When Xiaoqing and Chunhui got married, they bought a bed, a table and a cupboard with only 1000 yuan, rented a small house in a village in the city, and started a poor and sweet marriage life.

Chunhui didn't have a regular job at that time. She walked around repairing household appliances, recycled some old TVs by the way, and then came back to clean up and resell them. Xiaoqing is at home, waiting to receive the notice from the unit, while reading and doing housework. In summer, Chunhui comes home at night, always holding a big watermelon excitedly and wiping his head with sweat. When they are happy, you feed me and I feed you, which is sweet and warm. In winter, Xiaoqing always prepares hot meals, looking forward to the spring when he comes home late, so that he can have hot meals and the warmth of his lover when he comes home cold. Although they don't earn much money, sometimes they don't even know where the next meal is after eating the last meal, but because of love, they turn their poor days into a poem. There is no quarrel, no contradiction, only a vision for the future. In the autumn night, the sky is deep and far away. They look at the starry sky and plan when they will have their own nest in the city, even if it is three huts. At this time, they are still ignorant boys and girls and newborn calves. They are ignorant, fearless and romantic. Who knows the hardships of life and how difficult it is to play symphonies with pots and pans?

Years are like songs, and years are more like rivers. After the passion, many beautiful past events are washed away, and many times there are no ripples, so they flow quietly.

Later, I bought a house and had children. Chunhui also ended her nomadic life and went to work in a company.

With the unit, there will be colleagues, and with colleagues, there will be human relations. Gradually, Chunhui came home later and later, and many times she was sent back with a smell of alcohol.

The child grew up slowly and was sent to kindergarten. After school, Xiaoqing took the child to Chunhui's company, hoping to take him home together. He is always busy. Xiaoqing plays around with her children, waiting for him. Once, twice, three times, January, February and March, finally Chunhui finally lost patience and fired anonymously at Xiaoqing. Since then, Xiaoqing has never been to his company.

Chunhui goes home later and later, and seldom calls. Xiaoqing inexplicable flustered. Finally, one day, while packing, Xiaoqing saw a piece of paper in the corner of the table. It was written by Chunhui. It looks like a draft because it has been revised many times. It is more like a gentle poem than a draft message, full of care, just like treating yourself at the beginning. This is addressed to one of his female colleagues, Xiao Tong, who just graduated.

Xiaoqing was silent and didn't mention it again. She put it in the deepest part of her heart and digested it silently. Later, Xiaotong left and went to find a boyfriend to drift north together. In those days, Chunhui lost her soul, more like a headless fly lost its foothold. Xiaoqing heard him call many times and begged her to come back, saying that the company leaders could not bear to let her go and let her come back. Xiaoqing became more silent, but the pain in her heart was slowly expanding.

Chunhui began to get drunk and drank too much. Sometimes I don't go home at night, no phone calls, no text messages. At first, no matter how late, Xiaoqing would always wait for him to come back and sleep together. Slowly, she lost patience. On one occasion, he didn't come home at two o'clock in the morning, and Xiaoqing couldn't help worrying, so he ran half a city to find him in the middle of the night. She was worried that he would get drunk and lie on the street, and somehow he would freeze. Finally, she stood stupefied in the street. The winter wind is very sharp, scraping her face like a knife, and she can't feel the pain. When she got home, she called her colleagues and leaders like crazy, but they were all like stones, and no one answered her phone. She held the phone, her heart twisted into a ball, curled up in the corner of the bed and dialed his phone over and over again, which was a reminder to turn it off. She never gave up and called the leader again and again. The harsh bell finally woke the leader from his sleep. The leader told her not to wait for him. Tonight, he stayed at the hotel with his client and refused to go home, asking her to sleep peacefully.

She slept soundly, and she didn't worry about him that night. From that night on, she slept well. She wouldn't wait for him to come back, and she wouldn't leave any lights for him, no matter how late it was, even if he didn't come home at night.

Slowly, the two of them are like strangers, getting farther and farther, and there is no communication between hearts.

Day after day, year after year, she walked alone. It is she and her children who go out to travel; It is she and her children who go out shopping; It is she and the children who go to the park; Sleep, she sleeps on the bed and he sleeps on the sofa. Her life seems to be without him.

The child is growing up.

One day, the child suddenly said: other people's homes are all parents playing with their children. Why is only my mother taking me to play?

She was silent. I failed the child's clear eyes.

A brisk walk was organized in the unit. From then on, Xiaoqing fell in love with sports. In the evening, I went to the nearby park to do aerobics, and gradually learned square dance.

Xiaoqing is an old friend in the past. She and her husband go to the park hand in hand every night. After going to the park, my husband went to see an open-air movie and acquaintances danced ballroom dancing. That night, Xiaoqing met her and she began to teach Xiaoqing ballroom dancing.

Xiaoqing is out of control. She fell in love with dancing and had a fixed partner. The dancing partner is a retired young man. He doesn't talk much and is a dance fan. Because his partner was ill in hospital, he found Xiaoqing alone when wandering around without a partner, so they became partners. Go dancing at a fixed time every night, pure dancing, almost no communication and communication. In fact, Xiaoqing is in love with dance music. Those faint sad music is a portrayal of Xiaoqing's heart. She was immersed in grief and couldn't extricate herself. Her world is too lonely.

Occasionally Chunhui passed by the park, attracted by the dance music inside, and couldn't help but go to the outdoor dance floor, so she saw Xiaoqing dancing with men. He was so jealous that he felt that his precious things had been robbed. He got as drunk as a fiddler, came home, smashed the house to pieces, and called Xiaoqing's parents and sister in the middle of the night to complain about how Xiaoqing danced with men in public. Xiaoqing was heartbroken, so she ran away from home and walked back and forth in the street on a winter night. She wants to know why two people who love each other walk away. Why does walking become a stranger or even an enemy? She doesn't know how to go in the future. In fact, she thought about countless divorces, children and her original happiness. She can't bear to break up a beautiful family like this.

She walked from night to dawn, measuring the quiet and empty streets countless times. Chunhui also made countless phone calls, all of which were pressed by her. Before she figured it out, she didn't know how to face all these heartbreaking situations. Although she was shivering with cold, she still didn't want to go back to that sad home.

Parents call one after another, sister calls one after another, and brother-in-law calls one after another. Finally, Xiaoqing went home.

At home, my sister and brother-in-law are all there. Xiaoqing showdown: divorce! She doesn't want to stay in this house like an ice house. She has to leave! There is no room for discussion!

So, my sister and brother-in-law took turns doing Xiaoqing's work. After a day of stalemate, Xiaoqing did not give in. Her heart is as firm as eating the weight.

Night arrival, brightly lit. My sister looked at my sister silently. Suddenly, Chunhui came to Xiaoqing's side. She knelt on her knees and cried with her legs in her arms, begging for his forgiveness. Say that you have been left out for many years, you should bear all the burdens yourself, and pray for another chance to love her. Under the light, she saw his half-white hair, wrinkles around his eyes, and his face that was no longer young and full of vicissitudes. Tears swirled in her eyes. She seemed to see the young man rushing home with a big round watermelon in his arms, sweating profusely, and seemed to see him feeding himself watermelon spoonfuls by spoonfuls. Her tears flowed down unwillingly like a stream.

In this way, she forgave him, his white hair and his wrinkles stung her eyes and her heart! She still can't bear to forget that simple and happy life, as if that time had been deeply engraved into her soul and her bones!

But will the wound in my heart heal?

There is a kind of injury called no trace. It is deeply buried in a corner of my heart and can't be touched.

After several years of ordinary life, he also restrained a lot. But only two people know in their hearts that they can never get back to their former intimacy, and there are only alienation and politeness.

This classmate's child went to college this year and invited Xiaoqing and his wife to attend the school banquet. Seeing the night arrival, Chunhui still didn't come back. Xiaoqing called to ask where he was and when he would come back. Chunhui came back to take a shower and change clothes. Xiaoqing asked how to get there. Chunhui said it's not very far, and we'll walk. Xiaoqing said it was getting late, and she walked slowly, so she left first, followed by Chunhui.

On the way, the phone rang. It was Chunhui who asked Xiaoqing where she had gone. Xiaoqing said she was halfway. Where are you? I will wait for you. Chunhui said he was at the gate of the hotel. How did you get here so soon? He said he was afraid of being late, so he went to the hotel by tram. Xiaoqing suddenly collapsed, and the wound in her heart burst open instantly, dripping with blood: Chunhui, how could you do this? I waited for you until it was dark, and you rode away alone. Why don't you take me? Where are you going to put me? Xiaoqing roared in the street like crazy, ignoring the eyes of pedestrians, as if she would die if she didn't vent.

Xiaoqing is fed up with being alone. She likes two people talking and laughing and walking together. Over the years, she tried to mend the cracks, but he finally let her down. Her heart hurts for no reason, and there is nothing she can do. She doesn't know how much longer she can hold on. She doesn't know when she is hysterical or crazy.