When I was in junior high school, I chatted with my deskmate and asked me why we always had endless words. I answered her subconsciously, because we haven't seen each other for more than ten years, and we can't finish talking about the past, let alone the new things every day.
After many years, I find it difficult to find a truly happy person around me. Most of my friends work day after day. It's good to cope with work, buy a house and a car, and get married smoothly. Being confined to a narrow field of vision, quitting your job and traveling around the world will not make you happy at once.
In fact, people don't become happy all at once. Happiness requires long-term practice, a lot of homework and ways to keep happiness.
While practicing hard and pursuing happiness, I hope to make some notes to share with you and remind myself of the significance of saving my life.
Find your sport.
Limb weakness, slow response, hands and feet alike, never afraid of physical education class socializing with sports, never willing to be a pig teammate, and resolutely give up all ball games.
There is no street suitable for running shows and GPS positioning where I live, so I resolutely give up outdoor running.
I have tried yoga and pilates, practiced taekwondo and karate, and I can't give up decisively for a long time.
Finally, it is found that a zero-cost otaku sport suitable for ladies and Jasper families is Zumba Zumba Dance, which has been popular abroad for many years. Dancing in front of the video for half an hour at home is as light as a swallow, because there are many jumps and the music is generally cheerful. Simply repeating the steps several times can keep up with similar Duoyan Zheng aerobics.
Another favorite is hiking on weekends. Although you can't climb mountains in the outer suburbs every week, it's good to go every time. Three or four hours of concentrated physical training is also a good surprise exercise. Many people also call their friends.
The body needs chicken blood
Being weak and in a state of fatigue and sub-health for a long time will make it difficult for people to cope with work. I feel too tired to sleep all day. Foreigners will suggest that you need a ride. Many foreigners will drink caffeinated drinks and even add a little wine to their coffee to make them happy. Of course, you can't drink too much, otherwise it will easily become alcoholism. It is necessary to add one or two cups of coffee or tea every morning and afternoon. It is really necessary for your body to supplement some stimulants. Drinking coffee is good for your health, but don't drink more than three cups a day. At first, I only drank instant coffee every day Do you want to vomit or drink like medicine? Later, I bought my own coffee machine. The brewed coffee powder is very fragrant and clear, and I can't live without this magical drink. Sometimes you can drink decaf without working overtime. I am very happy. I look forward to it just like drinking it when I was a child.
A little dessert can also make people feel good. Putting a little essence, perfume and even a little floral shower gel in the room can add points to a good mood.
extinguish
Every time a high-class house goes out, it is super reluctant to go out. There will be new discoveries, new storefronts, new public facilities, bustling streets and all kinds of people. If there are new discoveries, there will be new emotions. It will be better to bask in the sun and smell the flowers.
Sometimes friends call and say that they will go to the seaside for the weekend. They don't want to go at first. They think it's boring to go to the seaside, and the sea view is the same, but every time they go, they will be in a good mood, probably because of the good air and broad vision. There are many people who love beach life, surfing on the beach, walking dogs, basking in the sun and piling sand, and all kinds of silly laughter.
Then there are many theories.
It is difficult for perfectionists to adjust their mentality overnight. The tense and accurate state is always cultivated by the social interaction of parents, teachers, school exams, work bosses and customers. Appropriate pressure is the pressure of excessive motivation, but it is difficult for people to make a difference. After a period of repeated setbacks, I was almost forced to gradually learn an attempt to adjust my expectations. It is a good thing to expect too much and too little, and the result is often unexpectedly good. A better mentality is to be fully prepared for the battle, but don't care so much about the result, which will also be full of fighting capacity and double endurance. Sometimes success is just a matter of breath. You can only see it if you are open-minded, and you can only take it if you are open-minded. This is the first rule that needs to be practiced repeatedly, maybe dozens of times, maybe years.
Find a career you like.
I was a happy middle school teacher when I just graduated from college. I haven't felt any pressure on my children all day, and my life is better than my colleagues. On weekends, everyone often eats together and goes out together, but soon life begins to repeat itself. I can use it in the classroom after a slight change in the teaching plan of the previous two years. There are also repeated without thinking for a long time. The so-called repeated efforts every day will not make people better or better. The second key is boredom, which is my most terrible thing.
I read a foreign paper and proved the similarity of mother-daughter career development. There is a story in which the mother is a teacher and 80% of the daughters are teachers. It's true. For girls, it is difficult to change careers from a teacher, because it is so convenient to be a teacher, to take care of the family and to enjoy the winter and summer vacations. The rhythm of daily life is also more regular, and many other professions, such as commercial media, architectural design, translation, engineering accounting, law, etc., need further study and advancement. To grow up, we must face all kinds of requirements and unexpected situations of adult customers and bosses, work overtime at any time, run errands at any time, be bombarded by telephone and mail at any time, be taken advantage of by murderers at any time, and have strong psychological construction and the ability to upgrade in order to complete tasks.
Of course, it is not easy to sacrifice a lot when you are a teacher. You should have great patience and keep learning and improving yourself. But relatively speaking, the task can be completed with a little effort, without too much effort. Relatively speaking, interpersonal relationships are relatively simple and stable, and basically no one will disturb Woody Allen after school. The director was only joking, but this sentence made me very unhappy and made me reflect on my determination not to lock myself up in school all my life.
I have also experienced various ideological struggles. I want to learn from others and become a doctor and a university teacher. It's also good to explain it to your parents. However, after the struggle, the inner voice said, I don't know what research I want to do, and I shouldn't read my PhD at random. In addition, I am too active and imaginative to do rigorous academic mathematics, I am not sure about the data, and I can't write analytical papers. Finally, I am still interested in the world of flowers and flowers, and it is difficult to stay quietly in the laboratory office and concentrate on a project proposition that I am not sure about.
Because I like reading, writing, watching movies, and learning to write a script after a year and a half, the overall feeling is difficult, but I am very happy, because I will never be bored. Film and television is a huge world, enough for me to travel in my life. Every time I write a page in each class, I will feel that I have gained something and made progress.
The difficulty lies in several aspects. The first is that there are huge language barriers in English classes abroad, and it is very difficult to understand and express, and there will be no obvious progress in a year or two. But Ang Lee came here in this way. Even with translation, he can win the Oscar, so this mountain can be conquered by time and technology, so it is not difficult.
The second kind is more difficult, that is, to overcome your inner self and get used to it. It is easy for a teacher to return to a relaxed life, but as a writer, there is actually no rest, either writing or rewriting, or collecting reading materials, analyzing classic scripts and novels and rewriting them. When he is awake, he is trying to observe his life and look for inspiration. It is best to organize his thoughts 24 hours a day and refresh his three views. The more you know, the better. Watch news events, programs of various values, new trends, old history 100 years ago, novels 50 years ago and movies 30 years ago every day.
Sometimes if you read too much, you will be more suspicious that you know too little and can't write anything good. You are more talented, experienced, literary and thoughtful than you. Will anyone read what you write? Will you like it after reading it? At this time, you should pour yourself chicken soup for a change and divert your attention.
The main content of the chicken soup broadcast below is that you don't care how much money you earn, what you care about is whether you are happy or not, and you will get better and better if you make progress. Otherwise, if you don't advance, you will retreat, and then list a lot of stories about how your predecessors struggled for many years, and finally developed an influential work to inspire you.
But the biggest motivation is that when you do the right thing, no matter what the result is, you will experience a gradual upward trend. The process itself is irreplaceable. Satisfaction is that you haven't lived in vain for a while. A year and a half have passed, and I have unconsciously completed a 90-page English script. Although it is still terrible, it is more difficult than writing a sentence in the first semester. This is really a great progress. I want to write more about screenwriters and movies.
Experience change
The happiest thing is that I have experienced many real changes, regardless of gains and losses. I find that real change comes from every tiny choice and every tiny change in your heart.
I backpacked in Tibet and traveled on the route 66 in the United States. These look beautiful, but in fact there is no profound change in my heart. When the trip is over, it is often over. On the contrary, the real inner growth, for me, comes from the smallest shock and emotion.
In retrospect, I'll list some for the time being as follows.
For example, I find that my fluency in speaking English is absolutely related to my confidence in topics I am familiar with. I can be as fluent as a native speaker, even joking. On the contrary, if the speaker is unfamiliar to me or a new topic takes a long time to speak, I will stutter to the oral level of the first TOEFL test, and my voice will automatically drop because I am not sure about the words. Sometimes what I say is right and others will listen. Without realizing this, I subconsciously accumulated and classified experience in my mind, consciously classified topics and words similar to Lenovo in daily conversations, and confidently went to Subway to order food, which accelerated the order.
For example, I find that other people's affirmation has a lasting help to my mood, so I will tell myself that encouraging myself through other people's mouths is much better than chicken soup. That's good. I will praise others. After all, I was praised too little in an oriental recessive culture since I was a child. Even some fragmentary encouragement is very precious to me. The more you accumulate, the more you will cover all aspects of life. I don't feel ugly, useless, backache and backache.
For example, I found the benefits of boldness. I am naturally indecisive and not good at making my own decisions. You have to hesitate for half a day to watch a program in the supermarket. Pawn Star Pawn shops sell second-hand goods. The speed at which Americans negotiate prices and clinch deals is almost a few words a minute. I was a little shocked, and then I learned to do it quickly. Once I know what I want, I won't procrastinate. I found that it can really make life much faster. In the past, we had to look around for the best parking space. Now as long as you see the first parking space, you will stop and not stay in the car for long. We learned to brush our mobile phones and get off when we stopped, and then go wherever we should, at least in the matter of parking. Now we feel very relaxed. I can't understand what it's like to buy something before and go to see it twice without buying it
The reaction has also become faster. In pass, every time I was asked are you sure, I passed without thinking. Now it is found that it is not impossible to change your mind and answer between 0.0 1 second, and it is much better.
There is also a great courage motivation from a cat. The cat I adopted as a child was fine and stayed at home. I like going out when I grow up. Be careful every time you go out. When my little nose smells a little scared, I will rush home, but I am afraid that it will recover quickly every time and continue to challenge the outside world with strong curiosity. The fields it explores are constantly expanding, and nothing can stop it from going out to play. I looked at it strangely. Before I was moved, I was particularly reluctant to go out alone, as if I had the illusion that I would be killed if I went out. I must have friends with me. This cat gave me the confidence to travel around the world alone. Cats are not afraid of what you are afraid of.
I have to say that even if the IQ and EQ are the same, the endurance of girls is still worse than that of boys. Physically and psychologically, experienced directors in the crew will not scold girls, because they know that girls who are washed and practiced again are easily scolded and cried, and boys will only scold them for a big fight.
I don't like strong people younger than me. I think they are too aggressive, but when I am old, I am fortunate to know many capable and understanding professionals. They will also AA with you, but on the other hand, they will protect your rights. I especially like a girl's mantra called "find a way". Her first reaction and attitude to everything is often to find a way to see if there is any chance to achieve anything. She won't give up easily, but she will know her position and value in time. More importantly, when it is time to fight, let go of the earth and build your own world.
Like do you want to talk to strangers? When I first came to the United States, I treated people with courtesy in China. I have been chatting with all kinds of people as long as the other person doesn't leave. I have answered countless strange questions about where my hometown is. In order to avoid awkward silence, I took pains to explain it. Thank god, I'm finally relieved now. If nothing else, it is because I learned the old-fashioned face solution. Say I have to go or it's cool to meet you, and the other person will shut up immediately.
In fact, there are roadside promotions all over the world. Once when I went shopping, I was forced to sell a cosmetic. Those Americans in Beverly Hills knew that China people had money. As long as they have yellow skin, they will come all the way to send you samples. As soon as I found out the situation, I said I was sorry. I can't afford a blonde, he said. Why don't you buy a small bottle? I said, I don't need a beautiful woman. Why don't you buy an essence? I said, I really don't want to buy it. She gave me a sample and let me go. It may be nothing to all readers. For me, for the first time, refusing others so simply has no sequelae and no guilt. I don't think others will judge you because you are poor. Anyway, many rich people sell them to others. I will. I used to be the kind of person who was promoted and was absolutely easy to talk to. Basically, I will be embarrassed to postpone the meeting with the old aesthetics. Saying no will really save money and time in the future.
I also made a low-level mistake. Once I couldn't find my way out, and a foreigner offered to show me the way. I was very grateful, so I chatted with him several times, and people asked for my phone number. I didn't think much. Later, I found out that people defined my chat as flirting and sent me a bunch of flirting messages, so I had to block them. So most Americans are just chatting, and some of them may have several meanings. It really depends. The essence of the stinky face solution is that you know more and more who you are and what you want.
For example, for a while, Facebook and WeChat friends and people who love to participate in activities increased by hundreds, as if expanding the circle of friends would increase the sense of security. Later, it turned out that most people really don't need to meet a bunch of awesome people without seeing each other a few times. Well-informed is not a good thing, but in essence, everyone exchanges things equally. The so-called comparison can't change your life without your own core. Competitiveness is of no use, or speaking the same language will gradually fade away, while true friends will always accompany you, and like-minded friends will accompany you to progress. Sometimes a good friend's unintentional words will give you great help and inspire you. The advantage of having a clearer active choice for friends is that you are less susceptible, because knowing which is more important can tell how much a thing has to do with yourself, so the entanglement from the outside world will be greatly reduced.
When you are far away from home, you become more and more aware of the value of friendship, just like love. The occurrence of friendship also needs the right time, the right place and the right people, as well as careful management and active maintenance. If it is a friend you care about and a friend who can communicate with you deeply, please cherish it. If it's short, please keep looking.
For example, if I believe in love but don't believe in love, I don't know if there is fate. But recently rereading Monica's sentence in Friends made me agree with her. She told Chandler that their love met, and they both worked hard to get married step by step before they knew whether it was appropriate or not. Zhao Wei said that she didn't believe in love, and she didn't know how she came to this conclusion. In "House of Cards", the Cathys are married because. With like-minded ability and mutual support along the way, then special people can find people who suit them, not to mention a large number of ordinary people. Perhaps marriage is to find a long-term strategic partner, and love is more of a sensory experience that plus can't satisfy with life.
When it comes to getting along with Americans, I find that the children in their eyes are also the icing on the cake of plus. Many people actively choose to fully enjoy life without children. There is also a process to understand and accept this concept. I also preconceived that children are the standard of life from the beginning. How can I not have children all my life? I used to be very nervous and worried that I couldn't get married before I was 30. I didn't know it was far away to get married and have children until I talked to my predecessors every day. It's not that simple. It's not easy to live a good life first. What is the child's appearance and personality? You can't control it. Parents who are too young often complain that many American clubs don't have children until their careers are stable because the sudden appearance of children hinders their career development and infringes on their basic right to live freely. At this time, they are ready to welcome their children and enjoy the time of growing up with the next generation.