The most popular humorous jokes are full of contents and knowledge in many aspects of our lives, and sometimes a simple sentence brings us different feelings and meanings. The following is a compilation of the most popular humorous jokes.
The most popular humorous joke 1 1. What should you do if your girlfriend often doesn't return your messages? I suggest you change me. I'll be back soon.
2. I am very happy. I met a math problem. Through my unremitting efforts and the spirit of seeking knowledge, I finally found the correct answer on the Internet.
3. The subway said not to take the bus, so I got off decisively, because I was about to explode.
4. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!
5. Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, the first day; Fifteen points.
6. I smiled at the sky from the horizontal knife, and then I went to sleep.
7. Time is too thin and fingers are too wide.
8. Wait for my mother-in-law to deliver the goods.
9. A man wants to divorce his wife when he makes money. When a man can't make money, his wife wants to divorce him.
10, our goal: look at money and earn more.
1 1. I'm a passerby you forgot as soon as you turned around. Why should I accompany you to the ends of the earth?
12, during the episode of intermittent depression, don't disturb strangers or find acquaintances.
13. Mom doesn't have to worry about my study here. She has a textbook in one hand and a lighter in the other, so she can't click there.
14, handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!
15, if you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will find that I am a simpleton.
16, there must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.
17, medicine Chuck, I said grandson, you said.
18, don't count the stars with IQ, count the moon!
19, when life viciously turned everything into black humor, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with a higher education.
20. The teacher said that if you don't study hard now, you will fill in the blanks in the future. Study hard now, and you will find multiple-choice questions later!
2 1, when there is a bright moon, look up by yourself.
22. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.
23. Don't try to be brave after dark without medical insurance and life insurance. ...
24, chess, calligraphy and painting are not good, washing and cooking are too tired.
25, saying that money is evil, it is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!
The most popular humorous jokes on the internet (teasing articles)
1, bus congestion is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew you were a demon.
3, hands in pockets, no one loves.
When the road is rough, shout and move on.
5. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.
6. Grab your hand and drag it away! If you don't go, you will continue to drag on!
7. Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual!
8. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said: I can have this, and I said: I really don't have this. ...
9. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.
10, holding a kitchen knife to cut the wire, sparking all the way.
1 1, Lei Feng did a good thing without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.
12, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me?
13, there is love besides teeth.
14, I am convinced that someone will come to this world because of my torture.
15, parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.
The most popular humorous joke 2 is an absolute classic: the most humorous little joke
1, the cat was forced by life and sat in the cordate telosma hair salon opened by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon to ask for a bag, and the cat vowed to die. The mouse was furious and said, I chased Lao Tzu to death, and now I'm sending it to the door, and I'm still a prude!
The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!
3. In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell down.
4, a person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say: Can you keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now!
5. When someone was riding a bike, I heard a passerby shout: Go, Go, Go … I thought, Damn it, I can sing: Ole Ole…… I plunged into the ditch and didn't fall. Passers-by scolded: Shit! Let me tell you something, Gou Gou, do you still ride horses? You deserve to fall to death!
6, carp and tortoise to get a marriage certificate. The clerk asked how old the tortoise was, and the tortoise said: 100. The clerk said regretfully, I'm sorry, according to your family rules, you are underage and are not allowed to get married.
7. A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "What a fucking spirit!" "
8. A couple are fishing by the river. The lady always quarreled, and after a while the fish took the bait. The lady said, this fish is really poor. The husband said, yes, just shut up.
9. The science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows?" At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "That's because it's calm and naturally cold."
10, spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. The spider roared, "Why? Why is this? " The ant said timidly, "My mother said that people who surf the Internet all day are not good people!" " "
1 1. Xiaoguang is a diligent student. He worked part-time during the winter vacation to earn tuition. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and go to the hospital for internship at night. One night, an old woman had to undergo surgery because of an emergency, and Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman screamed in panic: "My God! You kill pigs. Where are you going to push me?
12, the male and female toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" . The boy next door replied with a deep and powerful voice: "Lei Feng."
13. When a person wants to throw up for the first time on the plane, the stewardess takes an empty bag, and then goes to get it when it is almost full, telling him to "stop throwing up". When I came back, I found it everywhere. I asked why, and replied, "I saw it was almost full, and I took another sip, and everyone around me vomited ..."
The most popular humorous jokes 3 humorous jokes
1. At the mobile phone party, a mobile phone said, "I'm from Nokia." The other said, "I'm from Samsung." Another well-dressed man said, "I'm from Apple." Then a cell phone in the corner said, "Don't argue, I'm fake, and whoever I love is mine!" " "
Second, I work in a hospital. One day, an earthquake happened. At this time, everyone went out. Only the old director of internal medicine calmly held the wall and took out two antihypertensive drugs ... he thought his blood pressure was very high.
Third, it snows. Ordinary youth: "Ah, it's snowing, so white!" " "Literary youth:" Snow is as clean as jade, purifying the soul and spirit! Young man: Cao, God's poop is white!
The frog took a bottle of Erguotou to the tortoise's house to pray for the secret of longevity. The tortoise blew on the spout. He said slowly, "It's actually quite simple. No matter what happens, stick your head in first. "
Sima Guang patted Wang Anshi on the shoulder: "Fu Jie, fight with me? You are still too young. " Wang Anshi calmly replied, "What's the big deal? Isn't it just smashing a water tank? I'm sure I will do the same. I just have one less chance than you. " There are two cold lights in Sima Guang's eyes: "Opportunities are created by ourselves. You only know that the old man smashed the jar, but you don't know how the child fell in? "
6. It is above 40 degrees Celsius every day, and I have to go out to run business. It is true that the barbecue business has developed rapidly, and now it has developed to every household.
A black man was bitten by lice. He blew out the candle and said, let you never see me again.
Eight, Zhang made a report, and the audience was buzzing, which quickly drowned out the director's voice. The director was very unhappy and was about to get angry when a young man stood up and shouted, "Everybody stop arguing!" " "The whole room suddenly quiet down. The director was very moved: after all, there is a bosom friend! The young man went on to say, "You made me wake up! "
I happened to chat with a MM today. I asked her what she looked like, and she said 168, long hair. I asked if I could be more specific. She said it was not specific? I said, sure, find a mop of 168 and turn it upside down. Isn't it just like you? ! Then she knocked me out. ...
X. When the American diplomatic delegation visited the Soviet Union, Soviet reception officials accompanied them to visit the great achievements of construction, and proudly said: By the next five-year plan, every Soviet family can have a private jet! The American asked in surprise: What do they need a plane for? Su Xiu officials said: Of course it works! For example, if you hear in Moscow that Leningrad has started to supply bread, you can fly to the queue immediately.
Eleven, mother snail said to the snail: You are not young, tomorrow I will take you to the village next door for a blind date. The snail said, I'm only 12 years old, and I haven't reached the legal age. Mom: When we get there, you will be enough.
Twelve, surfing the Internet at home One night, Wangwang suddenly jumped out of the window and said to me, "Dear, I am pregnant." Elder brother suddenly a surprised, the heart says he didn't rush what trouble? Just as he was stunned, the man said, "Go to the hospital for examination tomorrow." I want to know who you are. Do you want me to accompany you to check? Do you want to correct me? Just thinking, the man said, "I can only deliver the goods to you the day after tomorrow." Shit, I bought something at your house this afternoon.
Thirteen, on the way to learn the scriptures, the Tang Priest deeply felt sorry for his three disciples. One jumps up and down, the other is lazy, and the other always falls behind. They all have status, so they don't pay attention to quality. It is simply unorganized and undisciplined! So the Tang Priest gave special training to the three disciples. A month later, the Tang Priest said, "March quickly!"
Wandering in the street with friends, meeting foreign friends, say hello to him: "hello!" " "The friend also said," Ha Lao, cool dog! " "Sorry ... go to hell!
15. A few years ago, it was rumored that Wang, the minister of examination department, would take over as invigilator. Mr. Wang joked that only the year of the monkey is possible (when the monkey is emperor, there will be a year of the monkey, but it is impossible for the monkey. So he won't have a chance. However, in recent days, the concern of the upper class shows great signs of appointing Mr. Wang as a supervisor. Is there really no Year of the Monkey? I'm going to check Mr. Li's zodiac ... or did the newspaper do it on purpose? ...
Newton visited the Zen master because of mechanical problems. The Zen master spread a blanket under the inclined plane, put the ball on the inclined plane and let it fly. The ball rolled for a short distance and then stopped. The Zen master replaced the blanket with a smooth wooden surface, and the ball rolled for a long distance before stopping. Newton suddenly realized: you mean that force is the reason to change the state of motion of an object, and as long as it is not stressed, it can keep moving? The Zen master said, I mean, as far away from here as possible!
17. "When I was in college, my classmates went to Sichuan restaurant together and asked for a pig's head when ordering. After talking for a long time, the waitress couldn't understand. A classmate smiled and pointed to his head and said to the waitress, "Here! Pig head meat! " "Miss": "Oh … I see!" "From then on, this gentleman had the nickname" pig's head meat ". "
In the morning, a buddy went to the front of the stairs and stopped on the first step. After a long time, he suddenly woke up and shouted, "Isn't this an escalator?" ! "
Nineteen, a TV program said that a white radish was planted and turned into a carrot in autumn. Experts from all over the country discussed collectively. Water, fertilizer, land type, air, weather and even planting methods were investigated. Episodes 1, 2 and 3. The final conclusion is that my buddy planted the wrong seeds.
Twenty, a man was walking on a dusty road, and a coachman caught up with him with a four-wheeled car. He said to the driver, "Boss, can you be kind?" Take my coat to town. The driver said, "OK, but how can you get your coat again?" "He said," it's easy. I'll stay in my coat. "
Wei Xiaobao, Yang Guo, Guo Jing and Ling Huchong compare their wives together. Yang Guo said: My wife is willing to jump off a cliff for me. Guo Jing said: My wife is willing to break up with my father for me. Ling Huchong said: My wife is willing to be imprisoned in Shaolin Temple for me. Wei Xiaobao smiled and said nothing. They looked back. Shuang'er once asked Huang Rong, Xiaolong Girl and Ren Yingying for their phone numbers and QQ numbers.
Twenty-two. After reading the news that a man in Xiamen was paralyzed after eating twelve moon cakes all night, my girlfriend asked me flatly, "Why does this man keep eating cakes?" I also ate 12 months! ! ! "
Twenty-three, ordinary youth: "The girl we chased together in those years" Style literary youth: "The girl we went together in those years" Other youth: "The girl we downloaded together in those years" ~
Twenty-four, some petite girls, I beg you to stop saying that you are fat! Less than 100 kg, each with thin arms and thin legs, mini kept saying: ah! How fat! Want to lose weight! As a result, my calf stretched out and Nima was as thin as an arm! I dare ask, do you want to be as thin as a cushion? There is a line in front and a line on the side, which is too thin to see! ! You're not afraid of moving, are you?
Twenty-five, a small snail just climbed over a bridge, and the bridge suddenly collapsed with a bang. The little snail sweated and sighed, "Mom, I can't run fast, and my life is gone."
Excuse me, miss, can you take your chest away from my hand?
Only those lazy people will complain and suffer for not getting up every morning. Really motivated people will call for leave immediately.
28. In the restaurant, a man pointed to a tofu more than two meters long in the dish and shouted, "What ears are you! I ordered home-cooked tofu! " When the chef heard this, he wondered, "Isn't it long enough?"
Twenty-nine, moths go out to travel, and they are going to find a place to rest at night. However, I found an Internet cafe in front of me, so I decided to stay. Who knows that I was tied up by a spider as soon as I entered the door. Facing the spider's butcher knife, moths not only sigh; Damn it, black shop!
Thirty, really good men don't play games, DOTA or WOW. But when he is playing a game, as long as you send a text message, a phone call and a QQ, he will directly quit the game for you. A netizen spoke out: this kind of person is commonly known as "a teammate like a pig." Never cooperate with him!
A friend said to the moon: You are my other half. Yue said to Peng: I didn't promise to marry you. You should remember that we are just friends at present.
Thirty-two, the apple is sick, and the orange goes to see it. When I arrived at Apple's house, I saw Apple lying on the bed with thick gauze wrapped around her shoulders. The orange asked, how could it hurt so badly? Apple's mother said angrily, it's not her fault. I miss the iphone so much that I think it's really an apple. This is a dream!
33. Mu said to Zhu: Who is standing beside you? I don't know.
Thirty-four, a children's shoe remembers the English words as follows: gose (dog died), mouth (cat died), knees (you died), was (I died), bus (father died), yes (grandfather died), girs (brother died), miss (sister died), and school (death ray). ! ! Awesome!
Thirty-five, the monkey teacher teaches other small animals in class. Suddenly, the student pig farted, and suddenly, the whole class was boiling. The monkey teacher went mad with anger. Without thinking, he dragged toad out of the classroom and gave him a good corporal punishment. Just when Toad tried to defend himself, the monkey teacher shouted loudly, "Look at your belly bulging like that, I know you have a lot of fart!" " "