Lovely girls generally don't marry well, do they? Nowadays, many girls belong to that kind of lovely girl. Although boys want to find such a girl as a wife, generally speaking, lovely girls are hard to marry. The cute girls shared below are generally not married well, right?
Good girls usually marry badly, don't they? 1 As the saying goes, a woman's heart is like a needle in the sea. Men chase women across the mountain. Women chasing men, laminated yarn. So what's the problem? I don't know. The ideal is full, and the reality is too skinny. But I really want to say, beauty, long snacks! The requirements should not be too high and the conditions should not be harsh. If you meet the right boyfriend or girl and are willing to hold hands with you for life, then get married! Because it is now or never, time never comes again.
Good girls are preferred: conservative in thought, conservative in dress and conservative in behavior. The whole thing is that it is not attractive to men.
Second: don't take the initiative to chase people, it is not easy to be chased. Boys nowadays basically like to be easy to use. When they see beautiful women, they all want to taste them to see if they have a good appetite. Good girls are hard to break through.
Third: a good girl, who knows how to think of others, is busy working hard every day or dealing with relatives and friends around her parents, and has less time to fall in love.
Fourth, a good girl's life circle is small: except for going to work every day, family and colleagues, two or three girlfriends, and basically no friends, it is difficult to make boyfriends.
Fifth, darling's life is too good. They don't go to nightclubs, drink or go out at night. Many of them still do not travel. They have to report to their parents wherever they go, and their parents have to worry about where they go. For the sake of their parents, they don't worry about nagging and simply don't go out. The fewer people you know in this way, the harder it is to meet the right person.
There is something special about a good girl: she listens to her parents especially. Just like a child who hasn't grown up, no matter what his parents say is right or wrong, it seems that he doesn't dare to contradict his parents a little, and he has no opinion of himself.
For the man, a girl who has no opinion means no sense of security. Especially when parents object to two people being together, the girl's good girl character begins to work, and immediately shows a weak side, without any courage and strength in love. In this case, if you have a boyfriend, she will drag you down and break up sooner or later!
Not only girls, but also boys.
Maybe it has something to do with the character of China people. The social circle of most men and women in our country is too small for you to imagine.
There are many such girls around me. Take my deskmate in primary school as an example. She has always been a banhua, with a height of 17 1. After graduating from college, she worked in a state-owned enterprise and grew up in the center of the provincial capital city. Her parents seem to have bought a house. Her criteria for choosing a spouse are: a boy who is taller than himself, has a stable job and doesn't ask for a house, but he hopes to have an enterprising heart, and he will be gone.
However, a girl with this condition has been single until now, except for a love affair that broke up in college.
The main reason why she is single is that she doesn't know where to meet boys.
If you go to work, the whole company will not recruit a few new people a year, leaving behind high-quality male predecessors, either married or married.
I watch TV series in my spare time, brush Taobao, go to the gym to dance, and travel with my parents and friends when I get paid.
Almost all the men and women around me live this life.
My roommate, a boy, has a good family and a stable job. In Shenzhen, I go to the gym after work every day, fall asleep when I get home, and go to the library to read books on weekends. All social activities are with us.
Now the reunion of junior and senior high school students is simply a blind date. It can be seen how small everyone's social circle is after graduation from college.
The popularity of dating programs is also related to this.
Why are there so many social software? Because everyone has social needs!
But the truth is, most people are used to being alone. Although they really want to find someone, they can't find a reliable way. Parents and elders are the ones who ultimately help blind date.
Well, that's it.
Therefore, I think that the first step for both boys and girls to find a partner is not to make themselves better, but to let others know about you.
Lovely girls generally don't marry well, do they? Lovely girls, daughters raised in the wrong way, mostly become losers in dealing with intimate relationships. Don't blame me for being mean, I'll teach you some remedies.
A good girl often becomes a loser who can't handle intimate relationships well.
The more I answer your question, the more I find that although the details are very different, your question has its commonness, so I will choose a representative question from your question and tell you more deeply. This column is a revision of the original Q&A column. There is no chicken soup here, only solutions are provided. Maybe some articles will challenge traditional cognition, but what I will never give up is to tell you how the real world works.
Today's case comes from a 40-year-old woman whose experience is very detailed and slightly longer. Her experience is a typical case in which a good girl is unclear about the important choice (marriage) and the choice of a person, which eventually leads to difficulties. The reason is not unrelated to her parents' wrong upbringing. Looking down, there are many dry goods.
I am a 40-year-old female, working as an accountant in a prefecture-level city, with a monthly income of less than 3000 yuan. Home conditions are better and there are too many guarantees. I only played with girls since I was a child. I have no love experience. At the age of 26, I was introduced to my first husband, a civil servant, a rural person and a poor family. He comes to my house every day and his parents are very satisfied. He thought he was indifferent to me, but he got married anyway. After marriage, he has been arguing about bringing his mother home to live. He has three brothers. After we met, we came to the city to rent a house.
I think renting a house is right next to my home, so I can visit it every day. Besides, the house is small. But he kept arguing, and later he learned that his uncle came to work in the city on the premise that his two brothers were unreliable and his mother would take care of him in the future. He married me because my family didn't want money. My parents paid more than half of the house, and all the other invitations were borrowed and returned after marriage. We had no children and divorced three years later. I won't say it in a few years, and I dare not say it.
At the age of 35, he introduced his second husband, who was also poor in the countryside, but worked hard and stayed away. He is 4 1 year-old, has worked for many years and is hardworking. But unwilling to learn and adapt to society. After the blind date, she was very kind to me. I just wanted to find a real and reliable one and got married. In the first two years, he was fine outside, except that he was stubborn, unwilling to listen to different opinions, conservative and exclusive, and even wary of his relatives. After my parents got sick, he always listened to my sister and accused me of being suspicious.
I want to have a good second marriage, and it's no use explaining it. After another three years, they have nothing in common, have different views, always quarrel for his sister, have no children, and are on the verge of marriage. I don't know why. I am kind to others, but I get nothing in return. I have nothing against his daughter, but I am scared to see that she looks down on her father and doesn't learn to play mobile phones every day. If she can be so rude to her father, how long can I stay in this house? Now I can wash clothes and cook. What should I do when I am old?
This bingo worked very hard in his relationship, but made mistakes step by step, reaching a dilemma. Why?
In fact, the reason was given at the beginning of her complaint-"family conditions are good, too much protection, only playing with girls since childhood, no love experience."
Most girls from well-off families in China grew up in the form of "good girls", and their parents have unlimited will to ask their daughters to do whatever they say. Create a "sterile" environment, strictly guard against death, and prevent daughters from having more contact with little boys.
Parents make daughters that conform to the "traditional paradigm" with good intentions, comprehensively suppress their children's self-will, and create good girls who think they are favored by the marriage market. However, such a good girl often grows up to be a loser who can't handle intimate relationships well.
A good girl's life is the standard of a shepherd's family.
Everyone has his own internal resources, including knowledge system, cognitive ability and spiritual structure. These are people's intangible assets. Everyone's decision at a critical moment in life stems from the allocation of their own internal resources. Your internal resources and your family background, family environment, social relations and other disposable external resources together constitute your [fundamentals].
Your fundamentals determine all your decisions and implementation, reflect your strengths and weaknesses, and continue to influence every step in your future. And every choice has brought you today's life.
What kind of person will be a good girl? Good girls are the most prominent biological group in artificial domestication. You can picture the sheep in the sheepfold in your mind, and you will probably understand that these creatures are kept in a fence, guarding their duty of eating grass.
If it is a beast in essence, even if it is locked in a sheepfold, it will show its fangs and break through the fence at a certain age. There are three necessary conditions for being a good girl-
1。 Self weakness
2。 The fence is too high.
3。 Be imprisoned long enough.
Sheep-type women usually have a shepherd-type parent as the standard. Their duty is to ensure that the sheep always stay in a safe circle. Their characteristics are loyalty to the stereotype of traditional gender roles, laziness in updating knowledge structure and extremely strong will. A good girl gives her parents the right to choose their own lives, so she is comfortable and doesn't have to take responsibility. Although her parents' choice may not satisfy her, "parents are satisfied" and she is married.
In fact, China's parents are not very clever in dealing with intimate relationships. In particular, such parents often hide the relationship between men and women, fearing that their daughters will learn badly. In fact, good girls can learn little about gender in the fence. It's a pity that you never know what the straight road should be like without detours, and you never know what kind of man you can perfectly adapt to without talking about several times of love. Life needs "trial and error", especially in adolescence, and there is enough time to improve your cognition. Without learning period, there is no cognitive period.
A good girl is a group with poor spiritual resources. She is small and can live in harmony with her parents. However, if a female university wants to get married, the sheep will always be out of the circle one day. Good girls know nothing about men, but family is not a so-called "warm harbor". Marriage is a complex systematic project, which requires clear goals, qualified partners and a series of complex operations that should be flexibly adjusted with development.
A good girl's engagement and marriage is similar to letting primary school students go out of the Three Gorges Project. Unless her parents choose a son-in-law against buff's wishes, or her family's economic conditions are particularly high, she will basically become a unfinished project in her life.
It's not that you can't be happy, it's just that girls' operational ability is too low and their chances of success are too low.
Nothing happens for no reason, tragicomedy has its origin, doesn't it?
A good girl's guide to finding leaks and filling vacancies
There are serious deficiencies in the internal resources of good girls, so it is a systematic project to improve the knowledge structure and emotional cognition. I can't give a counterattack guide in an article. Anyone who says he can give it to the public security bureau at once must be a liar. I will try to give some simple principles in this article.
The first problem is to analyze your strengths and weaknesses and define your goals.
Marriage is a team copy, so you must know your own advantages and disadvantages. Prepare a piece of paper and objectively write down your strengths and weaknesses and your goals. The advantages here include looks, figure and family background, while the disadvantages include temper, income and good health.
The second step is to find a suitable fellow traveler according to the needs.
What kind of traveling companion is a good fellow traveler? Consistent values and complementary skills. The investigation period cannot be too short. Once major problems (such as money, low emotional concentration, complicated family background, etc.) are found, they should be cut off quickly.
The third step is to supplement the knowledge structure, improve the ability to solve emotions and treat marriage with operational thinking.
Good girls usually marry badly, don't they? 3 Let's talk about the problem that girls can't get married if their family conditions are good.
Since they are good girls, most of them will listen to their parents and marry a man whose parents have a good impression on them. Since their family conditions are good, girls who grew up in rich life don't care so much about money, and married people naturally have good family conditions. In the eyes of a good girl, the marriage conditions are average, and there is not much change before, but in the eyes of people with average family circumstances, life has been much higher!
Some good girls marry a man who is soft in their eyes. Such a man is generally good-looking, has a good mouth and a sweet mouth, and relies heavily on his parents and wife before marriage. This kind of person starts with good female parents, tries to please them in every way, and is willing to treat her in-laws as her own sons. After their parents are taken down, they will pursue girls with sweet words, and good female parents will help them, so the two are combined.
Although sometimes I feel that this man is timid and incompetent and regrets marrying such a person, the good girl after marriage is still herself! You can lose your temper at will, don't clean up the housework, go back to your parents at any time, don't cater to your in-laws, and continue to do what she likes. On the surface, the family conditions are average, and the marriage is not good, but generally, after marriage, the family is centered on her, she is the boss of the family, and everything belongs to her.
Next, let's talk about the topic of money worshippers.
I think there are two reasons why this gold digger marries well. Because of these two specialties, rich people are willing to bow to their knees.
1, the appearance should be outstanding.
How many ugly women are there? Rich people are willing to find a good-looking person to be their wife, so that they can get their hands on it and face it.
It is a fact that the quality of life after marriage with good looks is higher than that with average looks. Friends and classmates around me are like this. There is a girl in the university dormitory, tall and thin, with a lovely face. There are countless boys chasing her. She is cheerful, eloquent and sophisticated. She has a very good relationship with the counselor and has won various scholarships. At that time, she was not only a cadre in the class, but also a cadre of the student union.
She is like a star in class. Everyone pays attention to her and envies her. After graduating from college, she returned to her city, found a stable job as a teacher, and got married with very good family conditions. Now she lives happily. In the eyes of a person with a general family like me, her life is similar to that of the heroine in Mary Su's novels.
Generally, good-looking girls bring them a lot of self-confidence, are very open-minded, have a better relationship with boys than girls, can be brothers with boys and are plastic sisters with most girls. Most girls are jealous of them, and it is difficult to meet sisters who are really good to themselves. This is their subconscious. They are willing to get closer to boys and make friends with each other. To outsiders, they just don't lead an honest and clean life! This is my opinion, which can be refuted.
Good looks are capital, and money worshippers make good use of this capital to worship money. Ordinary-looking people can't be real money worshippers …
2, high emotional intelligence, will be considerate.
Everyone wants to make friends with considerate people, just like He Laoshi is very popular. Every birthday, so many people send blessings. Everyone likes his thoughtfulness and concern. After all, there are not many people like him.
Money worshippers will assess the situation and give different consideration to others at different times. They worship money because their family conditions are average and their goal is to live a rich and enjoyable life. Therefore, they are willing to lower their social status, get up early to make nutritious breakfast for their families, wash their husbands' feet, ask their mother-in-law to chat with her, dress up with a big smile every day, and give up their preferences to pursue their own preferences ... How many good girls with good family conditions can do that?
Many people see that money worshippers marry well and live a carefree life as housewives. However, how many people can understand being bossed around by rich people because of the unequal living conditions?
When you get married, you will find that every family has a difficult experience! Life is that there is joy in pain, and there is bitterness in joy.