Scene description composition 1 teacher: I won't invite anyone to share this time, because you are writers! Forget it, put the composition aside first. Let's read the passage "Father and son in the earthquake" and see what else you can find. This time, all the places marked in order are marked in red, which are adapted for the teaching needs of teachers. )
Student: These places are not in our textbooks.
Teacher: Then why did the teacher add these contents?
Health: It just makes us feel that we should pay attention to the order in scene description.
Teacher: Hit the nail on the head! Do you know what to do?
Health: Yes, five minutes. Modify and write the order.
Teacher: Wrong! 3 minutes, modify and write the order. (Laugh, start reviewing, and the teacher will patrol and guide)
Scene description composition 2 teaching content: unit 8 Chinese teaching in the first volume of grade five.
Venue: No.1 Ethnic Middle School, Liping County, Guizhou Province
Instructor: Zhao Fei of Zhongtian Beijing Primary School.
Teaching time:120xx165438+8: 10-8: 50 am on October 22nd.
Participant: Teacher Guo Pei.
The first part: communication before class paves the way for speculation
Teacher: Students, the teacher will spend 40 minutes studying with you today. Let's meet the teacher standing in front of you first. This is what I looked like when I was young.
Health: How handsome! This is a photo of Professor Du, not yours.
Teacher: Then I'll steal the picture! Look at my information!
(The courseware shows several lines: 1. My name is Zhao Fei. I'm 28 years old and I'm from Guiyang. I have been dealing with China people for 20 years. 2. I like children, and children like me. They call me Brother Fei. I am the principal this semester, and I also teach Chinese to a graduating class. I like reading and writing articles. I have read a thousand books and written hundreds of thousands of words. )
Health: Free reading.
Teacher: This is the information given by the teacher. It is true or false. Please guess the truth and give reasons.
Health: Speak freely, guess the truth and give reasons.
Teacher: By guessing true and false, the teacher wants to test everyone's thinking ability and judgment, which is very important for learning. This is what the teacher shared with you before class! Let's officially start the class.
Part II: Feel the freedom of the scene.
Teacher: Now let's formally test your thinking and judgment. Please look at the big screen. There is a picture of a monster in the courseware. Who knows its name?
Health: Nonsense.
Teacher: Keep playing the courseware, Bigfoot. Please read the name of this animal together. The teacher teaches reading. Please continue reading the article about this animal.
Student: Free reading: "I lived in Holland 3 million to1.20 thousand years ago." Often active in swamps. This kind of giant foot is surprisingly large, and the footprint width is usually 2.5 meters, so it is called giant foot. It likes to eat other creatures in the water. Fish and shrimp are its staple food, which can eat 30 kilograms at a meal. So far, humans have not seen its true face, and scientists have not found its fossils. "
Teacher: Let's start the test now. Please look at the title "1". Bigfoot lives in () area. 2. Bigfoot likes to eat (). 3. Why did bigfoot get its name? " Start answering first.
Health: Living in Holland.
Teacher: Wrong!
Health: living in a swamp!
Teacher: Yes, you thought it over carefully and made a judgment, but you are still wrong!
Health: The swamps in the Netherlands.
Teacher: Wrong!
Health: It's still wrong to start talking.
Health: It's from Hunan.
Teacher: All wet! (Students have a little breakdown) Forget it, do the second question!
Health: fish and shrimp.
Teacher: Wrong!
Health: Other creatures in the water!
Teacher: Wrong! Do you want to read the information again?
Health: OK. Look at the information again. (The class is boiling) This is the answer! Why do you always say that we are wrong?
Teacher: Forget it. Last question.
Health: bigfoot's feet are surprisingly big, and the width of footprints is usually 2.5 meters, so it is called bigfoot.
Teacher: I wrote down all the contents of the materials. This classmate is really something. Still not right!
Health: There was an uproar.
Student: (Suddenly someone reacts) Teacher, you lied to us, and the information you got was false.
Teacher: This classmate's answer is right. Let's have another look. What does the teacher say we should check?
Health: thinking and judging.
Teacher: Yes, the focus is on thinking and judgment, not memory. Let's ask my assistant (a classmate arranged before class) to talk about who did what in the class just now.
Student: A total of 17 students in the class spoke, and the teacher also spoke. Read the material together. ...
Teacher: Thanks to my assistant for her careful observation. In fact, what you just experienced was the scene. What do you think is the most important thing in the scene?
Health: the activities of different characters.
Teacher: OK, then please write down either of the two scenes that just happened, "Guess right or wrong" or "Answer the question". Everything is difficult at the beginning, and the teacher has considered it for everyone. Please start with the following sentence: "The teacher typed a few lines on the screen ..." "There are three big characters on the screen ..." The time is 10 minute.
The third part finds ways to modify exercises.
Scene Description Composition 3 Teacher: Someone should share it this time! (Still no hand raised) You still want to be great writers! Well, put it aside and look at the articles written by real writers. Let's read the text "Father and Son in Earthquake" and see what else you can find. (All the descriptions of father in this red label)
Health: I found that all sentences describing red are sentences describing father.
Health: I found that there are far more places to describe my father than others.
Teacher: Your discovery is amazing. You found another feature of scene description-there are primary and secondary scenes. Now, please look at the scene you described. Are there any main characters? How can we highlight the main characters? Give five more minutes to review. If it is finished, you can continue to write. (Vivid pen modification, individual guidance of division patrol)
Scene description composition Article 4 The scene in the composition is generally inseparable from the description of the physical object, from the description of the environment to the association of the physical object. Scene composition is an important part of the whole composition. In order to comprehensively improve students' writing level, students must master their writing skills. So how can we write the scenes in the composition? Here I will talk about my own views:
1. Watch more. Be a conscientious person in life and observe things around you. All you see in your eyes are scenes. The scene is as big as the sketch of the whole life and as big as the change of the whole world; As small as a grain of rice, a pen, a close-up of an ant, or even smaller and bigger. But when writing, you can only choose one or two scenes as the key description. There are many students who don't know what to write, or who choose but don't know how to express it. The only reason for this problem is that he didn't pay attention, didn't use a sensitive mind, and stopped carefully on the delineated scene interface. If you turn a blind eye and turn a deaf ear to the things around you, you will never write a good composition.
2. Tell the truth. Delineate an interface and describe the scene with a true attitude, just like painting, and "draw" the real thing realistically. This is a beginner's writing, and it is also the basis for us to be "people" from primary school. For example, "family eating together" is a scene, and the painter should "copy" it on paper with lines and colors. When we write a composition, we must describe it in words. How can we let others see the real image? The only way is to describe it "truthfully" with vivid words and appropriate words. For example, the expression of the whole family at dinner: grandpa's good, grandma's good, dad's wit, mom's good,
Scene description composition 5 (communication before class relieves students' nervousness and narrows the distance between teachers and students)
Teacher: Students, do you know what class we are going to have today?
Student: Acting class, composition class.
Teacher: Are you afraid to write a composition?
Student: (Most students say they are afraid, and some students say they are not afraid)
Teacher: Have you been to the classroom of our school?
Health: No.
Teacher: The classroom is only used for major activities in our school. You can come to class here, which shows what an excellent student you are.
Teacher: Are you afraid to see so many teachers in class?
Student: (Some students said they were a little scared, and everyone laughed)
Teacher: Don't be afraid. These teachers grade teachers (laughs).
Teacher: I heard that our class just won the aerobics competition, so our class is the champion class. I am the champion. Who am I afraid of? Show your champion domineering, not afraid of the environment here, and not afraid of writing, okay? Let's read today's lecture aloud: let the scene description move.
Teacher: Let's look at the learning objectives of this lesson first (the courseware shows the learning objectives:
1, know a little common sense: what is scene description?
2. Learn some writing methods: the basic writing methods of scene description.
3. Enhance a sense: let the scene description move)
Teacher: Please ask the representative of Chinese class in our class to read this learning goal. You read the first half and the whole class read the second half.
Students: (Students' reading goals)
First, situational import, rendering atmosphere
Teacher: It's really easy to read. The teacher asks you to watch a video first (after the performance video of the students' exercises is played during the break). I see the students are very excited. Did you see you? This is the scene. Use one word to describe this scene.
Health: spectacular, magnificent, lively and imposing-
Teacher: The students speak very well. Obviously, the teacher didn't invite you to watch the video today. what are you going to do？ Yes, learn how to write this scene in words. In order to complete this task, the teacher has arranged three activities for you to participate in. Let's read it together:
Health: 1, you ask me and answer; 2, you recommend me to reward; 3. You write my comments.
Teacher: First, enter the first activity: you ask me and I answer.
Second, student activities, climbing stairs
1, you ask me and answer.
Teacher: Please look at this part of the tutorial. After self-study and group cooperative learning, you must have gained knowledge about scene description, and there must be some problems that have not been solved. Let's say in the form of exhibition, you can say a little knowledge and ask a little questions.
Health: What have I learned about scene description? Scene description is a description of the overall situation of many characters' activities at a specific time and place, and the scene description should convey a specific atmosphere. My question is: What is the function of scene description?
Health: I'll answer his question. The functions of scene description are: to render the atmosphere and set things off; Create characters and express themes.
Health: I have learned about the common scene descriptions: the common scenes are labor scenes, battle scenes, sports scenes and various meeting scenes. I also have a question: How to describe the scene vividly?
Teacher: The word incisively and vividly is well used.
Health: My question is also: Is there any way to make the scene description more vivid?
Teacher: The teacher also preset a few questions, but you have all told the teacher's questions, so you can be a teacher. (The teacher said while showing the courseware) There is another question that the students didn't ask. The teacher talked about the difference between scene description and environmental description: environmental description is the objective environment to describe the activities of characters, and it is a "static" description; Scene description is a "dynamic" description centered on the activities of characters. Scene description is a combination of character description and environment description.
Teacher: After gaining some knowledge, our teachers and students solved everyone's problems and entered the second activity.
2. You recommend me and reward me
Teacher: In this lesson, we summarize the methods of scene description by appreciating two examples. Please watch a video (playing Ansai waist drum video).
Teacher: What scene does this paragraph describe?
Health: Ansai waist drum
Teacher: Say it in complete sentences.
Health: playing Ansai waist drum
Teacher: Where is it? Connect into one sentence.
Health: Performing Ansai Waist Drum on the Loess Plateau.
Teacher: What kind of atmosphere has it created? Can you sum it up in one word?
Health: warm, hot, magnificent, magnificent-
Teacher: Can you describe this atmosphere in words?
Health: (shaking his head or not talking)
Teacher: A famous artist vividly described the painting in words. (Show:
Look! -hit it and make a determined effort, forgetfulness is dead. Hundreds of young people playing oblique drums, such as hundreds of stones repeatedly hit by strong earthquakes, dance wildly in front of you, like showers, which are the rapid drums; Like a whirlwind, it is a flying tassel, like a frog, it is a jumping step; Like a spark, it is a flashing pupil; Fighting tigers is a powerful charm. What a magnificent, bold and vigorous dance broke out on the Loess Plateau-Ansai waist drum! Ansai waist drum in Liu Chengzhang)
Teacher: Please read this article freely and pay attention to the momentum it expresses.
Student: (Read the text and make a noise)
Teacher: after listening to the students' reading aloud, I feel that the momentum is not shown and the atmosphere is not rendered. Let's read in parts and pay attention to the tone of the sentence you want to read. (Assign reading tasks with occasional reading instruction)
Student: (Read as required)
Teacher: Look, how well the students read. Good reading also comes from the author's good writing, right? Now let's enjoy it.
What techniques did the author use to describe this scene incisively and vividly?
Health: I think the use of figurative rhetoric, such as "hundreds of epigenetic drums with oblique backs, like hundreds of stones repeatedly hit by strong earthquakes, dance wildly in front of you", vividly writes out the powerful characteristics of epigenetic drums and sets off the characters.
Health: I think the rhetoric of parallelism, such as "shower", is a kind of drum-urging; Like a whirlwind, it is a flying tassel, like a frog, it is a jumping step; Like a spark, it is a flashing pupil; Fighting tigers is a powerful charm. The use of five sentences of compound sentence has enhanced the momentum of the article and rendered a warm atmosphere.
Health: I also think there are exaggerated rhetoric, such as "hit hard, forget about it and die." Of course, there is parallelism in this sentence.
Teacher: The students speak very well. They can appreciate the beauty of the article from the perspective of rhetoric. Who can comment from another angle?
Health: I think lyrical sentences are also useful, such as the ending sentence "What a magnificent, bold and intense dance broke out on the Loess Plateau-Ansai waist drum!"
Teacher: You have a unique vision! As you can see, it is also lyrical-
Health: expression
Teacher: Does this also tell us that there can be lyrical and argumentative expressions in the scene description?
Teacher: Let's see what other writing methods are worth learning. Just like structurally—
Student: total score structure
Teacher: Yes, make a general summary first, and then write a detailed description. This technique is called point-to-face combination in writing.
Teacher: The students enjoyed it very well, so let's enjoy it for a while.
(Show: Suddenly a person shouted "Fire", the husband shouted, the woman shouted, and both of them cried. Suddenly (in a short time), hundreds of people were shouting, hundreds of children were crying and hundreds of dogs were barking. In the middle (mixed with) the sound of collapse, heat and whistling wind, hundreds of works together; There are hundreds of cries for help, married with children's voice, the voice of looting and splashing water. In this case, there should be some sounds, not the same. Stomatology)
Teacher: This article is a model of scene description in classical Chinese. Think about these questions and answer them. (Courseware presents questions)
Health: Describe the scene of the fire.
Health: the fire in the middle of the night
Health: panic
Health: nervousness
Health: noisy health: lively
Teacher: This word is not appropriate. When people get angry, you watch the fun. (Laughter)
Teacher: How does the author describe this tense, flustered and noisy scene?
Health: parallelism rhetoric
Health: exaggerated rhetoric
Health: There are many people, including hundreds of men, women and children.
Health: There are many voices. There are hundreds of people shouting, hundreds of children crying, hundreds of dogs barking, hot voices, whistling wind, hundreds of cries for help, dragging houses, robbing things, splashing water and so on.
Teacher: That's good. There are many people, many voices. It's a mess Which student can translate this concise classical Chinese and this fire scene orally and pay attention to it, preferably creatively.
Health: In the dark and windy night of a month, the wind whistles, whose door creaks and sometimes dogs bark, and people are immersed in sweet dreams. Suddenly a man shouted, "Fire! Come and put out the fire! " Did the couple "swish" out of bed? The two children burst into tears with fear. Suddenly, the alley was in chaos: people's shouts, children's cries, dogs' barks, whistling wind, burning sound, houses collapsed and water splashed-
Teacher: This is a great oral composition. What a good combination of dynamic and static description!
Health: Suddenly a man shouted, "Fire! Come and put out the fire! " The couple got up quickly, got dressed and ran out of the house screaming. Two children burst into tears when they saw smoke rushing into the house. In an instant, hundreds of people panicked and shouted, hundreds of children were crying, and hundreds of dogs barked one after another. The fire is getting bigger and bigger. The sound of "scratching", the "rumbling" sound of houses collapsing, the sound of robbing property from the house, and the sound of splashing water when putting out the fire-
Teacher: Your detailed description is in place, and you have an immersive feeling.
Teacher: So, after appreciating these two examples, let's sum up the methods of scene description: (Show the courseware:
First, create a specific atmosphere.
Second, describe the whole scene (surface) first, and then write the details (points) to achieve the combination of points and surfaces.
Third, pay attention to the characterization (expression, action, language, psychology).
Fourth, vivid language (rhetoric, writing techniques, etc. )
Student: (Read aloud and experience)
3. You write my comments
Teacher: In the first two activities, we not only gained knowledge, but also learned methods. What should we do next? Yes, all talk and no practice is false. Let's do the third activity: you write and I comment.
Teacher: Please choose a vivid or deeply touched scene from your own life experience to describe it. Courseware presentation requirements: 1, pay attention to the creation of atmosphere and the expression of theme, and it is best to combine point with surface.
2. Use a variety of techniques to highlight the characteristics of the characters.
3, about 150 words.
Teacher: In order to let students open their minds quickly, the teacher provided several writing topics, all of which are familiar scenes. Please write as required: show courseware 1. As the music played, our formation began-
(Scene of running or aerobics competition between classes)
2. "Send a roll of paper!" The representative of the English class came into the classroom with a stack of rolls of paper-
(Distribution of examination papers after the first monthly examination)
3. "This course is self-study!" Immediately, the teacher walked out of the classroom.
Student: (Write in class, 10 minutes or so)
Teacher: (Seeing a student raise his hand to indicate that he has finished writing, the teacher makes a tour and comments on the instructions in a low voice)
Teacher: Some students have finished it, and we appreciate the wonderful writing. Which student will read your article?
Student: "Roll paper!" The representative of the English class came into the classroom with a stack of rolls of paper. The students flocked to hand out the roll paper. The classroom is in chaos. "ah! Your thesis, 87 points! " "Hey, for you, failure." Some students hold the roll paper high, showing a proud expression, some students are looking for their own from a pile of roll paper, and some students regret it with roll paper. I saw Xiao Ming happily holding a roll of paper. "Ha ha, I got 98 points and got so high! Xiao Qiang, look! " He first showed Xiao Qiang the roll of paper, then held it in his arms and smiled intoxicated. Xiao Qiang stared at the roll of paper in front of him. The red number was 48, and his expression was depressed. Suddenly, he crumpled up the roll paper and quickly stuffed it into the drawer. Hey! It's really "a few happy families and a few worries"! (Applause)
Teacher: Your character description is outstanding.
Student: "This class studies by itself!" With that, the teacher walked out of the classroom. As the saying goes: there is no tiger in the mountain, and the monkey is king. As soon as the teacher left, the class was in chaos, and two students who had studied well were red-faced for a topic and refused to give way to each other; The students sitting in the back row chattered and didn't know what to say; The "Sleeping God" in the class has fallen asleep and drooled all over the table. Suddenly a man shouted, "The teacher is coming!" " The whole class immediately quieted down, and no one dared to wow, except for the rustling of the pen tip on the paper.
Teacher: (Laughter) So this is how you fight guerrilla warfare with your teacher. (Laughter)
Health: Look! -make a determined effort when you jump up, forget yourself and die. Hundreds of students in white shirts, such as hundreds of flying butterflies, dance in front of you, dancing like fairies, dancing like a group of ants and dancing like dance steps. Like a whirlwind, it is a kind of flying charm. On the school playground, what a bold, enthusiastic and passionate dance-aerobics! (Laughter and applause)
Teacher: This student is very clever. He writes by imitation. In fact, our writing begins with imitation. You can compare the gourd painting-life: gourd ladle-
Teacher: No, you draw a gourd. When you draw a gourd, you will find yourself drawing a gourd. When you can draw grapes like a gourd, you become your own family. (Laughter)
Third, the classroom summary, review and reflection
Teacher: After these three activities, have we seen whether our goal has been achieved? The teacher summed up the methods of scene description in Tinker Bell. (Show the courseware,) Let's watch it together:
It is not difficult to describe the scene, but the key is to grasp the elements.
The narrative is clever, and the author distinguishes the main points on the surface.
Clever use of characters to contrast, the atmosphere of the scene appeared.
The description method should be flexible and be appreciated by everyone with diligent practice.
Student: (Read together)
Teacher: The teacher still has two words for the students. I hope the students can understand. Courseware presentation: All learning begins with imitation! Imitate more and practice more. From now on, you will love writing! The students did well in this class. Thank you. Class is over!
Health: Goodbye, teacher!
At night, the wind died down.
People go home to sleep.
Late at night, the wind suddenly became fierce, lifting the tiles on the roof. The tornado came in laughing slowly.
The small town woke up from a deep sleep and people flocked to the east of the city.
The gate was blocked by stones rolling down from the top of the mountain, and people turned around and fled to the west of the city. The city gate in the west of the city is also closed, except for the low puppy hole of Mendi. People are scrambling to squeeze in. The tornado came from the south of the city and walked towards its prey step by step.
People are crazy, and there is only one thing in their minds: escape from this city!
I don't know who pushed hard, and more than 500 people rushed into the dog hole. The rest of the people were in a hurry and crowded in. The dog hole is full of people, and no one can move or escape.
A tornado caught a building, tore it to pieces, and countless bricks flew in the air.
People were trapped there and let the tornado hit them.
A gray world.
It's dawn and the village chief is back. He looked at everything in front of him and seemed shocked to understand.
Scene Description Composition 7 Scene 1: Battlefield
This is a grassland and a battlefield filled with smoke. There are no flowers, no cars, only a group of wounded soldiers. There is a smell of blood and gunpowder in the air from time to time, which makes people feel uncomfortable. There is no shade here; There is no crystal clear lake, only grass covered with green grass and blood left by enemy soldiers. Many soldiers stood in the irregular pit, holding battle flags and blowing loud voices, and stood up from time to time to aim at the enemy. On the opposite mountain, there are several burning chariots and cannons, and thick smoke is floating in the sky like a cloud. Weapons dropped by our soldiers can be seen everywhere: bows and arrows, broken knives. The broken flag is still flying in the wind, proving its existence in the hot air. The war horse faced the difficulties, but the enemy soldiers trembled, but there were still several scarred war horses that fell on the battlefield and left the world forever ... The sun set, leaving many bodies on the battlefield; There is a lot of blood on the ground, and there are many dropped weapons. ...
Scene 2: Hospital
At three or four in the morning, people came and went in the hospital. Families sitting on the edge of the corridor can be seen everywhere. It's like a person is as white as earth. Obviously, they have experienced a lot this day. The nurses at the nurse station are taking turns to rest, so tired that they sigh gently from time to time. Some doctors in the emergency department are giving injections, and the voice of patients crying is endless; Some are doing emergency pressing and sprinting with death; In a word, the hospital is always chilly, and the sound of dripping comes from the empty ward at night. ...
Scene 3: Vegetable Market
At six o'clock in the morning, the vegetable market is already in a state of shoulder to shoulder and a sea of people. The aunts who rushed to buy food bargained with a smile. Their grandson, holding a balloon, chased after it and laughed. People rushing to work at the door rush to work as soon as they buy vegetables. All kinds of wheat are mixed with shouts. Although it is noisy, it is very lively. People who go out from the vegetable market always pack their bags and go home with trophies.
After studying for five years, I am still afraid of reading. As soon as I saw the teacher's discerning eyes, I was afraid. Coincidentally, the teacher asked me to read the text that day, and I felt like I had fallen into an ice cave, and suddenly my heart was cold ... I stuttered when I read, and the louder I read, the more dizzy I became and my face sweated. ...
In the morning, the sun smiled and the golden light spread all over the earth. Listen, there are bursts of reading on campus. In the classroom, in the corridor, beside the garden and under the basketball stand, there are three people in a pile and five people in a group. They are holding books, some are reading and some are reciting.
In the quiet forest, a group of red scarves are reading quietly. They are reading carefully with books in their hands! This childish voice blended into the unique fresh air of that morning and echoed in the Woods.