Damei is 37 years old. Seeing that the Chinese New Year is coming in a few months, I can't help worrying that I am still single. However, Damei was in a hurry. Her mother is more anxious than she is. She has been out all day asking people to introduce her daughter, and even been to the blind date corner in Liancheng city.
Damei's mother learned through a friend that a single man in his 40 s, although the other person is not young in his 40 s, has been working as a technician in a local factory. His income is not enough, but more than enough. This man is a foreigner, but he has been working in the local area since he graduated from college, which is considered to be rooted in the local area.
As soon as Big Sister heard that the conditions were ok, she asked the matchmaker to tell her that her daughter was a 37-year-old girl, unmarried and childless. She is engaged in administrative work in a local enterprise, and her home is local. If she thinks it is suitable, she can invite men and women from both sides to meet.
Soon the other party sent word that they would like to meet at the weekend, so Damei told her daughter the good news and asked her to take time to meet at the weekend. Don't forget to dress up and make a first impression on each other. Damei has repeatedly promised to show her best side to her mother.
At the weekend, two people arrived at a local coffee shop as agreed in advance. After greeting, the other party said he was a man out of courtesy, but he was more polite. He introduced himself. In addition to what Damei learned through the matchmaker before, the other party added that his family is in the countryside, and an older brother and a younger sister are married, that is, he is single and his parents are farming in his hometown.
After the other party introduced his own situation, he did not forget to praise Damei. She thinks Damei has a lot of temperament and is her favorite type. I hope they can give each other a chance to get to know each other. Damei nodded frequently while listening. After the other party finished speaking, Damei also briefly introduced herself and her parents, and said that she would like to take the liberty to ask why the other party is still single at the age of 40 this year. What is the reason? I hope she can understand.
The other person is very calm and says that his family is not very good. After graduating from college, he came to the local area and worked as a technician in a factory. The technician said that he is engaged in technology, but his income is not very high. His parents are farmers in their hometown, and his brothers and sisters also have their own families, and their jobs are average. Therefore, he is still single, not because he is picky, but because the other party is too realistic. At the last minute, the other party paused and said that he wanted to tell the truth. I got it.
Seeing that the other party is so frank, Damei bluntly said: "I don't ask for much. The most important thing is to look at people I have a good personality. Getting along with two people is the most important thing. Material conditions cannot be said to be ignored. After all, with family to eat, romance can't fill your stomach. As for the material requirements, I think it is good to reach the general level. "
"Excuse me, what do you mean by average? Can you quantify it specifically? "
"First, you have to have a house in the local area, you don't need a villa or something, even if the top is at least three rooms and one living room, but you don't have a mortgage. After all, I relaxed the conditions to high-rise residential areas, and we are all around 40 years old. If you have another mortgage, you can't have children in the future. After all, time is a luxury for me. Second, I have a master's degree, and I hope my partner is at least an undergraduate.
After Damei said this, the other person's face was obviously different: "Sorry to interrupt, I don't meet all the requirements. First of all, I graduated from a junior college, and my education can't meet your requirements. Secondly, the cheapest resettlement houses in your area are all over 20 thousand. To tell the truth, I have been renting a house and have savings in my hand. But buying a house in full is tantamount to a fantasy for me. Finally, if I take the liberty, I "
The other party went straight away without looking back, leaving Damei alone in a mess: "Who are you?" There is no manners at all, and even the basic conditions cannot be met at this point. I dare to come over on a blind date and talk wildly. No wonder you can't get a wife at 40. This kind of man is estimated to be like this all his life. "
The root cause of this outcome is that demand and status quo can't match. Damei wants a house without a mortgage and needs education to match it. Before drawing a conclusion, we need to examine the positions and angles of different characters, so as to look at the problem more objectively.
From the woman's point of view, Damei made two demands. The first one is actually that she wants to have a basic guarantee for her future life, which is really understandable. After all, as a woman who is almost 40 years old, she definitely wants stability. Although the house is a building without feelings, for women, the house is a home to some extent, a harbor that can bring warmth to themselves.
Young women have the time and capital to repay the mortgage with the poor boy, but for a 37-year-old woman, there is no second 37-year-old to squander, so stability is urgently needed. It is difficult for her to accept the insecurity caused by mortgage repayment. If she marries for the sake of marriage and lives a frugal mortgage life from now on, maybe she would rather choose the latter than be single.
As for the second question of academic qualifications, it seems to be a cultural match, but the hidden message behind it is actually to ask * * * to speak the same language. Although there are many love chicken soups that show that academic qualifications are not a problem, the reality is not the case. It turns out that couples with great differences in academic qualifications are more likely to have certain obstacles in communication and even values, which is a bit like a chicken talking with a duck. Therefore, it seems that the requirements of academic qualifications matching are also based on their own objective needs.
From a man's point of view, a 40-year-old man is still wandering in a city. At first glance, he is a failure. In fact, he represents some similar people. In this city, I believe there are thousands of him in a similar situation. Adult life is really not easy. Sometimes it's hard to find a house or a simple place to live, and the lament that the heart is willing but unable comes from the heart of a 40-year-old adult.
The dilemma of living without tile has hindered the marriage of many blind date. For this man, he really may have tried his best. He can't meet each other's life requirements, but it is a reasonable and objective requirement for the woman. The two reasonable explanations have become conflicting, which is quite negative.
About * * * the same language, although there is a certain positive correlation with academic qualifications, sometimes it is not so positive and needs to be understood in real life. Maybe some good qualities in the other person will become the highlights, and some unique values in the other person will become the highlights that touch them. These are inconclusive. The complexity of love lies in that everyone is different. The standard is dead, people are alive, no standard is suitable for everyone, and no one can suit all standards.
For blind date, whether it is successful or not, all we need is to stick to our original intention and find that person according to our own needs. Only we know what kind of people we want. Even in the face of differences, we all have reasonable reasons, but love is irrational and the reasons are pale in front of love. Pass is the most cold-blooded and realistic choice.