The question that people are most interested in sex life is probably the frequency of sex life. After marriage, people can't help asking, how many times is sexual intercourse appropriate? It's a long story. Generally speaking, couples aged 20 to 30, 3 to 5 times a week; 3 1 ~ 40-year-old couple, 3 ~ 4 times a week; 4 1 ~ 50-year-old couple, 2 ~ 3 times a week; 51~ couples aged 55, once a week 1 ~ 2 times; Couples aged 56 to 60, average weekly 1 time. Generally speaking, the number of sexual intercourse is basically inversely proportional to age, that is, the older you are, the less the number of sexual intercourse is. Most readers are aware of these situations. Every couple is a unique combination, and their situation is also very different. There are individual differences in physiological differences between men and women, even in the same sex. There are many differences between people in age, personality, physique and occupation, so the number of sexual intercourse between different couples varies greatly. Due to the influence of climate, environment, disease and work, even the number of sexual intercourse of the same couple often changes.
The number of times mentioned above is only approximate statistics, and it is not necessarily abnormal to be higher or lower than these figures. People are understandably worried about sex. Many newspapers and books list that many emperors in ancient times were addicted to physical injuries and rarely lived to be over 80 years old. But what is "lust"? There is no doubt that many ancient emperors indulged in physical injury and loss of life. For lust, these emperors not only had excessive sexual intercourse, but also sought and abused aphrodisiac tonics in various ways, and these drugs containing androgen or lead often damaged sexual function and health. Therefore, some newspapers often use these materials to scare people intentionally or unintentionally when they move out of the emperor to explain the problem. If both husband and wife are healthy, sexually active and have no discomfort after sex, then the frequency of sexual life is much higher than the general statistics, which is not necessarily called "indulgence" or "harmful". Because under normal circumstances, most of the sexual life between husband and wife will be naturally adjusted. This theory of "indulgence hurts the body" unilaterally regards sex as a tool to preserve health and prolong life. Of course, a happy and harmonious sexual life plays a very important role in couples' physical and mental health and longevity, but this refers to paying attention to sexual health care and health preservation and disease prevention, including using various sexual skills and correctly using the means of complementary yin and yang. Under the influence of feudal superstition, one-way "collecting yin and nourishing yang" replaced "yin and yang complement" and "consolidating essence" replaced "cherishing essence". In this way, it is the correct way to "solidify" and "return" the essence in men without ejaculation or even sexual life, instead of harmonious and normal sexual life to achieve the purpose of health care. The fallacies such as "one drop of essence, ten drops of blood", "overwork is fatal" and "the loss of essence is harmful to the health" also came into being. This kind of sexual ignorance has ruled our people for hundreds of years.
Many newspapers and books mentioned: "The principle is that neither side will feel tired the next day in after making love. If there is heavy head and back pain, shortness of breath or loss of appetite, it means that sexual life is too frequent and should be adjusted in time. " This formulation is generally correct. But it is not absolute. Feeling tired after sex is often caused by excitement. After playing for a long time, I have less rest time, and I will feel tired the next day, but this is not necessarily the number of sexual intercourse itself, but the time is not well mastered. As long as the schedule is adjusted, it is not necessarily caused by excessive sexual intercourse. On the other hand, if the frequency of sexual intercourse is high, it will be exaggerated, which will not only help, but will increase psychological pressure and inhibit sexual desire.
The 35-year-old woman mentioned at the beginning of this article is also worried about "sexual abuse". The sex counselor told her that she didn't need to worry about the impact of frequent sexual life on her body. If she is still in good spirits after sex, don't worry too much. The doctor pointed out to her that women are more adaptable and introduced adequate sexual skills such as flirting before sex. So, she let go of her thoughts and devoted herself to her sex life, and the husband and wife had a happy and harmonious sex life. My husband is a driver recently, and sometimes he comes home late from work, but now he comes home early from work.
In the eyes of many men, the more frequent sexual intercourse, the more they can prove their sexual ability and show their "glory". They try their best to meet their wives' demands, hoping to prove their strength from sexual excitement. Their repeated sexual intercourse in one night is not so much sexual pleasure as psychological satisfaction. They can only take comfort from such a glorious history. On the contrary, it reduces the quality of their sexual life. Because, the shorter the interval between two sexual intercourse, the less semen is injected, and the more times it is repeated in a short time, it may cause no ejaculation at all, and the sexual pleasure will further decline. Harmonious and happy sex life means that both men and women get sexual pleasure and psychological satisfaction, not the pursuit of sexual intercourse itself. Some young and middle-aged couples only have sex three or two times a week, but both sides are very satisfied. It should also be said that these couples have a harmonious sexual life.
For the above-mentioned 43-year-old woman, her sexual desire is strong and her husband is weak, which can't meet her requirements. The doctor also relieved her psychological burden and introduced some specific methods to her. When her husband failed in sexual life, she did not blame and abandon her, but comforted and encouraged her. Sometimes her sexual desire is not satisfied, and she no longer shows irritability and littering, but adopts other auxiliary methods, including masturbation, to alleviate sexual hunger. When her husband made even a little progress, she expressed satisfaction and approval. Pay attention to strengthening diet nutrition at ordinary times and encourage husbands to take proper physical exercise. So that the husband's sexual ability is gradually strengthened, and the husband and wife's life tends to be harmonious and warm. She is also very grateful to the psychological doctor for his guidance and help.
Men also pursue the number of sexual intercourse, because they have some misunderstandings about it and think that the more women ask, the better. In fact, this view is very incomplete. Generally speaking, although a woman can have multiple orgasms during one or more sexual intercourse, she often gets more pleasure from the first orgasm. Endless stimulation will also reduce a woman's sensitivity. Some women ask for the second or even the third sexual intercourse, and often the first one or two sexual intercourse failed to reach a satisfactory orgasm, so they hope to get compensation in the second or even the third sexual intercourse. There are also some men who think that women have never refused to ask for sex every time, mistakenly thinking that women have such needs, but they don't know that these women are fulfilling their obligations, and how many times their husbands need it, they will cooperate. When their obligations are fulfilled, their hearts will be relieved. They think that after having sex with their husbands, their psychological security will increase and their doubts about their husbands will disappear. May people treat sex correctly and get pleasure and warmth from it.
People often ask what is the best frequency of sexual life? The reason why I ask these questions is that I hope to have a correct guidance on the way of sexual life; The second is to worry that too much sexual life is harmful to the body; Third, couples have different requirements for sexual life and hope to have an objective standard.
What kind of sexual frequency is the standard? It can be said that there is no recognized standard since ancient times. Dong Zhongshu, a representative of Confucianism in the Western Han Dynasty, advocated that "hunger is a trivial matter and humiliation is a major event". In summing up the art of sexual intercourse in the Spring and Autumn Period, he said: "It is because a new breed has been swimming in the room for ten days. Middle-aged people are twice as big as the new breed, those who are at the beginning of decline are twice as big as those who are at the beginning of decline, and those who are at the age of the new breed are on the same day as heaven. This means that young men can have sex every ten days, middle-aged men can have sex every 20 days, and those who are weak are doubled.
The Secret of the Jade House, a monograph on the art of sexual intercourse, is looser than the Confucian standard;
When the male is fifteen years old, the prosperous one can give it again one day, the loser can give it once a day, the prosperous one can give it again at the age of twenty, and the loser can give it once a day. On New Year's Eve, the prosperous person can give it once a day, and the second person can give it once every two days. Forty, those who are prosperous will be given once every three days, and those who are empty will be given once every four days. Fifty, the prosperous can be given once every five days, and the weak can be given once every ten days. Sixty, the prosperous can give once every ten days, and the weak can give once every twenty days. Seventy, the full can be given once every 30 days, and the weak do not have diarrhea (giving refers to ejaculation).
Sun Si, a famous doctor in the Tang Dynasty, wrote "A thousand dollars is the best prescription". The frequency of sexual intercourse is described as: people talk ten times and vent once every four days. 30 years old, the sky leaks. Forty, sixteen and eleven. 50 people will be discharged from the hospital on the 20th. Sixty people, that is, turn off the sperm and stop draining. If they are strong, they will be lost in 1 month 1 day.
Visible, China ancient experts have different views on the frequency of sexual life, which can be said that different people have different opinions.
What is the current situation of sexual life frequency of modern people in China? Let's take a look at the results of a survey of 20,000 cases of sexual civilization in China hosted by Professor Le Dalin: among urban and rural couples, the average number of sexual intercourse per month in recent years is below 11.8% in cities and 7.8% in rural areas; On average, 2-3 times a month, urban couples accounted for 30. &; 127; 5%, accounting for 21.1%in rural areas; 24.6% of them are in cities and 29.8% are in rural areas. 6-7 times a month on average, city 18.8%, 26. % in rural areas; 8- 15 times a month, urban 8%, rural 1 1.4%, having sex almost every day, urban 1.9%, rural 2.2%. The average number of sexual intercourse per month in urban and rural areas is 4.8. Another group of domestic investigation reports shows that in130&; 127; Among middle-aged men aged 40-49, according to the number of sexual intercourse per month, there are 27 out of 7-8 times, 13 times, 10 times, 4 times, 15 times, 3 times and 2 times out of 20 times.
These survey data show that under the same circumstances, the frequency of sexual life varies greatly, especially among middle-aged people aged 40-49. It is a far cry from 1 time a month or less than 1 time a month and less than 20 times a month. So it can be seen that the frequency of sexual life will not have a universal truth.
The consensus of modern scholars is that "it varies from person to person, so let it go". This means that everyone's sexual desire and sexual intercourse ability are different, and they don't insist on consistency. As long as the frequency of sexual intercourse is acceptable to both husband and wife, it is normal to feel no physical discomfort such as fatigue, fatigue and low back pain after sexual intercourse.