As the saying goes, it's harder to be a good person? You can imagine how difficult it is to be a man. Because you have to face all kinds of people with colorful temper and personality when you are alive, you should learn to understand human nature! To gain insight into human nature, we must grasp the distance and scale, that is, we must control our temper and explore and guess other people's minds, so as to grasp the scale and measure. If we have done it, we can't do it. If we are too timid, we must do it just right. How hard it is.
In dealing with people, "solitude" and "communication" are both necessary. Although "loneliness" is closer to human nature, don't exaggerate the benefits of "pulling away" until you know what real loneliness (or real solitude) is. It was in these years that I suddenly understood that "loneliness needs to pay attention to qualifications", just like keeping a low profile, it needs qualifications, not ideas. People, only by defeating their inner self, can they defeat others outside. It is necessary for a person to be alone and communicate. Although solitude is closer to the essence of life. But it takes strength. It's not an idea, or it's an escape Let me just talk about myself. How do I understand that "solitude" and "communication" are both necessary-I think that before I was 28 years old, all "solitude time" was not solitude, but escape. However, using the word "escape" to describe my state is still not accurate enough. I want to add a few more marks: there are reasons not to like, there are reasons not to like, there are reasons to be afraid, I don't want to get into trouble, I don't want to be responsible, I deliberately turn a blind eye and I can't afford to hide. Before I was 28, I did choose Loneliness for the above reasons. And take "no friends" as an advantage. I think everyone guessed what I didn't say at the time-"I'm too lazy to serve the world." Actually, I just can't afford it, but I must say I don't like it.
As the saying goes: learn to be a man first, then learn to do things, so being a man is really a difficult learning, because everyone has different temper and personality, and there must be a gap in style. You should treat others differently according to their personality? The brain should be resourceful and flexible, so as to deal with them and be comfortable with them. Not only must you be smart, but you must also have a good temper, insight into human nature, and tolerance in order to get the respect of others! So: how hard and tired it is to be a man.
At that time, my mother said privately, "This is not my daughter." Her mind was hidden in her heart and her face was expressionless. Later, I guess what my mother didn't say should be "Why are you so ignorant at your age?" I guess my husband probably has a similar idea, but he hasn't said anything since the beginning. Later, I thought, what my husband didn't say should be similar to my mother. What is more sad than this is that at that time, I didn't say anything to anyone. But I didn't know I deserved it. Many people, including my parents, forgive me for my husband. At that time, my husband's ridicule was "Don't be angry, my family Xiaojing doesn't talk to anyone except express delivery." At that time, all my friends around me thought I was lonely (eccentric)-the loneliness that my dreams could not be realized in cruel youth, the loneliness that no one wanted to listen to, and the loneliness that began with the freelancer who was full of ambition and finally lonely, and the incredible loneliness that I liked to think. Thanks to them, they all gave me great tolerance. At that time, there was a big sister in our circle who worked out together and spent three hours a day in the gym, 365 days a year. I said, you are so persistent. She laughed and trembled, saying, Mao Yili, I kept it from my mother-in-law. She has been married for many years and has no baby, no housewife and no mother-in-law to live with. She said that 24 hours a day, just these hours are her own, so I must enjoy this solitude. So, she has an hour of strength, an hour of aerobic and an hour of sauna. Then, she went home.
Enlightenment is a personal matter. You don't have to deal with many people. There are many things when there are many people, so it is more complicated and more difficult to do. It is difficult for one person to fill the hearts of hundreds of people, and it is also difficult to satisfy hundreds of people. This is the difficulty of being a man. Enlightenment means that as long as one realizes it slowly, one need not worry. If you fully realize it, you will fully understand it. You still have plenty of time to meditate and understand in your life. When you realize this, you should behave well! You should also learn to be smart, so that you can afford everything and put it down, so that you won't be entangled or care about something in your heart? People naturally live a cheerful life! The mind will be peaceful, the heart will be balanced, and everything will go with the flow. Because you know it's yours that can't get away, and it's useless if it's not yours? He will leave eventually, because he has no chance with you, and he wants to find someone who is destined for him.
In a place where many people get together, how can you not tell others what you think at any time and place? And don't take others too seriously. Later, I gradually understood his words. Understand what "true loneliness" is. Or I should learn from Schopenhauer's words-"get into the habit of bringing some loneliness into social groups and learn to maintain a certain degree of loneliness in the crowd." In this way, he will learn not to tell others his thoughts anytime and anywhere at once; Besides, don't take what others say too seriously. He can't expect too much from others, whether morally or ideologically. He should cultivate an indifferent attitude towards other people's views, because this is the most practical means to cultivate rare tolerance. Although he lives in the crowd, he can't be a part of it completely; He should keep in touch with others as objectively as possible. This will help him avoid getting too close to the social crowd, which is also called protecting himself from slander and pollution by others. "But Schopenhauer has a more important saying:" If a person chooses to live a lonely life out of legitimate disgust and fear of others, then he can't endure the dark side of lonely life for a long time, especially when he is young. " .
Life is for ordinary people, and enlightenment is for Buddhist disciples and laymen who see through the world of mortals. Compared with the two, the proportion of mortals in the world is really large. It is not easy for people to live in the world, and it is even more difficult to be a celebrity elite. Why is it difficult to do things? When it is difficult, it is difficult to practice. Not everyone is flexible, but most of them are honest and kind. If this person is simple, people will not take you seriously and treat you as an honest man. If you are an honest person with good character, those honest people with poor character will have a hard time and will be considered as people who are not worthy of sympathy. The second difficulty lies in personality, which is given by parents. People who don't work hard the day after tomorrow and have a mellow personality are often unable to make ends meet. People who love to be welcomed by everyone and have a strong personality are often unable to eat. Three difficulties are difficult in the pursuit of goals, and the higher the pursuit, the more things. In order to survive, people always have to pursue, and the pursuit often has a lot to do with ability. Generally speaking, the stronger the person, the higher the goal.
About "dealing with the world" is more important than the above. We should be clear about our own situation and understand other people's practices. People know that underestimating their enemies is often more terrible than committing suicide. Learn to accept your position frankly and integrate into the surrounding society. On the other hand, when dealing with people, don't expect too much from others, whether morally or ideologically or even in terms of interests. If you really don't expect too much, then you can really be indifferent to what others think of you, what others think of you, and all the praise and criticism of the outside world, which is more or less different from "not surprised by honor or disgrace". People who are "evaluated by the outside world as inferior to their own strength" have the best chance to see the truth of the world. A person who does not climb high is not afraid of falling. If he is looked down upon, he is not afraid of being killed. He can keep his innocence, become natural and concentrate on what he can do.
Body, mind and mind are difficult to practice. At first, it was a low-level cultivation, an intermediate cultivation and an advanced cultivation. After bodhicitta (enlightenment), from the new primary cultivation to the advanced cultivation. Mind is the first step, behavior is the last step, and theory and practice produce true knowledge. Image Buddhism is divorced from practice and can only be a ghost. What is enlightenment? Causality visits the photos, and the Bodhisattva says enlightenment. Image religion not only sees through the world of mortals and brainwashes them, but also does not actually do it in life from the heart, which is one of its shortcomings.
As a social person, we should respect the rules of nature, big or small. You see, the Monkey King has infinite magic and a spell. Laws or rules are the masters of the world, not any "person". You'd better listen. As for whether others respect the rules or not, that's someone else's business. What are the rules? Rules are divided into heaven rules and humanity rules. There are 365 days in a year, the clear spring flows from high to low, and the sun, moon and stars rise and set in the west. This is heaven. So, what about the rules of human nature? My understanding is: that is, the rules have been made clear before, and things are different; If you don't talk about anything morally and can solve it with tools or rules, never use chicken soup for no reason. Value neutrality aims to build consensus through this rule, improve cooperation efficiency, balance the interests of many parties, and form effective actions.
Yes, when we interact with people, we should have a standard of public morality and moral belief. However, the principle of working together and public morality are two different things. As Wang Shi said, it is a great challenge for an enterprise to "play" with whom at the beginning of its establishment and who can continue to "play" with you afterwards. What kind of people you work with is very important, so stay with people who know the rules. Speaking of starting a business and playing together, why stay with people who know the rules? Isn't it good to be with "kind" people? Isn't it good to be with people with "good abilities" Isn't it good to be with "trustworthy" people? Isn't it good to be with people who share the same ideals? Isn't it good to be with people who never leave? All the above are good, but these are the basic requirements for entrepreneurial characteristics, and the advantages should not be taken away. I've seen other people's failures and I've seen my own. I understand that where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and where there are rivers and lakes, there are benefits. In this social form, especially in entrepreneurship, it is very important to understand the rules. It is more important to abide by the "rules of the game", so there is no need to talk too much about others. Human nature is complex and cannot stand the test. We are in this Jianghu, and some things are either irrelevant or involuntary. Many times, we all think that we have connotations, and "little people" are all others. However, once your fragile side is scratched by inexplicable things, you will give up the connotation of elegance, show the "fox tail", try to drown everything that scratches yourself, and forget that your behavior needs to be corrected! At this time, the rules are very important. Cooperation needs rules of the game, and teams need rules of the game. Rules of the game can help everyone in the team to know how they should behave. At any time, the interests of the team are higher than those of the individual.
Good and bad are not absolute, and many times they can be transformed into each other. The only right thing is to live according to your own nature, and the only wrong attitude towards life is to live against your own wishes. As a person, the easiest way to treat life is to stick to your true self, maintain a stable and flexible personality, cherish your own style, keep your spiritual garden and stick to your personal dignity, so that you can become a better and better self. More importantly, in the noisy world, you can still keep your independence completely relaxed and happy. Finally, don't take life too seriously, it's just a game.