"Our biggest enemy is not others, but ourselves."
Today's society is a society with rapid economic and technological development. Competition pervades every corner of society. Although we have always had opponents and our opponents have been putting pressure on us, the real enemy is ourselves. We ourselves often become the biggest stumbling block to our success. Many times, we failed. Actually, it's not mainly for other reasons. The main reason often comes from ourselves, but we pull ourselves back. If you don't stand still, you must know yourself, know yourself, recognize your strengths and weaknesses, make full use of your strengths, avoid your weaknesses, and correct your weaknesses.
Only by knowing yourself can we maintain a normal mentality when making achievements, and we will not be complacent, lose ourselves and overestimate our abilities; Only by knowing yourself, will you not be knocked down by setbacks and failures, will you continue to work hard for the established goals, and will you not underestimate yourself. No one can succeed smoothly, and nothing can be achieved without hard work. When we encounter setbacks and retreat for various reasons, we must re-recognize ourselves. Only on the basis of a correct understanding of ourselves can we find the navigation coordinates again and move forward in the direction of victory.
In the street, we asked a few people casually if he knew himself, and the answer was generally yes. Many times, we always think that we know ourselves best, and we always know ourselves very well. Do you really know yourself? No, many people actually don't know themselves at all, and they can't know themselves correctly at all.
Many times, we always think we are right, but only when things have a result do we find our mistakes. We often think that we have fully understood ourselves, but in fact we are blinded by ourselves, or we don't want to be unable to understand ourselves and know ourselves correctly. We are paralyzed by our appearance.
How to know yourself? Knowing yourself means knowing your personality, characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, ideals, survival purpose, values, interests, hobbies, hatred, mental state, physical state, life rules, family background, social status, social circle and friends circle. Are you at the peak or trough of your life now, what are your long-term or short-term goals, what do you want to do most, what are your pains and what can you do?
We can make the above content into a table, then fill it in carefully, and then make a careful and correct analysis to find our own strengths and weaknesses, our own strengths and weaknesses. You can always alert yourself and correct your thoughts and behaviors at any time in the future. A personal evaluation form is attached for your reference. )
Second, learn to control your thoughts instead of letting them dominate you.
Our specific activities are guided by thoughts, and every behavior is controlled by our thoughts, some of which are unintentional and some are intentional. However, thought is built on our limbs, and it must originate from our bodies. Before thinking controls activities, we must actively and correctly guide them, or control and correct their mistakes and issue correct action instructions. In this way, our behavior will reduce impulsive factors, make our emotions more stable, and we can look at problems more rationally.
If you want to control your thoughts and let them be controlled by yourself, you must know what you want to do, what you can do and what you can't do. When all this is clear, we can set a rule for our behavior in our minds, and use this rule to force ourselves to do what we should and should not do, and so on.
It's not easy to control your mind. In the process of activities, the principles we set for ourselves will be influenced by various factors from time to time, which will make the principles we adhere to begin to shake or even collapse. Therefore, in the process of activities, we should review our behavior from time to time, think about our own gains and losses, and reduce our impulsive and radical psychology, so as to regain the control of our thoughts and make our behavior more rational.
For example, some people are studying, and when they see a classmate playing football, they can't control themselves immediately. Although they struggled internally, they were quickly defeated by various reasons they found. Some people know that spending too much time online is bad for their health, but they still can't overcome the temptation of the Internet. Some people have the bad habit of stealing knowledge, but they are defeated by their own material desires and finally become habitual thieves. When our thoughts begin to waver, we must pay attention to mastering our own thoughts, controlling our own thoughts and regaining control over our own thoughts, so as to persistently complete our tasks and achieve our goals.
Third, set lofty goals and find your idol.
The goal we are talking about is not necessarily to fight for the cause of * * * for life, although in a sense, each of us should set such a goal, but to be honest, this goal is really not easy to set up, and many people only stay in words. It is very good for us teenagers to set up the goal of serving the people wholeheartedly without harming the interests of others. In any case, we need to set a lofty goal. Only by setting lofty goals can we have a direction of hard work and not act blindly.
Setting goals can be long-term or short-term. Long-term goals can be what you want to do in the future, what great things you want to achieve in this life, how old you are and how much money you want to earn. In a word, our goal should be what we want to do most. Of course, it's best not to want to play games all your life or become a thief gambler in the future. Our goal must be normal, and we can't harm the interests of others. If not, then you should first look at your outlook on life, your inner world and see if there is anything wrong with your personality.
With the most desired goal, our thoughts and behaviors will be influenced to a certain extent, which can correct our thoughts and behaviors to a certain extent and play a positive role in enhancing our self-control.
Long-term goals may sometimes have little effect on our current actions, which requires us to set short-term goals, preferably short-term goals. For example, how far we have to run for physical exercise this morning; When the homework must be finished; When must we recite this article? You are not allowed to enter the game room today; How many points should I get in this unit exam, and so on. Use these short-term goals to correct your behavior at any time and spur yourself to work hard. If you persist in this way for a long time, your self-control will naturally increase.
Setting goals is an important way to cultivate and enhance our self-control In addition, we can also look for our idols, take idols as an example, and always adjust our behavior and thoughts by taking idols as an example.
Idols can be revolutionary martyrs, national heroes, scientists, writers, athletes, business elites, outstanding students and so on. Generally speaking, the idols we choose should be people with similar ideas and great contributions to society. Only in this way can we follow the example of idols, stimulate our own behavior and adjust our own thoughts, so as to play a better role. Of course, you can also imitate singers and movie stars. They have also contributed to society, at least they can play a positive role for us. If you regard local hooligans, legendary thieves, casino gamblers and other negative figures as idols, it will only have a negative effect and push you to the abyss of failure and even crime. Many teenagers' bad habits are caused by bad influences.
Fourth, strengthen the concept of time.
Many people can't find their own mistakes, but they can't correct them, or there is no correct way to correct them. Many people, whenever they find their own mistakes, always make up their minds in their hearts that "from tomorrow on, I must correct all my mistakes and start from scratch." As a result, day by day passed, and I repeated this idea day by day, and I was annoyed day by day. I feel that this idea is getting stronger every day, but I can't succeed in one day.
"Tomorrow is tomorrow, there will be so many tomorrows. I will live tomorrow, and everything will be in vain. "
A person's life time is limited. If you can live 65,438+000 years, it will be more than 30,000 days. It is enough for us to spend 60 years on our studies and careers. Even if you can study and work for 60 years, it will take about 20 thousand days. Every day, our life will be shortened, and every day wasted, we will lose many opportunities. When we lose a day, we lose more than time.
Time is precious. Seize every day and we will take a step towards success. Every day we give up, not only can we not move forward, but we may even retreat, and one day we will sink. However, many people don't have a strong sense of time. They think that life is still long and there is more time, which leads to the shortage of time day by day, the weakening of self-control day by day, and the further away from the other side of success.
Some people are used to saying "I will do it tomorrow" or "I will work hard from tomorrow" and so on, and often say tomorrow. Tomorrow! really a lot We have to count tomorrow two or three thousand times with ten fingers, but if we all make excuses for tomorrow when we are lazy, and if we all make excuses for tomorrow when we are paralyzed, then we will waste time day by day until there is no tomorrow. "If we don't cherish today's people, tomorrow will be the last day of our lives."
If you want to make your self-control stronger and not let your self-control be defeated by yourself, you must focus on today. No matter what you should do today, you should try to finish it today, and you should try to correct what needs to be corrected today. Only in this way can we control ourselves every day and take the initiative to control our lives, and our self-control will be strengthened day by day, so as to ensure that our study and work will advance rapidly in the direction of success.
Fifth, cultivate and train your self-control in a targeted manner.
Self-control is not the same in all cases. When we meet something we like, we can stick to it without feeling tired, and nothing can tempt us. I can't stick to something I'm tired of, and I don't want to do it for a while. Any temptation can make us give up. At this time, interest acts as a helper of our self-control.
For example, people who like reading novels, a set of three or four novels, hundreds of thousands of words, can keep reading, even won't put down their meals, and they have to struggle to support for one or two nights; People who like playing football will be happy if you let them play for half a day. If they are tired and thirsty, they will drink a glass of water and continue to play, lest they have no chance for a while. People who like listening to songs will not get tired of hanging headphones in their ears all day long. Aren't you tired of reading all day? Aren't you tired of playing football for half a day? Aren't you tired of listening to music all day? No, in this case, they won't feel tired at all. That's because they like it, and they are interested. But if you let him read textbooks for a day, not to mention one day, he will feel exhausted even if he reads them for an hour, which is more tired than playing football and reading novels for two days.
If you want to strengthen self-control, you should not only cultivate your extensive interests, but also start with things you don't like. If you don't want to read the textbook after reading it for an hour, encourage yourself to read it for another half an hour and encourage yourself to read it for another ten minutes. If we give ourselves more encouragement and stick to it bit by bit, our self-control will gradually increase. I can only do it for myself for half an hour at first, and then I can add another ten minutes for a while and another ten minutes for a while. In the face of adversity, our self-control is the easiest to strengthen, but we should pay attention to the pressure exerted by adversity not to go beyond our own scope.
Fourth, specific methods to enhance self-control.
We talked about how to strengthen our self-control in theory. Now, I'd like to list some specific ways to enhance self-control, hoping to help you.
First, sit-in method.
Meditation is one of our ancient health preserving methods, which can dredge meridians, balance qi and blood, prolong life and benefit physical and mental health. At the same time, meditation is also conducive to the cultivation and training of our self-control. It can even be said that meditation is the simplest and most effective way to train self-control.
The specific practice of meditation: sitting in a chair or sofa, with different feet, head and neck upright, eyes looking straight ahead, back straight, shoulders drooping, whole body relaxed, then closing your eyes, trying to eliminate distractions, and concentrating your consciousness wholeheartedly on your abdomen (it is difficult to eliminate distractions at the beginning of training, because it is not easy to control your attention, distractions will gradually disappear), and actively adjust your abdominal posture.
When we sit still, we can set ourselves a sitting time, which can generally be set at 15 minutes at the beginning. During this sitting time, there will be various factors affecting us from time to time, such as inattention, itchy skin, head and neck pain, hands and feet wanting to move and so on. When these situations happen, you must try your best to stop yourself, keep your posture still, concentrate and stick to the planned time. Through this training, we will slowly lengthen the sitting time, so that our self-control will be enhanced with the longer we sit. It can also increase the difficulty of meditation, such as meditation of Buddhism and Taoism, which is more difficult, but it seems that it is not something that ordinary people can do.
The author takes the students in two classes of Grade One in junior high school as the experimental objects. Students in a class sit quietly for five minutes every day. After a while, the students sat still and told jokes from time to time. After a month's training, it is found that the class that passed the training not only has good classroom discipline, but also has much better self-study discipline and students' sitting temperament than the class that failed the training.
Although there will be some pain in the early stage of meditation, such as always feeling itchy all over the body, if you don't grasp it, you will feel very uncomfortable, but these pains are harmless to your body. Overcoming them will enhance our control over ourselves, and at the same time, we can exercise and strengthen our physique.
Second, the habit formation method.
Habit is our stable, even automatic behavior, and it is our behavior tendency. In our daily life, study and work, we unconsciously carry out this kind of behavior.
In the abstract, behavior forms habit, habit forms character, and character determines fate. Therefore, forming good habits is beneficial to our life.
According to American psychologists and educators, it takes 2 1 day to form a habit. In other words, if you want to form a habit, you only need to keep this behavior for 2 1 day. Of course, some people may be more than 2 1 day. This is because I haven't conducted relevant experiments, and I'm not sure. In the process of habit formation, you can't give up halfway. Just stop and probably just start from the beginning. I don't mean to continue this behavior for 2 1 day, but to do it every day for 2 1 day, and I can't stop doing it every other day.
In life, we can use time to form our own habits, such as getting up at 6: 30 every morning on time; Go for a morning run for half an hour every morning; Read for an hour every night, etc. As long as you can keep doing this for 2 1 day, you are likely to form a habit.
Some people think that this is simply an oriental myth. It takes 2 1 day to form a habit, so it is too easy to form a habit. Don't underestimate this 2 1 day. Although it looks short, many people will not persist in the middle because of various influences. Because today is the weekend, I want to sleep in instead of getting up at 6 o'clock; Because it's raining today, make excuses for yourself not to go for a morning run or something. These are all temptations to oneself, hoping to defeat the opponent. As long as we overcome this temptation once, our self-control will be strengthened by one point, and as long as we are knocked down by this temptation once, our self-control will be reduced by one point.
Developing good habits can not only directly affect our study and life, but also cultivate our self-control ability. Young friends, from now on, from the time schedule, make a timetable for yourself, arrange your own time to get up and go to bed, arrange your own time to exercise, and then work hard to complete this plan for 2 1 day in a row. I believe that as long as you can stick to 2 1 day, then you can stick to 3 1 day and 4 1 day. ...