Whether to have children or not is an important life choice for everyone, which is not only the responsibility for the new life in the future, but also the interpretation of the meaning of everyone's life.
With the participation of children, I have a new role.
I worked in the army until the baby was born. At that time, the pace of work was fast, life was tense, training was regular, and daily life was full. Being apart from my lover sometimes makes me feel empty when I sleep at night, and I feel depressed when I see that other comrades have started to hold babies at my age.
Maybe it's a blessing from God. Fortunately, I had my first baby in my thirties, and the arrival of the baby was like a big circle supporting me who was often discouraged. The child was sent by heaven to help me fulfill my father's role, and it also made me realize that I am not only responsible for myself, but also for this little life. In the year when the child was born, I made a decision with no regrets, and went back to my mother and daughter to take care of them and participate in the child's life growth. The hardest thing in the process of raising the baby is the baby's mother. All I can remember is the baby's first smile, the first cry of mom and dad, the first deciduous tooth, the first step ... to go to kindergarten and become a primary school student ... and I have the honor to participate in every process of the child, every ups and downs.
As the children grow up, I see myself clearly.
A life is growing and has its own growth power. The arrival of children has made me see myself, what I really want and what I love more deeply. As Hu Shi's writer said: Son, you are free and I love you, but I will never control your life in the name of love.
I remember a case in which a China couple took their 6-year-old son to LA for a holiday. After the plane took off, the child kept harassing China's brother next door, not only jumping up and down, making noise, but also touching his hands.
After several rounds of human flesh bombing, the little brother couldn't bear it. He politely asked his father to take care of the children, but he was ignored by his father. The little brother finally couldn't bear it, swearing at the bear and his son. Unexpectedly, the father grabbed his little brother's neck angrily and wrestled with him through the middle son until the flight attendant who came in a hurry separated them. As a result, as soon as the plane landed, both sides of the conflict were taken away by heavily armed police on the grounds of "endangering the life safety of the whole plane", and the boy family was repatriated on the grounds of "intentional injury". A farce caused by Xiong Haizi ended in such an embarrassing ending.
This kind of love for children is absolutely impossible, because it is harmful to children to create comfortable living conditions and indulge unconditionally. To love children is not to regard her as our "achievement" or "face", but to guide her with the correct three views, so that I have the opportunity to stay with my children in a beautiful world for a while. ...
Having children, I learned to practice.
Some people say that God hastily assigned lovely angels to every soul. The arrival of the little angel soothed the hurried footsteps and gave the hurried travelers a moment to reflect.
Yes, sometimes I think, what is the purpose of having children? For the sake of my ancestors, I am afraid that others will say that I am incompetent. This year, after Bauer was born, I want to witness the growth and continuation of a life more. Sometimes when I am not satisfied with the present situation of Dabao, it can help me to see myself clearly, reflect on myself, learn to practice and change myself. On the way to practice, Dabao and I have the deepest experience. As a novice father, he realized life in raising children and struggled in the tangled parent-child relationship, so he kept looking for answers in the book.
This year, Dabao is eight years old. In retrospect, I think the beauty of this road is unforgettable and flawed, but only by constantly enriching and perfecting my inner wisdom and strength can I naturally influence my children and move towards a life path that is more suitable for them.