1 ?

Recently, there was a hit drama "Everything is Fine", in which Su Daqiang was a cowardly, selfish and irresponsible father, and netizens respectfully called him an old "giant baby".

The plot reflects some problems of providing for the aged in today's society.

After Su Daqiang's wife died, he was relieved instead of sad. He lives in the home of his second son Ming Cheng.

He became unable to cook, didn't want to take a bath, and his home was in a mess. He also invited friends to play at home and blocked the cigarettes and cigarettes.

He told his eldest son, Mingzhe, that he was "black" and always said that their husband and wife gave up on themselves, provoking and alienating their feelings.

After eating at random, I have to let my eldest son and daughter know that I want them all to come and see, so that Mingzhe can misunderstand Mingcheng's poor care and completely ignore the kindness of Mingcheng and his daughter-in-law Julie.

Take Julie's money and savings back to invest in financial management and dream of making money. As a result, I was cheated and wanted to commit suicide by jumping off a building. Forced daughter Yu Ming had to lie to him that the public security bureau had recovered the money and paid it back to him.

Su Daqiang also forced Mingzhe to buy him a three-bedroom apartment, and the second room was too small. Despite the practical difficulties of his son and daughter-in-law, even if Mingyu was injured and admitted to hospital, Mingcheng was detained and imprisoned.

What he cares about is the house, not Mingyu's injury and Mingcheng's future.

And urged Wu Fei, the eldest daughter-in-law, to buy a house as soon as possible, lest Julie persecute him because of Ming Cheng. Wu Fei couldn't stand him and let him go.

Later, Mingzhe couldn't come up with the down payment for three bedrooms, because the price was 200,000 more than originally planned. Julie took the initiative to borrow 200,000 yuan from Mingyu to Mingzhe, and Mingcheng quarreled and divorced his wife.

Mingcheng complained that his father bought a three-bedroom apartment when he lived alone, regardless of his son's life or death, but Su Daqiang said that Mingcheng owed him this and he had to buy new furniture wisely.

Su Daqiang is still very face-saving, showing off how good his son is with his old colleagues, saying that he doesn't want a house and his son has to buy it.

The average parent tries to save money to buy a house for his son and make a down payment to do housework for his son. Su Daqiang wanted his son to buy a house, which increased the pressure and burden on his son and daughter-in-law, resulting in contradictions.

He knew that his son was unfilial and was kidnapped by his family. This is necessary if he has the ability. But the lack of ability will only make the son and daughter-in-law bored.

He is still selling his old age and wants to see his children around him. A person who is in good health in his sixties is not too old, but he can live independently and does not need to be taken care of by others.

But Mingyu was very picky when she helped him find a nanny, so he screwed up his daughter.

Nowadays, the aging society is becoming more and more serious. Some healthy old people spend their whole lives on their children and want to rely on others in their lives.

This mentality will only make you lose your willpower. Once you get sick, you will be devastated.

2

Speaking of providing for the aged, I have a friend's mother who died a few years ago. My friend said that my mother had collapsed since my father left two years ago.

I don't want to eat, I don't want to move, my health is not good, and it's getting worse. She was lying in bed and didn't want to get up or go out, so her friend had to ask a nanny to take care of her mother at home.

He is a businessman, and his time is free. In order to take good care of his mother, he goes back to her home for dinner every day and rests at home at night.

He has a younger brother who works in other places. Every time he comes back to visit his mother, she is in a particularly good mood and can stand up and walk around, but as soon as her brother leaves, she doesn't want to move.

Either my brother was brought back or he didn't come back.

I know his brother is a barrister, and he is very busy with his work. It's good to take time to come back and be filial. He can't come back for several days at a time and lose his job.

My friend's parents have hired hourly workers to cook and clean since they retired. Father is more considerate to mother. He usually takes care of my mother when she is ill. They go to the park for a walk and play cards every day.

Her father's departure made her feel that she had lost her center of gravity and no support in her heart. Although her son also depends on it, her son can't accompany her. After all, she has a job.

I went to see my friend's mother. She thought for a while before she remembered me, so she sat up in bed and chatted for a while, saying that she was tired and wanted to go to bed. The mind is still clear, but the willpower is gone.

When a person entrusts his body and mind to another person, he is inseparable for decades, dependence becomes a habit, and there is no self.

When one of them falls, the other loses his fulcrum and spiritual support, and he also falls.

Put your spirit on your partner or relatives, and when he leaves, his relatives are far away, and they will collapse.

? three

My neighbor lives with an old couple in their 80s. The old man is a retired veteran cadre and the old lady is a retired worker.

They have four children, all married and successful, and some have grandchildren.

Children all work in this city and often go home to visit their parents. The old lady is very enthusiastic, and sometimes she invites me to her house for dinner and chat at home about her parents' shortcomings and feelings for her children.

Originally such a family, she felt very happy, but she would sigh from time to time and say that she was lonely. If her children don't come for a few days, she will call and ask them why they haven't come recently.

She said that old people always go out for a walk alone and go to the old bureau for entertainment. He doesn't want to go with her. I wonder if the old man is out looking for a woman.

I don't believe that an 80-year-old man can have such great charm. Once, I forgot my key when I went out. I can't open the door until my husband comes back, so I go to the neighbor's old lady's house and wait.

The old man was watching the news, so I turned on my cell phone. The old man said: you young people love to play mobile phones, are not interested in news, and do not care about current affairs and politics; I said, Abreu, there is news on the mobile phone.

Then let me ask you, do you know the Belt and Road? How did it come from? I said it originated from the ancient Silk Road. China's silk has been exported since ancient times, and it is world-famous. At that time, the traffic was not as developed as it is now, and it was divided into land and water.

From Zhang Qian's mission to the Western Regions in the Western Han Dynasty to the present Eurasian continent, I generally told him that I had been to the ancient Silk Road.

The old man said that you still know. Actually, I don't know much. I've just been to those places and want to know about them. I looked up information on the Internet and bought a copy of New Silk Road.

In fact, the old man knows more than I do. He asked me again: Do you know what meeting is being held now? How many days?

I said I knew about the NPC and CPPCC, but after a few days, he kept talking to me.

It turns out that he watches the news every night and cares about the new political situation. That's what he told the old comrades of the old bureau.

I think, the topic that the old lady said is different from him, and it's a bit wordy. It must be the old man who doesn't want to go out with her for this reason.

Everyone's hobbies and spiritual level are different, so it is difficult to play together without the same topic.

For example, my husband loves to drink and make friends, and sometimes he will ask me out. I just don't want to go with him, because I don't drink and don't like excitement.

A person's loneliness is not terrible, but spiritual loneliness is terrible. When a partner has nothing to say to himself, only when he is full of energy, has his own interests and is enriched can he have sustenance.

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four

Not long ago, I read an article called "The Last Lesson of Mrs. Chen, a famous professor in Tsinghua-Living a Dignified Old Age".

The article is about Chen Si Kou, the wife of a famous professor Zhao Baoxi, who is a retired middle school teacher. Professor Zhao left when she was 92.

Since she retired for 40 years, she has tried to stick to her own things and do it herself. Except for asking the nanny to clean, everything else is self-care. She doesn't need her son to come often, and she doesn't want to affect their work.

She reads books, watches TV, does housework and is ready to "go" at any time. Try to reduce your illness and live a healthy and happy life.

She learned some health care knowledge, did not blindly see a doctor, explored health care methods by herself, adjusted her mentality, and persisted in exercising.

She said that any dream of relying on others to support the elderly will fail, no matter how good doctors, responsible nannies and filial children are.

She likes literature, philosophy, astronomy, geography, drama and sports. She cares about current affairs and politics, reads notes, watches TV plays, and likes watching football, tennis and billiards.

She makes a study plan and life rules, and arranges her time very full, so that she doesn't have free time and can't see loneliness in her.

At the age of 92, she suffered from a kidney tumor. She didn't go to the operation. She uses ideas, diet and physical therapy to recuperate. She transcended life and death in spirit, lived in peace with the king with tumor for two years, and infected the old people around her with her behavior.

At the age of 96, her illness worsened and various diseases followed. She still insisted on not sending her child to the hospital for medical treatment. She knows that going to the hospital can't cure the disease.

In order not to drag others down, but also to strive for the idea of "walking faster" for herself, she ended her pain ahead of time by fasting and defended her dignity.

In the article "I am always ready to provide for my old age", Liu Liu said: I always watch China's propaganda films, often go home to watch them, chat with my parents more, and even legislate not to visit my parents. This is not the old age I want-full of weak sympathy and helpless filial piety.

I don't want my son to have a toothache at the thought of having to visit me for legal and moral reasons. I don't want to be old and live in the loneliness of waiting for calls from my children and grandchildren all day.

Everyone will get old, which is the only way for everyone. We should learn to accept impermanence.

There is a saying on the Internet: "Nothing in this world belongs to you, only your body belongs to you, so you should learn to take care of yourself", and we should cultivate good habits and interests from now on, not from old age.

Because good habits are not what you want to have, he needs to keep insisting; Interest doesn't come when you want to. He needs to keep learning. When you get old, you'll be on your own.

Disclaimer: The picture comes from the Internet.