"Your family is so difficult, we have provided for you until now, but you have become a full-time wife."
The interview video of President Zhang Guimei was searched hot.
The reason is that one of President Zhang's excellent female students, with her husband and children, went back to her alma mater to donate money.
As a result, President Zhang not only refused to accept money, but also kicked her out.
The video triggered a hot discussion among netizens.
Whether a stay-at-home wife is an independent woman, whether it is a good career, whether women have the freedom of choice and other topics are raging on major social media.
The opposition said that people who advocate free choice "don't eat minced meat" and stay-at-home wives put themselves under a dangerous wall. Chairman Zhang punctured the illusion of their peaceful years and sounded the alarm for women who longed for comfort.
Liberals ask, social progress, women's education is not to have more choices, but to limit others' choices?
In fact, although nominally a "stay-at-home wife", whether women quit society without any choice, are trapped in the family, or calmly perform motherhood in the understanding of all parties, their living conditions are completely different.
The young couple interviewed three stay-at-home wives to hear their real feelings.
0 1
It is enough to see through a man and be a full-time wife once.
Before becoming a full-time wife, children had their own bakery with an annual income of nearly 200,000. Husband David is also very self-motivated. He works in a private enterprise and earns a good income.
They worked hard in this big city for five years and bought a two-bedroom car with a loan of hundreds of thousands.
In the year of buying a house, the child was pregnant. Great reaction during pregnancy, working too hard. David said, don't do it if you can't. At that time, the child thought simply, transferred the store without saying anything, and became a full-time wife.
The first days were calm and warm, and David paid all his wages. Children keep their housework in order, and David always has hot meals when he comes home from work.
But the question is, how can life be peaceful after so many years?
Half a year later, David was fired for his work mistakes.
Mortgage and car loan are like a breathless mountain.
David became depressed and decadent, shut himself in the room and played games, and his temper became worse and worse. Once he was drunk, he even touched a child. The child is disheartened and often quarrels with David.
Later, David found a job, but the salary was no longer paid, and only a small part was given to Xiao Tong's family every month. The relationship between the two fell to freezing point.
The child wants a divorce. But she doesn't have a job, the economy is not independent, and life and children are big problems. So I have to put up with it.
Later, when her daughter went to kindergarten, Xiaotong finally started his own private kitchen baking.
She intends to support herself first and then divorce when her income is stable.
A stay-at-home wife is a test for both women and men. It is said that I am responsible for making money to support my family, and you are responsible for beauty, which is often vulnerable to reality.
A full-time wife who has lost the economic initiative will lose her self-worth if her ability is not improved, and she will have no power to fight back in the face of her husband's infidelity, alcoholism and even violence.
Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes. A woman in marriage must never let herself be attached to a man forever. Once he can't bear all the pressure, even if she has strong feelings and encounters all kinds of trivial things in life, she will be exhausted.
02
Full-time wives are not the people who support them, but the family division of labor is different.
Hong Chen used to be a master of returnees, majoring in foreign language exchange.
Hong Chen is now a part-time English teacher in a counseling institution. Usually, she takes care of the children most of the time.
Before getting married, Hong Chen had taught in an international school for 10 years.
Before deciding to be a stay-at-home wife, Hong Chen and her lover had a serious talk and unified their understanding: a stay-at-home wife is not who keeps whom, but a different division of labor in the family.
Nevertheless, when she first resigned, she was still very uncomfortable. For three months, she stayed at home surrounded by diapers with milk powder, and with some postpartum depression, she hardly communicated with others. One day, I went downstairs to take out the garbage, greeted people and couldn't speak clearly.
Her husband sympathized with her and advised her to go out more. Hong Chen began to take her children downstairs and join the circle of community wives.
Women gossip, talk about discounted famous products, talk about beautiful women and gossip about their mother-in-law. It's fresh and interesting, and Hong Chen laughs with them. However, the short-lived enrichment is only an illusion. There are only a few things that ladies talk about.
Hong Chen gradually felt empty.
At her husband's suggestion, Hong Chen, who has a strong learning ability, taught herself French and obtained a certificate of West Point and Western Food. The days when those children burn the midnight oil after sleep are bitter, but super fulfilling.
After her son was weaned at the age of two, Hong Chen couldn't wait to find a part-time job. Every Sunday morning, her husband takes care of the children, and she comes out to give lectures in training institutions. Now, Hong Chen has become a gold medal lecturer in this training institution.
Hong Chen has her own plans. Being a full-time wife is only temporary. When her son is older, she will start her own business and set up her own foreign language training institution.
Two years of full-time wife life is a brand-new attempt for Hong Chen, which enriches her life experience. Being a full-time wife is not easy. Even if you are a woman with a high degree and a wide range of interests, you will often go through a period of anxiety, and only through unremitting efforts can you get out.
Hong Chen said that her greatest achievement in the past two years is that a stay-at-home wife should learn how to think, face life optimistically and bravely, and pass on this happiness and courage to the next generation.
03
Is a full-time wife an independent woman?
Gu Jia, a stay-at-home wife with nothing but thirty Tanya, has become the ideal stay-at-home wife for many people. She can take care of the family and help her husband's career. She is versatile and decathlon.
So, a question was hotly searched: Is a full-time wife an independent woman?
Tan Ya's reply to "Forget it" in Weibo immediately caused a lot of ridicule.
Is a full-time wife an independent woman?
Whether it counts or not depends on what kind of full-time wife she is, just like Gu Jia played by Tan Ya, but Luo Zijun, who was my first half, doesn't count.
This is true in film and television dramas, and it is also true in life.
Yunxiang is the most considerate full-time wife I have ever seen.
Before resigning, she had an enviable job in the imperial city, working nine to five, only four days a week, which was extremely relaxed.
But she resigned voluntarily. The reason is simple: I don't like that job, and I don't want to miss the growth of my children.
Yunxiang doesn't like being bound, and she doesn't like the unchanging life of two points and one line. Walking out of the comfort zone, she felt unprecedented pressure and had more time to think and plan her future.
Because she took the initiative, she could only do her best. During the period of accompanying her son, she participated in various studies and became a pet (parent energy efficiency training) training lecturer, which not only accompanied her children, but also gained a career she liked.
At present, the vast majority of women go to society and enter the workplace through education. Every right that all walks of life strive for for women, every step on the ladder, has subtly changed the face of society.
In balancing the relationship between family and workplace, women also have more choices-most women who choose to be "full-time wives" are not trapped by some traditional concepts, but more based on the needs of family division of labor.
The inclusiveness and connectivity of today's society have also enabled more and more full-time wives to break the traditional concept of "housewives". "Stay-at-home wives" didn't make them lose themselves. While taking care of their families, they allocate their time more freely, create value and show their talents and abilities on more platforms.
The fast-paced life is changing rapidly. Maybe you have been a full-time wife for several years and want to return to the workplace, or you have worked hard in the workplace for several years and want to return to your family. Anyway, please remember: don't lose yourself, let yourself live a valuable life.
Whether you are a working woman or a full-time wife, every choice should be respected, and every woman can live the life she likes.