Our school used to be very narrow! I still remember when we were in preschool, we had classes in a small bungalow with tiles on the roof. If we are not careful, the tiles will fall off. When it rains, all students must take umbrellas to class. If they don't take an umbrella, they will definitely become a "drowned rat"! At that time, the school gate was made of inferior iron, and it rusted when you touched it! I can't even see the name of the school! At that time, the school floor was covered with sand. As long as the wind blows, all the sand will blow into your eyes! What I hate most is the smelly toilet! The walls of the toilet are all black, and this kind of stain is everywhere. That smell really makes people want to vomit!
However, after several years of changes, our school has been transformed, and the changes are amazing!
Now, the gate of our school has been changed from rusty iron gate to convenient and simple electric gate. Above the school gate, there are several glittering Chinese characters engraved in Zhanjiang No.11 Primary School, which are particularly dazzling! Walking into the school gate, two rows of coconut trees are juxtaposed on the path leading to the new teaching building. The pitted sand has all turned into clean concrete, and a tree-lined botanical garden has been built in the west of the school, where you can enjoy the moisture of greening! In front of the botanical garden is a big stage. Every New Year's Day, students will perform wonderful programs on the stage.
There are also two basketball courts, a court and several popsicle tables in the school. On this side of the new teaching building, there are toilets on each floor, which are very clean and have no peculiar smell.
Now, there are only these changes in our school for the time being, but I believe our campus will become more and more colorful like a colorful flower!
Expert comments:
This composition reflects that "everything in the world is constantly developing and changing, society is changing, families are changing, and schools are changing", "Our campus will be more and more colorful like a colorful flower", and the theme is prominent. The narrative is coherent and clear.
My school is located in the middle of Pingluo County, Shizuishan City, Ningxia Hui Autonomous Region. It is famous for its long history and beautiful environment.
When I walked into my school, I saw a statue sprouting in spring with several white pigeons on it, showing a peaceful scene. Its moral is to let us thrive in the embrace of spring like spring buds.
Walking through the spring buds, the most conspicuous thing is the comprehensive building. On the wall of the complex building, there is a 100-meter picture scroll, all of which are painted by students themselves. There are computer classrooms, music classrooms, reading rooms, etc ... All these are places that children like to come.
Next to the comprehensive building is the teaching building, where we study, with classrooms and teachers' offices. When you pass the classroom, you can hear the students reading loudly. When you pass by the office, you can see the teacher tirelessly correcting our homework through the window.
Behind the complex is our back playground, with a plastic track and a football field. It is said that this playground cost the Education Bureau millions!
There are several flower beds in my school, including white orchids, bright red peony flowers and golden chrysanthemums. My school is not as good as it is now. There is almost nothing in the whole school except the comprehensive building, office building and teaching building.
In a word, my school has undergone earth-shaking changes. After listening to my introduction, do you like your old school or your present school? I like the school now.
Let me use a paragraph to describe the present school!
Such a school reflects such flowers, and such flowers reflect such a school. Coupled with the singing of birds in the air and the laughter of students, it is really a hundred flowers blooming and smiling like flowers!
Expert comments:
This is an excellent composition with vivid language. This paper vividly wrote "the school has changed" in easy-to-understand language. The author grasped the different characteristics of buildings in all directions of the campus, wrote the beautiful scenery of the campus in detail and expressed the author's love for the school.
The change of small maple On the hillside, a small maple tree is growing quietly.
In the spring of March, when it is full of sunshine and vitality, the small maple tree begins to grow in the new year. The sun shines on it, and the warm feeling spreads from the roots to the treetops. Inspired by the green grass under her feet, Little Maple tried to grow its first leaf this year. Two, three, four ... It keeps growing, trying to grow faster than its peers. Small maple trees have had a vibrant season.
In summer, the trees are lush, the sun is like fire, and the small maple trees become more lush. Its leaves are thicker and bigger than before, its branches are thicker and its veins are more prominent and clear. Little maple is very excited. It saw that it grew more luxuriantly, so it grew harder. Cicada climbed to its waist, played a trio loudly, and birds played on its head. For small maple trees, summer is more intense, which is completely different from spring. It spent a lush summer.
Autumn is crisp and the sky is high and the clouds are light. This season, small maple trees are particularly charming. Every leaf of a small maple tree has turned fiery red, just like the tail of a goldfish. From a distance, the leaves look like red flames. Against the backdrop of other yellow trees, the small maple tree is more vivid. I feel that the branches under the beautiful dark red leaves are getting stronger and stronger, and the roots buried under the soil are growing deeper and deeper.
In the cold winter, although the leaves of the small maple tree are swept bare by the wind, although the wind keeps rolling up the fallen leaves and flapping mercilessly, even if the heavy snow makes it breathless, the small maple tree still stands in the snow. Under the heavy snow, the small maple tree is accumulating strength and looking forward to the next spring. ...
Time goes by, maple grows!
Time goes by and life flows!
Expert comments:
In vivid language, according to the order of spring, summer, autumn and winter, this paper describes the growth state of Xiaofeng, shows the charm of Xiaofeng at various stages, and also expresses the author's sigh over the passage of time and the flow of life!
Changes in my hometown The cock's harsh long crow reminds you to get up. At first glance, cement bricks are around, and the wet cement floor seems to laugh at your helplessness ... When you go to school, no matter whether your parents are windy or rainy, who will accompany you through those muddy mountain roads! At home, the dark cabin gives people a sad sigh. When it rains, the scratching raindrops hit you one by one when you learn to think. At this time, you can only accept and face it helplessly. Especially in winter, the bed at home is as cold as ice. I'm afraid my frozen hands at school are even a trouble to hold a pen! So what? Painful complaints and poor helplessness are so far away from modern civilization.
It's changed, and everything is progressing!
When Rinrin's alarm clock wakes you up from your sleep, what you see is a modern chandelier. White walls are displayed around, and exquisite wooden floors seem to cheer for your new day ... When I was at school, my mother held an umbrella for me in the rain and held my heart with her warm hands, which was very warm! When I got home, my mother had cooked a delicious meal. I can't help but want to have a bite just by smelling the fragrance. I can't even believe this is true! The spacious road outside the house replaced the muddy mountain road in the past. Walking on the road covered with towering trees, breathing the fresher air than before. Looking at the Mercedes-Benz car next to you, think about the bicycle that always falls off the chain. It's really different! Modern civilization is so real and backward countryside is so far away. ...
Who made poor and backward rural areas so advanced? How the changes in the countryside are like a microcosm of the progress of the motherland! With this in mind, I will study harder and return to the countryside, hometown and our great motherland!
Expert comments:
The author's feelings are expressed at the end, so I will study harder and repay my motherland, my hometown and our great motherland! "It has changed, and the progress of everything has been presented!" Play the role of connecting the preceding with the following, but work hard on the language.
Changing Zhuhai This year, after winning the titles of "the most beautiful city", "livable city" and "the happiest city", Zhuhai once again ranked second in the "Top Ten Quality Living Cities in 20 13" with high scores. In addition to being suitable for health, Zhuhai is becoming more and more like a "smart city"! I like watching the air pollution index in the news best, because the air in Zhuhai will always belong to a rare and excellent area. In the early morning, the crowds and cars in the street are constantly flowing, the market is surrounded by the cries of vendors, and the warm sunshine shines down. Looking down from the air, the car looks like a silver dragon; At night, the neon lights are on, the car lights are on, and the lights of every household are on. Zhuhai has become a city that never sleeps. Looking down from the sky, neon lights are like ribbons, and there is a river of gold and silver flowing in the middle. Let me take Shanchang Village as an example. In the past, in my impression, Shanchang Village was just a few bare grasslands, several low mountains and sparse young trees. I have passed here countless times since I was a child, and I have never got off the bus to play. Recently, at my strong request, my father agreed to get off and have a look. It turns out that 34 cliff carvings in Shanchang Village have been listed as cultural relics protection units in Guangdong Province. In order to better protect this precious cultural heritage, the government invested heavily in building a leisure park with the theme of stone carving culture-Xishi Park. As soon as we entered the park, rows of osmanthus trees lined with small yellow flowers, beside which were blooming Mao Dujuan, and in the distance were dense bamboo forests. The water lilies in the pond are quietly blooming with pink flowers ... Let's cherish and cherish the beautiful Zhuhai, fulfill the obligations and responsibilities of citizens and add luster to our home!
Expert comments:
Incomplete structure, boring language
New changes in hometown. You have to ask me how beautiful heaven is. I don't know. If you want to ask me where the loveliest place in the world is, I will tell you loudly. In my heart, it is my hometown-Hengshan Bridge in Wujin District, Changzhou City.
I used to like it because it was the place where I was born and raised. Now, I love it more, because it has changed, and the rapid change can be described as "a small change every year, a big change every three years", which makes me want to throw myself into its arms.
I remember when I was a child, I had a 25-inch TV set at home, and I was very excited. Now, my home has been replaced by a 43-inch LCD ultra-thin color TV, and my laptop has also settled in my home. When we were young, we all went out on foot or by bike. Now, the era of motorcycles is gone forever, and family cars have entered thousands of households. When I was a child, the road in front of my house was bumpy and difficult to walk, but now the flat asphalt avenue extends in all directions and many high-rise buildings have sprung up. ...
Thanks to the efforts of government leaders, a few years ago, BRT was connected in our hometown, making it more convenient for people to travel. With the improvement of living standards, the quality of people in their hometown has also improved, and their spiritual life has become richer. Listen, cheerful fitness dance music is playing. Look, the villagers come to the square in droves to dance and exercise, and their faces are filled with happiness. ...
Change, everything is changing. What are the reasons for the great changes in my hometown? That's due to the wise leadership of * * *. It is the spring breeze of reform and opening up that blows the motherland alive and makes the lives of people in their hometown blossom like sesame seeds.
The charm of hometown goes far beyond this. I look forward to a better tomorrow for her! My friend, welcome, welcome!
Expert comments:
The description is not vivid and the expression is not literary.
A changing new semester, new changes. The Chinese teacher has made adjustments and added a new subject-physics. There is a new teacher and a new deskmate. New teachers, new subjects. Strange, brand-new These are all changing, but I have not wavered, and my heart is still so naive and romantic. Everything around me is urging me to change, and I must change.
A grass must have the courage to break through the ground to see the light; A flower has to go through the hardships of growth to see the light; Then a person can shine only after being baptized by sweat and tears. I hope to change myself this school year and strive to break through myself. I believe that as long as there are hopes and dreams, life will become more exciting, more confident and more complete!
The footprint of growth, the love of relatives, the support of teachers and the help of classmates. Happy and healthy growth here will inevitably lead to funny things, which will make us grow up happily. I remember one rainy day, I saw children wearing colorful raincoats. I can't help but want to see what they are playing with so many people. Out of the classroom, I suddenly remembered that the teacher wouldn't let me go out, but I couldn't help but want to have a look, so I rushed out with luck. Because the ground is too slippery, I am afraid of flying too fast. When! Suddenly I kissed Mother Earth fiercely. After the kiss, I had a terrible pain in my mouth and began to cry. The teacher quickly helped me up and cleaned me up. After that, the teachers all laughed their heads off. I mean my teeth, look in the mirror, ah! ! The front teeth are missing. I became an "old woman" I quickly asked the teacher if my hair turned white. The teacher asked me why I said that, and I said that my hair had lost, but it didn't turn white. So are other old ladies. The teachers even laughed from ear to ear.
Growth is an indispensable process in life.
Expert comments:
The expression is not literary, and the theme is not deepened properly
Before dad changed, dad loved smoking and drinking.
The most serious thing about him is smoking. He smokes four or five packs of cigarettes every day. My mother is so smoked that she strongly protests against him, but where is my father? Still can't quit.
But you know what? Dad has changed recently. Why? One day, when I was watching TV, I saw an advertisement for smoking. I saw a smoker's lung on it. That's 20 years of lung suction. The lungs are all black. How horrible is it? When I think of my father, it's like I've been smoking for twenty years. At that time, I didn't want my father's lungs to look like that. In those months, I have been trying to make my father smoke less, and I have thought a lot about keeping cigarettes and hiding cigarette cases.
None of those methods made dad quit smoking, but God never shuts one door but he opens another. I put up a billboard on my way after school every day with the theme' Please don't smoke for the health of my family'. On that day, our school also issued a propaganda newspaper about a girl's father who loves smoking. The girl smells that smoke every day. One day, she coughed badly. Her mother took her to the hospital for examination, and the result was incurable.
The doctor asked the reason several times. Her mother just didn't say anything until she finally said it was because her father smoked. I told this story to my father, who was surprised and made up his mind not to smoke so much.
But dad didn't smoke for a few days and couldn't help smoking again. I asked my father to pick me up and point to the advertisement. Look at that thing, dad. It's terrible. Be careful when it becomes like that. I have said this for over a month. My dad finally got scared and stopped smoking for several days. I watch it every day. He hasn't smoked for a month. He used to smoke several packs of cigarettes a day, but now he can't smoke one pack a week. Dad has changed so much; I smoke so little, although I haven't completely given up smoking. But my mother and I are happy for my father's change.
Expert comments:
The sentence is not fluent and the center is not prominent.
Changes in my hometown On Sunday, it was sunny and sunny. As usual, after breakfast, I came to my desk and tried my best to do my homework. Suddenly I felt that everything around me was quiet, only the clock was ticking. Strange? Where are the car bells, horns and bargaining sounds? Is there nobody on the road or in the market? I immediately squatted on the windowsill and looked out. As in the past, cars, motorcycles, bicycles and pedestrians come and go on the road. There are many people selling meat, noodles, selling groceries and shoes in the market. This is even more strange because my family lives on the second floor. There is a main road in front of the building and a vegetable market behind it. Especially on Sundays, car bells, horns, bidding and bargaining are intertwined and constantly spread to our home. Even if the doors and windows are closed, it is difficult to escape these harsh sounds. But now, there is no sound at all. I rushed downstairs to the road without doing my homework.
The road is clean, without a piece of waste paper, let alone a leaf; Cars, motorcycles and bicycles keep a certain distance along their respective tracks and run in an orderly way. Pedestrians walk calmly on the sidewalk, and no one overtakes or grabs the road. Look at the roadside again, the trunk is painted with white lime, like wearing white trousers, and the crown is lush, like handfuls of green velvet umbrellas. Many flower beds have been built on the green grass in the distance, which are diamond-shaped, round and square, full of bright flowers: bunches of red and purple chrysanthemums, golden dragon's claw phoenix, light blue iris, white daffodils and various patterns.
I'm confused about how all this got so good. I looked up and saw a banner that read: Strive to be a civilized citizen and strive for a national health city, oh! I see, people in the city are talking about hygiene and civilization.
Expert comments:
The language is dull, unable to describe, and the details are inappropriate.
Changes in my hometown fly, and time flies. Every day, my hometown is changing with each passing day unconsciously. Let me tell you something!
In the past, the paths in my hometown were full of potholes and dust everywhere. The dilapidated earthen house will even leak in rainy days; At that time, there was a black and white TV at home, and other family members came to watch TV together. If you go out, there is only one means of transportation, that is, feet. If you have a bike, you will be the richest man. Moreover, at that time, only wealthy families could have a meal on holidays; Even if you buy a towel, you have to walk a long way to see a shop; There is a pile of garbage floating on the river in the distance, which smells bad; If you want to cross the river, you can only row by hand, which is time-consuming and laborious. The economic situation at that time can only be described in one word: poverty and backwardness.
Now, concrete floors are everywhere in the countryside; Foreign buildings have mushroomed, replacing the dilapidated earthen houses; Moreover, every household has high-tech products such as mobile phones, computers and televisions, and every household has motorcycles and even cars, which is much more convenient to move; Eating big fish and meat every day can make you rich; There are several supermarkets in the country, which makes it much more convenient for adults and children to buy things. Look, how happy the children are playing with the toys bought from the store! Even the river is much cleaner, and geese swim freely on the river; Many children are also playing happily on the bridge and riding scooters, not to mention how happy they are; Moreover, people in rural areas have become rich, and people in rural areas are no longer poor. How wonderful!
I am filled with joy when I see the changes in my hometown. The roads, buildings and people in my hometown are shining in the afterglow of the sunset, and I can't help thinking, "hometown, you are so beautiful!" " "
Expert comments:
Can't describe