1. Dad. . I was wrong. . I shouldn't drink the most expensive tea of all. . I didn't know your tea could be as expensive as 1500. . I was wrong, dad. I shouldn't use it to cook tea eggs. I accidentally put a lot in it. . But, dad. . . Let's stop howling. . The door is still open. . Neighbors are coming. .
2. The purpose of the library is not to earn money by fines, but to encourage more reading: I received a letter from new york Library saying that five books borrowed by my son were at least 14 days overdue. If you return the book today, the overdue fine is *** 15 yuan, but you don't have to pay it. You can choose the cumulative reading time to deduct the fine: that is, every time you come to the library to study 1 hour, you can deduct 2 yuan, and if you read for 7 and a half hours, you can deduct the fine of 15 yuan.
3. I remember that in junior high school, the teacher wrote a semi-propositional composition "Stress" or "Stress". We have all written about "growth pressure", "exam pressure" or "we are under pressure", but a prodigy in our class wrote an explanatory article-Pressure cooker. ...
This drummer is so cultured! ! ! A man found the score of a band drummer after the performance. The content is as follows: "At first, it froze for a few bars, and when I heard the guitarist" Zi Er ",I began to freeze crazily."
Before getting up in the morning, I saw my daughter-in-law's happy makeup and asked her why she was so happy today. She replied: I have lost weight, and jeans are good to wear! When I woke up, my jeans were gone.
6. Dry and cold in the north is a physical attack, so you can easily defend yourself by wearing more clothes; The wet cold in the south is a magical invasion. It's no use wearing more clothes. You should be resistant!
7. My friend's girlfriend's name is Xiaowan, which is quite beautiful. This grandson likes to go surfing, especially looking for young ladies, and every time he asks those mothers if they have Xiaowan's name, he will click on that girl if they have. Asking him will ease my guilt. . Finally, two days ago, he ordered a girlfriend. . .
8. It is said that a female classmate has an extra holiday because she has a cold. She told her boyfriend that she came from Shanghai as soon as it got hot. Her boyfriend asked her, "Are you cold?" The female classmate grabbed her boyfriend's hand and put it under her abdomen, so her boyfriend's face flashed instantly. The female classmate continued: "I have a warm baby." Hearing this, my boyfriend took a deep breath and said, "You scared me to death. I thought you would let me touch your sanitary napkin ..."
9. In order to enliven the classroom atmosphere, the teacher wrote a question on the blackboard and said, Come on, classmate 15, you can go to the blackboard and tell us how to do this. 15 is a diaosi. When he walked slowly onto the platform, he asked, Teacher, do you mean to let me speak here like a teacher? The teacher replied: Yes. 15 immediately took it and said, come, 16, go to the blackboard and tell us how to do this problem.
10. On average, nine out of every ten people tried to close the refrigerator door slowly to see when the lights went out.
1 1. Ge You, the head of the group, was once rated as the "film emperor". Some people say that Ge You is not pretty. Ge You laughed at himself: "Busy roads don't grow grass, smart heads don't grow hair."
12. I studied a classmate's composition in the second grade class: "I went to my grandmother's house in the country this weekend, and the mountains were full of ripe potatoes, hanging from the branches and shaking in the wind."
13. Why didn't you do your homework? My classmate: It's too cold today. Dad uses my homework to make a fire to keep warm.
14. After the final exam, the teacher criticized me for my poor performance in class. He said, "XXX, how did you get such a small score?" When the whole class averaged, you seriously delayed our class. " I was puzzled after listening, so I raised my hand and asked, "Teacher, our class is not a pig, but also divided into front and rear legs?"
15.: "Some students are beginning to be proud. Do you remember the story of the race between the tortoise and the hare? Tell me, Xiao Gang, why did the rabbit lose to the tortoise? " Xiaogang: "Because it sleeps." Teacher: "Exactly! What can we do to keep the rabbit awake? " Xiao Gang: "Turn the tortoise into a wolf."
16. In literature class, I sat in the last row and played poker with a classmate to fry golden flowers. I took a handful and three Lao Wang said, run five laps. He said, follow, add ten laps. I gave him a look. Are you sure? He said, ok, plus breakfast tomorrow morning. I said, open it. You show your cards first. He pointed directly at JQK. I showed three old kings that you lost. He suddenly stood up, pointed at me and said, teacher, he plays poker in class.