1, in order to improve the safety of the product, we decided to put a seal on the bottle cap of the coke bottle: Please open this end; Bottle bottom print: Please open the other end.

2. Wife, I shouldn't shine shoes with sheets, but I just got back from a business trip and I can't change them for a while. I was wrong.

3, the girl's heart, beautiful and flawless; Innocent heart, beauty lies in innocence; The heart of the strong is fearless; The beauty of people with lofty ideals lies in selflessness.

4. I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be a princess when they see me?

The species of animals are decreasing, but the species of people are increasing?

6. One worships heaven and earth and suffers from his wife's anger from now on, and the other worships Gao Tang for her hard work. The husband and wife tightened their belts and sent them to the bridal chamber. I knelt down and rubbed her bed. Alas, I am a sheep and she is a wolf.

7. The wife goes out to follow, the wife orders obedience, and the wife makes mistakes and blindly follows; Wife waits for makeup, remembers birthdays, endures beatings and scolding, and is willing to spend money.

8. Knowledge is like a pair of trousers, which is invisible but important.

9. Stupid people are terrible not because they are stupid, but because they are smart.

10, to me, you are a light bulb in the dark, bread in hunger, cotton-padded jacket in winter and ice cream in summer. You are the only wealth in my life.

1 1, you can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

12, salted fish turns over, or salted fish.

13, the soft wind caresses the willow branches, and the bees pick a flower diligently. If you want to write a farewell poem, wait until no frogs croak. As long as the sunrise appears before sunset, as long as the class arrives before class.

14, can you find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

15, there are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

16. Getting married is to put on cotton-padded clothes for yourself. It's inconvenient to walk around, but it will be warm.

17, muddle through and find the star Baidu. If you don't do it, how can you know the pain of confinement? Helpless, far away from comparison and long-term; Suddenly one day, I watched the magpie bridge fly.

18, unmarried women lamented: Why do good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.

19, so many people despise me, who are you?

Extended reading

Network classic quotations

1, indulgence of sexual desire is easy for physical fatigue, and indulgence of sexual desire is easy for mental fatigue.

2. People who have insufficient blessings often hear right and wrong; Those who have enough blessings have never heard of right or wrong.

There are two kinds of people you can't forget, one is the one you love, and the other is the one you hate, but they are often the same person.

The road of life is a spiral road. Only by strutting high and turning around flexibly can we rise to the peak of our ideals.

5, the road is long, we need to search up and down; We need to take every step to attract more people; Things are complicated, so we should learn to steal time from busyness. We should enjoy the beautiful scenery.

6. Yesterday was an invalid check, tomorrow is a promissory note, and today is the only cash you have.

7. Life must have five selves: self-knowledge, self-confidence, self-awakening, self-reliance and self-discipline. There are six commandments in life: abstinence, detoxification, laziness, anxiety, independence and obedience.

8. Cultivate a little chic habit and don't care too much about other people's opinions or criticisms, so that you can get along comfortably with others.

9. You can get ideas from others, but your way of thinking, that is, the mold for casting ideas, must be your own.

10, don't talk about your pride in front of the frustrated. This will do harm to your interpersonal relationship.

1 1. Sincerity doesn't mean blaming others for their shortcomings, but it means never complimenting others.

12, it only takes one sentence to destroy a person, but it takes a thousand words to cultivate a person. Please have mercy.

13, tolerant friends must be in the same boat for a hundred years, tolerant couples must hold their pillows for a hundred years, and a tolerant world must be peaceful and beautiful.

14, foresight is a kind of wisdom. Knowing oneself is a kind of maturity. Knowing others clearly is a kind of accomplishment!

15, where there is no water, it is desert, and where there is no sound, it is lonely.

16, men like beautiful women when they have physiological needs, and women like money men when they have survival needs.

17, the peak of lust is perceptual, and the peak of sexual desire is chaotic.

18, each of us is unique in the world. There is only one you in the world.

19, it is a famous actor who plays others vividly, and it is usually an official who plays himself smart and great.

20. Eating more food will make the body strong or obese, and learning more knowledge will make the brain strong or obese.

2 1. Absorb new knowledge from people in different industries. Remember, ask questions.

22. No matter how old you are, no matter how urged by your family and friends, don't treat marriage casually. Marriage is not playing cards, shuffling cards will cost you a lot.

Just as a magnet attracts iron powder around, enthusiasm can attract people around and change the surrounding situation.

24. Many successes stem from the right timing, and many failures stem from the wrong timing.

25, how many people want to leave this world, will say the same sentence, this world is really helpless and desolate!

26. A great man is great because when he is in adversity with others, others lose confidence, but he is determined to achieve his goal.

27. It won't hurt to test false feelings, but it will hurt to test true feelings.

28. Career is like snowballing. We must bravely push forward and push harder and harder. However, if you stop halfway, it will melt and disappear immediately.

29. The body excretes waste in the body every day, and the brain excretes nonsense in the brain every day.

30. Why put the poison in the same bottle? The same psychology, why are you full of troubles?

3 1. Entertainment exists in life and creates the style of life.

32. Learning Buddhism is a confession of one's conscience, not for others to see.

33. Attractive changes in life: its sweetness, its pain and its richness, I must taste it.

34. The longest and shortest, fastest and slowest, most common and most precious, most easily overlooked and most regrettable thing in the world is time.

35. It's a pity that talking nonsense wastes language and doing useless things wastes time.

36. Doubting everything is the same as believing everything is wrong, and you can get right.

37. I only think of the beginning, but also the development, especially the ending.

38. There is only one step between a noble man and a stupid man.

39. If there are many wise people, the country will be strong; if there are few wise people, the country will be weak. Therefore, today's teaching should be enlightened first.

40. If it is inappropriate, force it, and if it is appropriate, don't force it.

4 1, there must be no compassion if there is trouble. Compassion for troubles is not compassion after all, but compassion for pollution.

42. Ten taboos for being a man: avoid vanity, laziness, arrogance, rudeness, greed, selfishness, dishonesty, evil persistence, disloyalty and lying.

43. In Tao Zhu, prosperity and adversity are often hotbeds of sages.

44. Thinking that you are smart will make you smarter, and thinking that you are stupid will make you more stupid.

45. We may not be beautiful, but we are healthy. We may not be great, but we are solemn; We may not be perfect, but we work hard; We may not be eternal, but we are sincere.

46. Benign sexual desire is like clean and delicious food, while vicious sexual desire is like dirty and unpalatable food.

Prosperity increases people's confidence, while adversity decreases it.

48, looks are not annoying, if not excellent, let yourself be talented; If you have no talent, always smile.

49, the behavior itself does not explain its own nature, but depends on our mental state when we act.

50. Good determination must be achieved through action. Without action, good determination is meaningless.

5 1, optimistic people just laugh and forget to complain; Pessimists focus on complaining and forget to laugh.

52. Rational people adapt themselves to this world; Irrational people insist on adapting the world to themselves.

If you think that every successful person has only a successful experience, it is wrong. In fact, there are no more failures than successful people.

54. The creature that dislikes the new and hates the old the least is the animal, and the creature that likes the new and hates the old the most is the human.

55. Anyone who is good at thinking must be able to pursue the person who is most beneficial to mankind through action according to his thinking.

56. When you are upset, tell yourself that all this is false. What's bothering you?

57. The so-called real world is actually a virtual world, and the network is a virtual world in a virtual world.

58. When we are on the road, we must take three magic weapons, and we can't do it with our bare hands. These three magic weapons are strong physique, rich knowledge and enough courage.

59. Wise people turn troubles into wisdom, while fools turn troubles into sorrow.

60. Some women are virtuous and some women are virtuous.

6 1, the opposite sex is heterosexual and the same sex is gay.

62. Don't refuse people casually, and don't promise people casually. Don't make a wish, don't keep people's appetite, and don't try to be brave in meaningless things.

63. A man should strive for perfection in the field of learning; In the industrial and commercial society, we should communicate vertically and horizontally; Talking and laughing in interpersonal space; Peace of mind in loneliness!

64. There are very few women who are not beautiful in appearance and heart, and even fewer women who are beautiful in appearance and heart.

65. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

66. The condition of success lies in courage and self-confidence, which come from a sound mind and a healthy body.

67. We all live in a world full of causality. When something happens, it will affect other people or things.

68. Yesterday, it was a work ticket. Tomorrow is a promissory note that has not yet been cashed; Only today is cash, and it has the value of circulation.

69. Everything goes wrong is the beginning of the human era, and everything goes well is the end of the human era.

70. Successful people know that they do things spontaneously and are responsible for what they do.

7 1. The life a person lives is not necessarily the life he really should live.

72. If you don't give yourself trouble, others will never give you trouble. Because of my heart, I can't let go.

Life is short, this sentence should remind everyone to do everything they want.

74. There are more money men than beautiful women in the United States, and there are more money men than beautiful women in China.

75. Sometimes failure is not that you didn't work hard, but that you chose the wrong direction; Sometimes success is not your ability, but the help of others.

76. gregarious people are often mediocre people, while unsociable people are often wizards.

77. Please remember that a good friend is defined as: you get along well, he is really happy for you, and you get along badly. He is really worried about you.

78. Life has no choice. You must accept it. The only choice is how to live.

79. Eliminating desire when the time is not ripe can eliminate pain, while not eliminating desire when the time is ripe can enjoy happiness.

80. Science pursues truth, morality pursues goodness and art pursues beauty.

8 1. If you see the faults and right and wrong of all beings every day, you should repent at once. This is an exercise.

82. The masses are running, the leaders are approving, the departments are turning, and meetings are held again and again. In the end, the question is where to go.

Please don't cheat a kind girl. There are too few kind girls in this world.

84. It doesn't matter what you think of the customers you contact every day. What matters is the way you treat them.

85. Being carefree and full of happiness when eating, sleeping and exercising is one of the wonderful reasons for longevity.

86. Life is only a few decades. Don't leave any regrets for yourself. Laugh happily, cry if you want, and love when you should. There is no point in suppressing yourself.

87. Male perverts treat women as animals, while female perverts treat men as animals.

88. Invest your love in one person and take risks; It is dangerous to put love into many people.

89. Good ideas are very cheap. What is really priceless is the person who can realize these ideas.

90. People who love each other may not get married, and married people may not be their own lovers.

Obedience is an elegant art, but many people do not make full use of it. They think that people have two ears and will certainly know how to listen.

92. Being a man or for yourself is to outline a person's inner world in his own name.

93. The way to find happiness in life is to know that you are given life to enjoy it.

94. Don't expect everyone to like you. It's impossible. Making most people like you is a sign of success.

95. Wise men cherish what is easy to get, give up what is not available, and fools pursue what is easy to get with contempt that is not available.

96. The price has come, and that kind of satisfaction is really unparalleled, but no one says that persistence is simple.

97. A wise man must regulate cold and heat from time to time to keep healthy.

98. Those who guard themselves also guard themselves in the eyes of others.

99. The past has passed. What really matters is how to turn over a new leaf from now on.

100, thinking should be ahead of everyone, and wishes might as well stay behind.

10 1, the six principles of being a man and doing things: First, keep your duty. Second, we must abide by the rules. Third, we must keep the time limit. Fourth, keep your promise. Fifth, pay attention to methods. Sixth, pay attention to the effect!

102, boundless merit is just an adjective, no matter what merit is measured.

103, losing someone you love is a bad thing, and losing someone who doesn't love you is a good thing.

104, the most beautiful thing in the world is to have a few solemn friends with upright minds and hearts.

105, blindfolded, does not represent the darkness of the world; Blindfold others' eyes, does not mean that the light is your own.

106, love is beautiful. Believe in love. If you don't even believe in love, isn't life too bitter?

107, men who don't like beauty don't like beautiful women, and women who have no economic concept don't like rich men.

108, books are the nourishment of the whole world. Life without books is like life without sunshine. Wisdom without books is like a bird without wings.

109, for the great cause of mankind, we should be selfish and strive for it with diligence. Not enough contribution, never enough.

1 10. If you live in an evil, unwise, immoral and unclean way, you will not only live badly, but will continue to die.

1 1 1. Whatever you sell, sell yourself first.

1 12, like a shaman practicing heterodox as a false practice, like an ordinary man practicing the right path as a true practice.

1 13. Life is the ocean, and hope is the compass of the helmsman, so that people will not get lost in the storm.

1 14, with lofty ideals, firm confidence and hard work, there will be amazing achievements.

1 15, to do your best for others is to do your best for yourself; People who don't help others can't get help from others.

1 16, silence is the content; Danger is not just words; Just be happy; Do not suffer from greed.

Classic network quotations

1, it was unplugged before flirting.

The night gave me a black mouse, but I played with it until dawn.

3. Women refuse love with friendship, and men exchange friendship for love.

4, all weekends that are not for sleeping are hooligans!

Be kind to the person you love, or your heart will go on strike.

6, look at the past are goods, sister who do you want to live with?

7. I'm not afraid to kick you. I'm just afraid that Nike on my feet will get dirty.

8. Without lazy toads, swans would be lonely.

9. Our goal: Look at the money and earn more.

10, it doesn't matter if you're not sorry for everything.

1 1, a person is called loneliness before he has no love. Love is called loneliness.

12, if one day I become cruel and crazy, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

13. Past events such as yesterday's death and future events such as today's birth.

14, don't be stupid enough to think that the world is as simple as you.

15, dreaming, anything is possible.

16, I like fireworks, but I dare not watch them bloom, because I know the most prosperous and sad.

17, I do everything for my brother, for a woman, I do everything for my brother.

18, I not only have a car, but also work by myself.

19, without joy, there is no sad loss.

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

2 1, people are iron, rice is steel, and you don't pretend to hold back for a day.

22. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

23. I planted the injury myself, and I am very strong.

24. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

25, wife, Gong Yu has come to borrow the excavator!

26. Whatever you move, don't be emotional. Now that it has moved, it is providence.

27. I admit that I have a responsibility, but I must take responsibility. This is my responsibility.

28. Don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.

29. Silence actually has a nice name, which is growth.

30. If you come, you will be safe, and if you are blessed, you will be a fool.

3 1, the simplest action explains the most complicated things.

Tell a stranger the truth, because he doesn't know you are pretending to be strong.

33. Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

34. Kill you with what, dear.

35. You don't want beauty or money. What do you want?

36. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.

37, others pretend, I have to pretend to be experienced.

38. Traveling means going from one's own tired place to another's tired place.

39. Just when I stressed the need to keep a low profile. But you have to give me applause and scream.

40, 20 years old is not crazy, no ambition, 30 years old is still crazy, no brain.

4 1, I have been gentle all my life, only smiling for beauty.

42. The earth is moving, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

43. When you are young, memory is a skill; After middle age, forgetting is wisdom.

44. Women are not embarrassed and easy to be embarrassed; Men can't get used to it, and the more they get used to it, the more asshole they become!

45, the ass is a little, and it looks good.

46. Eat without food, save money and fall in love.

47. Every happy beginning must have a sad ending.

48. Mice fell in love with rice, cats fell in love with fish, and even wolves fell in love with sheep. Who fell in love with me?

49. Happiness is simply breathing, and there is no misfortune before breathing stops.

50. There was a saint named Joan of Arc in France. It is a fact that there are many leftover women in China.

5 1, the so-called love story is that you say something you don't believe, but you want the other person to believe it.

52. Your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

53. I went out yesterday and was stuck in traffic until today.

54. What is love in the world? The sage replied: waste!

55. I have been running in the field of hope, although I occasionally stumble over disappointment.

Remember, I don't even have to look at you.

57. In the face of facts, the more developed our imagination is, the more disastrous the consequences will be.

58. Realistic things are not beautiful, and beautiful things are unrealistic.

59. Look up and smile to cover up the desolation in your heart.

60. Don't think that meeting me is your fate or your embarrassment.

6 1, maybe it was just too simple at first.

62. In this era, money is not a problem, but no money.

63. The first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.

64. Wow, you look very archaeological.

65. In fact, a person's so-called freedom should be called solitude.

66, the world of flowers, I am too serious.

67. You said you would wait for me to come back. You did it. You found someone to wait with.

68. Ruhua has become so famous. I'm really just a country farmer.

69. When we remove the stumbling blocks laid by others, we may be paving the way for ourselves.

70. The most urgent thing is the most beautiful scenery, and the deepest thing is the most true feelings.

7 1, Shenzhouxing/I think so. I won't pay to see if you can do it.

72. Mixed society is a physical activity, and it pays attention to four lessons: flash and movement.

73. It is said that silence is golden. Is there a lot of gold after a long silence?

74. Seeing you, I feel more entangled than going to the grave.

75, highly educated, no income, social pollution, anthomaniac, unmarried older young women!

76. If you love, please love deeply. If you don't love it, then I'll steal food.

There are two tragedies in life: despair and complacency.

78. Destiny exists, but some people can't believe it, and some people disdain to believe it.

79. If memory is poison, then forgetting is the antidote.

80. There is nothing wrong with San Xiao. The mistake is that it can't stand the temptation!

8 1, women like bad men, not bad men.

82. There are too many liars and obviously not enough fools.

83. Shenzhouxing is ok for me, but I won't spend money to see if you are ok.

84. It's not your turn to tell me what to do in my world.

85. The so-called gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf.

86. Don't think that you can pretend to be spotless by wearing a white shirt.

87. Who says I'm fat? Who am I in a hurry with? I'm just a little swollen.

88. Baidu couldn't find you, so it had to enter sogou!

89. Say you can, you can, or you can't.

90. What I have is luck, but what I have lost is life.

9 1. Now the 35 otaku who has no house, no car and no sister has a new name: Low Carbon Brother.

92, hands in pockets, nobody loves.

93. I lost a mother, four uncles and grandmothers.

94. I have money, but I have no time to get it.

95. Four results of female breast enhancement; It's different. Very different. Not that big. The size is different.

Funny network classic sentences

★ There may be several women who don't eat, but none of them are jealous.

★ Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

★ People can't get along with each other by being polite!

★ People are afraid of famous pigs and strong, men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

★ People are not smart and bald!

★ Life is to live, to live.

Asking how much you can worry about is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you.

★ How to lose weight if you are not full?

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

★ I haven't been in the Jianghu for a long time, and there is always my biography in the Jianghu.

Most beautiful women are similar, but ugly women are different.

A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you work hard and all you get is a fart.

Don't ask me again: How have you been recently?

I want to puppy love, but it's too late.

★ I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!

★ Rogues are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

★ If beauty is a recommendation letter, then kindness is a credit card!

★ If people don't commit crimes against me, I won't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

★ The direction against the wind is more suitable for soaring. Not afraid of being blocked by ten thousand people, I am afraid of surrendering myself.

★ I have a good background, but I only have a back.

★ There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

★ Life is easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

Life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.

★ The scholar plays dead for his bosom friend, and the woman has plastic surgery for her own amusement.

I will miss you very much after you leave. Why don't you leave?

★ I would rather be proud and moldy than humble in love!

★ A woman's wardrobe is like a harem, with countless beautiful women and only a few favorites.

As an epigram, I hope the above "network classic funny quotations" will help you. To get more famous sentences, you can click on the topic of positive energy classic inspirational quotations.