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Text | Qin (parent intensive reading columnist)

Happiness is what we have been pursuing all our lives.

Jiang Yang once said: In this materialistic world, it is really difficult to be a human being.

There is no word "easy" in the world of adults, and everyone has their own difficulties.

For women, the road to happiness is more bumpy and full of thorns.

Although happiness is not the normal state in the world, we have the right to pursue happiness.

In the pursuit, we gradually find the road to happiness: forget the past, lower our expectations and keep our courage.

A friend was betrayed by her husband.

She and her husband are college classmates and have been in love for eight years. They are the envy of the golden couple. After three years of marriage, her husband found another lover. She was the last one to know. She kept crying and tossing. After she was exhausted, she divorced.

Divorced, she should let go of the past and move on to a new life, but she seems to be still living in that broken-hearted old marriage, reluctant to quit, always thinking about how good she is in front of her husband.

When I was in college, I stood in the cold wind for a whole month every night before I expected a date. How did two people go from love to marriage? In the middle, he went abroad for a year, and how many gifts did he bring her every time he came back? ...

They once lived in two places, went through hardships and finally returned to the same city, and bought a house to take root. I thought they would live a happy life like the prince and princess in fairy tales.

But I never thought that such deep feelings could be easily replaced by another woman.

How deep love is, how painful it is. A friend can never accept the reality of losing him.

She has been reminiscing, trying to prove how much her ex-husband loves her.

However, no matter how sorry you are, the other party will not look back. Verbal condemnation, monetary compensation and moral commanding heights can't solve the psychological loss.

No one can predict the fate of life. Some people are destined to go ashore halfway and go alone.

For those who voluntarily give up on us, it is really unnecessary to recall how much they love each other.

If a past will only make our hearts suffer great pain, the best way is to forget it.

If you dwell on the difficulties of the past, you can't recover from the pain of the past, you will only hurt and bind yourself.

If you want to heal the wound as soon as possible, you must forget his goodness as soon as possible, erase the breath about him in your life, learn to forget it slowly, and remove this person from your heart a little.

We believe that the world is conservative and our lost love will always be compensated in another form.

When feelings pass away, we don't have to dwell on the whirlpool of emotions and recall the injuries we have suffered again and again. The best way to heal a relationship is to start a new one.

It is a kind of wisdom to forget, withdraw from the past, re-believe in love and let the past come.

Barbara Yung created an irreplaceable "beautiful girl".

She used to be a big star in the three places across the Taiwan Strait, but when she was young, her life was fixed at 26 years old, which is a pity.

Fall in love with Don through drama. Don is considerate to her. Not good at cooking, he taught himself to make soup and nourish Meiling. They had a sweet time.

However, after the single-parent family grew up, Meiling, who lacked love in her childhood, was empty inside. She wants too much love and has high expectations for her lover.

She devoted all her emotions and energy to Tang, and when her needs were not answered slightly, she became anxious, confused and irritable.

When filming in Taiwan Province, Tang committed suicide because he couldn't stand the loneliness without his lover. Fortunately, she did not succeed.

In May, 1985, the newspaper reported Tang He's affair, which was actually just a gathering between friends and was magnified by the newspaper.

Barbara Yung saw the fierce reaction to the report, and they quarreled. She cried and shouted "Then let's break up".

Later, I called Tang countless times, but Tang didn't answer. She went home and turned on the gas to kill herself.

Leaving too hastily, too suddenly, even too inconceivable, brought great pain to people and fans around, including Tang Dou.

After being interviewed for many years, he still couldn't get over it: "I really feel inexplicable. It's not serious. There is nothing between them. It's not that I have another woman. She has other men, none. "

Barbara Yung's high expectations for lovers are like blazing fire; As we all know, even jing elder brother in the novel can't bear such feelings, let alone a mortal in reality.

Writer Feng Tang said: Delusion is a wish you can't get rid of, but you must rely on others to realize it.

When we add filters to people around us and set too many expectations for a relationship, we are often disappointed.

Only by lowering expectations can we not feel hurt when facing the gap between reality.

In this world, no one needs to be responsible for another person. In real life, the only person who can save himself is himself.

There is a very good saying: the greatest compassion of adults is to lower expectations of others.

Only by lowering our expectations of others can we live a happy life.

There is a case in psychology:

When a lady is happy, she always tries to destroy it. She always shows her clumsy personality.

Because she subconsciously feels that she "will not be happy." Her parents didn't love her when she was a child. When she grew up, she tried her best to pay for her boyfriend, but it was always herself who got hurt.

After experiencing such psychological setbacks for a long time, she can't believe that happiness will happen to herself, and even dare not accept anyone's pursuit, because she feels "unworthy".

Dare to pursue happiness is a kind of courage. If you believe that you "deserve" better people and things, you will have the determination and confidence to work in this direction.

There is an older unmarried young woman, plain-looking, who doesn't even have a skill. Everyone around laughed at her, waiting to see her jokes.

However, she accepted the reality frankly. After work, she signed up for an English class, exercised regularly and lived better than her peers.

No one expected that she met a gentle man in the gym. After a period of contact, the man began to seriously pursue her.

This man has good financial strength. At first, some people questioned, "How can such a man have a crush on her?" Then gossip, "How does she deserve it?"

But she ignored the eyes and opinions of people around her and accepted the pursuit of men generously. In the end, the two tied the knot.

At the wedding, ordinary and ordinary, she stood beside the tall and handsome groom, with a shy look of a little woman and her eyes shining with wisdom and innocence.

Every stage of life will encounter some setbacks or doubts, which are not terrible. The terrible thing is to lose the courage to continue to pursue happiness.

In real life, when the mind is exhausted, everyone is eager to have a shoulder to help carry all the storms on the road of life and clear the thorns.

However, we must understand that "sweetness will not last long and dreams will not stay". Every girl who pursues her dreams by her own efforts clearly knows that the happiness she bravely pursues is really her own.

We should always be ready to face the dilemma of life, open another possibility of life, and try to explore a better way of life in it.

A smart woman should have the courage and confidence to try love at any moment in her life.

True maturity is not going to the world, but reaching innocence; It has gone through many vicissitudes, but there is still light in my eyes.