nursing home, she rode her bike from Waishuangxi to Songshan nursing home every day, rain or shine. She has to meet her, talk and chat with her, almost nonstop for 365 days a year. Unless Lin's father has something extremely important to delay himself, he must insist on caring for his wife. Even the medical staff exclaimed Lin's punctuality-"The most romantic thing is to grow old with you. This year, the couple were also elected as "golden wedding representatives". "Few people are born to like being a nurse. Thanks to their tolerance, Mr. Lin chose the newly established nursing home with the most novel equipment at that time. " I liked it at first sight. My mother is now a "senior resident" in a nursing home, and she has encountered many disrespectful words and other "residents". "I always say to my mother,' Ignore them'. There are even some residents who don't want them to visit often. " I think our family is so happy that it is really hard to see it in the eyes of other elderly people who are not visited. Finally, he wants to say thank you to the nursing staff and foreign nursing workers in nursing homes: "Few people are born nurses. It's really hard to take care of so many people by yourself. As a family member of elderly residents, Mr. Lin also put forward some suggestions of his own. " I hope there will be more well-equipped nursing homes for the elderly in Taiwan Province Province, so that they can live well and safely, and let us rest assured. I also hope that more activities can be held in the hospital, so that every resident can participate, and the atmosphere is lively and pleasant, which can reduce idle time. For Mr. Lin's family, sending his mother to a nursing home not only allows his father to understand and accept his mother's dementia by observing other residents: there is nothing wrong with his mother, blame the disease! It also gave my family more breathing space, my father found his own value in life, and I continued to be my green angel (postman). Most importantly, with the care of the organization and the uninterrupted companionship of the family, my mother smiles more and more. After losing her mind, Ms. Eiko seems to have bid farewell to her shrewd self, but has reshaped another happy life. "My mother has any whimsical plots or wishes, so I will play with her. My father, brother, sister and all my family will come to accompany my mother spontaneously. This is the most important thing for us. Don't live under the pressure of others. Every family's happy script is a real performance once in a lifetime. Love photo editing team, the most practical integration of health care, emotional support, disease knowledge and social resources, we are a professional team standing with caregivers, don't forget-"silver hair care, find love photos"! Go from here >> Ailong photo fan page, Ailong photo platform