This situation will only get worse if it is not controlled a little. Children are addicted to games, which will hurt their eyes. Many children wear myopia glasses earlier, mostly because of computers and mobile phones. In addition, once a child is addicted to games, his personality will easily become paranoid, and even if school starts, his heart will be difficult to recover. Therefore, it is a headache for parents to let their children watch computers and play mobile phones.
A few days ago, a parent called to say that he and his son had a conflict because of their mobile phones. In a rage, the mother smashed her son's mobile phone into pieces.
She said: son Xiaofeng, the first day of this year. In elementary school, she hardly let her son touch the mobile phone. When I was in junior high school, I was busy at work. Sometimes I bought a mobile phone for my child because I was afraid that the pick-up would not be timely. I made an agreement with my son before buying a mobile phone. I bought a mobile phone to facilitate contact, and I am not allowed to chat and play games online with my mobile phone. My son promised well at the beginning and did well. As for me, I let my guard down. Once I found my son playing a childish little game. The parent was not very angry at the time, but told him to unload it once and for all. The children also cooperated and immediately uninstalled the game.
But after a while, the parent found that his son could not control himself more and more. Every day when I come home from school, I have to connect to WiFi for a while before I start doing my homework. Sometimes when eating, you have to put down your bowl and run to see the new news. Once, he went to the toilet with his mobile phone and secretly played games in the toilet. Mother was angry at that time and threatened to get her mobile phone back. This allows children to take the initiative to admit their mistakes and delete all the games in their mobile phones.
Before the final exam, parents accompany him to review every night. One night, after 10, the light in my son's room was still on. She warmed a glass of milk for her son. But as soon as he pushed the door open, his son was so scared that he quickly stuffed something under the test paper.
Parents grabbed the paper on the table, and the mobile phone was really pressed under the paper. The screen was left on, still stuck in a picture of a naked woman. The mother felt a buzz in her head, then grabbed her mobile phone and snapped at her son, "I will cook for you as soon as I get off work every day, stay with you until midnight at night, and have to get up early for work the next day." I'm afraid you're hungry and tired. That's how you deal with me, isn't it? "
The son is not convinced: "I am not tired of studying every day?" Did I ask you to stay with me at night? I just played for a while ... "
Before the son finished his sophistry, the parents dropped their mobile phones on the ground, stamped their feet and said, "I made you tired!" " I'll let you play for a while ... I'll make you tired! I'll let you play for a while ... "
The whole night, my head buzzed and I thought about it all night, and I closed my eyes at dawn. ...
The parent said that there is no way to communicate with his son now, he doesn't know how to trust his son anymore, and his son doesn't want to talk to his mother.
After listening to the story of this parent, many mothers are also deeply touched! On the way to educate children, we are sometimes really tired and wronged. On the one hand, we are tireless, on the other hand, we are confused and complained by our children. How many mothers are quite dissatisfied with their children because of a problem of playing mobile phones.
1. Why are children so attractive to mobile phones?
(1) People are born with the instinct of "seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages". They always like relaxing things and try to avoid stress and difficulties, especially children. Every day at school, teachers always talk about learning, doing problems, exams, grades and so on; When you get home, your parents' mouth shut is your score, what you should and shouldn't do, and how other children are doing. These suffocating words invisibly add a heavy burden to children and add a heavy psychological pressure. The mobile phone only releases pressure, gives itself an independent space, and vents dissatisfaction and pressure through mobile games.
(2) Lack of communication and companionship; With the growth of age, there are fewer and fewer people who can talk to themselves, especially the only child, who lacks communication with their peers. Chatting through QQ and WeChat, looking for people and groups to talk to. Parents lack effective communication with their children, and growing children have many feelings and nowhere to talk, which is also a major reason why children rely more on mobile phones. You can observe that the more addicted children are to mobile phones, the more withdrawn and silent they are. They can only vent their emotions anonymously through social software in their mobile phones.
Parents, as the closest people to their children, should communicate with their children more, instead of always trying to persuade them. It is better to stand in the child's perspective, find out the reasons and negotiate solutions. Sometimes coercion can backfire.
(3) A mobile phone is a small computer. You can surf the Internet through your mobile phone to enjoy the wonderful world outside, which deeply attracts children's attention.
(4) The stimulation and hierarchical mechanism of the game satisfy children's curiosity and competitive psychology, and add a lot of fun to children, which makes them fondle admiringly.
(5) Smart phones are powerful and very convenient for life. Shopping with mobile phone WeChat is very common now. Of course, you can also grab red envelopes, karaoke, take selfies, shop, watch TV, read books and so on.
(6) Parents frequently use mobile phones at home. We often say that a child is a mirror of his parents, and he will learn what you do. This is what we preach. If you often make phone calls, send text messages, play WeChat at home, or play games or watch movies, then most children will also be interested in mobile phones and hope to get satisfaction from them.
2. What do children think of playing mobile phones?
Student A: There are 54 students in the class. Everyone has a mobile phone, which makes it convenient for me to contact my parents and classmates. Everyone has it. If I don't do this, I will have no friends.
Why do you play with your mobile phone? Because it's the New Year in China. Don't play at school, don't play during the New Year. Why do you adults play with mobile phones all day?
I usually play on weekends, where mobile phones are discounted, which is good for contacting my parents. There are a lot of materials on the Internet that can be collected to facilitate my study. Studying is hard, so you can relax.
Students use mobile phones to a certain extent, and the mobile phone itself has a certain impact on vision and mental state. Middle school students are short of time, so they don't have time for QQ or Weibo. If they play mobile phones, their studies will be affected, leading to a decline in their academic performance. Therefore, it is not recommended to use mobile phones in daily life.
Why do I play with my mobile phone? There are many games and chats on the mobile phone, which is really fun. Mom and dad are always too busy to take care of me. Mobile phone is my life partner and loyal partner.
I am really tired. Playing mobile phone can relax me.
3. How do parents handle children playing mobile phones?
Parents don't want their children to play with mobile phones. Generally speaking, they are afraid that this will affect their study and lead to poor eyesight. Playing mobile phones for a long time will affect your health, and you are also afraid that unhealthy things on the Internet will affect your child's growth.
Parent A: I really can't help my children playing with their mobile phones. Play mobile phone when you get home. When doing homework, I said I wanted to look up the questions, so I watched my mobile phone while doing it. It doesn't make any sense. The result of my negotiation with her is that I don't object to your playing with your mobile phone, but if you want to talk to me about your grades, I really have no better way. It is estimated that many parents have this kind of trouble.
Parent b: children are obsessed with mobile phones, just like drug addiction! I am restless and anxious beyond description! My child has been pestering me to buy him a mobile phone, but I agreed with him a long time ago that I would not buy him a mobile phone before high school. After a long time, he himself has such a concept, and he is no longer entangled. Occasionally playing for a while will also get my permission.
Parent C: I feel that children are not in charge of playing mobile phones, but consciously. She feels that she can't keep up with her grades and occasionally plays for a while. I don't usually talk about her. She has her own concept of time. If you keep nagging her, it will be counterproductive.
Parent D: The problem of playing mobile phone is really a headache for many parents. He has never had his own mobile phone. During school, he was required to play every Friday night and not touch the rest of the time. Holidays are relatively easy, and you can play according to the situation every day, but it is unconscious not to stop. There is also that children play mobile phones very seriously. I always say that if one-third of the energy spent playing mobile phones can be used for study, we will be top students.
Parent E: It can be said that children play mobile phones repeatedly! It's fun to play. I spend all the time I can pick up my mobile phone, chatting, playing games and watching videos. It can be said that the mobile phone attracts all the attention! Especially on holidays, the situation is particularly serious. When I wake up in the morning, I will see if there is any news about QQ. It will take me half an hour to see it. If only this spirit could be used in my study. I criticized her for this and made me very unhappy! It's better to play mobile phone during school. I always limit my time. I play for ten minutes to 15 minutes, but I can't bear to leave. You have to coax me into doing my homework, for fear that I will rebel. Adults can't help it. During the Chinese New Year, there is not a child who doesn't play with his mobile phone. This situation is also related to adults and the environment. If adults can control themselves, children may live better.
situation
The children in Grade Two said that all the children in the class have mobile phones and they want to buy one. Parents think that children study well and the children in the class can't fall behind, so they buy a smart phone for their children. It was fine at first, but then parents found that their children began to lock the door when they were doing their homework. Parents knocked at the door to watch her do her homework. After an hour, she looked again and still wrote that it didn't move at all. Don't turn off the lights at one or two in the evening, and often be late in the morning. I was distracted in class and my grades dropped quickly. The teacher also called, and the students reported that they were still hanging on QQ to send text messages at one o'clock in the evening. Later, she played mobile phone in class and was confiscated by the teacher. The child reacted strongly, and the mother and the teacher discussed returning the mobile phone to her first. The father took compulsory measures to unlock all the locks in the house and collect the children's mobile phones, which led to physical conflicts. At this time, the mother hurt the child and began to protect her daughter and accuse her father. The angry father ran away from home. Later, parents turned to the class teacher for help and asked the teacher to find a reason to confiscate the child's mobile phone. After the confiscation, the children began not to do their homework or even play truant. The mother was afraid and began to compromise with her child. As long as her daughter goes to school, she will buy a mobile phone. After the child has a mobile phone again, the situation is even worse. When the father saw this scene, he not only had a conflict with his daughter, but also the relationship between husband and wife began to be tense. Later, in a conflict with her daughter, the child went to the kitchen and rushed to her father with a knife, while her wife was still protecting her daughter, and her husband left home in a rage. The mother is afraid that the child will have another accident and dare not take care of the child again. Every time, I carefully accompany my smiling face to discuss whether I can have a rest and do some homework. Finally, the family broke up, the children's studies plummeted, and they didn't get into high school.
Wrong way: (1) Others have it, so we are not out of date. (2) The child locked the door, the father was simple and rude, and all the locks were removed. (3) When the father educates the child, the mother protects the calf and protects the child. (4) In class, the teacher confiscated the mobile phone, and the parents had to go back, which led to the teacher leaving it alone. (5) If the child plays truant and does not study, the mother will compromise and buy another one. (6) The child rushed to the father with a knife, and the mother protected the child. (7) Do not dare to control children and let them develop. (8) Smile, carefully coax the children to have a rest and do some homework.
solution
So, is there any good way to help children gradually get rid of their addiction to mobile phones? My suggestions are: understand and accept, agree with the rules, and guide correctly.
(1) Understand and accept
It is unrealistic to completely prevent children from playing mobile phones. Sometimes it's really inconvenient not to give your child a mobile phone. In particular, parents are very busy, and it is not timely for the elderly at home to pick up their children. Sometimes, it is really inconvenient for children to go out to play with their classmates on weekends without their mobile phones. In case something goes wrong, the child can't contact the parents, and the parents don't know where the child has gone, which is really inconvenient. In addition, as a junior high school class teacher, I deeply feel that a lot of homework needs a mobile phone to complete. For example, "homework box", school newsletter, online answering questions, etc. , you need to scan the QR code to complete. It is unrealistic for you to say that mobile phones should be completely eliminated. There is a saying that "what exists is reasonable", and some things can only be accepted on the basis of understanding, so as to make good rules.
(2)*** Same as the agreed rules.
I often see some parents reprimanding: Stop playing, why are you still playing games! Even rudely grabbed the mouse in the child's hand. These measures treat the symptoms rather than the root cause. It's better to discuss with your child in advance and let him make rules for himself, which is easier to follow.
Tell your child that you understand his need to play mobile phones, but because he can't relax at this learning stage, there should be some time rules and restrictions on playing mobile phones. When everyone is in a good mood, the family can work out a rule that * * * will abide by. Note that the rules are not unilaterally restricted to children, but need to be observed by the whole family.
Rules for children to use mobile phones may include:
1, the premise of playing mobile phone: you must finish your homework before you can play mobile phone properly. Be sure to turn off your mobile phone before the specified time at night and give it to your parents.
2. Time: Under normal circumstances, it does not exceed half an hour at a time. On Saturday and Sunday, the time may be appropriately extended after the homework is completed, but it shall not exceed one hour.
3. Location: Mobile phones are not allowed to be brought to school, and playing with mobile phones is absolutely not allowed in class.
4. The mobile phone password must be known to parents.
Once the teacher confiscates the mobile phone, he will be responsible and will not buy a new one.
6. Content: Stay away from pornographic and violent content, which is the minimum principle. Many games are full of violence. Some inexperienced children often play roles in The Imitation Game, and their real life is full of violent tendencies. Games are like poppies. Once you are addicted, you will get out of control. I have a friend's child who likes playing mobile phones since childhood. Sometimes he can play mobile phone functions that adults can't. Friends are often proud of this, complacent, and think that children are particularly smart. In particular, the child's mother once proudly said that in the future, children can develop computer software and do a second job. Children who are recognized and supported by their parents spend a lot of time immersed in games every day. As a result, their studies plummeted and their eyes were highly myopic. He could have been admitted to a key high school. He was not admitted to high school in the end, but went to a vocational school. Because of long-term addiction to the internet, mobile phones have become inseparable items, which are held for eating, walking, going to the toilet and attending classes. Every day when I open my eyes, the first thing I do is to look for my mobile phone. Before going to bed at night, I also play with my mobile phone before going to bed.
Before allowing children to play mobile phones, they should agree on the content with their children in advance, and the game content must be approved by parents before playing. At the same time, you can't swear and spread rumors on the Internet. ...
7, vision protection, the impact of mobile phones on children's vision is the most concerned issue for parents. Some children play mobile phones for hours, their eyes are close to the screen, and sometimes the light in the room is very dark. Under such bad habits, it will do great harm to the eyes and make many children wear glasses too early. Moderate light, not lying down, playing mobile phone on your stomach. The mobile phone is 30cm away from the eyes. There should be enough light indoors, especially at night. You'd better turn on the light. Don't play with your mobile phone in poor light.
(3) Correct guidance
We always complain that children don't use their mobile phones enough, don't read books and don't go out for activities. But why don't we reflect on what we want our children to do and do it ourselves?
Many parents keep their mobile phones all day and play them all day. A friend said that day, on the first New Year's Day, my husband grabbed a red envelope with his mobile phone as soon as he opened his eyes. While eating, he has been playing with his mobile phone. The angry old man at home stopped eating, and the old man said angrily that he would not go home easily. He finally went home once and even kept looking at his mobile phone. This makes the old man very sad. Imagine how persuasive it would be for such parents to ask their children not to play mobile phones. Therefore, when we have a rest by ourselves, don't lie down on the sofa and watch TV and play mobile phones. Let the children do it.
Parents must first do it; The best way to make children not obsessed with mobile phones is to help them build more attractive interests, such as sports, reading, dancing and playing musical instruments, so that children can naturally get rid of mobile phones.
Secondly, spend more time with your children and communicate with them every day. You can also cultivate hobbies, such as reading together. You can also go out for a walk, play ball, practice calligraphy and exercise together with your children ... When we all live a positive and sunny life, it is almost impossible for children to indulge in mobile phones.
Third, pay attention to your tone of voice. Too much criticism can't solve the problem, but it will hurt each other and push the problem to the point where no one wants to see it. If children play too much, they must be criticized and punished. Parents can adopt a gentle and rational way, which will impress their children more and be more effective. You can say, "I see you have been playing games all day." I'm worried about your state of mind and body, and your behavior makes me angry. You are a child who can take care of himself. I hope you can play less for two hours tomorrow. When do you think you can stop playing? "
At the same time, don't be rude.
Fourth: Parents should keep the same attitude when educating their children, and don't want one to educate their children and the other to protect their calves. This will not only fail to achieve the educational effect, but also make children more "aggressive".
Fifth, there is no compromise on matters of principle, such as the time, content and place of playing mobile phones. Never compromise blindly because of the child's strong demand and fear of not allowing the child to have an accident.
Postholiday syndrome
(1) Irregular diet, overeating snacks.
During the winter vacation, the Spring Festival is coming. There must be enough snacks at home, and parents are easy to indulge their children. Many children stuffed snacks into their mouths while playing games, visited relatives and friends, and all kinds of snacks were full. Children eat without restraint. Speaking of eating, I have lost my appetite. Some parents don't care about this and think it's a trivial matter. As long as the children are full and eat differently, some parents say something innocently even if they feel bad, and the children don't take it seriously at all. Eating snacks is very harmful to children's health. Especially nowadays, many snacks are either puffed food or fried food, which contains many additives, which is very unfavorable to children's physical development. Long-term consumption will not only increase the burden on the stomach, but also affect the development of the brain and intelligence.
Tip: Try to buy some healthy snacks, such as dried and fresh fruits. Snacks can't be eaten, but they must be controlled. The diet can't always be big fish and big meat. It should be accompanied by meat and vegetables. It is best to reach a "snack plan" with your child in advance, such as how much to eat a day and how to deal with snacks given by others.
(2) Irregular work and rest
It's cold in winter, and children get up early every day for school. After the winter vacation, I immediately started the "hibernation mode", and even when I had breakfast, I couldn't shout it out. It is understandable that children sleep in occasionally. But once such a habit is formed, it is difficult to change it after school starts. Because once the biological clock is disturbed, it takes a long time to adapt. This is not only bad for adapting to the new learning period, but also bad for health.
Tips: Don't expect children to manage their time consciously and reasonably. This requires parents to do a good job of supervision. Work out a reasonable schedule with your child, such as when to go to bed and when to get up. You can give children some small rewards to improve their enthusiasm. Once good habits are formed, it can make parents' work easier when they start school.
(3) Learning is completely forgotten.
At the beginning of winter vacation, many children relax themselves and put their studies aside completely. In fact, winter vacation is a good time to check the missing information. Some students have made great progress since the beginning of school. In fact, they are also working hard in the winter vacation.
Tips: Primary and secondary schools will have a winter vacation homework once. In addition to completing winter vacation homework regularly and quantitatively every day, there should also be regular and planned review. According to the final grade, you can check and fill in the gaps. If time permits, you can also preview your lessons in advance.
(4) Don't go out at home
During the winter vacation, many children do their homework, that is, watch TV and play games and stay at home. Parents think that they won't go out until they go out. It's cold in winter and it's messy outside. Stay at home and rest assured. If children stay at home for a long time, they will get bored. Besides eating snacks, they also play games. On the one hand, it is easy to get fat, and they will become mentally exhausted.
Tips: Encourage children to go out more. It's the Spring Festival, so parents must prepare new year's goods and visit relatives and friends. When you go shopping in the supermarket, you can bring your children, let them participate and help you carry things. Familiar relatives can also take their children with them, teach them some holiday customs and etiquette, enrich their winter vacation life, and learn rules.
I can't play around at home.
Contrary to the above, some children run around and play during the holidays. One day away from home, it is not a class reunion, or three or five students are called to go to the park and go to the classmates' home to play. Parents want their children to accept their hearts, but the children will confidently say, "I don't go to school at ordinary times, and I don't let them have holidays." Do you want to suppress me? " At this time, parents must clearly stipulate the rules of studying at home and going out to play with classmates. Otherwise, if you play for too long, when the school starts, the children will not be able to accept it for a while, which will affect their study.