When I opened my eyes, I found that I could see nothing. When it was dark in front of me, I was as frightened and sad as if I had had a nightmare. I will never forget that feeling in my life. )
1880 On June 27th, I was born in Tusgambia, Alabama, in the southern United States.
Paternal ancestors came from Sweden and immigrated to Maryland, USA. Incredibly, one of our ancestors turned out to be an expert in deaf education. Who would have thought that he would have a blind, deaf and dumb offspring like me? Every time I think about it, I can't help feeling a lot. Fate is really unpredictable!
Since my ancestors bought land in Tus Gambia, Alabama, the whole family has settled here. It is said that at that time, because of its remote location, my grandfather rode from Tuscany to Philadelphia 760 miles away every year to buy materials, farm tools, fertilizers and seeds needed at home and on the farm. Every time my grandfather is on his way to Philadelphia, he always writes a letter home to report his safety. The letter gives a clear and vivid description of the scenery along the westbound route and the people, things and things encountered during the journey. To this day, people still like to read the letters left by their grandfather over and over again, just like reading an adventure novel.
My father Arthur Keller was a Confederate captain during the Civil War, and my mother katie adams was his second wife. My mother's father is several years younger than me.
Before I became ill and lost my sight and hearing, the house we lived in was very small, only a big square house and a small house where a servant lived. At that time, according to the habits of southerners, they would build another room next to their home in case of emergency. After the civil war, my father built a house like this. He has lived in this small house since he married my mother. Covered with grapes, climbing roses and honeysuckle, the hut looks like a pavilion made of garden branches. The small balcony is also hidden in the flowers of yellow roses and southern poria cocos, becoming a paradise for colorful hummingbirds and careful bees.
The old house where my grandparents live is only a few steps away from our Rose Pavilion. Because our home is surrounded by dense trees and green vines, our neighbors call our home "green home". This is a paradise for childhood.
Before my tutor Miss Sullivan arrived, I often walked slowly into the garden alone, leaned against the hedge of boxwood, used my sense of smell to find the first blooming violets and lilies, and inhaled the fresh fragrance deeply.
Sometimes I come here alone to seek comfort when I am in a bad mood. I always hide my burning face in the cool leaves and grass to calm my restless mood.
Being in this green garden is really refreshing. There are tendrils crawling on the ground, drooping jasmine, and a very rare flower called butterfly lotus. Because its easily falling petals resemble the wings of butterflies, it is called Butterfly Lotus, which gives off the smell of My Sweetie. But the most beautiful ones are the wild roses. In the greenhouse in the north, it is rare to see this climbing rose in my home in the south. It crawled everywhere, hanging upside down on the balcony in a long string, emitting fragrance without any dust. Every morning, it feels so soft and noble under the irradiation of dew, which makes people intoxicated. I can't help but think from time to time, so is the exposed orchid in God's imperial garden!
The beginning of my life is simple and ordinary, just like when every family welcomes their first child, everyone is full of joy. In order to name the first child, everyone racked their brains and argued with each other, and everyone thought that the name they came up with was the most meaningful. My father wants to be named after his most respected ancestor, MiddleCampbell, while my mother wants to be named after her mother, Helen April. After repeated discussions, we decided to use grandma's name according to mom's wishes.
First there was an argument about the name, and then in order to take me to church for baptism, everyone was in a hurry. My excited father forgot his name on the way to church. When the priest asked "What's the baby's name", the nervous and excited father suddenly said the name "Helen Adams". Therefore, my name is not "Helen April" after my grandmother, but "Helen Adams".
My family told me that when I was a baby, I showed indomitable character. I'm full of curiosity about everything and I'm stubborn. I often want to imitate every move of adults. So, at the age of 6 months, I can send out "tea! Tea! Tea! " And "hello!" The sound attracted everyone's attention. Even the word "water" was learned by me before 1 year old. I didn't forget the words I learned before until I got sick, but I still remember the word "water".
My family also told me that I can walk as soon as I turn one. My mother picked me up from the bathtub and put me on her lap. Suddenly, I found the shadows of trees shining on the smooth floor, so I slipped down from my mother's leg and stepped on it step by step.
In spring, birds chirp and sing. In summer, fruits and wild roses are everywhere. When the grass is yellow and the leaves are red, it is late autumn. Three beautiful seasons passed by in a hurry, leaving a beautiful memory on a lively babbling child.
However, the good times don't last long, and the happy times always end prematurely. A spring full of beautiful songs of robins and larks and full of flowers quietly disappeared in the high fever. In the terrible February of the following year, I suddenly fell ill and had a high fever. The doctor's diagnosis was acute gastric congestion and cerebral congestion, and they declared that it could not be saved. But one morning, my high fever suddenly subsided, and the whole family was inexpressibly surprised by the miracle. However, this high fever has made me lose my sight and hearing, as ignorant as a baby, but they, my family and doctors, are completely ignorant.
[Edit this paragraph] The first day
On the first day, I want to meet someone. Their kindness, gentleness and friendship make my life worth living. First of all, I hope to stare at the face of my dear teacher, Mrs. Anne Sullivan Macy, for a long time. When I was a child, she came to me and opened the outside world for me. I will not only see the outline of her face in order to treasure it in my memory, but also study her appearance and find vivid signs of her tenderness and patience out of sympathy. This is how she accomplished the arduous task of educating me. I hope to see in her eyes the strong character that can make her stand firm in the face of difficulties and the sympathy for all mankind that she often reveals to me.
I don't know what it means to see a friend's heart through the "window of the soul", that is, through the eyes. I can only "see" the outline of a face with my fingertips. I can detect laughter, sadness and many other obvious emotions. I know my friends by feeling their faces. However, I really can't describe their personalities by touching them. Of course, through other methods, through the thoughts they expressed to me, through any actions they showed me, I also learned something about their personalities. But I can't have a deeper understanding of them, and that kind of understanding, I believe, can be obtained by seeing them, observing their reactions to various expressed thoughts and situations, and paying attention to their eyes and facial reactions.
My friends, I know them very well, because many years later, they revealed all aspects of themselves to me; However, I have only an incomplete impression of my temporary friends. This impression came from a handshake, from the words I understood from their lips through my fingertips, or from their gentle touch in my palm.
You people with vision can quickly understand the essence of the meaning expressed by each other by observing each other's subtle facial expressions, muscle tremors and gestures. How easy and satisfying it is! However, have you ever thought about using your vision to grasp the appearance of a person's face and see through the heart of a friend or acquaintance?
I also want to ask you: Can you accurately describe the faces of five good friends? Some people can, but many people can't. In an experiment, I asked husbands the color of their wives' eyes. They often look embarrassed and admit that they don't know. By the way, wives always complain that their husbands don't pay attention to their new clothes, the color of their new hats and the changes in home furnishings.
People with vision, their eyes soon get used to the routine of things around them, and they actually only pay attention to amazing and spectacular things. However, even if they watch the most magnificent wonders, their eyes are lazy. Court records reveal how inaccurate the witness sees every day. An event will be "seen" by several witnesses in several different ways. Some people see more than others, but few people can see everything in their field of vision.
Ah, if you give me three days of light, how many things I will see!
The first day will be very busy. I will call all my dear friends, look at their faces for a long time and engrave the external traces of their inner beauty in my heart. I will also keep my eyes on a baby's face, so that I can capture that kind of longing and pure beauty before the personal consciousness caused by life conflict is established.
I will also look into the faithful eyes of my puppies-serious and quiet little scottie, lucky, strong and sensible big Dean and Helge. Their warm, childish and naughty friendship gave me great comfort.
On the first busy day, I will also observe the simple gadgets in the room. I want to see the warm color of the carpet under my feet, the paintings on the wall, and the intimate gadgets that turn the house into a home. My eyes will stay piously on the braille books I have read, but those books with printed fonts that people can read will make me more interested. In the long night of my life, the books I have read and read to me have become a brilliant and huge lighthouse, showing me the deepest passage of life and soul.
On the afternoon of the first day I can see, I will go hiking in the forest and let my eyes indulge in the beautiful scenery of nature. In a few hours, I will try my best to absorb the magnificent and vast wonders that are often displayed in front of people with normal vision. On the way back from the forest outing, I will walk on the path near the farm, so that I can see horses plowing in the fields (maybe I can only see a tractor) and carefree people living close to the land. I will pray for the dazzling sunset wonders.
At dusk, I will be glad to see foreign objects with artificial light. When nature announced the arrival of darkness, human beings created light to expand their horizons. On the first night when I have vision, I can't sleep, and my heart will be full of memories of this day.
The next day [Edit this paragraph]
The next day when I have vision, I will get up before dawn and watch the night turn into a moving miracle during the day. I will look up at the magnificent panorama of dawn with awe, and at the same time, the sun wakes up the sleeping earth.
On this day, I will take a quick look at the world, past and present. I want to see the miracle of human progress, the endless changes over thousands of years. How can you compress it into one day after so many years? Through the museum, of course. I often visit the new york Museum of Natural History and touch many exhibits there with my hands, but I am eager to see with my own eyes the brief history of the earth and its residents-animals and humans depicted according to the natural environment, huge dinosaur fossils and saber-toothed elephants, which roamed the earth long before human beings appeared, and conquered the animal kingdom with their short stature and powerful brains; The museum also vividly introduces the development of animals, humans and labor tools. Humans use these tools to create a safe and reliable home for themselves on this planet. The museum also introduces countless other aspects of natural history.
I don't know how many readers of this article have seen all kinds of living animals depicted in that attractive museum. Of course, many people don't have this opportunity, but I believe that many people who have the opportunity don't make good use of it. There is really a good place to use your eyes. You can spend many meaningful days there visually, but I can only take a look with the help of the three imaginary ones I can see.
My next stop will be the Capital Art Museum, because just as the Natural History Museum shows the material face of the world, the Capital Art Museum shows countless aspects of the human spirit. Throughout human history, human beings' strong desire for artistic expression is almost as urgent as treating food, hiding place and reproducing offspring.
Here, in the huge exhibition hall of the Capital Art Museum, the spirits of Egypt, Greece and Rome are displayed in their art and presented to me.
I clearly know the gods and goddesses of ancient Nile countries through my hands. I touched the replica in the Parthenon and felt the beauty of the rhythm of the Athens stormtroopers. Apollo, Venus, and Samorius, the god of victory with wings, all make me fondle admiringly. Homer's bearded face is extremely precious to me, because he also knows what blindness is. My hand doesn't want to miss the realistic marble carving in Rome and later period. My hand once touched Michelangelo's moving and heroic stone statue of Moses. I feel the power of Rodin, and I am in awe of the Goths' love for woodcut. These touchable works of art mean a lot to me. However, they are not so much for people to touch as for people to watch. I can only guess the beauty that I can't see. I can appreciate the simple lines of the Greek vase, but I can't see its patterns and decorations.
So, on this day, give me a bright second day, I want to find the human soul through art, and I want to see what I know through touch. Even better, the whole magnificent painting world will be open to me, from early Italian art with quiet religious color to modernist art with crazy style. I will carefully observe the oil paintings of Raphael, Leonardo da Vinci, Titian and Rembrandt. I want to appreciate the warm colors of Villone Sa, study the mystery of Al grieco, and re-observe nature from Koro's paintings. Ah, you people with eyes can appreciate such rich meaning and beauty in the art of past dynasties! During my short visit to this art hall, I couldn't comment on the great art world before me at all. I only got a superficial impression. The artist told me that in order to achieve profound and true artistic appreciation, we must train our eyes.
People must learn from experience to judge the quality of lines, composition, form and color. How happy I would be if I had the vision to engage in such fascinating research! However, I heard that for many people with vision, the art world is still a world to be further explored.
I reluctantly left the Capital Art Museum, where the key to beauty was hidden. However, people who can see often don't need to go to the Capital Art Museum to find the key to beauty. The same key is still waiting on the shelves of smaller museums and even small libraries. However, in the limited visual time in my imagination, I have to choose a key to open the place with the greatest treasure in the shortest time.
On the second night of seeing the light again, I will spend it in the theater or cinema. Even now, I often participate in various performances in the theater, but the plot must be spelled out by my partner. However, how I want to see Hamlet's charming style with my own eyes, or Falstaff, who wears colorful Elizabethan costumes! How I want to see Hamlet's graceful movements and energetic Falstaff's strutting! Because I can only watch one play, which makes me feel embarrassed, because there are dozens of plays I want to watch.
You have vision and can see any scene you like. When you watch a play, a movie or any scene, I don't know how many people know and appreciate the visual miracle that allows you to enjoy its color, beauty and action. Because I live in a range limited to touch, I can't enjoy the beauty of rhythm. But I can only vaguely imagine the beauty of a chin, although I know a little rhythmic pleasure, because I can often feel the beat of music when it vibrates the floor. I can totally imagine that rhythmic exercise must be the most pleasant sight in the world. I can infer several points by touching the lines of the marble statue with my fingers. If this static beauty can be so lovely, the dynamic beauty you see must be more exciting. One of my most precious memories is that Yue Se Jefferson asked me to touch his face and hands while he was talking and performing his beloved rib Van Wink.
I can experience a little drama world, and I will never forget the happiness of that moment. However, how eager I am to watch and listen to the interaction between dialogue and action in the process of drama performance! And how much happiness can be seen from it! If I can only watch one play, I will know how to describe the plots of nearly 100 plays I have read or studied in Braille letters in my mind. So, on my fictional second night of seeing the light again, I didn't sleep well and enjoyed drama literature all night.
[Edit this paragraph] Day 3
The next morning, I will greet the dawn again, eager to find new happiness, because I believe that for those who can really see, the dawn of every day must be a new beauty that will be repeated forever. According to the deadline of my imaginary miracle, this will be the third and last day I can see. I won't have time to spend on regrets and desires, because there are too many things to see. On the first day, I dedicated myself to my friends, both alive and lifeless.
The next day, I saw the history of human and nature. Today, I will spend my time in the current daily world and go to places frequented by people who are busy with their lives. Where can I find so many activities and situations like new york? So this city became my destination.
I started from my home, a quiet little suburb of Frost, Long Island. Here, surrounded by green grass.
Trees and flowers, neat little houses, full of happy voices and activities of women and children, are very happy, and are quiet rest places for urban working people. I drove across the steel belt bridge across the East River and got a brand-new impression of the strength and originality of the human brain. Busy ships rattle and rush in the river-high-speed ships, slow, snorting tugboats. If I can see one day in the future, I will spend a lot of time watching the cheerful scene in this river. I looked ahead, and in front of me stood new york, a strange tall building, located in a city that seemed to have stepped down from myth. What a great building! These splendid church spires, these huge stone and steel banks and slopes-it's really like God built them for himself. This vivid picture is part of the daily life of millions of people. I wonder, how many people will look back? Very few, I'm afraid. They turned a blind eye to the magnificent scenery because it was all too familiar to them.
I hurried to the top of the Empire State Building, which is a huge building, because not long ago, I looked down at the city with my secretary's eyes, and I was eager to compare my imagination with reality. I believe that all the scenery displayed in front of me will not let me down, because it will be the scenery of another world for me. At this time, I began to travel around the city. First of all, I stood on a busy street corner, just looking at people and trying to understand their lives by observing them. Seeing their smiles, I feel happy; I am proud to see their serious decision; Seeing their pain, I can't help feeling sympathy.
I walk along Fifth Avenue. I look around, my eyes are not on a specific goal, but only on a kaleidoscope of colorful scenes. I'm sure that the color of women's clothes moving in the crowd must be a gorgeous scenery, which will never bore me. However, if I have vision, I may be like most other women-interested in the fashion style of personal clothes and not paying much attention to a lot of bright colors. Moreover, I'm sure I'll become a window customer with a habit that can't be changed, because it must be a pleasure to watch these countless beautiful exhibits.
Starting from Fifth Avenue, I will travel around the city-to Park Avenue, to slums, to factories, to parks where children play, and I will also visit foreign residential areas and make an overseas trip without going out.
I always look at all the happy and painful scenes with my eyes wide open, so that I can investigate deeply and learn more about how people work and live.
My heart is full of images of people and things. My eyes never let go of a little thing easily. It tries to pay close attention to everything it sees. Some scenes are pleasant and intoxicating; But some are extremely sad and sad. For the latter, I will never close my eyes, because they are also a part of life. To close your eyes in front of them is to close your heart and mind.
The third day I can see is coming to an end. Maybe there are many important and serious things that I need to see and do in the remaining hours. However, I am afraid that on the last night, I will go to the theater again to watch a lively and interesting drama and appreciate the homophonic sounds in the human mind.
At midnight, my brief moment of getting rid of the plight of the blind ended, and the eternal night approached me again. In those short three days, I naturally couldn't see everything I wanted to see. Only when the darkness came to me again did I feel how much I had left behind. However, my heart is full of sweet memories, which leaves me little time to regret. After that, I touched everything, and my memory will clearly reflect the appearance of that item.
My brief description of how to spend these three days of seeing again may not be consistent with the arrangements you made for yourself when you knew you were going blind. However, I believe that if you really face that kind of bad luck, your eyes will try to focus on things you have never seen before and store them in your memory for the long night ahead. You will make better use of your eyes than before. Everything you see is so precious to you that your eyes will see everything that appears in your sight. Then, you will really see a beautiful world unfold before you.
Blind I can give a hint to those who can see-a piece of advice to those who can make full use of their natural eyesight: make good use of your eyes as if you would be blind tomorrow. The same method can also be applied to other senses. Listen to the beauty of music, listen to the songs of birds, and listen to the powerful tunes of the orchestra, as if you will be deaf tomorrow. Touch whatever you want, as if your touch will decline tomorrow. Smell the fragrance of all the flowers and taste every mouthful, as if you can't smell or taste it tomorrow. Make full use of every sense, and be proud of all the pleasant and beautiful details that the world has shown you through several means of contact endowed by nature! However, among all the senses, I believe that vision must be the most pleasing to the eye.