According to my observation, these divorced people can be divided into two categories:
One is because they are separated at home, stay together for 24 hours, expose each other's shortcomings and problems, and gradually begin to dislike each other and quarrel constantly. In the end, the contradictions between the two sides were irreconcilable and the feelings broke down;
The other is because we can't meet in different places for a long time, and our feelings are difficult to maintain, so we separated.
In fact, from these two situations, it is not difficult to see that although many people broke up and divorced during the epidemic, the epidemic is not the root cause of the couple's breakup and divorce. It is just a magnifying glass of feelings, which magnifies the problems existing in each other's feelings, and these problems are the root causes of the couple's breakup and divorce; The epidemic only accelerated the emergence of mutual emotional problems, and then advanced the process of separation between two people, leading to an increase in the number of breakups and divorces during the epidemic.
In the final analysis, the reason why two people break up or divorce is that there is something wrong with each other's feelings, and the problems that will lead to the breakdown of two people's feelings can be mainly divided into the following two categories:
One is the problem of getting along.
Generally speaking, a relationship will break down, largely because they fall into the wrong mode of getting along, such as giving-enjoying mode and controlling-avoiding mode, which is also the most common wrong mode of getting along.
The mode of giving-enjoying is that only one of two people is giving, and the other person is enjoying each other's kindness without giving feedback; The consequences of getting along like this are often: the giving party becomes tired because there is no feedback, gradually becomes disappointed with the other half, and then makes up his mind to end this relationship after a certain explosion point.
The mode of control-escape is that one party is too egoistic emotionally, only cares about his own feelings, and always asks the other half to satisfy and obey himself in a controlled way; However, this kind of control behavior often makes the other party feel pain, or arouses the other party's rebellious psychology, so the other party begins to escape this kind of control, so there is a mode of chasing and running. Over time, driven by two different feelings, the relationship will break down.
The other is the communication mode.
If a relationship can be opened, there must be love between them, but this love needs communication to maintain. If you can't communicate effectively with each other, love will be consumed a little and feelings will get worse.
For example, some people are very insecure and hope that the other half can take care of themselves and care about themselves, but because she can't express this demand, she begins to attract the attention of the other side by making noise. But this way will not let the other half know her needs, but will keep pushing each other away, and eventually they can't go on.
It can be said that if you can't master the correct way of communication, you can't accurately let the other half know your thoughts and needs, contradictions and conflicts will gradually arise, and feelings will get worse and worse in this negative communication, and finally let the other half leave.
For many people, if the above two emotional problems can be solved, their feelings may be reconciled and happiness will be regained; But unfortunately, many people can't see their own emotional problems, and they will only blame the epidemic and vent their grievances. This kind of behavior is actually an escape, which is very undesirable.
In the final analysis, emotional problems need to be solved from within. You need to sort out, find and examine the problems objectively, find out the solutions to the problems, and then solve them with your partner.
May you cherish the people you love, learn to love, give love and reap love.