Don't be fat, or you will be poor enough to beg, and no one will believe you are a beggar.
You are so beautiful. Thank your parents first. If they didn't give you a pair of skillful hands, could you make yourself so beautiful?
It's not good to be too polite. Someone stepped on my foot just now, and I habitually said thank you.
5. "What unscrupulous methods did your parents use to stop you from puppy love?" "Give me this face!"
6. Society can really change people. I used to be an excellent person at school, but now I am a good person. This is what the girls told me.
Even if a beautiful person makes a mistake, others can easily forgive him. Ugly people can't be forgiven by others because of their looks.
Recently, I am very sad because of my looks, and even feel inferior, because others always say that what looks good is not a good thing.
9. Before going to bed at noon, husband: Daughter-in-law, you can sleep peacefully! I'll catch mosquitoes for you! I was moved to sleep. Hardly had I fallen asleep when I heard a loud laugh. I opened my eyes and saw that it was my husband. Husband: After chasing mosquitoes a few times, I suddenly felt like a pork seller.
When I was a child 1 I hated eating and sleeping. Now think about it, I really don't know when I was blessed!
1 1. Be sure to remember those who chat with you late into the night. It is because of them that you stay up late, resulting in heavy dark circles and poor skin.
There was a heavy rain here the other day, and the houses were flooded. Scared me to death. Fortunately, my daughter-in-law saved my life. If she hadn't been so angry at that time, I would have died.
Thirteen. A buddy got stuck in his foot by a nail while shopping, pulled it out and threw it across the street. As a result ... when I came back, I was stabbed by that nail again ... what a tragedy!
14. People who often see foodies! Tell me about my son! My son is eating. I will say a word repeatedly by his side: son, raise your head and catch your breath!
15. After an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl, his friend said, "It's really unfair to the girl. You can be her grandfather. " The old man was very dissatisfied: "I am more wronged. Her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I have to pretend to be a grandson! " "
16. My wife turned a little white in makeup today and asked me, "What should I do?" I said, "Come on, I'll slap you twice and give you some red." Then my face turned red.
17. If you want to catch a person's heart, you must first catch a person's stomach. Feed your partner fat, and no one will want to rob you.
18. My mother asked me today. Son, if you find a wife in the future, will you leave your mother alone? I said angrily, "mom, who do you take me for?" Am I the kind of person who can find a wife? "
Nineteen. There are two things that others cannot take away. One is the food you eat in your stomach, and the other is the dream you hide in your heart. So I want to be a dreamy foodie.
I don't believe anyone who used to say I have small eyes. Finally one day, I was lying on the sofa watching TV. Suddenly, my mother came back and turned off the TV, and then quietly covered me with a quilt.
2 1. The soldier asked the company commander for leave to go home. The company commander said: No, the soldier went home the next day. Three days later, the soldier returned to the company, and the company commander asked him: Why did you go home without authorization? The soldier said, didn't you let me go home?
22. I always thought I was smart and talented until I went to driving school to learn driving!
Twenty-three Once I received a business card from a fitness instructor in the street, and I looked at it word for word: Zhang Dongya, the health terminator. He smiled and said, Madam, my name is Dong Zhang.
24. A guest is dining in a restaurant. He called the restaurant owner and said, why does this roast chicken have chicken feathers? The boss said: this ... this ... this is our anti-counterfeiting sign!