1 building

(Xiao Jiang, Lao Gao, Da Zhou and Xiao Hu are playing cards)

Jiang: Three.

(Pang Hong comes out of the dormitory)

H: Still playing cards.

Hu, Gao, Zhou and Jiang: Right away, right away, right away!

H: Where is the kitten?

Jiang: Today is Sunday. It's his turn to ask for leave and go out. He accompanied Xiao Zhang and Xiao Yao of the health team to the street.

Hu: Oh, I tell you, it's so cool to make it so smooth!

Jiang: Yes, I'm wearing small suspenders. That guy is too pure.

Zhou: Yes, the little mouse wears frog glasses and pretends to be a clever little bodyguard.

(from the theme song)

G: Who does he protect? He himself belongs to the object of protection.

H: I am back.

Jiang: Oh, oh, oh!

Hu: What a small sample!

Zhou: This is the Boys and Girls Choir. That's not true.

H: Why are you unhappy?

Hu: Aren't you happy to have two beautiful female soldiers with you?

Zhou: It's like a beautiful thing in the world.

G: I wonder if I'm lucky.

Hey, what's up?

Zhang: This matter still needs to be returned.

Mao: Go ahead.

Zhang: Monitor Hong, the thing is this: your class and the two of us (Gai) went shopping. At this time, several beggars' gangs appeared.

Jiang: Wait a minute. What is a beggar doll?

Zhou: Cover the bowl!

Cingil: Yes, it's for making tea.

Yao: No, it's punk!

Crowd: punk, local ruffians, local ruffians.

Zhang: The main reason is that our heads are held too high!

H: Please, you two, don't say turn around, get to the point!

Da Zhou: Right.

Xiao Hu: Exactly.

Zhang: Don't talk about the rate of return, this thing wouldn't exist.

G: Gentlemen, let's talk about the rate of return.

Yao (pushing away): I'll tell you. Here's what happened. The kitten in your class followed us to the street. Oh, mainly because our head-to-head rate is too high! (High-five with Xiao Zhang)

Oh, please hurry!

Yao: Don't worry. I'm telling you, something will happen soon. Some punks have been fooling around with us. Wow, I was just thinking, should I be rude to them? The kitten went to stop them at this time. Unexpectedly, they pushed it (Yao also pushed it and pushed it into the operating room). Hey, kitten, where are you going?

Mao: Xiaoyao, be careful.

Yao: I didn't want to cause a dispute, so I didn't fight back.

Zhang: At this moment, a monitor came forward, knocked over one and scared away several. It was over on the spot, and we came back, that's all.

Z: oh ~

H: Yes, yes! Didn't fight back. But why are you both dressed so beautifully in the street?

Zhang: Monitor Hong, we are born beautiful. We don't exist.

Yao: No way. The floor is great. Let me ask you something, Monitor Hong. When we go shopping on Sunday, we have to wipe the bottom of the pot on our faces first!

Zhang: Thank you. Be brave when you meet something next time!

Yao: Thank you. I hope you become a really brave person.

Zhang Heyao: Goodbye ~

Mao: Goodbye.

Mao: No, monitor. It sounds to me that they are being sarcastic.

H: They're not being sarcastic. They put forward ardent expectations for you.

G: It shows you the way forward.

Zhou: Right.

Mao: No! They seem to say it's me, not like a man!

Jiang: No, they want you to be more like a man. More, more.

Mao: Is it because I didn't hit those two punks?

H: You did the right thing. You did a great job! Avoid disputes and calmly face emergencies. Those two women soldiers didn't say you didn't look like a man, they said they hoped you looked like a man.

Everyone: Yes, yes, yes, I see!

Mao: No, that's not like a man!

C: Cooking, cooking, cooking, there is no time!

Mao: Monitor, why don't I look like a man? Monitor, you say, how to be a man?

(in the canteen)

Mao: Xiao Zhang and Xiao Yao, don't go yet.

Zhang: Why don't you leave? Do you have a fruit plate to eat?

Yao: You'd better have dessert after dinner.

Mao: You two are so beautiful. I have something to ask you both.

Zhang: Hurry up, what's wrong with you?

Mao: I feel sick.

Zhang: Do you have emotional problems again?

Mao: That's right.

Yao: Huh?

Mao: No.

Yao: What's the matter? Say it! Be careful that I hurt you.

Mao: OK, I'll say. I just want to ask you two, what is the man in your girl's mind?

Zhang: Cool, tall and strong, of course. Kitty, I'm not saying you're short.

Mao: What else?

Yao: A muscular man with style and style. Sorry, kitten. I'm not saying you're thin.

Mao: You're right. I just lost weight. It doesn't matter. Yes, I can be a muscular man. Isn't that handsome and cool? ! I see. What are you two still standing here for? Get lost!

second floor

(Yao and Zhang disappear)

Mao: Oh, my God, it's really gone! So unpopular with them, my mother, how difficult it is to be a man!

(In the dormitory, the comrades are busy with their own affairs. At this moment, the kitten opens the door. )

Mao: What are you looking at? I've never seen a handsome guy!

Zhou: This guy is like Astro Boy.

Mao Dui Lao Gao: Get up!

G: why?

Mao sat down and "destroyed" the chess game: Stop playing!

Zhou: What the hell is this?

G: Swing, not by chess.

Masses: Give it to him, give it to him.

(After the game is decided)

Zhou: First red, then black. You go first.

Mao shouted: Good!

Zhou: Jump.

Mao is still loud: horse!

Zhou: Out of town!

As soon as Mao picked up the chess, everyone covered their ears, and finally Mao's voice dropped.

But Mao's volume is very loud: arch!

(Everyone falls to the ground in horror)

Hu: What are you doing? Bowing a pawn is scary.

Zhou: This is not chess. this is not ...

Mao: Go!

Zhou: vault.

Mao: Kill!

Zhou: Here comes the bus, Flying Elephant!

Everyone organized him, but he didn't listen for weeks. )

Mao: Eat!

Jiang: How was your flight? Isn't that a death wish?

Zhou: I was confused by his surprise. Do you have rice porridge in your head? No, it's too scary. This is a chess game.

Hu: I found something wrong with you these two days. What's the matter with you? This little face is as nervous as Stallone, and her throat is as tight as cotton trousers.

Jiang: Yes, you walk like Jackie Chan, but your arms are like King Kong. Are you okay?

G: On the whole, you seem to be ill.

Mao: What do you know? We are all adults, please don't make such childish jokes. Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. ...

(The monitor pushes the door and comes in)

H: What are you doing? Practice Peking Opera. Don't sit on my bed!

Hu: Come here quickly. Look at this.

Hong: The monitor also told me that when you serve meals to the soldiers, you should always pose horizontally.

Mao: I'm not pretending to be horizontal, I'm really horizontal!

Strange: Who recruited him?

Jiang: I don't know.

G: You can't get hard if you pretend that temperament again. How do you compare with James Bond?

Zhou: Even if Wu Dalang chooses two missiles, he is not.

Hu: Mao, I tell you, your appearance is not strong enough. Look at the temperament of our big week, Gaweng Gaweng (I really can't type these two words, let me see). Your anger is a bit like flustered.

Jiang: The main reason is that you are not serious enough. You see that the monitor is steady when he is deep, and cool when you are deep.

Mao: You look down on me, don't you?

G: that's right.

Mao: Good. I practice, I practice, I practice! One day, I will solemnly announce to you: (in a strange accent) Don't look at the kitten, thin and covered in pimples! ID, take two big dumbbells!

In the company commander's office, the clerk is lifting weights with dumbbells. )

File: 55, 56, 57, 100 targets! 59,60,70,80,90, 100! Oh, my God, it's finally done! It's finally done!

(Mao is standing outside the window)

Mao: Paperwork.

Clerk: Oh, the kitten.

Mao: Who taught you to count like this?

Clerk: What do you know? My last few moves are extreme sports. High quality, smelly sweat, a top ten!

(Mao regained his original accent)

Mao: What extreme sports? You are exhausted and dying!

Document: I tell you, my goal is 100, and I have practiced to 60. If you don't come, I don't believe you can lift twenty!

(Mao doesn't believe this. He walked into the office, raised the dumbbell, shook it for a while and then put it down, but his mouth was still stiff. )

Mao: (Henan accent) Your dumbbells are too small.

Document: Kitty, since you joined the army, you are not good at your size, but you are good at bragging. If you can lift a hundred, I'll give you this dumbbell and never practice muscle again. I quit the dumbbell ring!

Mao: It's too easy. According to your toad counting method, isn't it one hundred?

Shop assistant: You do it!

(Mao begins to look up, but his expression is getting more and more painful)

Gross: 25 10, 25 10, 25 10, 25/kloc-0, 25 10, 25 10. (Henan accent) I got the file dumbbell! (running out of the company commander's office)

(chased files)

Document: Hey, kitten! I haven't finished practicing yet. Come back!

(In the operating room, the kitten runs in with a feed bucket in one hand.)

Jiang: What are you doing?

H: why? (starts playing with the kitten's head) Stop it! I told you to go out and get a feed bucket. It took you so long to come back.

Mao: Monitor, I'm carrying a feed bucket in one hand. I went to the station, company, boarding gate and airport.

G: My mother, you went to the airport! Didn't you say hello to those J-10 pilots on my behalf, Mao?

Mao: I saw the plane, but I didn't see the pilot!

G: My mother, why doesn't he wait there for a while?

H: You'd better teach you.

G: Mao, I'm just kidding you. You really have to turn around. Do not turn around. In another two days, the company commander will not look for you, and the health team will look for you. Because you're crazy again.

Mao: Bah.

H: Ah!

Mao: Here!

Hu: Here, give me the noodles.

Mao: Yes!

(walks into the storage room and takes out noodles)

Hu: Oh, good, good! This guy can lift half a bag now! Put it down. Put it down. Go, bring me that rice bag.

Mao: Yes!

Jiang: Wait a minute, Mao. What are you doing? It is rice and noodles. Mao, go in and help me take out the pickle jar.

Mao: Yes!

Jiang: Thank you.

Hu: You're like calling somebody else!

(Mao knocks out a jar at a time)

Mao: Nothing!

Jiang: Mao, I think you'd better put it down. Otherwise, if it is really broken, we have to pay for it, right, monitor?

Mao: Where shall I put it?

Jiang: Put it back.

(Mao stumbles in with a jar in his hand. After coming out, it seems to be looking for something)

Woman: What?

Zhou: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? This rice bag is made of noodles, pickles and feed buckets. Look what you did to the child. This little arm, calf, small foot, small nose, small eyes and small head. You thing, this is a lie! If you ask me, buy two eggs

Mao: mend it?

Zhou: No, it's practice.

Mao: Don't slander my strength! You, and you! You! And ... (referring to our monitor Hong) My mother, born barbell!

H: Don't move! I'm ticklish, don't move!

Mao: Monitor, you must let me try!

H: OK, OK, try it, try it.

Crowd: One, two, three!

Mao: Yes! The monitor's feet are off the ground!

Everyone: OK, OK!

H: Not bad, not bad. Cook quickly.

Ginger: That's really hairy. It's lifted.

(See Mao motionless) Hong: All right, that's enough. Let's get to work. Stop it! Oh, don't be cool!

Mao: My arm!

Oh, my God!

Dislocated, dislocated. (Picks up the kitten and rushes out of the operating room)

(in the dormitory)

Zhang: I think his bone is broken.

Q: Huh?

Zhang: It doesn't exist at all.

Yao: Shoulder joint falls off.

Q: Huh?

Yao: Absolutely impossible.

Hu: Say something possible!

H: that's right.

G: say something possible.

Yao: Soft tissue contusion.

Z: impossible!

Yao: It's entirely possible.

Zhang: How did you get hurt?

Hu: How did you get hurt? I have practiced bodybuilding. Use the monitor as a barbell to lift weights. If you don't have a broken bone, you are lucky!

Yao: I see. I'm telling you, you can't promote monitor Hong from the beginning.

Everyone: Right, right, right.

Zhang: Yes, step by step, isn't it? If you want to lift monitor Hong, you must first practice lifting cows!

H: Why do I hear you talk like a curse?

Zhang: That's not what I meant. I mean, as long as you lift the cow, you can be lifted.

H: Why do I still sound like swearing?

Zhang: Oh, let me tell you a story. There was a strongman in the former Soviet Union. How did he practice it? When he was young, his mother asked him to lift his calf. The calf grows up day by day, and its strength increases day by day. Finally, I finally became a Hercules.

W: Oh, I see.

Mao: Oh, yes, I have to mention something first. Monitor, you go and buy me a cow.

H: What you think is good!

Mao: You won if you don't buy it. There seems to be a lamb in the circle (changed to Henan Mandarin). I'll lift it! (Running out of the dormitory, everyone starts pointing at Xiao Zhang)

(in the operating room)

G: Monitor, I want to tell you something.

H: We'll talk about it later. Can't you see I'm busy cooking sick rice?

G: Monitor, I'm not afraid to hurt your face. Anyway, I'm leaving the army. I don't want to offend people, but there are some situations I don't like. I have always hated evil.

H: Oh, what's so exciting? There is no evil body and no hatred. Tell me what it is.

G: I'll tell you what, let's buy that mutton. Too hungry. The kitten is busy practicing bodybuilding. He doesn't feed sheep.

Zhou: Don't talk nonsense if you don't know the situation. It's not hungry or afraid. This guy carries it up and down all day, which is unbearable.

Hu: Monitor, I can't stand it. Let me tell you something. Recently, besides poetry, I also read some books on psychology.

H: get to the point

Hu: Get to the point, get to the point. This sheep, I tell you, now its fear directly affects its appetite. But also caused psychological barriers. Now

Jiang: Yes, monitor, I'm telling you, it's all Xiao Zhang's good Xiaoyao who makes trouble. What do you mean? This animal can be lifted when it grows up. This is not nonsense!

Hu: Nonsense.

Jiang: You can't lift this elephant from an early age. If you want to raise mice, you can't build muscles even when you are old.

H: Very reasonable.

H: That's ridiculous. I was just talking to him. He really lifted it!

Everyone: kitten, kitten, kitten, kitten!

(Mao covers his head and comes in)

Mao: Monitor.

Hong: What's the matter, kitten?

H: Sit here, sit here.

H: What's the matter?

Mao: I was kicked by a sheep.

H: That sheep knows martial arts. It can kick as high as its head.

H: exactly.

G: Oh, you are so ignorant. Hasn't he been practicing that sheep lifting? Who is he pushing? Who won't kick him?

Zhou: Fortunately, it is a lamb. If it's an old goat, god, why don't you kick three heads out?

G: Comrades, learn your lesson. You don't usually pay much attention to ideological constraints, do you? You just want to show off your fitness in front of lesbians. What's the matter? You were kicked by a sheep.

Hu: Mao, let me talk about you. You can't practice like this. You have to pay attention to scientific methods. Go back and practice a three-foot thick arm and a foot thick leg, and the muscles are unevenly distributed. Too ugly, too ugly.

H: I can tell you that you can't lift it anymore. All living things can't lift it. No pig, dog, sheep or horse, including me, can be mentioned.

Yes, what do you do with animals?

H: What's wrong with me? You took me to the ditch. Still laughing, hurry to feed the sheep, hungry!

Mao: That's not hungry.

Zhou: I told you I'm not hungry, I'm just scared.

Mao: I am not afraid either. Monitor, I didn't dare to feed it after I was kicked by it. Who let the prodigal lamb indulge in it? I won't lift it. It is not used to it, so it bleats like a sheep.

H: stop screaming. Please go and feed the sheep!

Mao: You feed it.

Hey, go now!

Mao (covering his head and continuing to learn from sheep): OK.

H: This matter has reached the point where it must be solved. Have a class meeting tonight!

Z: yes!

(in the dormitory)

Hong: Comrades, today's class meeting is mainly about military fitness.

G: Let me say a few words first. There is nothing wrong with fitness itself. The key is that the motivation should be pure and can't be shown to others. Practice until you can fight and win.

Everyone: Right, right, right.

Hu: Women like themselves, while scholars like themselves. This is a normal physiological reaction.

Jiang: The reaction is right and the practice is right. The problem is that you practice blindly.

Zhou: Why are you practicing blindly? Fitness is fitness. At least like a soldier, right? As soon as he put on his new military uniform, the guy stood loosely on the edge of the airport runway, like a scarecrow, which is very suitable for scaring birds.

Mao: Don't fly a plane after listening to birds? Any other comments? Wang Cheng calling, fire at me!

H: Pay attention to quality. Let me tell you something, kitten.

Mao: Monitor, you don't have to hide the knife in your smile. The batch will be approved. I am a hero. I am a hero.

What do you mean? Kitten, look at what you said. You think I don't want to exercise. Actually, I want to exercise more than you do. I want to turn my chess pieces into eight pieces. So, in the future, I will work out with you.

Mao: Really?

H: Yes, but don't mention the sheep again. Fortunately, the sheep kicked you that day. It's no big problem. If you want to catch up with sheep, your stomach will be bad, and what will happen to your head?

Mao: Monitor, I thank you.

H: Let me tell you something. Thy company attaches great importance to it and wants to hire a fitness instructor for us.

Mao: Really?

H: I also need to buy a lot of fitness equipment.

Mao: Do you have dumbbells and barbells?

H: There are all kinds of combined instruments.

Mao: What's it like?

G: how strange is it? Isn't it often shown on TV? Like a recliner, the expression on it looks like a tiger stool.

Zhou: Oh, it's not good to do something, compared with that big iron block.

Hu: You don't understand this. Scientifically, what do you do? Exercise your muscles. That's right.

Jiang: I don't believe you, Xiao Hu. Then I want to practice the muscles on my tongue. Can I practice?

Zhou: Then why not practice? (Jiang Ye said together) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Mosquitoes are big, big mosquitoes, three mosquitoes can fry a plate,

H: All right!

Da Zhou: Hey ~

Hu: You still want to practice your heels.

H: OK, OK, have a class meeting and be serious. I want to make an announcement now. Our class is the first group of students to exercise, so I'm going with the kitten.

(Hong and Mao leave their seats)

Mao: I thank you, monitor!

(Hong and Mao walk out of the dormitory)

Jiang: No, why is the monitor the first batch?

Hu: Didn't the first batch take care of the old, the weak and the sick?

Zhou: Do we still need to practice just for our physique?

H: exactly.

Zhou: It's a stop over there. The mark is fierce.

Gao: Your standard is to be fierce, so where did you put Lao Gao? (getting up) Don't look at my buddy, who is thin and full of tendons. I started to do bodybuilding, and my facial expression was really ...

Hu, Jiang and Zhou all ran away: Oh, my God! Run!

(Only Lao Gao works out)

(End)