From running to losing weight to walking into the gym, turn into a fitness white.
In the third year of high school, I reached a weight peak in my life, and my loose school uniform covered my body without lines. Those hard days are simple and beautiful. Except that grades seem to be the ultimate goal, the rest seem to be less important.
However, college and senior three are completely different worlds, with fewer classes and more free time. Our social interaction is also varied, and we begin to envy those elegant and beautiful school sisters. And what about myself as a freshman? Just one? Facing the road ...
At first, I was always full of sense of ceremony and expectation, hoping that I could change. It's like vowing to be a good person at the beginning of each semester. Girls hope that they can be successfully promoted from a fertile source to a goddess, and male diaosi also expects that they can be promoted to a male god and reach the peak of their lives.
Me too.
Under the prevailing wind of makeup magic and slimming plastic surgery knives, is it diaosi or a boy goddess? It's execution!
So I embarked on a long road to lose weight.
When I started running in my freshman year, it was amazing to recall my perseverance. I ran from a chubby little girl to a marathon, and now I have five or six marathon medals in my drawer. Until I found that no matter how I run, I will never lose my balance, and marathon medals are no longer attractive to me. I found strength training, a legendary training method that can make me break through the aerobic platform period.
For the school gym, the beginning of each semester is the best time to sell cards and attend classes to improve their grades. At this time, I also walked into the gym.
At that time, girls went to the gym for pilates and yoga classes. And I have become an alternative in the equipment area-the only girl who lifts iron. I heard that training will do harm to my health, so I bought a private education without hesitation. That's a lot of money. You must practice hard now.
The initial stage of fitness is the easiest to produce results. In a month or two, you can see the so-called "traces of movement", looming muscle lines. When I first entered the gym, a lot of information emerged. Wechat official account and fitness instructor made me seem to open the door to a new world. Slowly aesthetic ideas and the pursuit of subtle changes. I no longer just aim at reducing fat, and I don't think the two chopsticks legs in Japan and South Korea are beautiful. ? I dug a big hole silently-I'm going to start practicing my muscles!
I haven't been to the gym for half a year, and my figure has changed a lot. Slowly, my hips have begun to tilt, and I have so-called "training marks" on my body. The height of 172 changed me from "tall and strong" to "tall". At this time, many people around me have been surprised by my changes, and some people have begun to ask me about losing weight or fitness. This made me taste the sweetness of fitness, and even a little smug.
There is no end to the pursuit, especially fitness.
I am no longer satisfied with this moment, but those muscle blocks that used to look very different to me have become beautiful, and I began to yearn for bodybuilding. Even parents and friends will joke that you can't get married like that. But I regard fitness as a challenge and self-discipline in my life.
Fitness circle is not a popular saying-practice three points and eat seven points, so I train and eat together. Even if the school conditions are limited, I will try my best to make my food conform to the fitness meal. I will try to eat fish, protein and chicken every day to increase protein's intake, and I will eat nuts to supplement high-quality fat. In order to eat enough cellulose and reduce salt intake, I will also rinse the vegetables with water before eating. Snacks? Juice coke? It doesn't exist.
I use the APP to set goals, and I will set my diet goals for the next day before going to bed. I also recorded the dietary differences between training day and rest day, and the dietary differences before and after training. This is almost abnormal to my friends. Although it consumes a lot of energy, I enjoy it because I think it is a self-controlled life.
Speaking of the effect, with the cooperation of diet, especially during the period of fat reduction, the body changes obviously, and the speed of fat reduction is also under control, neither fast nor slow. At that time, I felt that reducing fat was really a very simple thing. As long as you control your diet, it will be OK, and time will naturally give you the answer.
At the end of that fat-reducing period, muscle lines also appeared, which can be said to be the peak of my life. Of course, I didn't know that this peak was the beginning of my decline, but it took me a long time to realize it.
Self-control is like a rubber band. Everything goes against you. If you push too hard, it will break one day.
Compared with before, life after fitness has changed dramatically. It is this upheaval that directly led to a series of out-of-control and collapse.
It is naturally good to keep a self-disciplined life, but there are always days when you are lazy and don't want to go to the gym. I always feel guilty these days. At this time, I always find something to comfort myself. Like most people, I choose good food. Indeed, science shows that foods with high carbon, high moisture and high fat will bring happiness to people, and those snacks and big meals that I couldn't eat when I was bound in the past made me satisfied. But after a short period of satisfaction, I feel guilty about not exercising and eating a lot, and then I need more food to comfort myself.
Sometimes I eat too much and suddenly I get fat. Then I will go to the gym to do a lot of training to restore weighing scale's numbers, and then I will wait until the next time my "rubber band" breaks, continue to eat a lot and lose weight. It seems to have entered a circular process.
I just ate a lot at first, and then I was particularly eager for carbohydrates. Even rice and bread are especially delicious. Every time I go home or have a lonely and comfortable moment, I always have a stomachache. Later, I could even spit out the food I had just eaten without any effort. Until the body hormone disorder, do not feel hunger and satiety, abnormal menstruation.
This vicious cycle lasted for a year, and it got out of hand. I finally realized that I really had a problem.
Yes, I have bulimia nervosa.
I once pursued a healthy lifestyle, but it made me no longer healthy. So what am I pursuing?
It's like riding a roller coaster once every two years and falling into a trough. Physically and psychologically, I am sick, but I despise what I used to be proud of. I paid attention to some cases of bulimia, and found that everyone was ashamed to say their bulimia, and even refused to admit that they had bulimia, so I drew a prison and could never open the inner shackles.
I was desperate at first. Am I going to let this bulimia trap me for life? Do I have to struggle in the cycle of overeating and losing weight all my life Don't! Never!
I stay rational and solve the immediate problem first. I went to the hospital to check the hormone level and cooperated with the doctor's treatment suggestion. After five months, my hormones gradually returned to normal.
Instead of seeing a psychiatrist, I chose to teach myself psychological knowledge. I still believe that my great strength can defeat the devil inside me. I also believe that my family and friends can give me enough help.
I spent two years learning fitness knowledge to keep fit, which broke my body, and another year learning psychology knowledge, and finally learned to let myself go.
After three years of use, my weight just returned to before I lost weight. So what did I get after three years of time and energy?
I think I finally accepted my looks, whether thin or fat.
I think, maybe I finally let go of myself and regard fitness as a hobby, not a means to achieve a good figure, whether it is practice or rest.
Even though those days and nights make me constantly question myself, I still want to thank all of them.