Emperor Yang Guang of Yang Di
I'm afraid our Comrade Yang Guang's evaluation in the history of China is extremely unbearable. If the erotic news about this gentleman is contemporary, I'm afraid I'm lucky to be on the gossip headlines of major websites every day. For example, when Yang ascended the throne, he gave up his father before his bones were cold. He couldn't wait to tear off his crotch and put Mrs. Xuanhua and Mrs. Ronghua on the big bed, having a good time. Today's news headlines can probably be that Yang Guangzi inherited his father's career and his little mother became a small partner in bed.
However, for Yang Guang, a genius who is always keen on whimsy, just performing in the palace seems to be too small a stage. As for dad's "widows", they have just experienced a fiery ordeal, and now if they hold their right hand with their left hand, it is already stuffy and cold. The so-called all love can't be locked, and a red heart goes out of the wall. Our Comrade Yang Guang, with a pure heart, came up with this idea outside the palace wall. However, how to find a reason to climb over the wall and pick flowers? So, Yang Guang came up with a coup: going out for a cruise.
After thinking about the itinerary, the next thing to do is to determine the destination and travel strategy. If you just wander around Luoyang, the eastern capital, you will inevitably lose your dignity. Yang guang secretly decided to make a scene. Of course, Yang Guangben is a person who enjoys it. As a result, a "water high-speed rail" from Luoyang, the eastern capital, to Yangzhou and Jiangdu started. Today, Luoyang, Henan, Yangzhou, Jiangsu, even if it is a straight line, it is nearly 800 kilometers. According to the production conditions at that time, the manpower and material resources consumed can be imagined.
However, the meaning of this "water high-speed rail" is not "high speed" but "high specification". On the day the project was completed, Comrade Yang Guang couldn't wait to take a huge team of 200,000 female agents to Jiangdu for public travel. For a time, the river was covered with thousands of "water trains". These "EMUs" are lined up on the water, end to end, which can be described as endless, up to 200 miles. How can such a huge team travel?
Of course, our great leader has thought of it. Before he left, he made rolling news in major media and called on all localities to actively respond to the national fitness campaign. All men of the right age along the way are obliged to take care of their hair. As for the river bank, the Royal Avenue surrounded by willows was built, and two honor guards were escorted by private soldiers.
For a time, the river was colorful and colorful flags fluttered on the land. The scene at that time was unprecedented. Of course, in order to show the country's leaders' kindness to the people, Yang Guang also launched a series of activities of "Going to the Grassroots, send warm" in full swing, with the theme of "Taste all kinds of delicious food and taste all kinds of people's sufferings", calling on people all over the country to sell iron and offer hometown dishes. In this way, at 8 o'clock every day, the news guide programs of the Sui Dynasty frequently broadcast touching pictures of imperial leaders cordially meeting the grassroots, shaking hands and being caring and attentive.
Of course, in addition to creating a harmonious scene between the monarch and the people, there is naturally a theme of hooking up behind Yang Guang's sightseeing. For our well-connected Comrade Yang Guang, how to be glamorous is naturally not a problem.
For example, Yan Shi, a folk gossip magazine of Emperor Yang Di, recorded that when the "motorcade" on the water traveled thousands of miles eastward and reached the Yangzhou border, our Comrade Yang Guang made an important speech on the local TV station in Yangzhou. The content of the speech is roughly to call on the masses to respond to the national policy of "green travel, low carbon emission reduction", not only for male compatriots, but also for female compatriots.
As a result, the beautiful young girls in Yangzhou were asked to dress up, put on "refreshing" clothes, dress up as "baby bullet trains", hold strings on the shore and follow the delegation slowly. Of course, if Comrade Yang Guang on the "special train" meets an intimate look, he will shout to the balcony for cordial condolences.
However, life is a journey without turning back. Yang Guang, our senior "donkey friend", has spent so much money on donkeys that even if he lays a good foundation, he sometimes suffers from "kidney deficiency". With Yang Guang's happiness, the days of the collapse of the Sui Dynasty are numbered. Interestingly, although the Great Sui Dynasty perished and Comrade Yang Guang initiated a new concept of "beautiful donkey behavior", there are many followers among the younger generation. For example, Emperor Zhu Houzhao of the Ming Dynasty was one of them.
Five cases in Zhu Houzhao
Interestingly, compared with Yang Guang hiding half his face behind the guitar in front of us, Zhu Houzhao's kung fu of picking up girls is simpler and rougher.
According to historical records, Zhu Houzhao visited Jiangnan many times in his life. Every time I go to this place, Comrade Zhu Houzhao will open WeChat and shake it. Anyone who shakes the portrait of a fair woman will lock her position. No matter where she is, whether it is a building with dangerous terrain or a hut near the village, as long as there is a door and a woman, Zhu Houzhao can always "carry a gun" and go straight in to "fight".
Of course, in order to prevent the fish from escaping through the net, Zhu Houzhao asked eunuchs around him to secretly write down the street houses where girls and widows lived in the city and drew a "GPS professional navigation system". In the middle of the night, open the gate, call the saints, light candles and welcome the citizens. Comrade Zhu Houzhao will show his personal "navigation" and "humanistic care" one by one.
Xu Huixin, Song Huizong
Compared with the local tyrant style in Zhu Houzhao, The Next Emperor is much more literary and artistic. He is not playing WeChat, at least he is a stranger. This man is Song Huizong Xu Huixin.
Mrs. Guo, You Chuntu
This man, Song Huizong, still has a certain popularity in history, because Shuihu, known as the history of underworld entrepreneurs in ancient China, gave him the position of the best supporting villain. Of course, in addition to the good qualities we are familiar with, such as depravity and frivolity, Xu Huixin also made academic research on flowers and trees, bamboo stones, birds, animals, insects and fish, Dingding's paintings and calligraphy, immortal Taoism and so on. In modern terms, Comrade Xu Huixin is a young artist, or at least a young artist with an idiotic tendency.
Of course, like all previous emperors, Zhao Ji has a similar feature, that is, lewdness. According to historical records, the concubines in the monarch's harem are like clouds, and they are known as "three thousand powders and eight hundred cigarettes". However, this 3,000-year-old makeup is always annoying, especially for Xu Huixin, the son of heaven who wandered in the literary and art circles. I hope that the women around me can not only have "action movies", but also stage "literary movies" in bed. It's a pity that the woman you see, influenced by the harem derailment and spiritual exchange, can't sublimate naturally. So Xu Huixin dug out of DOG and looked at the world outside the palace. At this point, a woman appeared in front of Xu Huixin.
This woman's name is Li Shishi. Of course, we might as well explain Miss Li's life story. Li Shishi, the daughter of Wang Yin, the owner of Bianjing Dyehouse, died in prison at the age of four because her father failed to greet the officials who came to "eat and get cards". The street teacher was adopted by Liu Yun, a pimp with a brothel business license in the Song Dynasty, and changed her name to Li Shishi with her surname, teaching her chess, painting, dancing, waiting on people, etc.
Of course, our Miss Li Shishi is a beauty, and her voice is naturally euphemistic. She has been trained by a senior "mommy". At the age of 28, she has become a minor celebrity in the industry.
Scholars and descendants, in order to get VIP membership cards and see the beauty of the goddess, scramble to spend a lot of money without changing their faces. As for the women in Beijing's major teaching workshops, whenever they hear that their teachers are famous, they also pick up stingy manners and give a thumbs up to show their efforts on the career path. In other words, Li Shishi has become the "industry benchmark" of Beijing brothel industry.
Our comrade Xu Huixin, under the enthusiastic guidance of his personal secretary Gao Qiu, had a cordial conversation with Li Shishi in Momo under the false identity of Zhao Yi, the top scholar in the imperial examination. He talked about the current international situation from Armani, Haagen-Dazs, Kundera of Milan and Haruki Murakami.
Of course, the ultimate goal of spiritual communication wrapped in any excuse will be transformed into body language. Finally, the two met in the name of literary exchange, and the meeting place was naturally the luxury box of Li Shishi's "home" brothel. After a few glasses of wine, the beautiful woman danced with joy and her clothes faded. Xu Huixin then drank hard and got up. The more she looks at her, the more she likes her. A bear hug entered Lowe's.
One night, the pillow was soft, and Li Shishi's gentleness and thoughtfulness naturally made Song Huizong dream. Unfortunately, I feel that the time is short and the morning light is short. Although Xu Huixin holds the golden rice bowl of his ancestors, he is a civil servant after all and has already signed in, so he reluctantly agreed to meet later. Since then, Xu Huixin will naturally take care of Li Shishi's business and become the norm. However, with the passage of time, Xu Huixin's identity will inevitably be exposed. Some tabloids in the street will naturally add a lot of romantic scraps.
Tongzhi emperor of Qing dynasty
Interestingly, when the son of heaven goes out for courtship, someone will always screw it up. It was the Emperor Tongzhi of the Qing Dynasty who made such a romantic article gloomy. It is worth mentioning that the access system of harem in Qing Dynasty is different from that of many previous dynasties. It turns out that Manchu people are not allowed to intermarry with Han people in order to ensure the purity of their blood. However, the circle of Manchu people is already very small. After several generations of inbreeding, genes naturally become more unbearable. When Tongzhi ascended the throne, the choice of harem was mostly crooked melon and jujube.
A woman as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade, the more natural the better, but a woman who looks like a "flower" is much more entangled and may not be in a good mood, so our Tongzhi emperor has a heart to go out of the wall. However, Emperor Tongzhi grew up in a small palace and was used to reading red tape, but there was no intimate friend like Gao Qiu to give him advice. So, this out-and-out lone ranger had to secretly go to Baidu in the dead of night to search "Where is the pretty girl under the imperial city?" And the answer he got was naturally, "I just saw the red light hanging high in the Liuxiang Hutong in Huajie, and I pushed the door in."
These answers directly led Emperor Tongzhi to the red light district on the street. As a result, this originally "high-end, atmospheric and high-end" prince and showgirl turned into low-level hooliganism. Of course, none of the "lost women" on the street passed the professional skills examination, and there is no professional ethics. They are not as gentle and delicate as Li Shishi. What's more, the "office environment" is extremely bad and there are no good related safety measures. After several affairs, Emperor Tongzhi, who grew up in the deep palace, finally lost to him with low immunity and died.