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20 19.6

Author: Ma Xiaocong

Text/Ma Xiaocong

0 1

Have you ever liked someone?

Friends say that true love should be someone you know at school.

I don't know why, with the growth of age, it is more and more difficult for us to like someone, and this feeling of bumping into a deer in our hearts has not appeared for a long time. Yes, after graduation, we never met that soul-stirring person again.

When we were young, we might all have a crush on our monitor. He is handsome, tall and handsome, commanding in front of his classmates, but sensible and obedient in front of his teachers. He studies well and has a sharp brain. He is among the best in every exam. He is synonymous with all good things.

We will be attracted by each other's looks and talents, fantasize about meeting him every day, and often get excited because each other looks at us for several days in a row.

In those years of love, two people couldn't wait to be together every day, as if they had endless faces and endless topics, and all their eyes were on you.

Because I love you, I give you my best, no matter who pays more or less. I don't have to think about anything, I don't need to pretend, I don't need to hide, and I can be herself coolly.

But later, the love we met faded and became calm, calm and unpredictable. At that time, we suddenly understood that we really grew up.

No longer as bold as when I was a child, I began to become timid. I am cautious about everyone around me, afraid to pay, afraid to talk about feelings, afraid of disappointment and injury, so more and more people devote their time to study and work.

Some people around me sometimes feel that they are right, and sometimes they feel that no one is right.

We have changed, become less impulsive, no longer regard feelings as everything, and no longer shout vigorous love. It seems that people around us put love in their hearts and want to say it but dare not.

02

Remembering what Mimi said to me at dinner the other day, I found it really difficult to fall in love after the age of 25, and I became more and more confused about what to do.

Mimi was introduced to a blind date, whose appearance, appearance and conditions all met Mimi's requirements, but she dared not express this satisfaction. She said that once a girl takes the initiative in a relationship, it will not end well. She hid her love and pretended to be indifferent.

After several meetings, the other party felt that Mimi was not interested in him and lost contact in less than two weeks. Mimi complained to me:

Adults' feelings become very anxious and they don't want to spend time understanding and running in. In the past, we all wanted to get married with someone we love, but now it has become a lot more realistic to find someone who can live and have children, and he should be suitable and interested in all aspects.

I obviously like it, but I dare not express it; Obviously, it is very suitable, but she dare not take the initiative to fight for it, because she doesn't know whether the other party likes herself or not, and she is also afraid that if she takes one step further, she will catch up with a ruthless injury like last time.

Mimi took the initiative to pursue a boy when she was 20 years old. After two years in love, Mimi pays twice as much as a boy. She said that she didn't care, there was nothing fair in love, and she just wanted to be kind to him wholeheartedly.

However, the more humble the effort, the less the other party cherishes it; The love between two people lasted for nearly 700 days, and the boy found the person he liked, just like Mimi's kindness to him.

From then on, she dared not like someone easily. This relationship made her understand that for a girl, from the moment you first said your love, you lost.

Nowadays, her choice of feelings is more and more contradictory, and she actively pursues and is afraid of being disappointed by the other party; Waiting for the other person to speak first, only to find that he has long lost patience.

The older you get, the more anxious you are, and there is no time to wait. As time goes by, we won't love each other more and more.

03

I had a moment,

I would rather not love than experience disappointment.

Therefore, studying and working constantly every day is just wasting time on yourself, which is much more reliable than an uncertain person.

It's not that I don't believe in love. It's only in the process of growing up that I will encounter a feeling of joy more than sadness.

Each of us is busy now. More and more people have their own goals and ideas. They are busy with work, fitness and doing something meaningful. They are too busy to socialize and shop, and even forget to call their families.

Occasionally, relatives and friends urge emotional problems and say awkwardly from time to time: I don't have time to fall in love, let's talk about it later.

Before I went to a coffee shop to write a manuscript, two people sat in an inclined position, looking like lovers and strangers. Playing with their mobile phones, I didn't say a word, and I could feel this familiar strangeness hundreds of meters away.

He plays games and talks and laughs with the people inside at the screen of the mobile phone;

In the video, she shows off the skirt she just bought with her girlfriends.

About an hour later, the two men stood up and walked out hand in hand. It's not like falling in love, but like a person finding a partner to live with.

It turns out that at our age, life is so busy that even if there is such a person around us, we have no time to pay attention, but how long can such feelings last?

Listening to friends, she and her boyfriend are now in the state of: eating together and looking down at their mobile phones; Walking together is just a quiet walk, there is nothing to say; As soon as I called, I hung up in a hurry on the grounds that "I have something to do here, so I'll go back and talk first".

It's not that they don't love each other, but that they don't know what to do to keep this relationship fresh.

Similarly, it is not that they don't want to fall in love, but that they are afraid that one day they will be scarred and become unable to believe in love.

04

In fact, everyone is looking forward to a good relationship.

Because of love, we laughed, cried, moved, and even did some behaviors that are childish in retrospect. These experiences make us strong in the secular world and learn to protect ourselves.

In the face of feelings, we are no longer impulsive and our hearts have grown a lot. Although we are calling love unreliable all day, our hearts are always waiting for a feeling of love.

When we grow up, it seems that we will not love each other more and more under the hardships of life.

But the feelings that I always feel that I have nothing to say are still because I don't love enough. Meeting a very right and suitable person will make you unconsciously express your love in various forms.

Every summer, all the flowers and trees are in full bloom, just like love.

-Wonderful review-

I like to torture myself.

I can't stay up all night. ...

If you want to be excellent, you should push yourself hard.

Ma Xiaocong, a psychological consultant, likes photography and writing. She lost 30 pounds in three months. A new book is being prepared. Personal WeChat: mcc960 12 1.

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