Sui/Wen
Before every child is born, the mother has a beautiful expectation in her heart, hoping that the child will be healthy, smart, happy, kind and ambitious ... Dai Rong is no exception. As a mother, Dai Rong once gave all her best wishes to her children, but from the day her son was diagnosed with autism, the life track of her and her son went in a direction she never expected, until today.
Confirmation; Make a definite diagnosis
On the day that Yee Yee was diagnosed with autism, Dai Rong cried in the car with her child in her arms for a long time, feeling that "the sky is falling".
About some characteristics of yee yee, she already had expectations in her heart. In Dai Rong's memory, Qiqi learned to speak much later than other children. He didn't speak until he was two and a half years old. He only said overlapping words like "Mom and Dad". At ordinary times, Qiqi doesn't like to interact with her parents, but only likes some "turning" things, and often plays with car toys all day by herself.
Until one day, Dai Rong read an article in Modern Children's Daily, which clearly recorded some common characteristics of autistic children, such as speaking late, walking on tiptoe and not liking communication ... Dai Rong found that these characteristics were very consistent with Qi Qi. Since then, Dai Rong has looked up a lot of information about autism on the Internet. "At that time I realized that my child should be autistic." Dai Rong said.
However, no mother wants to believe that her child has a "problem", and so does Dai Rong. Although he had an "answer" in his mind, when the doctor really pronounced the sentence, Dai Rong still had unspeakable pain. That year, yee yee was less than three years old.
It only took Dai Rong a month or two to accept this reality. Three months later, Dai Rong resigned because she felt that she couldn't take care of her work and children at the same time. Later, Dai Rong frantically "make up lessons". She participated in many intervention counseling classes and rehabilitation classes, and mastered more knowledge of autism intervention.
Half a year later, Dai Rong joined the Guangzhou Yang 'ai Special Children's Parents Club because of Qi Qi, and got to know many parents of children like her.
Dai Rong is the youngest daughter in the family. After learning that Qiqi had autism, her family gave her support. Dai Rong began to face autism with a more positive attitude, and participated in various rehabilitation training with Qiqi. She still remembers when her mother said to her, "Your life used to be so smooth. An autistic son is a test of life and cannot be changed. We will accept it with you and face it together. " For families with autistic children like Dai Rong, there is really little family support.
Calm; calm
After learning that his son was ill for a long time, Dai Rong didn't talk about it with people around him except his family. She didn't know how to speak. She was afraid of discrimination, even more afraid of sympathy or poor eyes. But it was not until something happened when Yee Yee was about four years old that she began to rethink the problem.
That day, Dai Rong took Yee Yee to swim in the swimming pool of the community. Even with autism, Yee Yee has the motivation to communicate. At first, she played well with a little girl. But after a few minutes, the little girl's mother found that Kiki was behaving abnormally, so she took her daughter's hand and said, "This child is really stupid. Let's not play with him. "
At that moment, I was stabbed. "I feel that my' face' has been torn off and I am completely embarrassed." Dai Rong said.
After this incident, Dai Rong often just looked at his son at home and kept thinking. "I wonder if I can avoid such embarrassment if I don't take him out in the future?"
Dai Rong wanted to think, think others' strange eyes on yee yee are not out of "malice", just because they don't know the specific situation of yee yee, and they don't know what it's like to be an autistic group. So she made up her mind, not only to bring Qiqi to a good recovery and help him grow better, but also to try to change people's views on him and let them better understand him and autism.
Soon after, a letter appeared in the community where Dai Rong lived, introducing the performance of an autistic boy and asking everyone to understand: "If the child has caused you any trouble in the past, please accept our most sincere apology." "In the future, your tolerance, understanding, support and help will be more important to our children and families. Please believe that as parents, we will do our best to help him improve his problem behavior. " "For any of his improper problems, please reflect to us in time, so that we can analyze the cause of the problem and take effective measures in time. The following is our contact information ... "
Like distributing leaflets, Dai Rong gave this letter to all the people in the community who might deal with Yee Yee, and left their contact information on it. Gradually, Dai Rong can clearly feel that most people in the community are very friendly, and they begin to accept Yee, whose daily activities are less resistant.
"I have met many parents who are afraid of outside discrimination and affect their work and daily life, or try to avoid the fact that their children have autism because of lack of courage. This kind of mental pressure is actually quite big. But after this incident, I feel that I have completely come out and began to calmly accept the fact that children are autistic. " Dai Rong said.
grow up
In addition, going to school is a big problem for autistic children. How should they adapt to strange environment? How to get along with the children around you? These problems plague the families of many autistic children.
In order to better integrate into Qiqi's study and life, Dai Rong applied to the kindergarten director to let Qiqi's "little sister" who has taken care of her for a long time enter the park to accompany her. That is, from this attempt, Dai Rong gradually realized the importance of special education assistants to children's learning in ordinary campus environment, and the feasibility of Qiqi's integration into ordinary schools in the future.
Because of her kindergarten experience, Dai Rong began to use the intervention knowledge she learned before going to primary school to make an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for Qiqi. In order to let the school teacher know his son's situation better, Dai Rong prepared a case manual, which contains several parts: a letter to the school teacher, introduction of autism knowledge, daily performance, personal education plan, behavioral intervention tips and so on. And will also introduce the specific situation of children and autism knowledge to all teachers in private.
In order to make other children and parents accept Qiqi better, Dai Rong bravely introduced Qiqi's situation to parents of classmates at the parent-teacher meeting, introduced what autism is, told parents about their efforts as parents over the years, thanked some parents for their acceptance, love and help, and hoped to continue to get more love and help in the future. In addition, she also advocated holding a life education class meeting to let more children know about diverse life individuals.
Dai Rong's heart has won the love and acceptance of ordinary students and parents. Many parents have been encouraging and supporting Dai Rong to stick to the road of public welfare for many years. In the second semester of the third grade, Qiqi's class teacher introduced a teacher with pre-school education background to be Qiqi's special education assistant. Since the fourth grade, this teacher has been accompanying Qiqi to complete the course study in vocational high school.
It is worth noting that the addition of special education assistants has not affected the normal class rhythm. On the contrary, the assistant teachers of special education have become the "right arm" of teachers in class because they have mastered many teaching skills. Qiqi's school life has not received any complaints and negative reactions for so many years, and Dai Rong is very happy with this achievement.
Today, Qiqi is a 24-year-old boy, who works in Hui Ling Shelter Factory (a public welfare organization that helps people with mental retardation receive education and employment). On weekdays, he can go out independently, take the bus to work, deliver the courier, shop and eat; On weekends, a person can cook simple meals independently, and at night, he can clean at home, wash clothes and fold clothes, tidy up the room and wash dishes. ...
In addition to painting as much as when he was a child, he would go to the gym every week to exercise by himself, make an appointment with a barber for a haircut and a dentist to wash his teeth. Every year, I invite some good friends from primary school to play at home and have a barbecue together. "By the way, he also arranged pedicure leisure activities for himself, often making an appointment with a pedicure master himself, and then going to the store by himself. He also gets along well with the employees in the store. " Dai Rong said with a smile.
Qiqi has her own life. And Dai Rong's life has new possibilities because he grew up with Qiqi.
As the mother of an autistic child, Dai Rong has been actively participating in the education and growth of autistic children and supporting parents' public welfare undertakings. In 2008, with the support of Guangzhou Yang 'ai Special Children's Parents Club, Dai Rong and other parents launched the "Love-in-Love" support/integration education project to promote the integration education policy, vocational education policy and supportive employment policy in Guangzhou; In 20 14, Yang Ai, the representative of Dai Rong, participated in launching the network of parents' organizations for the integration of mentally handicapped people in China, and worked with parents all over the country to promote the equal integration of mentally handicapped people into society.
After more than ten years' efforts, Dai Rong not only helped Qiqi finish his studies in ordinary schools, but also helped more and more families with autism and mental disorders to usher in a new life, and gradually promoted the social integration of people with mental retardation.
In a speech, Dai Rong said emotionally: "If it weren't for my children, I might just be a professional manager all my life, but because of him, I embarked on the road of public welfare." "So, I am grateful to my children. My children have made my personality more perfect and my life has been different. "