I probably sorted out the main content of our usual chat.
First, I mainly listen.
He basically calls 2-3 times a week, and I listen to him, such as what happened at school, his review plan, epidemic situation and so on. When he said it, I responded well, and my main duty was to listen.
In the past, a phone call ended in two or three minutes, but now a phone call can basically last for ten to twenty minutes, because it takes him so long to have a meal. Being able to make a phone call for such a long time shows that my hearing is useful and he is willing to tell me. )
Second, the principle: words must be done.
When there was no epidemic in Shanghai, my son said that I would go to Dienis Paradise in Shanghai after the college entrance examination.
I won't say: let's not say where to play now, let's do well in the college entrance examination first.
I said: Yes, we will give you as much money as possible to relax and see the life of Shanghainese.
I want to get a fitness card and go to the gym after the college entrance examination.
I don't say: where to work out? If you want to exercise, you can always run on the road.
I said, well, muscular man is more handsome.
There is no need to take the exam on the 7 th and 8 th, and nothing can be done. Just pick me up after the exam.
I won't say: how is this possible? We must come so that we can rest assured.
I said, ok, we'll listen to you. With your permission, your father and I will go. If you don't let us go, we won't go. Everything depends on your needs.
Don't go home on the 8 th night. I have an appointment with my classmates. We are going to have a beer, and then go to the Internet cafe to play all night.
I won't say: it's not good to play anywhere, and I have to go to the internet cafe. Who went to the Internet cafe? That won't do.
I said: well, as an adult, you can go to the Internet cafe and feel the nightlife outside the campus. I know he pays lip service now, but he may not have gone then. Everything is changing. And even if he really wants to go, I may not be able to stop him. Just promise, and there will be no confrontation for the time being. )
(5) I got a few marks in the exam, so I applied to which school and what major; If I can get many points, I will apply to which school and what major; If I can get as many scores as possible, I will apply for any major in any school.
I won't persuade him: what school is good and what major is good. Because I don't think what is good is necessarily what he likes.
I said, "Son, you are amazing. You have chosen the school where you want to take the test scores, and the three echelons are stable, safe and urgent. These schools and majors you have chosen are all good. I want your father to study these schools and provide you with relevant data. You just choose, your father and I are responsible for raising. "
It's a good thing that a child has a target school and likes his major, which shows that he knows his grades and his hobbies. He must listen to his children more when he applies for the exam. He can't make the wishful decision of his parents. He can choose his favorite school and major, and he is willing to learn. He will be able to pursue his major in the future, and he will be happy to work. )
What kind of girlfriend am I looking for? I like girls with quality, aura and temperament. Speaking Mandarin makes people feel particularly comfortable.
I won't say: I'm not in love now Let's talk about whether a girlfriend is a girlfriend. Wait till I go to college.
I said, great! Mom also likes such girls. Generally speaking, some high school students fall in love, either to keep up with the competition, or to pass the boring life, or on impulse, and you have clear criteria for choosing a spouse. Just follow this standard to find it.
Mom clearly tells you that even if a girl is beautiful, if you don't like her, she is just an ordinary girl. Even an ordinary girl, we will like it as long as you like it, and we will like it because you like it, so if you are in love, just tell us. Tell your child the truth and keep fully accepting his affairs. It's better to be true than false, otherwise the children will not dare to tell their parents anything, and even the children's affairs will always be known at the end. )
⑦ University 1 year, ready to keep the student status and join the army. I think soldiers have more temperament, and I can choose a good major when I come back as a soldier.
I don't say: what kind of soldier to be? Bitter and tired. Just learn your major well.
I said, son, you even know this. Mom never understood these things. Life needs more experiences to enrich your life. I am on your side.
I have a principle that as long as he talks about what happened after the college entrance examination and what he promised, he will meet his temporary psychological needs first. As for whether he will change his mind in the future, when he really wants to do something, it is easy to say the right support and inappropriate face-to-face communication. There will be no confrontation and dispute on the phone, and there will be no anxiety and worry about tomorrow. )
Third, care about life.
When my son calls, if I take the initiative to talk, I will ask him if he is cold, hot or not, and if he has eaten. Is it convenient to take a shower? Is this seat comfortable? Wait.
Fourth, feedback highlights.
I will also take the initiative to give feedback to the teachers' achievements in the group, such as which one got a better test, a higher total score, a higher ranking, or a more prominent subject, said the special inspection highlights. There used to be 10 things, nine good things and one bad thing. I also want to say that bad thing, and now I have developed the ability to say good things. )
It's still the photos and videos sent by the teacher. I can see that you are so straight and serious in listening to the class and very attentive in doing your homework. Your father and I have saved the photos and even taken screenshots of the video. I will see you every day.
Timely feedback to the child, where he did better, or there are hundreds of children in the class, how can the teacher always pay attention to each child? When no one sees whether he is doing well, he may lose confidence. If parents can see what he has done well at any time and give affirmation and encouragement in time, he will have a good impression and do better with good impression.
Fifth, attract children with beautiful things.
Your aunt is going to ask your uncle to give you a computer with a hard disk of more than100000, which will not be out of date for many years, just waiting for you to come back and choose.
What brand of imported watch is your aunt going to buy for you?
What mobile phone is your aunt going to let you choose? ……
Life before the college entrance examination is really bitter, tiring and even depressing, so we should tell our children more beautiful things to make them more motivated, hopeful, confident and empowered.
In short, at the critical moment before the college entrance examination, our children can't be around and can only communicate by phone, so we pay more attention to the positive side, think in a positive way, give our children more positive encouragement and praise, and make him feel better. Let him move from beauty to beauty, and the result will be beautiful.
20220504 Ye Xuebai daily deposit 1924.