Mei Mei's boyfriend of two and a half years. Boyfriend is good in other aspects, but he is hesitant when talking about marriage, and even feels a little embarrassed to talk about marriage. Mei Mei was very sad and felt that her boyfriend didn't love her enough. "If you love me enough, won't you even give me a promise and ceremony?"
I have been doing emotional counseling for many years, and I often receive this kind of counseling: I am about to get married, and the other party suddenly hesitates, and even proposes to postpone the license or wedding, and I don't know what to do ... Some people even ask: How to find a person who is not afraid of marriage? Are children from divorced families necessarily afraid of marriage?
Of course not. Fear of marriage is as common as a cold. It happens to everyone. Everyone has their own fears. In the face of these fears, some people can get rid of them, and some people will sink from now on. In the movie "A glass of wine for a lifetime", the hero Miles and his friend Jack are about to marry their fiancee. But they are afraid of their future marriage, so they meet for the last crazy trip. They finally understood the meaning of marriage, and after all the troubles, they quietly returned to new york and started their married life.
This is not bad. Some people just ran away at the last minute of the wedding, leaving each other and a group of relatives and friends to escape every day. No matter what you have heard or come into contact with, there are indeed more men than women in fear of marriage now.
Some people are afraid of marriage because they think they don't really like each other that much. Just because time is up, you should get married. And when I walked to the foot of the wedding hill, I was scared: Do you really want to get married? Such people often don't know what they want in marriage, have a vague position on the other half, don't know much about how to fall in love, and don't know how to stimulate the feeling of love.
Some people are afraid of marriage because they are used to living alone. Living alone for a long time, people's psychology becomes more and more "independent". One can eat whatever he wants, one can play drama and exercise alone, and life is arranged to be full. If you get married and live alone and together, you have to take care of others' emotions, give up part of yourself and adapt to the pace of others' lives ... Is it too tiring and troublesome?
Others are afraid of marriage and divorce. In recent years, the divorce rate is getting higher and higher, and the mass media reports bad news instead of good news. The news of star couple's divorce immediately spread all over the sky. Even if there is no divorce, the gossip media are keen to guess which star couple has an unstable marriage and shaky feelings. Others come from families whose parents' marriage is not harmonious. They witnessed their parents quarreling since childhood, so they have a shadow on their future life and are afraid that their marriage will end in fiasco.
When many women meet men who are afraid of marriage, they generally don't think about deep-seated problems, but simply and rudely conclude: "He doesn't want to marry me for a long time because he doesn't love me. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. "
The problem is that love is small and marriage is big. How do you know that the next person will be able to walk through this marriage bravely? In fact, it's not that the other person doesn't love you, maybe he didn't think clearly about love, marriage and the future. Putting a person in fear of marriage step by step will only make him retreat further and further. His psychological script may be like this: you see, marriage really gives others the right to control me, and marriage really puts me under a lot of pressure. When forced to retreat, he just ran away.
The right thing to do is to discuss with each other, explain the reason of fear of marriage to him, and come up with a suitable solution. In this communication process, he will see your understanding and concern. When he brings these worries and fears to the table to share and face with you, your hearts will be closer. After that, whether you break up after negotiation is fruitless or reach an agreement to continue, such communication will add a lot of points to your feelings and make you more mature.
Therefore, people who are afraid of marriage often do not believe in the positive value of marriage and the world. There is one person in the world who can fight fear with him. You need to tell the fear of marriage that marriage is not perfect, but it also brings us a lot of happiness.
If you want to ask what is the meaning of marriage? That is, husband and wife should always make each other an important support for themselves to live in this world. If nothing else, we are part of each other's meaning.