From 20 12 to the end of 20 15, my husband and I lived a life of separation.
Maybe other couples are separated from each other, just across provinces or cities. And we are separated, but it is transnational!
I was in China and he was in Dubai. You can go back to China for 20 days every three months.
And we, being married, were originally reluctant to leave, but because of our livelihood, in order to earn more money and get more subsidies, we chose him to go abroad. I left Beijing and went to Nanning.
To tell the truth, the life of separation between husband and wife is really not easy. However, it is not particularly sad.
When I first arrived in Nanning, I was a stranger. I had no friends and family, and he was not with me. My heart is really full of negative energy.
Later, I felt that if this goes on, not only the marriage of two people will be finished, but also their mental health and physical health will be finished. No, I have to find the best way to live a life of separation between husband and wife.
After that, I go to work during the day and get off work at night, so I invite my young sisters to go shopping or take a walk together.
First of all, I was in Nanning, and the unit gave me an independent two-bedroom apartment. And I live alone in it, feeling very empty. After a brief observation, I saw a little girl who just graduated from the office standing in front of me and was very popular with me, so I asked around. She lives in a small dormitory with some little nurses. I asked her first, "Would you like to live with me if possible?" The house where I live happens to have a vacant room. "She immediately said," yes, of course! "
Then, I went to the logistics and talked with the logistics. The logistics said, "As long as you don't mind, of course I don't mind!" "
In this way, I handled the problem of living alone perfectly.
The little girl and I both like reading very much. She is from Guangxi. She goes to college in Nanning. After graduation, she stayed in Nanning. Therefore, she is particularly familiar with Nanning. Take me to Nanning Library to get a library card. When we don't go out for shopping or walking, we stay at home and watch TV and read books.
For a while, I also agreed to let her write book reviews to see who wrote them well.
In this way, days passed quickly and time passed day by day. I'm not anxious about the separation of husband and wife.
So, I think, since I have chosen the life of husband and wife separation, then I will accept the reality, adjust my mentality, and strive to enrich my life, which is the most reliable!
The separation of husband and wife depends on the situation. If the feelings are not harmonious and separated, it is better to leave each other as soon as possible, make your own plans, handle some problems such as property division, child support, creditor's rights and debts, and let them face a new life happily.
But if it is because of work, the husband and wife in the two places are separated, and the wife has to look after the house at home, raise children, and some have to take care of their elderly parents. Whether it is the ideological burden or the labor burden, the pressure is definitely great. How to press the trapped scene?
First, strengthen your faith. Believe in yourself, you will be able to support this family, and the pressure will naturally be less.
Second, arrange the three reasonably, handle family affairs, and be orderly, so as not to feel that the river is full of beaches.
Third, bear hardships and stand hard work, don't be playful, don't spend too much energy playing cards and dancing, or casually associate with other men. The husband can rest assured that he has no guilt.
Fourth, after work, take the children out for a walk and relax on Sunday.
5. The husband of the camera won't do anything wrong to you.
The intransitive verbs are careful in calculation, reasonable in expenditure, frugal in housekeeping, and loose in economic division of labor.
Seven, and her husband information flow, keep close contact, mutual suspicion.
Eight, do a good job in normal relations with neighbors and take care of each other when there are difficulties.
If you can do the above, as a wife, there should be little pressure at home, just wait for your husband to put the money on your card.
So how do we usually decompress? Everyone must have some curiosity! We talk for more than half an hour almost every night 10, no matter how tired that day is! Never forget! A night or two, as long as you have time! Even a simple greeting and concern! Everyone feels extremely warm!
Some netizens will definitely think, how can there be so many chats! I can't finish talking every day! He's finished talking to his wife! However, my wife and I just can't finish talking every day! Talking about everything is interesting! Maybe I have a little humor! I like to tease my wife! Emotion is to communicate more and communicate more! Communicate with your heart, not perfunctory words! In fact, if you are careful, as long as the other party is not stupid! You can hear it when you listen! As long as communication is good, the depression in women's hearts will be released! I'm afraid men will ignore her! Originally separated from two places, there is nowhere to release the depression in my heart! Women will think that you don't love her as much as before! Marriage has existed in name only, and it has become numb! At this time, if a third party comes in, it is easy to derail. This is also a major reason why many people divorce now.
It doesn't matter what you say, what matters is what you say! Chatting is not intentional, just for the sake of chatting! Talk casually! Originally, two people chatting together, in the eyes of outsiders, is a pile of nonsense.
Solve psychological depression, followed by physical needs! I'm not too far from her! She often says that she misses me! I know what she means! We meet once a month, but it's not enough! Young people have desires! So I still want to end this separated life as soon as possible.
Mine is solved like this! Netizens! How did you solve it?
I think the decompression mentioned in this topic is aimed at the personal pressure brought by the separation of husband and wife to women. The pressure in this respect includes emotional demand pressure and physiological demand pressure.
Emotional repression
This kind of emotional depression is mainly due to the separation of husband and wife, and women's emotional needs for their husbands are frustrated, but there is no way to release them. Without guidance, they will turn into an inward negative pressure. This kind of mental negative pressure is bad for people's mood and makes people become negative and anxious.
To solve this kind of emotional depression, we can first keep in touch with text, voice and video through advanced communication tools to alleviate emotional depression. Unfortunately, this kind of communication through the media can only solve some emotional needs.
Various practical problems brought about by the separation between the two places, such as busy housework, inability to educate children, and difficulties in maintaining social relations, will all cause the husband's emotional needs to be unsatisfied. These problems that should have been solved by the husband are now faced by one person. This undoubtedly increases emotional depression.
In the long run, there will be bad consequences. Due to the long-term separation between the two places, all aspects of life are faced independently, and the dependence on each other in life is getting smaller and smaller, which will make the need for emotional connection between each other less urgent. The contact between the two sides is gradually sparse. They used to contact each other every day, but now they may contact each other only once a week. The attachment between the husband and wife is extremely harmful.
Emotional depression can be alleviated by the following points:
Sexual inhibition
It goes without saying that separation between two places will bring physical sexual depression. The so-called "sexual repression" means that people's normal physiological needs are not met, which has certain negative consequences in physiology and psychology. Freud said, "When libido is excessively inhibited, it may lead to neurosis or X dysfunction." ("libido" can be simply understood as "sexual substance" or "sexual strength" in the body) You can relieve stress through the following points.
Most husband and wife separation is a helpless choice, either for survival, economic needs, or children's schooling problems and so on. In order to achieve these problems, it is hard for me to say whether it is worth it at the expense of the emotional stability of husband and wife. But we must aim at ending the long-distance relationship as soon as possible, otherwise, when the relationship between husband and wife breaks down completely, the previous one will lose its meaning.
In a word, women are under both physical and psychological pressure in couples who live apart from each other. How to decompress women is a problem to be faced when the state of the two places cannot be ended for the time being. I hope this answer can help these women. (End)
It is certain that a normal woman will feel uncomfortable and lonely without a man around. If the husband and wife are separated for a long time, the woman is likely to be taken away by others, male colleagues around her, handsome men I know at work, or mature men with money. If those people fall in love with her, she will fall in love easily. When a woman has no man, the best way to relieve stress is to find a man. Physiologically, a woman is really like a flower. If she doesn't water and fertilize regularly, even the most beautiful flowers will wither. Fortunately, a woman is not a plant. If a plant is ignored, it will die. If a woman ignores her, she still has others to care about, and she can take the initiative to find others to care about. From a psychological point of view, a woman is like a book. Understand, you can regain her value. If you don't understand that her value is understood by others, then she becomes someone else's.
Many times, due to economic pressure, many couples have to live separately and men go out to work hard. At this time, women should also manage their own lives, trust each other, learn to be independent and enrich themselves.
1. Pay attention to yourself, stay independent and grow.
Everyone is a different individual, especially women. They should learn to be independent, to be alone, and to enjoy loneliness properly. When husband and wife don't live together, women should learn to be independent, pay more attention to themselves, enrich their lives, and use their spare time to enrich their lives, such as learning painting, practicing yoga, fitness and so on. And keep growing, do what you like and keep yourself busy. This is also a good way to relax.
2. Go out to participate in activities and make friends.
As social animals, people need friends, especially when husband and wife are separated, women's hearts need to find support more. Go out to participate in activities and meet more friends, so that women are no longer lonely, otherwise, in such a big city, they will not even have the motivation to go shopping and eat alone. Knowing more like-minded friends can also give women someone to talk to when they are sad, find someone to talk to and release pressure.
3. Communicate with her husband at ordinary times and visit each other on holidays.
When life makes us have to live separately, we must give each other more trust and understanding, and create some little fun in our usual communication, even in different places. For example, meet and read the same book, watch the same movie at the same time, share and exchange each other's feelings after the completion, and enhance the feelings of both sides. When there are continuous holidays, you can choose to visit your husband's city to relieve the pain of missing him.
Life is not easy for everyone. In the face of the separation between the two places, women should handle the relationship wisely and calmly, don't complain too much, accept this state, learn to be independent, spend time thinking about the relationship between the two, and make life better.
My wife and I are like this, except that my wife is at home and I work outside.
My wife takes care of the children at home, and my mother usually helps to pick them up, so I found a relatively leisure job, leaving early and returning late, leaving work at 5 pm and 7 pm.
Her parents are here, so she hardly cooks at home, but my mother's side and her mother's side switch to eat.
Sometimes after work early, she and her sister take the children to the park to play, and sometimes go to the store opened by her best friend to help.
We call every day. In fact, we have been married for 8 years and talk about trivial things every day. However, we are both used to it. I don't call every day and listen to the other person's voice. I always feel that I have the same shortcomings today.
When we encounter anything at work, the first thing we think of to talk to is the other person. For example, I accidentally had a safety accident some time ago, and the economic loss was almost hundreds of thousands. I called my daughter-in-law in the middle of the night, and my daughter-in-law comforted me and said that as long as I was fine, it didn't matter even if I was fired. I calmed down when I heard her talk.
Although far apart, my wife and I still pay special attention to communication. Although 90% of our communication is nonsense, it is a big problem if we both talk to each other for something, but seemingly useless nonsense can cultivate our feelings.
My husband and I spent seven years in different places, fell in love for three years and got married for four years. Seven years have passed, but in retrospect, it is quite interesting. This kind of life in a different place does not dilute our feelings, but makes us cherish it more. We finally live together this year. Although reunion needs running-in, I feel that life is still very sweet every day.
Of course, after marriage, everyone wants to live together and take care of each other. Most couples should do this, but it often backfires. Due to various factors, they live in different places, which often leads to emotional problems, but we should know how to solve loneliness and stress.
When people are not busy, they will become empty. If they think too much, loneliness will naturally come. We can keep ourselves busy every day, concentrate on doing our own thing and do our work well. Every couple doesn't want to be intimate, but if you think that everyone is suffering for a better life in the future, you will have more motivation and belief to move forward.
In fact, there is an advantage in different places, that is, you and I both have some relatively free time, and we can do many things we are interested in in in life without being bound by each other. Reading books, watching movies, traveling with girlfriends and so on, life is full and full of fun.
You know, some feelings will be lost if you don't keep in touch often. Being busy is not the reason why you can't keep in touch. Especially in different places, my husband and I agreed that no matter how busy we are every day, we should take time out for WeChat video or telephone chat in the evening to share some fun in work or life with each other, and then say good night to each other. Although people are in a different place, at that moment, you will feel that the person you love is by your side, always caring about you, and very happy.
The most important thing is to make an appointment to meet every once in a while. Many couples in different places can't hold on because they can't meet for a long time, and finally their feelings are weak. You know, no matter how many videos or phone calls there are, they can never replace a warm hug.
The above is my little experience along the way.
Husband and wife live apart, and some men often complain to their wives, telling their own difficulties and loneliness, as if all the grievances were borne by him alone. Yes, in fact, he will never understand the bitterness and helplessness of a woman in his heart. In fact, the separation between the two places is nothing more than living. In order to survive, he just wants to create a stable living and economic condition for their world. This is why he has the distress of separation between husband and wife, and the pain and trouble caused by separation between the two places. For couples, who doesn't like working day and night? Take Mei Qi for example, and * * * are interdependent. But the conditions are not allowed, but here is the problem. What can we do? In fact, for couples who live in different places, they can be together, but their living conditions will be greatly reduced and their quality of life will not be better than before, so two people just surrender in real life, in order to live a good life with * * *, so they will endure the pain that couples cannot reunite. So I said that as a man, I am always willing to show the pain of separation between husband and wife, and I am always willing to complain about the inconvenience caused by separation between the two places. Actually, it's hard for a woman to talk. As a woman, her husband is not waiting around. Sometimes she is like a two-faced person, facing the bitterness of others, she can only bury it in her heart and leave a bright smile. No one can see the emptiness in her heart and yearn for her husband's company and support. But without a husband, she has to deal with all the problems like a man. Often women suffer more grievances and hardships than men, but women generally choose to suffer in their hearts and not express them. So this kind of pain is the most and the most unbearable. I don't think a woman who lives in two places should bury herself too deeply. They should tell their husbands about their difficulties and ask them to help them analyze and understand their difficulties and learn to give up. If they can or can't do it now, then simply give up and wait for their husbands. This is also a way to release your emotions. Besides, chatting with my husband and watching videos every day are also good ways to relieve stress. In short, don't be a strong woman, be a person who tells her husband about her grievances. As a woman, don't be too strong, be a gentle woman, so as to win her husband's love and care.
The separation of husband and wife is a very annoying thing. Now the world doesn't know how many couples are forced to separate, not because they have no feelings, but because they have to choose to separate for the sake of making more money, family and children. Generally choose separation, men go out and women stay at home, and women have to bear more responsibilities and pay more hard work. Our husband and wife have been separated for almost 10 years, and our feelings have developed and sublimated in the past ten years. The separation of husband and wife is very painful for women. Women have to carry all the things at home, big and small. They should educate their children, take care of the elderly and learn to handle everything at home. Women must learn to be strong and do everything at home. Women must learn to do what men used to do, such as lifting bottled water, lifting liquefied gas tanks, checking wires, changing light bulbs, changing fuses, and checking simple electrical failures. In the past, the husband's responsibility, the wife should also learn to shoulder, the husband's relatives and friends get married, funeral, the wife also have to handle for her husband, so that her husband has no worries, do a good job of family backing. Every day is like charging, and there is no time to think about these troubles. On one occasion, the child was sick and had a fever and had no experience. He was so anxious that he cried. He just walked 5 kilometers with his child in his arms to the county hospital of traditional Chinese medicine and asked the doctor to take medicine before he was relieved. The people upstairs in my house, with their husbands out and their wives at home, took physical measures to reduce the fever of their children, but delayed their illness and made them a fool. I can't talk at the age of five, and now I'm almost 20. I just eat and do nothing, which makes my parents regret for life. My own experience is that my schedule is full and I have no leisure to think about these things. I only think of my husband when I sleep at night. If my husband comforts me a few words, I will be satisfied. Women who are separated from each other are left-behind women. They have many kinds of troubles and helplessness. As long as they love their families, their husbands and their children, everything can be overcome.