How difficult is it to marry a daughter-in-law in the countryside now? It is inconceivable that there are no witnesses.
Uncle Zhang in this village has four sons and three daughters. The youngest two are both sons. When Uncle Zhang was seventy years old, all the other children were married, but his old wish came true, but his youngest son was almost thirty, and he was alone. Uncle Zhang, who no longer has the ability to create more hardware for his youngest son's marriage, knew that his family was poor and it was difficult to attract girls to get married, so he let his son overcome his vanity and automatically lowered his posture and married a second-married woman of 3 1 year old. Although the matchmaker warned Uncle Zhang before marriage, this woman is lazy, greedy and fat, and can't do rural work at all. Uncle Zhang Can just ignored it. Uncle Zhang knows very well that once a boy passes the 30 mark, the chances of getting married are even lower. He is old and his wife has been dead for many years. As long as the youngest son becomes a family and his hands are scattered, he will have no worries.
One year after marriage, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a son as she wished. Uncle Zhang is naturally beaming, and he can do the housework that his daughter-in-law doesn't do, but he won't care. It's just that the lazy daughter-in-law sometimes doesn't want to live in the country, but always runs to the city and rents a suite in the city, which is convenient for living in the city. Uncle Zhang doesn't agree with this wasteful behavior, but it's not easy to complain. After all, his son bears all the rent.
If Uncle Zhang's son has been in good health, it is not too hard to support three people by himself. It happened that when the child was three years old, the father of the child was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer.
Faced with such a sudden change of fate, the strong uncle Zhang Can could do nothing but ask his other children to help him save as much as possible, and then mobilize relatives and friends to donate. However, the disease is so powerful that it cannot be stopped by the power of love. Soon, the young man's body became exhausted. Less than a year, only hatred, yin and yang separated.
The daughter-in-law, who suffered the loss of her husband again, saved the three-year-old boy, but did not ask for remarriage. Just for the sake of rural subsistence allowances, I took my son with peace of mind.
It is said that being a mother is just a woman who has lost her source of income, but she is still lazy. The cost of subsistence allowances is definitely not enough. In order to reassure his daughter-in-law to stay at home and take care of her grandson, Uncle Zhang Can only gives financial and material help and tries his best to meet her daughter-in-law's requirements. Now, although several years have passed and the children have entered the semester, there is still no sign of women going out to make money. It's just that Uncle Zhang's other children are in trouble. They have to help from time to time for my nephew's sake.
Uncle Zhang is getting older and older, and he is unable to cope with it every year. He thinks this little grandson is still so young, and he wants to train a useful person from a long-term perspective, but he is so cowardly that he only knows how to play with food. He was only sad when he thought of his son who died in the grave at a young age.
This is also the living conditions of some second-married women in rural areas! I only know how to enjoy myself and have no plans for the future. I throw all the burdens of life to men and squeeze them to the maximum. The reason is that this is also a punishment and reflection on the concept of son preference in many families in the last century.
Some women in rural areas are still influenced by the traditional ideas of the elderly in the past. I once heard a post-80s woman tell me the reason why she didn't go to work: marry a Han nationality, dress and eat. She thinks that women marry to be raised by men.
In fact, the subject of this problem is only an individual phenomenon. There are several second-married women in our village who work harder than the first-married women. They have experienced a failed marriage, so they want to manage a second marriage. Those women who don't go to work, do housework and like to drop in, are people that everyone in the village doesn't like. No, they are born, so they like and are used to such a comfortable life, whether it is the first marriage or the second marriage.
There is such a woman in Zhaojiacun who lived by beauty when she was young, and even gave birth to a daughter in the case of fame and fortune. Later, when she was in her thirties, she couldn't eat that bowl of rice, so she married Zhao Da, a bachelor in Zhaojiacun. Zhao Da was originally a lazy man. One reason why she can't marry a daughter-in-law is that she is not good-looking and the other reason is that she is lazy.
After Zhao Da married his daughter-in-law, virtuous women still lived a chic life of playing mahjong during the day and going home to rest at night. They don't go to work or do housework. In addition to giving Zhao a son, they almost came to support the elderly. It is said that after Zhao Da got married, his daughter-in-law didn't have a job, but she could manage Zhao Da's job. Zhao Da's lazy muscles were suddenly removed by her daughter-in-law. Besides working in the mine, she has to farm and do housework.
One autumn, Zhao Da worked the night shift in the mine. I go to the fields to collect peanuts during the day, I have to work at night, and I have to take time to cook for my daughter-in-law who plays mahjong. The women in the village gave Zhao Da's wife a thumbs-up and admired her husband's medical skills.
Another married woman has a leaf in her name. Just call her uncle. Grandpa was married to Zhaojiacun in his thirties. Her husband died unexpectedly, leaving her and her five-year-old daughter, so the uncle remarried to Zhao Er, and Zhao Er's daughter-in-law also died in Zhaojiacun. Zhao Er is a hard-working person, but also a violent person. He is the kind of person who gets angry when he lights a cigarette.
When grandpa first got married, he couldn't stand Zhao Er's bad temper, but he didn't want to go through another marriage. Therefore, every day, besides going to work, Grandpa tries to do all the housework at home without delaying farm work, and is rated as the best woman and the most capable woman by the old people in Zhaojiacun. With the passage of time, Zhao Er and Daye have almost run in. Zhao Er also thought it was a blessing to marry such a daughter-in-law in his second marriage, so he calmed down and lived an ordinary life with Daye An 'an.
Looking around the countryside, the married women mentioned by the subject are those rural single women in their fifties and sixties in 2000. When these women remarry, they ask for retired people, because retired people don't worry about spending money all their lives, and after they die, they can still get 500 yuan's home allowance every month. This kind of woman remarries to enjoy life, and they will ask the old man to give 1000 yuan a month, and they
The kind of woman who doesn't do housework, doesn't go to work and likes playing mahjong usually marries a man who doesn't have a pension and can't make much money. This kind of man is Zhao Da, who finally married his daughter-in-law. Of course, he can't abandon her laziness.
The second married woman and her husband are two hearts, so it is naturally unfair to live. They live in the attitude that one family can't change another, thinking that a toad with three legs is hard to find, and there are many people with two legs. Some second-married women want to live a good life, so they may pay more than others.
Women and women are different, with different mentality and different ways of living. Some people want to live a good life through their own efforts, while others are willing to rely on men and live a comfortable life like parasites.
The second son in our village also married a second-married woman. The second son was a bum in the eyes of his neighbors when he was young. He happens to be the second son in the family, so people are used to calling him the second son.
Later, the second son, who was fooling around in society, sneaked into the detention center himself. Three years later, the second son was released from prison, and it was not long before his father left because of illness. Originally, the second son lost his mother when he was a child, but this time, the second son really became a loner. As a result, the second son was even more homeless, so he simply took a part-time job in the city and lived a day when one person was full and the whole family was not hungry.
Until later, the second son suddenly returned to his hometown in the countryside and got a woman back. I heard that this woman is married for the second time. Needless to say, my second son is fearless. This time he stayed in his hometown and never left the village. The old house was cleaned up and crops were planted on the land that had been abandoned for several years. This little life is very tasty. Neighbors say that the second son lost his daughter-in-law, which really changed.
Zhao Si in the east of the village is different. Originally, Zhao Si had a wife, but they "divorced" when their child was 6 years old. It was said that it was a divorce. In fact, there was no record of the two at that time. Later, Zhao Si married another wife, who was from other places and married for the second time.
Compared with the daughter-in-law of her second son, Zhao Si's daughter-in-law can't even touch the edge. Today, she will visit her east neighbor, and tomorrow she will visit her west neighbor. People are often driven out, and there is no business in the countryside. You can't just talk with you without doing anything. But Zhao Si's daughter-in-law just doesn't look at it, and she doesn't know if she can't see it, so she plays dumb.
They are also married women, but their lives are very different. In fact, whether it is the first marriage or the second marriage, the key is whether you know how to operate. Those women who only know chatting and don't even do housework are looked down upon by others wherever they go. I really don't know what they are thinking all day.
Personally, if you don't go to work, you should tidy up your home, take care of your children's studies and the family's diet and daily life, and let people who work outside have a warm and comfortable environment to go home. You can do something meaningful or find a hobby when you have nothing to do. There is no need to go shopping and chat. Get together in groups of three or five, and always find something to talk about. If you are not careful, you will do something wrong, which is not good for others and yourself. For example, I seldom go to the countryside to chat. I keep my house in order every day. There are all kinds of vegetables in the field, so I basically don't have to spend money to buy vegetables. I raise pigs, chickens, ducks and geese myself, and the meat is my own. Not added. It is pure natural food, delicious and reassuring. Even if there is nothing to do, I would rather go to the Woods and the river to feel the charm of nature than get together to discuss my parents' shortcomings. Since it is the second marriage, we should cherish our family. Every harmonious and warm family is hard-won, so we must spend our time on the right things.
I don't think people will have any good feelings for those idle rural women who like to gossip. The countryside is no better than living in a building in the city, and everyone basically doesn't visit. The countryside is different. Living in a village for a long time, people from both east and west like to visit and chat with each other. It's okay to just stop by and chat, but some people like to gossip, which is not good. Many people just drop by and don't know the depth of their words, which leads to conflicts between neighbors and a little loss.
I have always disapproved of women sitting in the street, or dropping in when they have nothing to do. I think it's better to tidy up the housework and clean the house if you have time. As a housewife, there are always things to do at home. How nice it feels to spend time chatting around the house and cleaning it up. However, some women want to chat in the street when they are free, but the hygiene at home is very poor. Even some women look fashionable in their clothes, but their homes are as dirty as pigsty.
In this issue, it is specifically mentioned that rural second-married women do not go to work or do housework. Why pick out the woman who got married for the second time? There is a common phenomenon in rural areas now, that is, women who are married for the second time seem to be more popular than girls who have never been married, and the conditions for their remarriage are generally more demanding than those of girls who are married for the first time. A woman marries for the second time, and normally a man marries for the second time. It is even more difficult for a man who marries for the second time to find a wife. I finally found a daughter-in-law, of course, in my hand and in my mouth, just like my ancestors. It's not that men don't want women to go to work or do housework, but they are afraid of offending their second wife and will run away if they are unhappy. I have no choice but to be careful. My second wife has all the money, so people can play with it as they want.
In our local area, it is conditional to find a mistress now. First of all, you must deposit thousands of dollars into the card every month, and then eat and drink Lazar, all of which are free. Usually, you have to pay extra for clothes and cosmetics. I have a neighbor who is over 60 years old this year. After his wife died, he found a younger wife. He has his own pension and gives his second wife a card of 3000 yuan every month. Needless to say, the living expenses, in addition, second-married women have to eat health care products every day. The pension of the elderly is only enough to maintain life, and it is a bit extravagant to eat health care products. He can't ask his children for money. I had a stiff argument with my child because of this, and the old man was hospitalized because of getting angry. Although the child is angry, there is nothing he can do, but he still has to go to the hospital to wait on his father.
Personally, women who are married for the first time or the second time can read books and do housework at home when they have nothing to do.
Hello, first of all, I'm glad to answer this question.
"Getting married and starting a family" is a very important thing in the countryside, and the elders are also very concerned about it. Single young people in rural areas, as long as they go back on holiday, are generally urged to go on blind dates. Before I graduated from college, my relatives and neighbors began to arrange all kinds of blind dates for me, especially the older the young men are, the more anxious their parents are. At this time, they will arrange relatives to help them find it. On the other hand, they even entrusted the matchmaker to introduce the "second marriage" women. "What is it?
Because of the previous phenomenon of preference for boys over girls, there are 40 million more men than women, and the ratio between men and women is unbalanced. Coupled with the city's perfect and convenient infrastructure, a large number of girls have flowed into the city, so now the bride price of second-married women is the same as that of first-married women, so the problem is coming.
First of all, in rural areas, people usually marry second-time married women. Boys' families are generally older young people with little economic ability. Some families spend all their savings to marry a second-married woman, but women who are willing to marry such families are generally not very good. They are lazy, love shopping and don't go home all day. She thinks it's good to help your family carry on the family line. Besides, what can you do with me if you spend all your savings and marry me?
Second, in addition, from the main body, you can clearly feel that you are discriminating against second-married women. Now some married women in rural areas don't do housework, but like to visit and chat. Do you think married women can stop doing housework and visit and chat? Of course, in rural areas, this phenomenon is difficult to achieve, because in rural areas, women have to do all the housework, wash and cook, do cleaning, and work in the fields, and should not go around chatting.
In rural areas, we should not worry about married women not doing housework or chatting. What we can do is to assign our respective jobs and be considerate of each other. In terms of housework, you wash dishes, she cleans the table, she sweeps the floor, she washes clothes, you hang clothes and so on. Over time, she will cook you hot meals and pour warm water for a bath in your hard days. There are no lazy women in the world, only men who can't do housework.
I wonder what some women think now. Can we jump out of the cycle of right and wrong and make life a little simpler? I am a woman, too. I hope my circle is clean. I'm also in my thirties. I want to live a simpler life and spend more time with my children and parents! I hope to stay away from right and wrong and keep my original intention to make myself happy!
First of all, I am glad to answer your question and analyze the contradiction between psychology and reality from the side. No matter in rural or urban areas, the second-married women have suffered the misfortune or pain of marriage to some extent.
Since the question refers to the phenomenon of second marriage in rural areas, I will give a simple answer based on my observation during my trip. Inexplicable ~ no fair analysis. A little careful. [Clapping]
Marry Han and dress for dinner. This is an old concept. In poor rural areas or mountainous areas, it is a shortcut to happiness! Men are working for their families in other places, working hard, creating wealth for their families with their own sweat or skills, at least providing adequate protection for their families! [like]
It's really not easy for women who stay at home to take care of their parents-in-law and raise their children, or women who get married twice because of the economic improvement. There is also an unspeakable loneliness and bitterness.
Birds of a feather flock together ~ A bunch of old ladies are lonely (without discrimination), and chatting is a leisure in life. I remember a rural trip to An Wei the year before last. Only the village party secretary is stationed with more than 20 men, and the others are "female soldiers". At that time, the leader of go on road trip joked: You can be female village head! [Cover your face] [Cover your face] [Cover your face]
It is true that an acre of land can only earn a few hundred yuan, and working in cities without skills can earn two or three thousand yuan, which is indeed a big temptation for economically weak areas. So it becomes ~ only leave private plots to eat and be self-sufficient, counting on my husband's remittance and transfer every month, and besides ~ chatting is the greatest pleasure!
Rural urbanization has a long way to go.
The advantages and disadvantages of rural urbanization need to be clarified.
It won't be banned again ~ please [pray]
First of all, I am glad to answer this question and give my opinion. Don't spray if you don't like it.
You don't know about her family, and she's not your daughter-in-law. You can't see that she doesn't go to work, do housework or work every day. These things. Now that the media is so developed, the live broadcast of the elderly can also make money, and maybe it will be broadcast live. There is also that people may have this situation.
There is a bad word that you may not like to hear. If you are not your own daughter-in-law and mind other people's business, how many parents in rural areas are short-sighted and their tastes have changed. I often say that my husband and my mother-in-law just like gossip village. Is this daughter-in-law having sex with someone else today? Actually, just take care of yourself and your family. Others have other people's lifestyles.
This is my opinion. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Do not like do not spray
Looking around, women who are married in rural areas are idle at home, and there are many people walking on the street! Then why is the second married woman outstanding!
Imagine that there are really many divorced "lazy, greedy and lazy people" in rural areas. Why did they divorce? Some just dislike that they don't earn enough money at home, not by themselves! It is very rare to marry a daughter-in-law in the countryside now, and the second marriage is robbed! It costs a lot of money to get married for the first time, so you will be an uncle after you pass the door! Who dares to offend!
Then the children. Second-married women are generally over 30. If they take a child, they will have one for this family, so they have all reasons to stay at home! This is also a matter of course!
No matter what age, it is now a society with more men and fewer women! It is said that women hold up half the sky, but now it seems that it should be more than half!