Li Jianjun, the eldest brother of society, hates winter the most. Last week, he had a conflict with someone at a food stall. He was angry because he wore too much clothes and couldn't show his tattoo at once.
If you want to show the nine dragons on your back, you must take them off one by one. Take off your coat first, then your sweater, then your shirt, and finally your autumn clothes, and the momentum will be reduced by half. ? After undressing, Li Jianjun showed the tattoo on his back to the other party and asked, "Are you afraid?" The other person's expression is very confused.
Brother Ma Dawan reminded me, "Brother, your back ..." Li Jianjun touched it and found some warm babies stuck on his back. After tearing it off, he asked the other person, "Are you afraid?" The other person's expression is still very confused. The cold wind blew, accompanied by a cry of "A-choo", he took out a soul mate and blew his nose, completely losing his eldest brother's appearance. "I was blown by the cold wind for you," said Li Jianjun.
When it comes to tools for blowing your nose, the rules in the industry are as follows: Big Brother uses a soul mate (pink), Big Brother Wenyi uses a breeze, Big Brother Bi Er uses sleeves, and Big Brother Bi Er, who loves cleanliness, uses his brother's sleeves. Li Jianjun is not a bitch. The bag of soul mate in her pocket is from Xiao garlic.
"I want to put on clothes one by one," Li Jianjun would say every time I took them off and put them on again.
Later, Li Jianjun caught a cold, and the little girl who roasted garlic said, Brother, you are old, so don't be naked in the future. After drinking gouqi tea for a year, don't let your health achievements fall short in winter. After listening to this advice, Li Jianjun always opens the photo album to show the other person the photos after a fight: "Hey, this is the tattoo on my back. Are you afraid? " "I'm not afraid." "Then look at the tattoo on my ass." "I'm afraid of you."
Li Jianjun hates winter for another reason: he has rhinitis. Sneeze when the cold wind blows. You can go out without a charging treasure, but you must bring paper towels. If you don't wear a tissue, you can only walk with your head held high, so he may be the most arrogant brother in the area. "Don't bow your head, your nose will fall off." Li Jianjun always reminds himself. He sometimes has a runny nose because his nose is blocked. At this time, it is inconvenient to kiss Zhang. It only takes a few seconds to pull out your tongue and gasp like a bulldog.
Li Jianjun hated winter when he was single, because no one warmed his bed. Although there is a kang, the hot air on the kang is impersonal, which makes his whole skin dry, not like a hipster at all. So he closed the kang, gritted his teeth and got into bed, covered his right foot with his cold left foot, and woke up the next morning to find that his foot was still cold. "If I can do yoga, I will definitely put my feet in the chrysanthemum!" He actually thought of this move, which shows how desperate he is.
Fortunately, he met Zhang later. But don't couples hate winter? Obviously, I hate it, too. Once they were going to roll sheets and kiss, they felt each other's lips as rough as sandpaper. Li Jianjun, a boy with thick lips, is embarrassed when he smiles, which directly leads to cleft lip, like hemorrhoids.
Okay, that wasn't a kiss. Li Jianjun wiped the bloodshot corners of her mouth and gently took off Zhang's coat. She found herself wearing a red autumn suit for middle-aged and elderly people, stuffed in autumn trousers and cotton socks. The years are calm and orderly.